What a surprise…my boss hates me

This is now 4th manager in a row who has it out for me.

I’m a little sad over this honestly. The Hire and Hate cycle is ridiculous. Especially since I didn’t ask for this role. They approached me and now homegirl can’t stand me.

I don’t know her sign. I do know that she self described herself as a shark which I loved because I feel the same way about myself. But I also knew what to look out for.

I was getting micro aggressions from her from the very beginning and I didn’t want the job because of it. I openly objected to it. But others believe they know more about what I want than me so here I am.

At a recent company outing last month, she avoided me the entire afternoon. I couldn’t even get her to stay in my vicinity for more than a second so I could at least greet her. Nope. She avoided me the entire time even after asking everyone if they were going to attend. I left with a real sour feeling.

I had my suspicions about her after the outing. I marked her as a potential troublemaker and I was quite right. I learned from a source that she does in fact hate me.

My intuition is telling me it’s time to switch departments. I can’t continue to be her punching bag. My track record is t that great. One terrible boss after another. Starting to feel like my dating life.

What is with this cycle?

Sorry to hear this. What is the actual problems you are having with the bosses?

I learned a long time ago that I needed to work alone without a boss breathing down my neck. I can't stand being micro managed.

She is belittling, condescending, and sets these unknown standards of which I do try to anticipate but she suffers from “not good enough” syndrome. She won’t let me finish a sentence even if her life depended on it.

I’ve learned to let her just ramble and I tune her out. She likes to hear herself talk and idc. She forgets requests and then bitches about it later to be confronted.

She creates problems and then bitches about the problems.

It’s been my belief that I can’t judge her because I don’t know what she’s going through at home but it doesn’t give her the right to be short and condescending.

I can switch departments rather easily and I believe she will find the subordinate she truly deserves. Because it ain’t me. I have no desire for the job but I’m a professional

I just think it’s horse manure how I didn’t want this job because I knew what I would be walking into.

Posted by nanobotz

Having a boss you dislike and dislikes you can quite literally ruin your entire life. Ever since I started my job as an engineer, I don’t have to deal with the very same “micro aggressions” anymore from women. And yes, I don’t care if anyone jumps on me for that, it’s LITERALLY always women doing that shit, every single time. To think I got my cosmetology license like 10 years ago LOL. Anyway, your gut and intuition was right. Can you move departments easily?

I’ve gotten this “treatment “ from men and women alike.

It does no good to confront them.

I just end up leaving and praying for a better situation.

I am learning that the better situation is to be my own boss.

Posted by saggurl88

Sorry to hear this. What is the actual problems you are having with the bosses?

I learned a long time ago that I needed to work alone without a boss breathing down my neck. I can't stand being micro managed.

Thankfully I’m not micromanaged

I just get bitch-managed

Idk don’t trust that source because their motivation is not your best interest but theirs. It may suit their aspirations to drive a wedge between yourself and the boss.

Hear it from the horses mouth, otherwise it’s hearsay.

For all you know she avoided you because this same source told her you disliked her.

Ultimately tho the office gossip and politics is a major boner killer. Look for that greener pasture. This kinda stress is not worth a paycheck… any paycheck.

Don’t internalize someone’s shittyness as a reflection of yourself either. Plenty of people stuck in a toxic work environment and never demand better for themselves. You have the self awareness to set healthy boundaries and remove yourself from a situation that doesn’t serve you. That is a talent, not a negative ‘cycle’ you should assume as part of YOUR track record.

I've had a similar experience with my former boss. First he liked me and was really helpful after promotion.. But that slowly changed when I've become aware of inside politics, that was absolutely unacceptable for me and tried to change some things.

For example, gossip and employees spying on one another was at absolute high, my former boss encouraging it literally.. One mistake could have caused anyone to lose the job any minute. Of course no one, not a single human being will be able to last in this kind of stressful environment without losing mental stability.

I spoke up and questioned my boss himself, tried to change things for the better for employees. That caused my boss to completely shut me out, wouldn't acknowledge job well done, would ignore my existence completely, no small talk, no friendly exchanges. I was left alone with my work throughout the day, it was miserable indeed. I didn't expect what came afterwards tho.

So after some time I was called up in the office, in my mind I was certain that was a possible raise, oh how wrong I was. Soonest I stepped in I knew something unpleasant was about to come, because he addressed me as "mam" instead of my name. So he hands me "disciplinary action" and demotion on the grounds of poor performance, says he had found mistakes in my paperwork and he expected better from me. Then I asked for the proof, copies of my paperwork which he refuses to give me, saying he doesn't have it. Then hands me a pan and asks me to sign.

I refused to sign it, left the office and couple days later took the case to HR. Then he had a meeting I've heard and he had been in a bad mood all day, I'm suspecting he was warned.

After demotion I left the company in about 2 weeks and got another job with better paycheck and pleasant environment.

Posted by DMV

Posted by saggurl88

Sorry to hear this. What is the actual problems you are having with the bosses?

I learned a long time ago that I needed to work alone without a boss breathing down my neck. I can't stand being micro managed.

