Swimming Toward the Darkness

My exhusband was a gemini sun/cancer moon. It seemed like it was all him, him, him. Like he was a total narcisistic person.
Just shared because I can guess how you feel. Hang in there and stand up for yourself.

LMAO

I thought ....omg...poor Pisces abused, neglected, cheated, deceived, betrayed, abandoned........before reading this.

It turned out it was just some silly competition with a "friend" and oh..........Gem dared to have the same opinion with him, not the fish.

Again, lmao.

Keep serving, you are an idiot.

Its so strange. I have never understood rude people. I stand back and look at the current state of our world and realize that we are just not kind to each other. Why? Okay, so you think I am overreacting, but why be rude? I don't get it. If you posted something that I thought was "dumb," which I wouldn't, because each of us feel things differently, I would not insult you. I would value your feelings and either attempt to help you or just not respond. Why be so rude. My apologies if I offended you. My bad. Quite honestly, I thought we were all here to support each other. If I want to get my ass kicked all I have to do is walk outside. Take it easy.

Hey Folks. I cannot thank you all for your comments. I know that I can be overly sensitive, so I have been pondering on the incident for a very long time. The Taurus in me makes me practical and take things very slow. I have replayed the incident over and over and over and over and over again in my head hoping for a different outcome. Each time I think about the incident, it just pisses me off because when the argument ensued, my husband was in the bathroom. So when he returned, we were already arguing. I got scolded without him even knowing what happened. While this incident may seem petty, there have been other incidents that have brought me to this point. I need loyalty. I need one person in this world that is going to have my back. I thank you all for listening and I send you all my love. I will always be here if you folks need me. "Blessed Be."



88akka

I will do my best not to go to my darkside. You have a scorpio moon, so I know you understand. Thank you, Mama.

Hi BlackNova. Thank you for the response. You are right. I do not want blind loyalty. I love the picture of "Keanu Reeves." I have never met a Sag., but I've heard you folks are fun to be around. I have heard you are all really light-hearted. Very cool. I want to learn to be that way. Thank you again for taking the time to listen.

Honestly agreeing with some of the others above - seems like because you're so drained, you've started to keep "the invisible tally" of everything your hubby does wrong and taking it all personally. You like to serve right? This time serve yourself. Gem people are cool, but like "typical" air signs, they tend to be like the wind, constantly flitting around and in their own heads.Think you should step back and "do you" for a while - indulge yourself, make new friends, do new stuff,etc. And tell your husband how you feel and why; he won't know otherwise, just that you're upset.

Besides, you shouldn't hold grudges for that. People aren't you, they can be fickle. It's fine to disagree for little things like that. Look at it this way: you yourself don't like his friend, but he hasn't broken up with you because of that, has he? He let you have your opinion and stayed with you, right?

About this merging: I get it. But while Pisces is one sign, it's still made up of two fish - each different: one fish is spiritual, the other material. Balance is needed. You just haven't found it.

Let me put this out there, I have my Sun in Gem, Moon in Scorpio. My ex-husband Libra Sun, Moon in Scorpio didn't share the same protective stand by your woman and have her back idea, either. He would do the same as to what you described, BUT I would NEVER throw my marriage away nor make all or nothing statements that I wouldn't forgive. Marriage is about forgiving over and over, talking and respecting each other. Do you actually talk and explain what you felt and how you feel he wasn't loyal to you?

Ask him how he would feel in those shoes?

To say you couldn't forgive? It sounds like your looking for a reason to leave to me.

Loyalty is very important to me.. Not everyone views it the same..

Hey Folks. Once again, thank you all for your posts. All of you have really given me a lot to think about.


Leonyne, you are right. I do hold grudges. I always have. I am, no doubt, stubborn. It is really hard for me to let people into my life. I fear that I will get hurt. So, when I do let someone in, I completely trust them and give them my all. In return, I expect them to value my feelings. I suppose I have some work to do on myself. Yes, I think some balance might be needed.


WateryGem, thanks for the response. Its good to have a perspective from "Air and Water." I did not expect him to take my side or defend me. I did not expect him to take my side because he had no idea what actually happened while he was in the bathroom. Also, I did not expect him to protect me. I am a "big" girl and did a fine job defending myself. What I did expect him to do was mind his own business (which he has trouble doing). I understand that his friend and I were both being petty. I understand that my husband was put in an impossible situation. Once again, I never asked him to choose. He decided on his own to intervene without knowing what actually happened. He could have just as easily said, "F@@k both of you, I am sick of this s@@t and walked away. I would have been completely fine with that. I would have deserved it for acting like a high school kid. I would have respected him a lot more. Yes, I have explained my feelings and he used his "Gemini persuasive tactics and intelligence" to "BS" me. According to him, the reason he defended his friend without knowing what actually happened his because he "expected" more from me. He has come right out and said, "Its your fault." How does he know it was my fault? He was not there. In my opinion, his actions speaks to what he thinks of our marriage. The fact that he did it in front of a crowd also speaks to how much he holds our marriage in such "high regard." Just can't seem to get over it. Thank you again.


