Capricorn Moon and Mother/Parents

1) Cap moons have strained relationship with mother but identify more with father...FACT: my grandfather was my most consistent, trustworthy, "there" parental figure, despite being a grandparent and a man.

2) Cap moons had security but emotional coldness or criticism or were forced to grow up too fast....FACT: my grandparents had a house with a huge yard and I had a nice comfortable middle class existence of security, but with very strict, relatively undemonstrative people who pushed me to excel. Look great, make great grades, wear nice clothes, don't make mistakes, I even started working at 16, and I was interestingly *not* "forced" to grow up too fast...I WANTED to work at sixteen, my grandfather actually tried to argue with me like "WTF??" but I wanted my own money and had strange dreams of being a waitress. I also had a distant relationship with my Aquarius mother, though she loved me and I like her as a person, as a mother figure, she was NOT stable or secure, which are things Cappy moons value, which lowered my opinion of her as a parent, I felt like she failed for much of my life, something I only reconciled as an adult.

So...do Cap Moons actually not get enough love somehow as children? I've heard its a terrible placement for the Moon, though Capricorn Moon can find joy in true emotional responsibility.

A lot of people viewed me as spoiled by my grandfather (because of the money) and my mother and sisters are actually loving people, but I always felt like something was emotionally missing in my childhood.

Posted by Kalean
I identify more with my mum, as she's the one that brought me and my brother up haha. I do feel loved, but when i was younger she was the one that had to work because she had no financial support from my dad and at times i felt neglected.I'd say that infact, there's issues with me and my dad. I'm not spoilt and i come from a working class background.

So with you it was a matter of neglect? Not intentional, but as a matter of circumstance.

I know that my grandfather loved me in an almost crazy way, he saw me as his chance to redeem himself for whatever mistakes he made with his children, like the grandchild he raised was the final chance to be a perfect parent, so he really really did try to give me EVERYTHING. He was also very protective, and possessive, like he acted sometimes like he didn't want me to go live with my mother, even when she wanted me to, so I always chose him. I knew he wanted me to stay, that he discouraged me from living with her because she was unstable and the father of my three younger sisters did not like me (at the time, he apologized to me when I was about 25 for being a jackass) because I was another man's child. I also knew my grandfather would give me the nicest life he possibly could.

He showed me love in the ways he knew how, but it's no replacement for a mother. My mother figures shifted, with my hardly-ever-there real mom, my grandmother dying when I was six, and my grandfather's subsequent wife being an iron-clad bitch-face.

No one meant to neglect me. My mother always told me she loved me and sent me gifts. My grandfather tried to give me the world, he just was a really kind of a quiet, undemonstrative person who showed love by presence and responsibility and protectiveness rather than being extremely affectionate or emo.

I don't think anyone MEANT to hurt me. I think I somehow though ended up being an adult who carried a coldness in me, and almost like I'm still looking for it to be fixed. My grandfather was like that too, interestingly enough, he obviously carried a cold spot in himself. We always had this weird empathetic connection, like I could tell when he was sad, even if he wasn't crying.

It's almost like in a weird way my grandfather was my mother-figure and I internalized a lot of his traits. Like a baby kitten raised by a dog or something. You know? Instead of a momma cat...I had a St. Bernard.

Yeah, that was one description of Capricorn moon that I never understood - the conflict with parents (mother).

I had a fun childhood, and I know I was spoiled 🙂 I have the best parents, and I couldn't wish for any others.

My mom's Aquarius too 🙂 Dad's a Libra

Posted by Wynter
Yeah, that was one description of Capricorn moon that I never understood - the conflict with parents (mother).

I had a fun childhood, and I know I was spoiled 🙂 I have the best parents, and I couldn't wish for any others.

So do you experience your Capricorn moon in any way at all? I'm really curious about this, you're basically saying you had a perfect childhood.

Do you ever feel as an adult that one or both of your parents need more from you than you can give? I've read that too, that Capricorn moon can just feel like a parent has emotional needs or wants things from you can't give them?

I think the key for me is realizing there is no shortage of love and there never was. I was always loved, loved as much as I could be, but for some reason I expected to be loved ...in a particular way? Or something.

