My mind saying, GO..but, My heart is saying, STAY (Page 2)

Posted by 3dimes2nickels1penny0sense


Lol P-angel, you have a way with words...... nothing is wrong with her cooking and fluffing his pillows .... she loves him.

You miss the point entirely ... why is that not surprising?

Posted by AquaRN

Wait, P-Angel, I think you got lost somewhere in reading my novel(lol) that I tolerated this for he duration of the relationship.

If you are indeed a long time lurker of dxp then you would know how to address me.

You are the one who is lost, in the future, refrain from speaking to me if you feel compelled in twisting your issue onto me.

Posted by AquaRN

... we had some minor bickering over how things were being said to each other, blah, blah, blah...nothing that I thought was that serious. I thought I was being understanding and supportive when I cleaned his place, prepared his plate when he arrived home, and tried not to talk too much (I'm a talker and need clarity on a lot in which he dislike).


.... he wanted me to stay at this place with him so, I didnt go home. That night was weird tho. I arrived at his place around 8:30 and when I got there in was in the bed already. By the time I finished eating dinner and making my way back to the bedroom the TV was off (9:30pm). I'm thinking WTF? I asked him, if truning the TV on would bother him because I wanted to watch the election, he said, "no" so I did. I must've fallen asleep because I was woken up by him yelling to turn the TV off around 12am. I guess he was woken up by the hoopla surrounding Obama's victory. I was taken aback by why was he yelling as if I was up and heard the TV and ignored the volume. The next morning, I asked him why were you yelling and he said, I guess I can add to the list that I'm a controlling bully too. I thought, "huh" and just left it alone. Didn't have the energy to entertain.

Wednesday, we spoke very little throughout the day which it has been since work has picked up. So that afternoon I texted him and asked, " Hey Babe, how's it going? How's your mom doing?" around 4:00 not response. So around 6pm he calls but never address the text, but said he was going ot the hospital to see

1. you thought you were being supportive when you cleaned his placed and fixed him a meal ... when he never asked you to wait on him like a servant ... he asked for support, didn't ask for a servant. Support means emotional support ... Ms. Aqua. In any event, you veered away from addressing it ... likely due to doormat syndrome.

2. you go to his place to sleep with him at his request and he didn't wait for you ... at that point a woman with integrity would have walked the fuck out .. not you. You don't bother him and then ignore his yelling at you.

3. you give him space during the day, then text him later to check on him and he blows you off ... and this is acceptable to you.



And that is just the first post of 2500 characters ....

so, don't respond to me saying such bullshit .....

Posted by AquaRN

Wait, P-Angel, I think you got lost somewhere in reading my novel(lol) that I tolerated this for he duration of the relationship.

You are the one who is ignorant to it, in that you are tolerating bad behaviour ... which means you are the one who is lost, since you carry yourself with no integrity.

you're not suppose to go fluff his pillows when he treats you like a piece of shit ... you're suppose to have some pride and tell him to fuck himself.

Of course, this is like talking to a brick wall because when he asked for support .. you went to go fix him a meal and fluff his pillows ... so, you don't even (get) what emotional support means.

Oh, WOW P-Angel. The word "lost" must have hit a nerve!! You read into that the the wrong way! But, I so appreciate your comments. 🙂 Please continue to add at your will. I'm sure it's going to be entertaining and helpful at the same time! 🙂

Posted by AquaRN
Oh, WOW P-Angel. The word "lost" must have hit a nerve!! You read into that the the wrong way! But, I so appreciate your comments. 🙂 Please continue to add at your will. I'm sure it's going to be entertaining and helpful at the same time! 🙂

WOW Aqua... all this info you're receiving and you're going to focus on being flippant and snarky? Go in for a jab instead of getting your head out your ASS?

the more you type.. the clearer the story becomes...

Elle, this man has NEVER laid a hand on me! And, "in deep" not at all! Did I develop feelings for this man, sure, but not to the point where I will allow him to abuse me emotionally or physically! That's just NOT going to happen! I appreciate your concern and comment.

Shellshocker, really I wasn't trying to be nasty with P-Angel. BUT, she took offense when I said, "lost" which hell I realized if she did because it was very long post. I see you took offense to my reply to her. I really do appreciate all the feed back I'm receiving. I didnt come here to battle with anyone.

no... i'm not offended. when people speak their minds and it is not sugary and sweet and followed by a bunch of 🙂's.. it doesn't mean they have been offended

Posted by ellessque

Posted by AquaRN
Elle, this man has NEVER laid a hand on me! And, "in deep" not at all! Did I develop feelings for this man, sure, but not to the point where I will allow him to abuse me emotionally or physically! That's just NOT going to happen! I appreciate your concern and comment.