LadyOfRebirth, thank you for your kind words. Obviously, I am not perfect. No one is. I understand some might think I am being a petty, whiny, crybaby and I respect their opinion. However, there is no need to be disrespectful. Even if I do not agree with you, I will always remain respectful, because everyone deserves that.

Respect needs to be earned. People like you, who don't know how to behave socially, but expect to be given right in front of others —just because of a relationship??, are simply obnoxious. Actually, —the relationship?? is what causes embarrassment to people associated with you, when you behave the way you did. Your false sense of entitlement is mind blowing!

You are passive aggressive and deluded IRL. Then came here, chasing validation in the most pathetic way. Learn how to behave and piss off.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth

Posted by PiscesDaeGirl
Its so strange. I have never understood rude people. I stand back and look at the current state of our world and realize that we are just not kind to each other. Why? Okay, so you think I am overreacting, but why be rude? I don't get it. If you posted something that I thought was "dumb," which I wouldn't, because each of us feel things differently, I would not insult you. I would value your feelings and either attempt to help you or just not respond. Why be so rude. My apologies if I offended you. My bad. Quite honestly, I thought we were all here to support each other. If I want to get my ass kicked all I have to do is walk outside. Take it easy.

Don't take Undine serious.

She's only going off on you because her current squeeze is a Gemini.

click to expand

And what are YOU squeezing....?

Your bum or your nose?

" I feel betrayed! I feel "unprotected!!" I can NEVER forgive him!"

"I did not expect him to take my side or defend me. Also, I did not expect him to protect me."

LOL, just lol.

Undine, I understand and respect your opinion. I wish you well and apologize that I have annoyed you🙂

Hey Folks, Undine makes a good point. While I am not looking for validation, I may be a bit delusional. I am not sure and that is exactly why I came to the forum looking for help (not validation) from my Pisces Peeps. I am a thinker and may very well be deluding myself. I do have a lot of Neptune in my chart. Undine, forgive me if you think I am seeking validation. I am not. I am just looking for a little help and advice. I do not expect everyone to agree with me, just a little outside help from my own mind. Once again, thank you for your perspective and take care.

If nobody defended you during the incident with "the friend", this is the biggest clue you WERE in the wrong. If your husband went against the consensus to defend you, or even kept silent, pretending that nothing was wrong, the two of you were probably labelled as an obnoxious couple. By doing otherwise, he gave you the opportunity to became "re-accepted" by the group.

Your antics reminded me of my Taurus mum, btw, also married with a sociable air sign, aqua. "You are more tolerant of strangers than of members of your family" was one of the things she used to accuse him of. Of course he was! He had to live with his family, not with "strangers" (aka friends), and criticizing is the best way to show you care and hope that things will turn out better in the future!

I hope things will turn out better for you too. As someone else mentioned here, I have a reason to support "pisces-gem" relationships 😄!

Gemini are some of the scummiest. go find yourself someone that will appreciate you and love you and give you what you need. clearly you're not satisfied and your husband doesn't care.

I cannot thank you all enough for your honest responses. I have been in my head for so long and REALLY needed some outside advice and guidance. I truly get so confused and foggy sometimes.


Undine, I wish you the best in your current relationship.


Magenta_Azure, thank you very much for your response and taking the time to listen. Take care.

I truly thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to help me out.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
Gemini are some of the scummiest. go find yourself someone that will appreciate you and love you and give you what you need. clearly you're not satisfied and your husband doesn't care.

And you probably know A LOT about being married or even being in a long term relationship.....do you...?

Are you probably expecting that someone will propose to you and you will accept to get married, despite being unappreciated, unloved and uncared for...?!

Posted by PiscesDaeGirl

I do not want blind loyalty

That is precisely what you want ... in fact, that is the whole problem here as you've described it.

You absolutely NO business creating contrary situations of ANY KIND with his friends. You admittedly argue argue with his friends. That is absolutely disrespectful of you to do to him ..... especially when you're whole beef is him not respecting you.

You are getting exactly what you put you. You've had every opportunity to do the right thing by your man, in NOT putting up a barrier with him and his friends.

Their his fuckign friends ... if you can't handle that ... then be an adult and remove yourself from the presence of him and his friends.


btw ...... your description of the Pisces is ridiculous. We all know that Pisces people are selfish muther fukers, and only give when it suits them.


My suggestion is to grow brain cells. If you think you're going to get me to believe this utter bullshit, then you're stupider than even iodine thinks.


You put your man in this position, in where he has to choose ... all because you have no control over yourself and open your big fucking mouth when you're suppose to close it due to respect to your man.


So, don't come back crying when you are taken for the fool you are.

*Undine

P-Angel, thank you very much for your perspective. Take care.

This thread is so insightful... From her original post it didn't seem like she was the one to blame, but once, she explained more you can see her ownership in it.

You guys have great feedback... I like to see others perspectives on stuff like this.

