I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.
Pisces husband
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My Pisces husband of almost 15 years whom is currently deployed has been pushing me away being downright cruel in his words because he's having an affair and has fallen in love with a woman overseas. He's never done this or treated me like this before. It's almost like he's living in a fantasy land. He's willing to lose and give up everything. I'm so confused and he won't give me any answers other than rewriting the history of our marriage and fabricating everything to blame me. Our kids and I are devastated. He's due home in less than a month, my question is once he gets home and out of fantasy land will he then be cordial with me or will it continue like this?
My Pisces husband of 15 years whom is currently deployed has been having an affair an apparently fallen in love with this woman overseas. We have been together 17 years and he he never done this or acted in the ways he is now with blaming me and pulling away and rewriting the history of our marriage. It's like he is living in a fantasy land right now and does not want to deal with reality or responsilbility at all. We have two children he has almost all but turned his back on. He is due home in a few weeks however I'm not so sure that he's not going to try to extend his assignment to stay over there with her. My question is if he does come home at this point will he come around to being cordial with me or is this what it's going to be like then also?
Posted by Taurion19
I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.
I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.

Have you forgiven him for cheating on you and your children ?
Not yet, it's still very fresh since discovery and he won't even admit nor address it with me at this point. He is in love with this woman. and still currently deployed. It's hard to communicate through email but even harder when he won't completely address it at all. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the face to face.

Posted by Taurion19lady you need to get off your la la land and understand things have changed and no, it's never going to be the same - get a lawyer and file for divorce - he is in the wrong having an affair and it is over between you two but you want to think he's going to come home and be all sweet ? he is setting you up to take as much with him as he can and leave you and the children in the dust - wake up before it's too late - it's over - save yourself and your children - and stop being devastated - you will lose if you are not capable of holding up under this pressure right now but your children need you to be strong - it is what it is and you have work to do here - there will be time for that later on - I know it's hard but it has to be done so get on with it
I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.

Personally I think he has just moved on. He is trying to prepare you for it. I hope I am wrong.

Posted by Taurion19read my other post but stop worrying about having a face to face - you know enough now - go get your lawyer and file for divorce - he is wrong for having the affair but he's telling you it's over so believe that
Not yet, it's still very fresh since discovery and he won't even admit nor address it with me at this point. He is in love with this woman. and still currently deployed. It's hard to communicate through email but even harder when he won't completely address it at all. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the face to face.
Perhaps that is true but I think I am still more in shock than anything. I am preparing myself for the divorce however.
Yes he has moved on albeit with a woman that doesn't speak English nor he knows anything about. He has abandoned his children for this as well so I'm 100% sure it's over however we do need to be civil for the children sake.

Posted by Taurion19I know, but it happens all the time - shock ain't gonna pay the bills when he's all gone - do the math and get tough - I'm not saying take him to the cleaners but I do believe you will need to get what you need for you and the children - just get out quickly - the longer this goes the uglier and more hurtful everyone will stay and that's not a good thing either.
Perhaps that is true but I think I am still more in shock than anything. I am preparing myself for the divorce however.
Well I feel it doesn't have to be ugly or nasty at all. I'm not trying to be and I'm the one who should be if anything...

there is no reason he should find it necessary to be cruel and mean to you - put his shit outside and change the locks and file for divorce immediately - file a protective order if you have to from him being allowed near you or the kids if he is that mean and cruel - he's trying to pin this on you even though he knows that's not the case - because he knows what he's done
does he understand civil for the children's sake lol - no - so do what you need to do and don't think they don't know what is going on and know that he is to blame - children are not stupid
does he understand civil for the children's sake lol - no - so do what you need to do and don't think they don't know what is going on and know that he is to blame - children are not stupid

Posted by Taurion19that's right but he is being nasty so step up to the plate and bat your home run baby gurl !
Well I feel it doesn't have to be ugly or nasty at all. I'm not trying to be and I'm the one who should be if anything...

Posted by Taurion19Well you don't have to get even and you have children together so for their sake, try and be as mature as you can....believe me, how you both choose to act will have a huge affect on them
Well I feel it doesn't have to be ugly or nasty at all. I'm not trying to be and I'm the one who should be if anything...

Posted by tctaoHe is allowed to see his children as long as they are not in danger
there is no reason he should find it necessary to be cruel and mean to you - put his shit outside and change the locks and file for divorce immediately - file a protective order if you have to from him being allowed near you or the kids if he is that mean and cruel - he's trying to pin this on you even though he knows that's not the case - because he knows what he's done
does he understand civil for the children's sake lol - no - so do what you need to do and don't think they don't know what is going on and know that he is to blame - children are not stupid
Hmmm, that's some thing I did not think about...a protective order. He's not physically mean just verbally right now. I don't think he would be physically. I mean he has no reason to be. I did contact his command about his adultery and non support of the kids and have reason to believe he is being investigated. Not sure sure though but that is a start. His things are already out and in a storage unit.

