fairyland (Page 3)

your appreciation for my honesty means a lot to me because your questions lead in to a nightmare, and i'm not running, but decided to stay and go there with you...

that's just how bad it is...

now a thing about me:

i sometimes think that i'm a freak, because i have never ever been unfaithful to anyone!!!! and i start finding this unnatural because all of my close friends, who are loyal and faithful to their partners, have cheated at some point in their life. similar to your experience, it was only once, even like ages ago, and it was a horrible experience. but they have made that experience and i have never, although there was plenty of opportunities for me. the worst thing about this is though, that i can't feel good about it, and i certainly don't think i'm a better person than anyone else, because i do fancy other women... u get the picture

btw, i don't consider our conversation cheating... but it's my feelings for you that get me in trouble, make me feel guilty. all very confusing right now...
that's what i meant earlier on when i said i was confused, or you confused me... but it's not you really, it's me, because of you...

What's bad...the fact that you and I are chatting, or the situation with you and your g-friend? Just confused, not trying to pry. I don't know if what we are doing is harmless, but if I were your g-friend, I would be upset. I define cheating as something you do, when you know it's wrong. But I don't know your situation...however, you said you were feeling bad.

As far as the honesty goes...I don't judge...no need to run away. I, too, am enjoying our conversation.

it's the questions you're asking, because they reveal things that i don't really want to be confronted with, but still i'm not running but staying, and will try to answer your questions as honest as i can. a choice i consciously make!

ha! i have something for you, yeah strike back!!!!

now imagine you're in a long term relationship and you discover strong feelings towards another person, however that might happen!!! now, ha! would that be cheating in your eyes, because this would be something you feel is wrong?

than cheating would be things that we can influence, like having a one night stand or an affair or as you say the way i chat with you now, but ALSO feelings that come up, that we can not influence... only because we know it's wrong to have them while committed to our partner. that would be cruel really.

whooaaaa...now you are moving way too fast for me! I never described cheating as disovering strong feelings for someone (you can't help that), I described it as someone doing something that they KNOW, they probably shouldn't do, such as us chatting. You know that your partner would be upset, yet you are doing it, anyway. Of course, I would be sad if you decided not to, anymore, but I would understand. I guess I'm asking because what happens when/if we do become attached more than we would want...then what? How do we stop? How does any couple stop from coming together, knowing it's wrong?

ok

wow, no ocean wide enough for you?

What do you mean?

literally, the atlantic ocean

i don't have the answers ... not right now! i just know that i feel horrible now... i just don't have answers.... not satisfying ones anyway, and certainly not any that don't sound like lame excuses. it's a real bad conflict.

As far as the next question, "...you fell in love!" I was only reiterating what you said, "we only fell in love." I assumed you were only kidding. But, YOU said it...just going w/ the flow.

"just going w/ the flow." is that really true?

It is hard to come up w/ the right answers. But you have no idea how much I admire you for not giving any lame excuses..."you are making quite the impression"

No ocean is wide enough. You are correct.

""just going w/ the flow." is that really true?" Yes, why?

i thought, you were either not being honest on that one or i must have fooled you really badly.... i must have fooled you then...

it does take a lot more than exchanging a few posts on the internet to fall in love with someone, mind you, but if you were serious about "...you fell in love!", well somehow i wouldn't have objected, you could call it that, in a light playful way, still not kidding though....

..."you are making quite the impression"

you're beginning to heal my wounds, thank you!!! but i have to retreat now, it still hurts pretty bad.

that was quite a ride, very special 🙂

will see you tomorrow—

K...now I'm confused. "we only fell in love." When you said that, I assumed you were joking. "...you fell in love!", when I said that, I was only joking...you know...going w/ the flow. I don't believe we are in love...hahahahahahha. It takes a little more than this, like you said...just had to clear that up. I hope you don't think I'm some crazy stalker. There is no ocean wide enough...in regards to whatever it is I want. You didn't fool me, unless you WERE serious. Then I would be confused.

"you're beginning to heal my wounds, thank you!!! but i have to retreat now, it still hurts pretty bad." Don't understand. My mind has been in 1000 places today, I'm sorry, but please elaborate b/4 we "stop the car"

"you're beginning to heal my wounds, thank you!!! just felt good hearing that!

because i'm confused and feel horrible, because i?haven't got those answers.

and i'm retreating = closing it for today because i need time to think it through = heal my wounds completely.

excuse my cheesy/imaginative language, didn't mean to scare you.

and no, never even thought of you as "some crazy stalker"

i'm really confused, not only your mind has been in 1000 places today!!!

don't stop the car......

LOL, i suggest we start with a lighter topic next time we chat, before we get to the heavy part.

like:

how are you today and is the weather nice where you are....

sorry just me being foolish, really foolish!

yes, yes, yes...stop the car. We shall continue tomorrow. We'll start off on a lighter note...some intense things going on in the vehicle today, I'm sorry. Tomorrow?

Wow...we both typed the last two posts at the same time...hehe

are you nuts? you "some crazy stalker"—

still can't get over the fact you said that... suggesting i was maybe thinking that of you........

I dunno...I was confused. I didn't want to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

yes, you were, my young apprentice!
confused, you were, very confused!!! LOL
🙂

... but the thing is: i confused you, didn't mean to though...

and now i'm really going.

tired!

No fair...I want to laugh, too!! "The lion threw a tantrum, and sat in the corner of her den!"

