something to offend everyone

What is the difference between a Harly and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball

juan on Juan

Why is divoce so expensive?
because Its worth it

What do you call JT and OJ..?? Abbott and Costello?? or gog and magog..??

Hmmm?

you must remember that Lou was a mean nasty little man in real life

what do you see when the pillsbury dough boy bends over

doughnuts

lol @ doughnuts!!

It takes a lot to offend sweet pea, I will work harder

nasty mouth little man shame

Why is air like sex

because its no big deal unless you'r not getting any

I take Mexican Judo. Judo know if I have a knife, Judo know if I have a gun!

what do you call a smart blond

a golden retriever

How's this for offensive? What's ironic is that one of my black friends showed me this: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1742575/

what do attorneys use for birth control?

their personalities.

whats the differance between a girlfrind and a wife 45 lbs

what is the differance between a boyfreind and a husband

45 minutes

whats the fastes way to a mans heart
Between his ribs with an ice pick

why do men want to marry virgin's

they can't stand criticism!

why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?

because they already have boyfriends.

Got to shake this tread up a bit...

A Scottish Wedding:
Ach, it?s all going grand, says Gavin, I?ve got everything organized already; the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.
Angus nods appprovingly.
Ah've even bought a kilt ta be married in, continues Gavin.
A kilt, exclaims Angus, That?s braw, you?ll look pure smart in that. And what?s the tartan? Angus then enquires.
Och, says Gavin, I?d imagine she?ll be in white.....

Some more shaking up:

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down .