As for the Gem bashing, sorry, you didn't have a great experience. She has been with hers for 12yrs, I would say that is a long time.. So it's not all BAD!!

LOL Undine loves her Gem!!

Hey Folks. If I may, make no mistake about it. I am not taking ownership! I never will. Hey, bash me if you will. All I have done thus far is admit my weaknesses and respect everyone's opinion. I respect those that agree and those that disagree. Though I may live in a fog and I often do, I will not excuse the fact that my husband had no idea what had already occurred when he butted in. Make no mistake, I have been with this man for 12 years. He has only known this guy for 5 years. They met while on vacation. I have catered to my husband's every need (happily) since I was 22. I have respected and honored our vows. The problem is I believe that I have respected and honored them much more than he. He has been divorced twice, which has left him a bit cold and detached. Make no mistake, he too, his very much set in his ways and often gets his way. This is one time where he (With his little boy charm) may not get his way. I appreciate the negative and positive feedback. I love the passion and outrage in some of you folks. Though I am soft and mushy and very respectful, I have "Bull" skin.

Undine, you continue to love your Gemi. There is nothing wrong with that. I never claimed that every Gemi was the same. I was simply discussing my gemi husband.

My point wasn't to say you take all ownership but we should own our part of the situation. That's being self aware of what we bring to arguments and others things that happen in our life. That's all I'm saying!! I understand your hurt feelings but we have to sometimes look outside ourselves at the whole picture. I wasn't there nor do I know your life at all. I'm just giving my experience and that's all.

I hope that you two can really communicate and get to the real root of the issue.

WateryGem, I never bashed The Gemini. I very much aware of their qualities. I live with one. I have witnessed by husband's intelligence and ability to sell anything to anyone. He possesses AWESOME communication skills. He is caring and has a heart. He is great to his mother and cares greatly for Mankind. He has a great sense of humor and keeps me rolling. He talks A LOT which decreases his ability to listen. He always right and child like. He throws tantrums like a child. We all have positives and negatives. My negatives, I am stubborn as a mother f@@@@r, live in a fog, throw tantrums and am an escapist.

Sorry for some of the typo's.

Posted by PiscesDaeGirl
WateryGem, I never bashed The Gemini. I very much aware of their qualities. I live with one. I have witnessed by husband's intelligence and ability to sell anything to anyone. He possesses AWESOME communication skills. He is caring and has a heart. He is great to his mother and cares greatly for Mankind. He has a great sense of humor and keeps me rolling. He talks A LOT which decreases his ability to listen. He always right and child like. He throws tantrums like a child. We all have positives and negatives. My negatives, I am stubborn as a mother f@@@@r, live in a fog, throw tantrums and am an escapist.

I wasn't referring to you when I made that comment. LOL

One thing I can say, the more we focus on the issues in a relationship the less we see the good and positive of the person we are with.

I know with that Taurus and Pisces energy you are for sure stubborn. LOL My gf is soo stubborn, her Virgo boyfriend has had to help her with the seeing outside of her own emotions. She would get so locked into her feelings she wasn't seeing her part in situations.

WateryGem

Well, isn't that something. The only person that can usually get me to "see" things is my Virgo mom. However, I must say that you are doing a very good job. Thank you for your logic. For some reason, the things you say resonate with me. Well, if that is not situational irony, then I don't know what is. The person that is helping me most is the Gemini. I will try to remember the things I love about him the most. Thank you so much. I can already feel my heart softening.

No, Piscesdae...


This is like Stockholm Syndrome, and you're making

friends with your enemies so you can continue in denial.

Your first instinct is the correct one-- 99.999% of the time.

Montgomery, you are funny.I thank you for your advice. If you read through the posts, you will see that I call no one here a "friend." I did not come to the site looking for friends. I came looking for honest opinions. Some were brutally honest (no problem) and others more laid back. I love my husband. I always have. He makes me angry sometimes (really, really angry) and I just have to vent. Quite honestly, after chatting back and forth with these folks and posting my original rant, I feel much better. Once again, I thank you for your post. I just met a Leo for the first time the other day. Very pretty girl. Fierce as a son of a b@@@@ and super nice...just like I am sure you are. Since my rant, I have calmed myself. Thanks again!

The truth of it is, while I am burning red hot mad at him, I have to remember that life is fragile. If he were to die today or tomorrow, it would kill me. Trust me, I am fortunate to have him in my life.

Pick your battles... I don't disagree.

Not in theory, anyway.

If this isn't a deal breaker for you--

and it would be for me, in a hot minute-- then carry on.


+1 for the sugar-coating.

🙂

I feel you. Trust me, I was in that "hot minute" as you can see from my initial post. After reflecting, I realize that I have a lot of "hot minutes." Sometimes they are valid (such as in this instance), and other times, its me being stubborn, selfish, thinking I am right and passive aggressive. My ultimate goal is enlightenment. If I have to take one for the team this time around, no problem. However, heat will be felt if that sacrifice is not reciprocated. Take care, "Hot Minute."