Posted by SDNA
Insecurity? Can't stand people not liking you? I put question marks to not sound like a fuccboi
Posted by STARPISCESWARPosted by lovely77
Why do ppl feel bad when they cant help others? I have a weakness for this i really feel bad about not helping ppl. I cant say no. Do you have these issues? Im trying to work on it. Even at work i take on all projects i hate to let ppl down.
I alway's try to improve my own life ! Peoples did really big mistake when they think they can help others, first try to make yourself powerful and then think about others ! HELP YOURSELF FIRST ! God is there for every1 he makes us human and we are greatest animals on Earth !click to expand
Posted by Cancer Lady
I agree with it being insecurity. I use to be that way when I was younger because I didn't really have the confidence to know it's okay to stand on your own and not need validation or acceptance from anyone because ultimately what you do will never be good enough and you're going to always end up disappointed.
At some point you'll get tired of being used and taken for granted and you'll gain the security and confidence in knowing you deserve more than the crumbs you accept from others while you're giving them the whole pie. Now I only help those that are actively helping themselves and when I notice the pattern forming and it becoming a master/slave dynamic, I'm out because I don't have time and I know where it's going to lead and I'm not putting up with it period.
It can be tricky for Cancers because some of us like to give but I often find we give to the wrong people. I remember being at work and we were talking about zodiac signs and friendships and when they brought up Cancers, there were comments made that stated yeah you need to have a Cancer friend because they buy friendships so I keep them around for that reason as I know I can get whatever I want from them. Someone else agreed stating they knew they could ask their Cancer friend for anything and won't ever be told no.
Me being a Cancer I didn't say anything because it was pretty eye opening the things they were saying and I realized that the majority of what I do for people, is not appreciated. So like I stated, I don't give or help unless the person is already making progress on their own because I'm not going to allow them to use me for their benefit only and if that's the only value you have in someone's life, then they do not value you. If I can't call you can cry on your shoulder for hours, don't expect to call me and think I'm going to listen to your problems and allow you to cry on my shoulder.
Posted by Cancer Lady
Actually it was much more like they gave examples of what they meant. One chick said she couldn't find anything to do with her hair so she called her Cancer friend at like 9 at night and she said yeah come on over I'll do your hair. The chick showed up with hair wanting her hair braided and everyone knows braids take a long time. Well the Cancer didn't get finish till like 3 in the morning and had to be to work at 9 while my co-worker was off the next day. Like why would you do that? and the Cancer being the nice person she is agreed to do her hair knowing it was going to be time consuming and she had to go to work the next day but of course being a Cancer she didn't say no.
There was another example about going out, the Cancer always buys drinks and pays to get in the clubs when they lie and say they don't have money. Or how they never give the Cancer gas money to drive. They were really telling it all and I was just sitting back listening and if there is ever a time I even halfway try to feel bad or guilty for not helping someone, I always think about that day and all the things they said about Cancers. Its snaps me out of that feeling everytime.