Why would someone ruin a friendship?

Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by Unwording

Posted by _Dazed

Person 1 is friends with Person 2.

Person 2 is friends with Person 3.

Person 1 and Person 3 don't really care for one another.

Person 1 purposefully tells Person 2 a hand full of lies to destroy the friendship between Person 2 and Person 3, assuming.. for their personal benefit.




I went through this same, exact situation in HS.

Person 1 was being territorial and paranoid.
click to expand



How does Person 3 repair the relationship with Person 2?
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by Endless

you say they told "a hand full of lies" wouldn't person 3 be able to point the truth, generally I would let's say "reciprocate" and equally destroy the friendship of person 1 with person 2 in a lowkey way, cuz leo can be vengeful.

and I'm good at making my case, with witnesses if necessary.


Person 3 would never purposefully ruin the friendship of two other people.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by Mariposa_

Posted by _Dazed

And how does Person 3 point out the manipulation of Person 1 and help rebuild their friendship between them and Person 2?


I would step back and let person 2 eventually see who person 1 truly is.

If person 1 really is manipulative, and dishonest, all will be revealed in it’s time. Don’t take it into your own hands.
click to expand



Thank you.
Profile picture of nikkistar
Lifelong Cat Lady
@nikkistar
8 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 7399 · Posts: 18799 · Topics: 84
The truth, usually always comes out.

There is a fine line of worrying about repairing the relationship, and going overboard with it. Most times, any friendship, regardless of what has happened, can be repaired after time passes. More often then not, people need time to reflect on everything in order to be rational. Hurt feelings usually make for emotional reactions that can take time to get over.

Explain you will always be there for them, and then let them have the proverbial ball in the court.
Profile picture of Endless
Endless
@Endless
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 573 · Posts: 1765 · Topics: 0
Posted by _Dazed

Posted by Endless

you say they told "a hand full of lies" wouldn't person 3 be able to point the truth, generally I would let's say "reciprocate" and equally destroy the friendship of person 1 with person 2 in a lowkey way, cuz leo can be vengeful.

and I'm good at making my case, with witnesses if necessary.

Person 3 would never purposefully ruin the friendship of two other people.
click to expand


well person 3 need to up their game.

good people die young, ask Jesus.

also I consider it helping person 1 by getting rid of their manipulative social circle, person 3 should help the world by getting rid of person 2 shenanigans.

wait, who was who

lmao
Profile picture of Jim_Joe_Bob_Applethorn
Jim_Joe_Bob_Applethorn
@Jim_Joe_Bob_Applethorn
6 Years

Comments: 998 · Posts: 331 · Topics: 8
Posted by _Dazed

Posted by Jim_Joe_Bob_Applethorn

Is it bad to be person 1 if person 3 is a complete asshole. Asking for a friend.


Say that is true... with the term "asshole" being highly subjective.

Is that justification to ruin a relationship you're not a part of?
click to expand



Let's say that person 3 is an asshole because they were slinging shit first, and person 1 knew, which is different than what you're asking.

I get what you're on about though. People do petty shit.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by MademoiselleFisk

If person 2 has no reason to mistrust either people and is not the gullible type, they would likely give P3 the benefit of the doubt and see P1 for what they are. HOWEVER, if there is a pattern of behavior that would lead P2 to believe what P1 had said, it will be an uphill battle for P3 to win back P2's trust.


I don't believe that to be the case.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by MissKrabs

oh and since the person 2 was so ready to believe in lies, means they already had a bad opinion of person 3 for some time.


I don't believe Person 2 has EVER had a negative opinion of Person 3.

then either person 1 is a master of manipulation, or person 2 hid it well.

if a person 2 is really just naive, they would want to talk.
click to expand



I'm gonna go with Person 1 being a master manipulator.
Profile picture of justagirl
SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 6657 · Posts: 25221 · Topics: 77
Posted by _Dazed

Person 1 is friends with Person 2.

Person 2 is friends with Person 3.

Person 1 and Person 3 don't really care for one another.

Person 1 purposefully tells Person 2 a hand full of lies to destroy the friendship between Person 2 and Person 3, assuming.. for their personal benefit.



When you find this out, please explain it to me. From my past experience dealing with something similar- All I I could sort out was it was pettiness.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by nanobot

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nanobot

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nanobot

So this was about elle blocking you


No.


Sure. Why don't you talk to her/them about it though. No one knows the exact context of this situation and I don't think this thread will help.


Is DXP not a place to bounce ideas around with one another? You're always willing to throw in your 2 cents regardless.


Need more info, this seems like a gross over simplification of the issue. You're 3, she's 2? Why can't 2 see through the alleged overt lies of 1
click to expand



It's over simplified, because I do not have all of the details. Again.. a real life situation, but not one I'm personally involved in.

The question was asked of me.. I ask DXP.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by nanobot

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nanobot

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nanobot

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nanobot

So this was about elle blocking you


No.


Sure. Why don't you talk to her/them about it though. No one knows the exact context of this situation and I don't think this thread will help.


Is DXP not a place to bounce ideas around with one another? You're always willing to throw in your 2 cents regardless.


Need more info, this seems like a gross over simplification of the issue. You're 3, she's 2? Why can't 2 see through the alleged overt lies of 1


It's over simplified, because I do not have all of the details. Again.. a real life situation, but not one I'm personally involved in.