I just think that's the universal solution to the "cold spot" though, for Capricorn moons who may feel that cold spot, or hole...in my case that's what I felt. Like there wasn't enough love. I've talked to a male Capricorn moon though (who also has a lot of other Capricorn placements) and for him the problem seems to be feeling things himself and expressing things he feels.

He appears to have a problem with giving.

I have a problem with believing I'm getting what I need or what I deserve.

But there's no shortage of love. Anywhere. This illusion of lack, what is this?

Does any other Cap moon understand this?

I should also explain here that Capricorn opposes the Moon. If you didn't already know that. That's why it's like "eek horrible placement."

But it can't be some kind of lifelong curse, I mean there must be some way to reconcile it. I think for me at least the answer is believing there is enough love, in the universe, in the world, that I can love myself and love other people without some kind of gripping fear that there won't be enough love.

God that's a weird thing to type out.

I remember when I met my Libra ex (who has a Pisces moon) he was like, "what is your deal?" I was a lot colder back then. I didn't realize it of course. I was not unlike someone else I know, just that I was younger, and I subconsciously put myself into relationships that would not work. I always wanted that which was unobtainable. My Libra ex actually taught me to give and receive love, to actually allow myself to be vulnerable and love someone who could give real love in return. In his way, of course, he also had his issues.

I wonder how common that is, too. Cap moons either subconsciously setting themselves up to fail in relationships - by the choices they make, things they're bringing on to themselves - because they secretly feel safer alone, until someone changes it. Or maybe even that they hate people who love them because they can't love themselves fully, because of the feeling of lack of love.

And what if someone never changes it for them. I think you have to want it to change.

I had a great childhood!!! My parents were always there for me and I felt loved. My mom (Sag) was a stay at home mom and although we had the normal fights, we are very close and I think she is the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met. Sometimes her Saginess drives me crazy, but we have always had a very good relationship. My aries dad was tough on me. I realize now he wanted me to have better opportunities and a better life than he did. I was expected to make A's, stay out of trouble, don't get a reputation, don't get talked about - usual stuff, I suppose. I had a job when I was 16 because I wanted my own money and that's the only reason. My parents gave me what I needed.

I was a serious kid - kind of a super achiever and seemed more like a grown up than most kids my age. True cappy style , I'm getting sillier and more relaxed as I grow older!

Yes, that's the main problem is that my grandparents were strict disciplinarians, and perhaps by virtue of being Gemini or maybe because of my more emo watery Scorpio ascendant I interpreted their strictness as not being lovey-dovey enough or something. But I was actually very much loved, objectively. My grandfather was extremely protective, and my mother calls me all the time and tells me she misses me.

Even truecap is up there saying that his dad was a hard-ass.

And Sangfroid, you're saying you had a mentally absent and unreliable mother.

I don't think Capricorn moon means "bad childhood." I didn't have a bad childhood, in some ways I had a better childhood than a lot of people, and my perception of lack of open displays of emotion probably have to do with being raised by my strict grandparents instead of by my flaky, unstable but more emotionally demonstrative mother.

I wonder if your other placements have an impact on how things are perceived.

I should also add here that I idealize the time that my grandmother was alive, like the first six years of my life, and its part of the reason why I love 80s music so much, because it reminds me of being a small child, I'm only in my early 30s, its not like I was a teenager then or something.

Actually a lot of the coldness I perceive that more in my later childhood, and I think that had to do with how things changed after my grandmother died, including moving away from where my mother lived when I was 9.

You know what? That was my "growing up too fast." The first six or eight years of my life I was totally spoiled and happy, for the most part, except for my grandmother dying.

My growing up too fast was in an emotional sense. People in my extended family, and even my own mother, talk about me being a "little adult."

It was because of the strictness of my grandparents, and also how intellectual I've always been, I learned to read before I even started kindergarten.

That's where all of this emotional stuff comes in, my "growing up too fast" was emotional, like I felt like nurturing was snatched away from me too soon.

And Capricorn opposing the Moon...Cancer and the Moon literally represent nurturing, if not the actual mother.

I think I just figured it out, at least for my own life.