Posted by MyStarsShineof course he isPosted by tctaoHe is allowed to see his children as long as they are not in danger
there is no reason he should find it necessary to be cruel and mean to you - put his shit outside and change the locks and file for divorce immediately - file a protective order if you have to from him being allowed near you or the kids if he is that mean and cruel - he's trying to pin this on you even though he knows that's not the case - because he knows what he's done
does he understand civil for the children's sake lol - no - so do what you need to do and don't think they don't know what is going on and know that he is to blame - children are not stupidclick to expand
No, he is good in person with the children. It's just when he is away he tends to not remember he has children so much.

Posted by tctaoIt's such a difficult situation but the children still have two parents who they love.....it takes a lot of strength to keep them away from all the hassle that can transpire between their mum and dadPosted by MyStarsShineof course he isPosted by tctaoHe is allowed to see his children as long as they are not in danger
there is no reason he should find it necessary to be cruel and mean to you - put his shit outside and change the locks and file for divorce immediately - file a protective order if you have to from him being allowed near you or the kids if he is that mean and cruel - he's trying to pin this on you even though he knows that's not the case - because he knows what he's done
does he understand civil for the children's sake lol - no - so do what you need to do and don't think they don't know what is going on and know that he is to blame - children are not stupidclick to expand
When parents hurt each other, they hurt their children
😢

Posted by Taurion19You seem mature enough to realise though they are entitled to have a rship with him if they choose
No, he is good in person with the children. It's just when he is away he tends to not remember he has children so much.

Posted by Taurion19- make it work for you and the kids and as quickly as possible - go see the lawyer now before he comes home if he even comes - a lawyer can tell you what you need to know - the plot is thickening I hear - no support ? withholding money for the household - hummmm - I am so sorry - but you seem to be doing a few things right so far - just get that lawyer so you are doing it all legally and smoothly and I think you can also have in the divorce that he is to pay the lawyer fees
Hmmm, that's some thing I did not think about...a protective order. He's not physically mean just verbally right now. I don't think he would be physically. I mean he has no reason to be. I did contact his command about his adultery and non support of the kids and have reason to believe he is being investigated. Not sure sure though but that is a start. His things are already out and in a storage unit.
I am outta here for the weekend - good luck to you and again, I am sorry for what you are going through -
Yes however I will say unfortunately they are aware and are not exactly pleased with him and not sure if they even want to deal with him. He has lied to them quite a bit lately also regarding other things not this issue but they do not trust him anymore.
Thank You. It's not something I ever even imagined someone going through, much less in my own life!
Absolutely bc I feel that if that relationship struggles, that will be due to him himself. He's suppose to be a grown man.
I do worry about this woman being around my children bc she can't even speak any English. I'm not prepared to deal with this yet at all.

Posted by Taurion19They don't have to be around her until you feel sure they will be secure in her company
I do worry about this woman being around my children bc she can't even speak any English. I'm not prepared to deal with this yet at all.
Their father can see them away from her
Hopefully he will. He doesn't even appear to want to come back at all at this point so I don't think his priority has anything to do with them or seeing them right now....

Posted by Taurion19My best friend went through the exact sam thing when her husband was deployed. Sorry to hear, that really sucks esp also for the kids. Crap time of the year too. Was it a long time coming? Time to do what needs done I guess. Is she Filipino?
I do worry about this woman being around my children bc she can't even speak any English. I'm not prepared to deal with this yet at all.
Yes called the lawyer, thank you.

No it wasn't a long time coming at all. It was like a switch flipped sort of thing. Not really sure but a change occurred in him and his interaction with me in like a month timeframe. And no not Filipino, she is a young Japanese girl.
Thank You MyStarsShine.
Did this just recently happen to your best friend?
Oh, I'm sorry for your sister too. It's unbelievable tbh.
Why might you say this is so Pisces? I apologize I don't quite understand what that means.
Posted by Senorita_LL
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I've been in your situation before and I do understand the pain especially when you have kids.
I hope you both will end this like adults. 15 years together is no joke and sometimes I wonder, how can they actually let go of that so easily because of another person whom they just knew. But what's done can never be undone. Shit happens and you just have got to be strong for yourself and the children.
Time will heal your wounds. You gonna be fine.
I feel the same exact way. Sorry you went through this to, I would not wish this on anyone. I do wonder how they can just be so callous and cold hearted after so much history as well. My heart would never allow me to do anyone that way. It's life and not everyone has the same heart I do believe in what goes around comes around and people making their own beds. I'm sure it's going to get harder soon as I just prepare myself to do what I have to do to protect myself and my children from here.

Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.