The question was asked of me.. I ask DXP.


Person 1 and 2 are closer, as 2 chose to believe 1 over 3. Nothing can be done without proof. Person 2 will have to figure out on their own what is the truth. Probs at the expense of friendship with 3.
click to expand



See now.. was that so hard?
Profile picture of tctaap
tctaap
@tctaap
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3863 · Posts: 2108 · Topics: 3
Posted by _Dazed

Posted by Unwording

Posted by _Dazed

Person 1 is friends with Person 2.

Person 2 is friends with Person 3.

Person 1 and Person 3 don't really care for one another.

Person 1 purposefully tells Person 2 a hand full of lies to destroy the friendship between Person 2 and Person 3, assuming.. for their personal benefit.




I went through this same, exact situation in HS.

Person 1 was being territorial and paranoid.


How does Person 3 repair the relationship with Person 2?
click to expand



just beat the shit out of Person 1 - case closed
Profile picture of tctaap
tctaap
@tctaap
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3863 · Posts: 2108 · Topics: 3
Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.
click to expand



this might be true on the surface and one would think that - matter of fact I would be one of them to agree - but then again, when there is someone charming that is manipulating it can stir up emotions and some people find it difficult to deal; as well, some people think they are close when in fact they are not - true story - it happened to me a few times in my life - turned out that person who I thought was my best friend of 40 years wasn't really a friend at all - surprise !

Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by shakedown

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.


I have to disagree.


How come? If the person had no tangible evidence to back up his or her claims, then why would your friend believe that person over you?
click to expand



Fabricated "evidence" is all I can think of.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by shakedown

Posted by tctaap

Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.


this might be true on the surface and one would think that - matter of fact I would be one of them to agree - but then again, when there is someone charming that is manipulating it can stir up emotions and some people find it difficult to deal; as well, some people think they are close when in fact they are not - true story - it happened to me a few times in my life - turned out that person who I thought was my best friend of 40 years wasn't really a friend at all - surprise !




That's exactly my point and Lady Neptune's as well.
click to expand



I mean as in faked/photo-shopped screenshots of text messages.
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by JustBrowsing

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by shakedown

Posted by tctaap

Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.


this might be true on the surface and one would think that - matter of fact I would be one of them to agree - but then again, when there is someone charming that is manipulating it can stir up emotions and some people find it difficult to deal; as well, some people think they are close when in fact they are not - true story - it happened to me a few times in my life - turned out that person who I thought was my best friend of 40 years wasn't really a friend at all - surprise !




That's exactly my point and Lady Neptune's as well.


I mean as in faked/photo-shopped screenshots of text messages.


That takes a lot of effort. What's the endgame of person 1?
click to expand



To sow discord between Person 2 and Person 3 as to eliminate Person 3 from the picture?
Profile picture of _Dazed
Dazed
@_Dazed
6 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 9549 · Posts: 12626 · Topics: 250
Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.


This coming from someone that likes to speak out against grooming and manipulation. GTFO


Are you telling us that person 2 is underage and being manipulated by person 1?

If so you shoulda mentioned.
click to expand



You don't have to be underage in order to be manipulated.
Profile picture of tctaap
tctaap
@tctaap
7 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3863 · Posts: 2108 · Topics: 3
Posted by shakedown

Posted by tctaap

Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.


this might be true on the surface and one would think that - matter of fact I would be one of them to agree - but then again, when there is someone charming that is manipulating it can stir up emotions and some people find it difficult to deal; as well, some people think they are close when in fact they are not - true story - it happened to me a few times in my life - turned out that person who I thought was my best friend of 40 years wasn't really a friend at all - surprise !




That's exactly my point and Lady Neptune's as well.
click to expand



oh - right - ok, so not sure where I was going with all that = nevermind lol ... it's awful when the person propagating things was a friend of a long . long time and they are so convinced by others charms ... I didn't blame her the first few times but when she interfered in my marriage because my husband was whining to her about me and then they both started whining about me it was soooo over lol
Profile picture of LadyNeptune
LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by _Dazed

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.


This coming from someone that likes to speak out against grooming and manipulation. GTFO


Are you telling us that person 2 is underage and being manipulated by person 1?

If so you shoulda mentioned.


You don't have to be underage in order to be manipulated.
click to expand



Well being underage is kinda in the definition of being groomed.

Being underaged makes it easier for one to be manipulated by an adult.

Since all parties are, I assume, of age then your point is lost on me.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by shakedown

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.



This is true.
click to expand



Yeah if person 2 really cares about the friendship they would confirm the gossip person 1 is speaking and confront person 3 about it.

If they choose instead to fade to black then they were only a fair weather friend all along.
Profile picture of LadyNeptune
LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by gemNi

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by LadyNeptune

If a third party can come in and 'ruin' your friendship then you were never that close to begin with. Duh.


This coming from someone that likes to speak out against grooming and manipulation. GTFO


Are you telling us that person 2 is underage and being manipulated by person 1?

If so you shoulda mentioned.


You don't have to be underage in order to be manipulated.


Well being underage is kinda in the definition of being groomed.

Being underaged makes it easier for one to be manipulated by an adult.

Since all parties are, I assume, of age then your point is lost on me.






Ohhh the garbage to garbage games he plays..

What a 💩'ty scum.
click to expand



He stays trying. Practicing that reach.