Wow

1) Cap moons have strained relationship with mother but identify more with father
2) Cap moons had security but emotional coldness or criticism or were forced to grow up too fast

Chillingly accurate. I never felt extremely close with my mother emotionally, even though i think she is a strong person and kept the family together through the years. A few years ago when i was depressed i kept asking her if she held me enough when i was young, i must not have felt like she was there at times when i wanted her to be there....but she is very loving so it confuses me.
I identify much more with my father and view him as a more "emotional" person. When i was born my parents had financial issues which caused fighting (reflected by my libra sun/cap moon exact square). I also took on a parental role with my younger sister. There is a video of us when we are young where i tell her she can't have dessert until after dinner...lol...discipline started early.

How very interesting. I have been watching for a Cap moon thread to come up, and here it is.

I have a friend who is a Cap moon. She describes having to be more mature than her chronological age from early on. The emotional distance of the parents, dead on. It wasn't that they didn't care, but it was not an easy time for her growing up. Lots of moving around, being unsettled, a real sense of insecurity.

I am very talented at reading people, I really am. Having said that, I simply can not get a real good read on her, or at least not consistently. She covers up, dodges, bobs and weaves with a great deal of skill. I can't say she is trying to be deceiving, but rather she is evasive and hidden. She simply does not want at least me to get all that close. As I say, how very interesting!

My capricorn moon is afflicted (sun Aries, moon cap, jupiter cancer t square, tight aspects within degrees and minutes). My relationship with my mother is deeply painful. She is cold and distant, always said I was too needy and clingy growing up and that she resented taking care of me. She wanted us to switch roles. She preferred that I take care of her. I picked out her clothes. Gave her advice. Was her emotional support when she had her break downs. She would always lean on me when she was single, then shut me out when she found a new boyfriend (double libra, asc aquarius, 8th house stellium) When i was 12, I finally got sick of it and left her to live with my father. My father is the complete opposite of her, I definitely identify with him more. Our birthdays are also 3 days apart. He was re-married to a triple capricorn, who was also an emotionally distant mother figure, (but much more responsible, then my mother). I got my first job at 14, working during recess break at a snack shop at my high school. I wanted to work because I liked the responsibility. I was a straight A student and an athlete, but only with my father who provided the consistency and structure I needed.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's the cap moon traits that influence our relationship with our parents, rather than the other way around. I'm heavily influenced by my cap moon and had a very emotionally unstable mom (Gem) and strict but loving dad (Virgo).

I remember as a young child being very attached to my mom, however with her dealing with emotional highs/lows, I began to detach in my pre-teens. I was always a daddy's girl, even though he often gave the impression that I could always do better.

We were given a very comfortable and grounded life, but I never felt like a) I was totally accepted for who I was, and b) I was given the kind of love I needed. But I'm not sure that either of those is particularly realistic, given that people are who they are and not perfect.

My parents showed love the way they could. I think my cap moon understands that but doesn't really accept it. Even though I know logically that no one can really give us everything we want or need, I still feel as though I could have gotten more (or different). I still wonder though, if that would have made any difference.

My Aries best friend has a Cap moon. She was close to her mother. Her mother raised her. Her mother was a Cap sun. They did fight quite a bit, and sometimes her mother would say hurtful things that my friend tried to brush off, but the fact that she brought them up was a sign that I caught on to that it did upset her. Other that the occasional quarrels, they were fine. Her mother passed two years ago. My friend found her 12 hours later....so I would say that was detrimental. She was then forced to move house to house, because no one would keep her. She first lived with her mother's best friend who stole her money and whose daughter stole her belongings. she then moved in with her alcoholic uncle who at first was fine but later began to abuse her. She quickly left and lived with her ex boyfriend...that ended too. She then was forced to move in with her grandma and that is where she currently resides. She has had a very difficult life. She's 21. I think all of these events caused her to grow up much faster than she was ready.

My Aqua friend has a Cap moon. He once bought his mother an expensive purse for either her birthday or a holiday. I can't remember as it was awhile ago. He complained to me and another of our friends saying he bought it and she said "yes but it isn't such and such brand". You could tell this upset him as he was trying to be nice by getting her the gift in the first place. I could tell he felt she was very unappreciative and maybe all he wanted was her appreciation in this instance. Other than that he gets along with her from what I can tell. He doesn't always bring up his family too often but he does occasionally.