I could easily pick out more than a dozen sentences that *you* wrote that are clearly emotional abuse.

click to expand

+1

Posted by AquaRN

.... not to the point where I will allow him to abuse me emotionally or physically! That's just NOT going to happen!

It already did happen, continually, according to what you posted .... how lost can you possibly be that you are unable to recognize your own actions?

Posted by ellessque

You are horribly oppressed by this man and it's quite sad nobody brought that your attention yet.

First .... you are insinuating that she shouldn't have the ability to figure out for herself, her errors. Why is it sad that some other person hasn't pointed her life out to her.

It is your responsibility to do the right thing in your life, for your benefit and quality ... just as it's mine for my life.

Second .... judging from how she ignores anything that resembles self-accountibility, if her people did point this out to her, it would be safe to assume she ignores it.


As I've said in my post on the Relationships board, and stand by my assertion ... women love to hurt, they will do anything to relish in pain, even deny their ownselves the right to have a right.

@AquaRN. Do what YOU feel is right for YOU!

Truth is HINDSIGHT IS ALWAYS 20/20! And most people commenting have done far WORSE than you have but you would never tell that by how they "deliver " their "help " if you want to call it that. Some of the "veterans " of this is site are too concerned with their own "image and personal agendas " to really be any help to anyone needing sound advice. Smh!

Everyone one this thread has had at least one FAILED RELATIONSHIP.

I did put myself in her shoes and knowing what I know and practicing what I preach is why I gave her the advice I did. No relationship is perfect. We are all human and we make mistakes.

I'm sure if all of you were HONEST AND TRUTHFUL (that knocks out 75% of y'all hypocrites)
and were brave enough to put your current or last relationship on this site for
everyone to comment on, we could pick apart your relationship and label it "abusive ", "dysfunctional " or "abnormal " and that you should get the HELL OUT!.

MOST women on here answer for anything dealing with a man is "LEAVE HIM!!!! GET OUT!!!!!
PACK YOUR BAGS! !!! RUN!!!!! " WTF—?

so she can wind up bitter and alone like P-angel the "Almighty great one of this site" wtf—??
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit! !!

If you read my comments, I said I don't condone what he did. They both were wrong!!! BOTH.
just because she is a woman doesn't mean she walks on water and just because she is with a MAN (not a woman like half of u wish .....smh) doesn't mean that man is abusive.

Why people still come here for advice is beyond me with all the bullshit you guys say.

FYI ...... I gladly and proudly stand alone. I don't need a "fan club" or "sidekicks " or trying to make
a "name ln this site"..... lmao.... so I could care less what the "mob" or the "get a long gang" thinks about me
or my views ..... once y'all start paying some bills of mine or can increase my net worth, then
I might "value" your opinion of me.

I only come on here to have fun, learn whenever possible, and help people seeking reliable
advice minus the hidden agendas and "dxp celebrity status bullshit "....

So don't ever get it twisted.

I think a relationship is "abusive" if you do not have an understanding of how the emotional dynamic is working.

Aqua... doesn't know what she's dealing with. She is accountable for her actions. Needs to know what she's putting out and what she's pulling in. She can make a CHOICE over what she wants to do... but she should make an INFORMED choice.

She even said her man cheated on her... when the situation DID NOT say that. The other woman said she was "only a friend. known the guy for years"

^^^^^^^ where does that say physical cheating?^^^^

I still think she needs to get her head out of her ass and put her ego in check. Open her Eyes!

I've been/AM in a relationship where emotional "play" runs high! BUT.. I know exactly what's going on and don't consider it "abuse" cause it is what I know/want/and can handle.

Personal accountability is necessary here for both parties... is she up for that? Is he? From her posts.. she might not be able to so she should consider ALL contributes because the pages make the book.

Posted by ellessque

You are horribly oppressed by this man and it's quite sad nobody brought that your attention yet.

Here lies the problem with most relationships ^^^^


People aren't accountible for themselves .... and expect others to provide them with life clues.

@ 3dimes, your post had me ctfu!! SO TRUE!! I've been lurking aroud this site since...2009 I believe so, I'm aware of what you're saying. But, I understand I asked for advice and they are given it to me from their point of view whether the delivery is harsh or not. I definitley agree with you in one of your earlier post, " thank God some of you don't work at a crisis cener." Lol! FOR REAL!! I appreciate all the comments thus far tho. Even Shellshock who tells me to "take my head out of my ass!" I didn't even know it was there. Whew...

I suppose the reason I don't work in a crisis center is likely for the same reason I'm not a ballet dancer.. or a long-distance trucker.. or a Wal-Mart Greeter.. doesn't suit me, not my forte. *shrug*

I wasn't aware that this qualified as
A) a crisis, and
B) a crisis centre requiring crisis intervention...

Quite the correlation. Irrelevant as it was.