Attention Whores

So I've been thinking.....what do attention whores gain? You know these people...they create drama for drama's sake, and it seems they are never satisfied. They must be the center of everyone's universe, and despise those who won't accommodate them.

As the attention is never enough, what is the motivation to keep doing this? Why do people intentionally create a chaotic life for themselves? Is it because peace and tranquility make them feel stagnant or bored? Is it so they can constantly play the victim and receive sympathy when they have fucked up yet another relationship?

And the title is Attention Wh0res. 😛

Not sure why it's showing up as bad english even with my filter off. Fucking censorship.

Boredom?

I dunno I guess some people get off on it, or it gives them a chance to prove something to themselves and others.

LOL@haffo. Actually, I despise attention. Mostly because I only get it from people I DON'T want it from. 🙂

Sometimes, I think it is just boredom, Thetis! The school of thought on this behavior is it's motivated by deep insecurities, but I don't believe that's true in every case.

I think some people just need to have some kind of drama going on all the time so they don't have to examine what's really lacking in their own life. Maybe?

"The school of thought on this behavior is it's motivated by deep insecurities, but I don't believe that's true in every case."

Completely agree, most will say that people seek attention because they are lacking in something and seek attention from others as a way of looking for approval - but as you said I don't believe that's always the case.

I know genuinely confident people who are such drama queens it's unbelievable - if they are not centre of attention they will stomp and create such a fuss until they are.

Attention is attention, even when it's negative - sort of reminiscent of a child lacking in attention misbehaving and despite being smacked will continue to demonstrate the same bad behaviour because while it's not nice they are still receiving the attention they crave.

For the record I don't believe in smacking children - I believe there are far better and more effective ways to discipline a child.

I think it comes from not being understood.

Thinking about arguments or disagreements you have with another person, it usually starts over a mis-understanding, which leaves you to scream ..

"That's not what I said"
"How can you say such a thing, that's not what I meant"

So, if this happens all the time with children during thier Formative Years, where their parents aren't "hearing" what it is they need to say, or however it is they need to communicate to be understood .. then they will grow up seeking attention, to be understood.

"Is it because peace and tranquility make them feel stagnant or bored?"

People are naturally at peace, thier emotional well-being is serene when there's a person who "gets" them. Even a person on a rampage will calm down when someone says, "hey, that makes sense", "I feel you on that." ...... a natural sense of harmony will immediately put them at rest.

someone "understands" where they are coming from ... there is no need to seek further attention. Perhaps, the old ways, where having a parent present, in the home full-time during child developement, where the parent had time to fully understand their children wasn't so bad.

Lack of maturity must definitely be a common denominator for these people because it is EXACTLY what you described. Like a little kid. Add it does make me want to smack them, honestly...lol It's just sickening!

I think up until a certain age, spanking can be an effective form of discipline. I was spanked as a kid (and if I did something REALLY terrible, I even got the belt) and I don't feel I was abused in any way. I deserved every one a got (and sometimes I deserved one but didn't get one..lol) I'm very close with my parents, actually. They're cool peeps.

Maybe attention wh0res are the way they are because they DIDN'T get spanked enough as a child.

The above was in response to Thetis.

P, I think the old ways were def. better for children. My mom stayed home with us until were all past grade school. When I see the way some of these children act today...it's ridiculous. My parents would have never tolerated that type of behavior.

"So, if this happens all the time with children during thier Formative Years, where their parents aren't "hearing" what it is they need to say, or however it is they need to communicate to be understood .. then they will grow up seeking attention, to be understood."

Yep this is how I see it, which is why I don't believe in spanking children. My personal opinion is that it's a cop-out, it's a lazy way to attempt to discipline your children instead of actually taking the time to teach them why their behaviour was wrong. I just don't believe children learn from being spanked, not if it's attention they're seeking.

I know where you're coming from SS but my view is different because I experienced both forms of discipline, my mother would spank my brother and I but my dad refused. It became clear that it was way easier to misbehave with my mother, because you'd get a smack and that was it - the point being you KNEW it would be quick. My dad would punish us in other ways, we'd not get to the beach/park whatever.

Although you're talking about toddler age, which I suppose is different. I never smacked my sister when she was young (I was 14 when she was born) - I would tell her clear and firm "no" and if she went into tantrum mode I walked away and refused to indulge her. To this day I am still the only person in the family she won't try her shit on. She's 17 and still runs circles around my parents, she just doesn't understand not being able to get what she wants - because while they smacked her if she persisted they gave in. LAZY!

I'm not a parent though so I appreciate it must be hard with some children, and no doubt I'll see that for myself when I have kids! But I still believe you don't need to lift a hand to discipline a child - have you ever seen that show "supernanny" I rather like her style , seems to work too.

"When I see the way some of these children act today...it's ridiculous. My parents would have never tolerated that type of behavior."

I do agree with you there SS and I'm not saying that sort of behaviour should be tolerated, I just don't believe smacking is the way to do it.

"Try me is my motto, I brought you in this world and I will take you out."

lmao SF that's class!

I'm not saying it's not right, it's just a personal choice for me for when I do have kids based on how I was brought up.

Different strokes for different folks I guess!

Well, and all children are different. What works with one kid, even in the same family, may not be effective with one of their siblings. As we got older (I think my last spanking was around age 9 or 10) my parents started grounding us or taking stuff away from us we enjoyed. I would have rather had the spanking, than a month with no TV or phone privileges. lol

Without communication present .. I don't think we are teaching children right from wrong. Parents will say things like ....

"Because I said so"
"Don't back-talk me, just do what you're told"

This isn't really explaining to them where they've erred. They are left to just obey out of fear of punishment from causing their parents wrath, without any understanding as to why the parent is upset with them. If they don't understand "why" a parent is disappointed or upset with them, then there will be so understanding of right from wrong.

SS, you're sentence in the OP ..

"Is it so they can constantly play the victim and receive sympathy when they have fucked up yet another relationship?"

.. reminds me of a famous Einstein quote:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

"I would have rather had the spanking, than a month with no TV or phone privileges. lol"

My dad used to do that, take away the TV/stereo etc. nightmare. Or it would be extra chores about the house. Worked though lol.

P what you said about if there's no communication present, I think that's what I was trying to say (albeit badly). My mum would spank us and use exactly the statements you wrote, amongst others. It did not work, it just made me frustrated.