Posted by Marmotini
1) Cap moons have strained relationship with mother but identify more with father...FACT: my grandfather was my most consistent, trustworthy, "there" parental figure, despite being a grandparent and a man.

2) Cap moons had security but emotional coldness or criticism or were forced to grow up too fast....FACT: my grandparents had a house with a huge yard and I had a nice comfortable middle class existence of security, but with very strict, relatively undemonstrative people who pushed me to excel. Look great, make great grades, wear nice clothes, don't make mistakes, I even started working at 16, and I was interestingly *not* "forced" to grow up too fast...I WANTED to work at sixteen, my grandfather actually tried to argue with me like "WTF??" but I wanted my own money and had strange dreams of being a waitress. I also had a distant relationship with my Aquarius mother, though she loved me and I like her as a person, as a mother figure, she was NOT stable or secure, which are things Cappy moons value, which lowered my opinion of her as a parent, I felt like she failed for much of my life, something I only reconciled as an adult.

So...do Cap Moons actually not get enough love somehow as children? I've heard its a terrible placement for the Moon, though Capricorn Moon can find joy in true emotional responsibility.

A lot of people viewed me as spoiled by my grandfather (because of the money) and my mother and sisters are actually loving people, but I always felt like something was emotionally missing in my childhood.

All of this is false for me. I have a great relationship with my parents. I got plenty of love and had a wonderful childhood.

Yeah, I had and sometimes still have problems with my parents but that was purely because I was an uncontrollable child myself.

So it's probably not always the parents, mine are amazing. Only thing is that they weren't / aren't very stable themselves.

I'm a Capricorn moon. I grew up being extremely cold, could not understand emotional behaviour although I have very deep emotions but I don't just know how to express and seeing other people do it confuses me a lot. My mother is a Taurus, and came across to me very stable, strict, practical and emotionally unavailable (emotionally deficient in my childish eyes). I saw her as she the headstrong, independent, never present, head of the family. My dad on the other hand is a pisces who was addicted to cigarettes and smoked marijuana... I was so attached to my dad and he was very domestic... Was out of work for most of my childhood... I loved my dad so much and with my Sun in sagittarius, he fed my desire to learn, he seemed to know everything, he understood complex things and was just so present... He was my God. But then my parents separated and I've realised that I was deeeply affected... I don't talk to my dad, I can't call him. I try very hard not to be like him... Very hard to develop my mother's practical qualities and I and my mother never saw eye to eye throughout my early and mid adolescence... But since I became 19 I've been trying to understand her more and more and my love for her has been growing. I should mention that I'm a Taurus ascendant, 4 other planets in Capricorn which my moon conjuncts and I have no water signs

The coldest moon.

Posted by Wynter
Yeah, that was one description of Capricorn moon that I never understood - the conflict with parents (mother).

I had a fun childhood, and I know I was spoiled 🙂 I have the best parents, and I couldn't wish for any others.

I have a capricorn moon and I didnt feel much love from either parents as a child 😢

I’m an Aries sun, cap moon

My mom is a Gemini sun and aqua moon

She is a good person, but not exactly nurturing. At least with me. She was better with my brother. My brother is aqua sun and Aries Moon (I think)

My boy is a Cap moon and he ain't got no problem showing emotion, as long as he feels safe around you. If you think Cap moons are the coldest, you've obviously never met an Aqua mooner.

I have. It ain't pretty.

Yes, all of the above. I'm far from cold. I am a bit reserved with strangers unless it's a real tragedy, then IDGAF what other people think. Cap Moons are known to have difficult childhoods in some respect. I'm not going to go on about mine again. LOL

Posted by tctao
Yes, all of the above. I'm far from cold. I am a bit reserved with strangers unless it's a real tragedy, then IDGAF what other people think. Cap Moons are known to have difficult childhoods in some respect. I'm not going to go on about mine again. LOL

Awwwww honey, come 'ere! This Virgo moon has plenty of hugs for multiple Cap moonies.

"1) Cap moons have strained relationship with mother but identify more with father

2) Cap moons had security but emotional coldness or criticism or were forced to grow up too fast"

Both points are true for me, the relationship with mother very cold but also very unhealthy however this is more due to my moon in cap square my pluto in scorpio.