Posted by Taurion19It doesn't mean anything, it's just a huge generalisation of a sun sign
Why might you say this is so Pisces? I apologize I don't quite understand what that means.
Just ignore it

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Posted by tctaoYour cap moon came thru so clear in this post ... 🙂Posted by Taurion19lady you need to get off your la la land and understand things have changed and no, it's never going to be the same - get a lawyer and file for divorce - he is in the wrong having an affair and it is over between you two but you want to think he's going to come home and be all sweet ? he is setting you up to take as much with him as he can and leave you and the children in the dust - wake up before it's too late - it's over - save yourself and your children - and stop being devastated - you will lose if you are not capable of holding up under this pressure right now but your children need you to be strong - it is what it is and you have work to do here - there will be time for that later on - I know it's hard but it has to be done so get on with it
I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.
click to expand
This is all true ladies and Thank You so much for the kind support. I'm not sure what has happened during this deployment but I do know out of all the ones he's done, this one has certainly affected him the worst just as in stress alone. I'm sure once he gets back and reality sets in he will have the chance to wind down a bit. As for me and the kids, we will be living our life. As for the divorce, I'm preparing and deciding what's best for us.

Posted by LadyNeptunenot all servicemen cheat during deployment. i dont think it gives those good men any credit. im sorry you both have gone through this however. it is a difficult situation for sure.
Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
Posted by AbbyNormalThis is true. I know some who don't but many do unfortunately. It all depends on the individual character and morals. He never did before this, he was a die hard family man...but people change and sometimes that's not for the best I guess. I just don't want him coming back being mean like he is being right now to us when we are not the ones who did anything wrong. If he can't accept responsibility or feels guilt, that's his issues not ours!Posted by LadyNeptunenot all servicemen cheat during deployment. i dont think it gives those good men any credit. im sorry you both have gone through this however. it is a difficult situation for sure.
Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
click to expand

Posted by Taurion19just keep your side of the street clean and stay strong. you will need it. things can end in a civil manner if thats what you wish. try not to project into the future and take care of immediate needs to the best of your ability. im very sorry your family is going through this...Posted by AbbyNormalThis is true. I know some who don't but many do unfortunately. It all depends on the individual character and morals. He never did before this, he was a die hard family man...but people change and sometimes that's not for the best I guess. I just don't want him coming back being mean like he is being right now to us when we are not the ones who did anything wrong. If he can't accept responsibility or feels guilt, that's his issues not ours!Posted by LadyNeptunenot all servicemen cheat during deployment. i dont think it gives those good men any credit. im sorry you both have gone through this however. it is a difficult situation for sure.
Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
click to expand
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by Taurion19just keep your side of the street clean and stay strong. you will need it. things can end in a civil manner if thats what you wish. try not to project into the future and take care of immediate needs to the best of your ability. im very sorry your family is going through this...Posted by AbbyNormalThis is true. I know some who don't but many do unfortunately. It all depends on the individual character and morals. He never did before this, he was a die hard family man...but people change and sometimes that's not for the best I guess. I just don't want him coming back being mean like he is being right now to us when we are not the ones who did anything wrong. If he can't accept responsibility or feels guilt, that's his issues not ours!Posted by LadyNeptunenot all servicemen cheat during deployment. i dont think it gives those good men any credit. im sorry you both have gone through this however. it is a difficult situation for sure.
Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
click to expand
I hope for it to be civil but at this point I am a bit skeptical and on guard.

Posted by Taurion19.....as difficult as these things can be, you can choose how to react. It may be the case that you will have to be the strong mature one who stands back from all the ego stuff.....not easy I know, but in the long run, it will be worth itPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Taurion19just keep your side of the street clean and stay strong. you will need it. things can end in a civil manner if thats what you wish. try not to project into the future and take care of immediate needs to the best of your ability. im very sorry your family is going through this...Posted by AbbyNormalThis is true. I know some who don't but many do unfortunately. It all depends on the individual character and morals. He never did before this, he was a die hard family man...but people change and sometimes that's not for the best I guess. I just don't want him coming back being mean like he is being right now to us when we are not the ones who did anything wrong. If he can't accept responsibility or feels guilt, that's his issues not ours!Posted by LadyNeptunenot all servicemen cheat during deployment. i dont think it gives those good men any credit. im sorry you both have gone through this however. it is a difficult situation for sure.
Who knows what horrors he saw being deployed. And yes they all cheat during deployment.
I tried a relationship with a service man and couldn’t hang. Too stressful.
Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Focus on that.
I hope for it to be civil but at this point I am a bit skeptical and on guard.
click to expand
Posted by Taurion19
I've been married to my Pisces husband for almost 15 years, and we have two beautiful kids. Recently while deployed he's been pushing me away because of him having an affair. He's due home in a month and this situation is so crazy and so unbelievable to even deal with. He is like a totally different person now. So cruel and blaming me for everything not being perfect in our marriage. It's like he has rewritten the history of our entire marriage to suit himself. He now wants a divorce and says his feelings for me are long gone. There is a lot more to this story but my question mainly is once he is home away from his fantasy land will he become more civil toward me and understand what all he has done? Everyone is devastated but him and I just can't fathom it.
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