Just kidding. I have to run an errand. I hope we can chat tomorrow...have a great evening.

Ciao

awww...I hope I didn't scare you away, lizard. But if you are still healing your wounds, I understand. Hope to hear from ya!

yep, still hurting badly, but not paying too much attention to it!

didn't post before you - that was plain manipulative, lol, no, rather calculating ?

now let me explain:

i'm going slightly mad here, so i had to wait for your post first, just to prove to myself that i could do it, that i'm still in control of my feelings... don't worry, still feeling for you, just not going crazy! been busy @ work, too...

and no, you didn't scare me away! how could you? remember, i'm my worst enemy, not you... you're asking all the right questions, i just don't have the answers...

but hey, we wanted to start light today and i'm spoiling it already. just still charged from yesterday.....

now a light question for ya:

what is it you work? your profession, your education etc.? and tell me about how you live, too, what you do in your spare time and so on...

now be the self-centered lady you are and just chat on about yourself - i'm ?anxiously awaiting?!!!

I thought this was a "pet forum?"

NO, Freebird...it's not a pet forum anymore...sorry.

Oh....my bad - now I see - we gots Lizards and Scorpions! 😉

Truthseeker...are you seeking out whether this pet is truthfully a Lizard or a Scorpion?

I know how to play the role of "self-centeredness" very well. Here goes:

I'm 24. I live in Arlington, Virginia. I work at George Washington University in Washington, DC. I work in the their Office of Government, International and Corporate Affairs. I'm getting ready to start grad school (my BA is in Political Science). I will either get my Master's in International Education or International Development Studies. Not quite sure, but I can start taking classes, b/4 I'm admitted to any program, to see if I like it (One of the perks of working for a University). What I want to be when I grow up...well, besides being someone who is feared and admired at the same time, I see myself working for a non-profit, concentrating on peace and conflict resolution in Africa. I have two older sisters, one neice (precious) and nephew (bad. Mom is a scorp, dad is a pisces. In my spare time, I like to work out, read and write...oh yeah, and drink! (don't worry, I'm not a drunk). I think my partying days have simmered down. That's ok, i'm discovering new things now. Anything else you want to know?

hahahahahahahah............., i knew this would happen, hahahahah....
confusing people already, ey, are we—

sorry freebird, didn't know where else to go to....
do you mind—

besides, aren't lions and scorps pats— well at least lions can be, when they're in the mood, mind.....

... erm ... what bathroom tissue—?

hahahahhaha...the cheap kind!

I feel that this bird may have landed in unwanted territory...she will fly onward looking for another place to land...don't mind me - was just looking for some worms to eat.

Lions and Lizards and Scorps OH MY! 😉

spending money on other things ey?

Well, when you live by yourself, you have economize...hahahahha...although, I only buy the cheap soft kind...not the cheap hard kind.

talk to QBONE!

he's going to africa to work there without payment.... or so he said... for a year or so ... living right in the bushes, where there's no civilization, i.e. no internet access.

he's saying bye to his friends on dxpnet. i think the thread is "ehhh".

Thanks for the look out...

what you mean living by your self—— you've got this lunatic talking to you on the net every single day.....

hahahah...I physically live in an appt. by myself. Who is this lunatic you are referring? I tell ya, if I ever run into this lunatic...I'd give him a hug!

thanx

🙂

Speaking of lunatics...my ex aries e-mailed me yesterday...just to say hello. Curious, why? We broke up a month ago. I've pretty much given him my ass to kiss since then. He's e-mailed me three times, each time 2-3 weeks a part. Why does he do this? You are a man, maybe you can shed some light.

we're all human and different, right?

to be honest, i believe that you can evaluate him and the situation far better than me from that distance, because you're there, you speak to him, you know exactly the background ..... etc.

i can make assumptions though, if that's of any help:

he has a guilty conscience, and he is way into you... probably was too selfish/lazy/or simply too much of a coward to be there for you during the hard times. and now you're over the hard times he wants you back, wants those benefits again without having to work and earn them...

i guess i'm too much emotionally attached to make a fair-minded judgment... jealous... i know it's stupid...lol... fighting that feeling already....

... just figured, i might do the same to you as the ram did, if you give me "your ass to kiss" for that.... i'd like that... though, on second thought, i haven't seen your most certainly beautiful back yet......

*just a kinky moment*

If your assumption is right on...I'm scared. I know in my mind that I can't be with this guy, my heart couldn't bear it, I'm not strong enough. I had this conversation w/ God last night (not to preach or anything), I asked questions like "Why do I feel this way when He TOTALLY showed me his true colors?" I must be a masochist, or something. It's ridiculous. He gave me the reality check I never thought I would recieve...and I certainly wasn't prepared for it. What should I do? I want to ignore him, but I keep thinking why hold a grudge? Then it's like, I must be crazy to want to keep in my life...he is nothing but negative energy. Then it's like, maybe I can help him realize his negativity, and help him be more positve...What the fukc, Lizard. I'm crazy...that's the answer...I'm crazy!

Lizard...don't be jealous. c'mon, I don't want you feeling any type of way, except chatty. You have your life in Germany, I have mine here...and we are enjoying each others company. It's wonderful...let it be just that.

i need a promise of you: promise me to always put our chat second while you're at work! i know you do and you should, but sometimes people get carried away, especially with some things we discuss. i'm only concerned because i noticed how much energy it can suck from you, energy you need to cope with real life....