Thankfully I’m not micromanaged

I just get bitch-managed

click to expand

But what are the managers doing to you to make you think that they don't like you?

Different people doing the exact same thing to you has me a bit curious.

Are they just avoidant?

Do you have an intimidating personality in person?

It sucks that you feel this way. It's a terrible environment to be in. It's hard to wake up and go to a job that you don't feel comfortable at.

Edited- NVM Just read it all. WOW!!!! So sorry to hear about this. I would end up avoiding her ass and putting her on mute in my presence. But I'm toxic like that.

I ignore my boss all the time when she annoys me.

Posted by pisceanloves

I've had a similar experience with my former boss. First he liked me and was really helpful after promotion.. But that slowly changed when I've become aware of inside politics, that was absolutely unacceptable for me and tried to change some things.

For example, gossip and employees spying on one another was at absolute high, my former boss encouraging it literally.. One mistake could have caused anyone to lose the job any minute. Of course no one, not a single human being will be able to last in this kind of stressful environment without losing mental stability.

I spoke up and questioned my boss himself, tried to change things for the better for employees. That caused my boss to completely shut me out, wouldn't acknowledge job well done, would ignore my existence completely, no small talk, no friendly exchanges. I was left alone with my work throughout the day, it was miserable indeed. I didn't expect what came afterwards tho.

So after some time I was called up in the office, in my mind I was certain that was a possible raise, oh how wrong I was. Soonest I stepped in I knew something unpleasant was about to come, because he addressed me as "mam" instead of my name. So he hands me "disciplinary action" and demotion on the grounds of poor performance, says he had found mistakes in my paperwork and he expected better from me. Then I asked for the proof, copies of my paperwork which he refuses to give me, saying he doesn't have it. Then hands me a pan and asks me to sign.

I refused to sign it, left the office and couple days later took the case to HR. Then he had a meeting I've heard and he had been in a bad mood all day, I'm suspecting he was warned.

After demotion I left the company in about 2 weeks and got another job with better paycheck and pleasant environment.

That same scenario happened with a Virgo boss. Heard she was talking smack and I went to her as a professional. Didn’t do me no good. She complained and had me written up to HR. I refused to sign anything. I quit, she couldn’t have been happier and turns out she was embezzling finds.

I’ve never felt so vindicated.

After her mind fawkery, I took almost a year off and found myself right back into a toxic work environment. At least with this new place, i can easily move and jobs are plentiful. Hundreds

Posted by LadyNeptune

Idk don’t trust that source because their motivation is not your best interest but theirs. It may suit their aspirations to drive a wedge between yourself and the boss.

Hear it from the horses mouth, otherwise it’s hearsay.

For all you know she avoided you because this same source told her you disliked her.

Ultimately tho the office gossip and politics is a major boner killer. Look for that greener pasture. This kinda stress is not worth a paycheck… any paycheck.

Don’t internalize someone’s shittyness as a reflection of yourself either. Plenty of people stuck in a toxic work environment and never demand better for themselves. You have the self awareness to set healthy boundaries and remove yourself from a situation that doesn’t serve you. That is a talent, not a negative ‘cycle’ you should assume as part of YOUR track record.

Thank you for the reminder Not to internalize.

I don’t talk to my coworkers because after countless betrayals I’ve learned that coworkers are not your friends.

The lack of agency is what kills and frustrates me every time. These subordinate roles are not for me and people take advantage of me.

I’ve never looked at this cycle as a talent.

Very intriguing

Posted by DMV

I’ve never looked at this cycle as a talent.

Very intriguing

My first job out of college I worked for a large corporation as a designer. I also spent time in the brick and mortar locations and developed relationships with the old timers. People who had been working there 15+ years. They all talked mad crap on the company, hated their jobs, had no passion or drive, and just existed from day to day. But they never even thought about leaving. To stuck in the daily grind or too scared... idk.

I was only there around 2years but I observed that new people didn't make it past the 5 year mark, getting fed up and moving on to the next opportunity.

I learned a few years later that the top designer for the whole program left and they ended up taking huge loses and eventually shut the whole thing down.

She was amazing, selling several mill in store product easily per year. Many of the stores took losses each year and were just justified as locations to build the companies brand. Upper management would berate her for wearing "too short of shorts" or other bs reasons. And the whole corporate office was old white dudes so outta touch.

Working there was a huge learning experience that taught me to value my time and my worth.

So yes, moving on from a situation that doesn't serve your best interests is absolutely a talent! And its a rare one many people don't learn and settle to be a good worker bee, a number on a page.

Posted by DMV

I am learning that the better situation is to be my own boss.

*like*

Problem solved bae.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Idk don’t trust that source because their motivation is not your best interest but theirs. It may suit their aspirations to drive a wedge between yourself and the boss.

Hear it from the horses mouth, otherwise it’s hearsay.

For all you know she avoided you because this same source told her you disliked her. ...

*like*

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DMV

I’ve never looked at this cycle as a talent.

Very intriguing

My first job out of college I worked for a large corporation as a designer. I also spent time in the brick and mortar locations and developed relationships with the old timers. People who had been working there 15+ years. They all talked mad crap on the company, hated their jobs, had no passion or drive, and just existed from day to day. But they never even thought about leaving. To stuck in the daily grind or too scared... idk.

I was only there around 2years but I observed that new people didn't make it past the 5 year mark, getting fed up and moving on to the next opportunity.

I learned a few years later that the top designer for the whole program left and they ended up taking huge loses and eventually shut the whole thing down.

She was amazing, selling several mill in store product easily per year. Many of the stores took losses each year and were just justified as locations to build the companies brand. Upper management would berate her for wearing "too short of shorts" or other bs reasons. And the whole corporate office was old white dudes so outta touch.

Working there was a huge learning experience that taught me to value my time and my worth.

So yes, moving on from a situation that doesn't serve your best interests is absolutely a talent! And its a rare one many people don't learn and settle to be a good worker bee, a number on a page.

click to expand

Even more interesting, I’m at the 5 year mark

Posted by ATGR

Sounds pretty toxic. Could you move to a different company?

Yes. Lots of internal postings

Posted by Gobbie

Finding a good boss to work for, these days, isn't easy. However, based on the level of hostility you've mentioned, I can only conclude two possible reasons:

1) The business sector

2) You

Don't get me wrong, most people have issues with their bosses, but to the degree that you've outlined and with four consecutive superiors?

Just putting it out there.

I am absolutely a common denominator.

I am absolutely a shark and I swim alone.

2/4 terrible bosses were fired soon after I resigned.

I feel you! Hate when people can not not distinguish professional and personal.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Gobbie

Finding a good boss to work for, these days, isn't easy. However, based on the level of hostility you've mentioned, I can only conclude two possible reasons:

1) The business sector

2) You

Don't get me wrong, most people have issues with their bosses, but to the degree that you've outlined and with four consecutive superiors?

Just putting it out there.

I am absolutely a common denominator.

I am absolutely a shark and I swim alone.

2/4 terrible bosses were fired soon after I resigned.

click to expand

What going on do you complete your tasks in timely matter. Sometimes perception takes affect if your looking like your doing nothing or talking to people. It sucks but sometimes aside from

Putting good you have steer politics. Or get to the poont you don’t give a fuck what your boss thinks of you.

Posted by DMV

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DMV

I’ve never looked at this cycle as a talent.

Very intriguing

My first job out of college I worked for a large corporation as a designer. I also spent time in the brick and mortar locations and developed relationships with the old timers. People who had been working there 15+ years. They all talked mad crap on the company, hated their jobs, had no passion or drive, and just existed from day to day. But they never even thought about leaving. To stuck in the daily grind or too scared... idk.

I was only there around 2years but I observed that new people didn't make it past the 5 year mark, getting fed up and moving on to the next opportunity.

I learned a few years later that the top designer for the whole program left and they ended up taking huge loses and eventually shut the whole thing down.

She was amazing, selling several mill in store product easily per year. Many of the stores took losses each year and were just justified as locations to build the companies brand. Upper management would berate her for wearing "too short of shorts" or other bs reasons. And the whole corporate office was old white dudes so outta touch.

Working there was a huge learning experience that taught me to value my time and my worth.

So yes, moving on from a situation that doesn't serve your best interests is absolutely a talent! And its a rare one many people don't learn and settle to be a good worker bee, a number on a page.

Even more interesting, I’m at the 5 year mark

click to expand

Well there is no harm in looking at your options. Maybe this latest bs is the spark you needed to make a change.

Without knowing what you do for a living… is there a way you can translate your position/career to be an independent contractor and not have to deal with a manager or boss. Of course the caveat here is that all your clients become your bosses, but still. More freedom, less limitations and structure or oversight.

Even if it’s not instantaneous, but a vision to work towards.

When I became head of my department I envisioned a more flexible work environment where I invested time and energy and built trust with a few employees so that I could be more hands off and manage from afar. The goal ultimately being to work more from home instead of at a typical 9-5 office environment.

Entirely selfish reasons to strive for that life style but it’s paid off in a big way since covid came on the scene.

Posted by DMV

This is now 4th manager in a row who has it out for me.

I’m a little sad over this honestly. The Hire and Hate cycle is ridiculous. Especially since I didn’t ask for this role. They approached me and now homegirl can’t stand me.

I don’t know her sign. I do know that she self described herself as a shark which I loved because I feel the same way about myself. But I also knew what to look out for.

This problem is 100% real, too. I've observed it happening to colleagues in the past, and I've been the target of unrequited spite from bosses as well.

"Shark" is never a good thing, by the way. It describes someone that's overzealous, obsessive and usually phony in the workplace because they're constantly trying to impress people higher up the chain of command and stand out above peers. There's a lot of desperation involved, and they usually have God complexes.

This puts you in a compromising position, because she's just watching from her ivory tower, waiting for you to ph.uck up so she can find an excuse to throw the book at you.

She wants to get rid of you.

If switching departments is an option, I'd look into doing that. I don't think she's going to change her mind about you any time soon.