"You aren't there for me"

A girl in the same class as our lad has been having anxiety and panic attacks at school. She was in my house a while back and i noticed how uneasy she was...

Her mother and father split up...her mother met an old lover from years ago and became totally besotted with him...they are now living together. Some time after, the father got himself a woman.

I meet the mother from time to time in town...she is very nice to talk to, but very freedom loving ... age of Aquarius and all that and it is obvious she puts the lover first. The last time i saw her i asked how her daughter was and she said, *not good at all, i am taking her for counselling*. She then told me she had said to her mother *you aren't there for me*

Well i thought it was pretty obvious, but the mother had to have it spelt out to her. The girl needs her mum and dad...she is a teenager....that alone is difficult. They don't want to see their parents acting like teenagers..

I am wondering, why do parents put their lives first over their children's? I am also wondering, do they realize what damage they are causing

?

They don't realize a damn thing. Sometimes they still don't get it even if you spell it out. My parents are exactly like that, that's why they're more or less dead to me.

Said it before, I'll say it again: some people should not be allowed to be parents.

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy
They don't realize a damn thing. Sometimes they still don't get it even if you spell it out. My parents are exactly like that, that's why they're more or less dead to me.

Said it before, I'll say it again: some people should not be allowed to be parents.

I am so sorry to hear that fishy 😢. It must have made you angry?

You are right, some people should not be allowed, and where is the means testing? Why is anyone allowed to become parents

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy
They don't realize a damn thing. Sometimes they still don't get it even if you spell it out. My parents are exactly like that, that's why they're more or less dead to me.

Said it before, I'll say it again: some people should not be allowed to be parents.

I am so sorry to hear that fishy 😢. It must have made you angry?

You are right, some people should not be allowed, and where is the means testing? Why is anyone allowed to become parents

click to expand

It pisses me off NOW when they try to guilt-trip me for ignoring them, but other than that they lost their right to call themselves my parents 20 years ago. I don't need or want them now. I'm just flabbergasted at some people's audacity.

You don't hear my parents' generation bitching about how their parents weren't there for them.. and you know they had it fcking hard and they never got half the attention generation X got.

I blame all these child psychologists and 'best way to raise your kid' know-it-alls that popped up around the age of Aquarius. They've done more damage to kids than any good ol fashioned ass whooping ever had. In fact that's part of the missing puzzle, I've said this all along... if parents these days knew how to 'lay their hands' on their kids without being neurotic wrecks about it their kids would have never felt neglected. Mark my words.

But no, the baby boomers let their kids raise themselves, make their own decisions and mistakes long before they were ready for it... and what you get is "mommy wasn't there for me". No mommy was there, only in the background.. watching you raise yourself.

Posted by MyStarsShine
A girl in the same class as our lad has been having anxiety and panic attacks at school. She was in my house a while back and i noticed how uneasy she was...

Her mother and father split up...her mother met an old lover from years ago and became totally besotted with him...they are now living together. Some time after, the father got himself a woman.

I meet the mother from time to time in town...she is very nice to talk to, but very freedom loving ... age of Aquarius and all that and it is obvious she puts the lover first. The last time i saw her i asked how her daughter was and she said, *not good at all, i am taking her for counselling*. She then told me she had said to her mother *you aren't there for me*

Well i thought it was pretty obvious, but the mother had to have it spelt out to her. The girl needs her mum and dad...she is a teenager....that alone is difficult. They don't want to see their parents acting like teenagers..

I am wondering, why do parents put their lives first over their children's? I am also wondering, do they realize what damage they are causing

?

Nope she doesn't know what she is doing to her daughter. When a woman finds love all she sees is stars in her eyes, her heart skips a beat, and well, SEX trumps the daughter. That's all she wants from the man (tie all this up and add a pink bow to it w/matching string). Sex, sex, sex, sex! Sigh!!! I have a son that's 10 yrs old and I only had one bf that didn't work out. I NEVER excluded my son. As a matter of fact, my ex-bf (Saggy) chastised my son and I put a stop to it! My ex-bf did this (chastised my son) at MY house! Oh, no sir! I broke up w/my ex-bf that same night!!!! I CHOSE to speak up for my son; I CHOSE not to allow a 48 year old man to BUTT into my parenting MY son! I.E., my son wanted a snack; son ASKED me, "Mom, can I have this?" (my pudding from last night's dinner; dessert). I said, "Sure!". What did my ex-bf (Saggy Mr. BUTT-IN-SKIE say?), "You're letting him have that before we eat dinner? When I was growing up we ate dinner and THEN dessert". My POOR son handed back the dessert and I took the dessert STILL in his hands and twirled my kiddo up to the stairs and I told him, "Go upstairs to your room, I want to talk to David" Boy did I let him (ex-bf) have it! Fist of all, I PAID for the dinner WE had the night before. Since I'm Piscean I DO NOT play tit-for-tat and I could have told David I paid for dinner, but God doesn't want us to fight for the food since I prayed for the food before we eat (I'm Catholic). THEN David tells me my son is spoiled because he had his own phone. Grrrrrr 😡

Morale of the story? SEX! Women fight for the d*ck instead of opening her eyes on how she is IGNORING her daughter! Not allot of women like me, will FIGHT for their child! I am like the mother lioness! DO NOT MESS WITH MY CUB!!! 😡

Hope that helps answer your question, Star, from a Piscean's point of view. 🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by enfant_terrible
You don't hear my parents' generation bitching about how their parents weren't there for them.. and you know they had it fcking hard and they never got half the attention generation X got.

I blame all these child psychologists and 'best way to raise your kid' know-it-alls that popped up around the age of Aquarius. They've done more damage to kids than any good ol fashioned ass whooping ever had. In fact that's part of the missing puzzle, I've said this all along... if parents these days knew how to 'lay their hands' on their kids without being neurotic wrecks about it their kids would have never felt neglected. Mark my words.

But no, the baby boomers let their kids raise themselves, make their own decisions and mistakes long before they were ready for it... and what you get is "mommy wasn't there for me". No mommy was there, only in the background.. watching you raise yourself.

If they're fucking things up as parents NOW, then obviously THEIR parents got it wrong. A child's psyche is far more sensitive than you realize, even the slightest thing can make a lifelong-lasting difference. That's got nothing to do with entitlement or mindset, it manifests over time and often the child has no idea what started it or if it even is a problem.

And the parents' job IS to raise their children. If they have no intention of raising their children, then they SHOULDN'T HAVE children to begin with.

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by MyStarsShine
A girl in the same class as our lad has been having anxiety and panic attacks at school. She was in my house a while back and i noticed how uneasy she was...

Her mother and father split up...her mother met an old lover from years ago and became totally besotted with him...they are now living together. Some time after, the father got himself a woman.

I meet the mother from time to time in town...she is very nice to talk to, but very freedom loving ... age of Aquarius and all that and it is obvious she puts the lover first. The last time i saw her i asked how her daughter was and she said, *not good at all, i am taking her for counselling*. She then told me she had said to her mother *you aren't there for me*

Well i thought it was pretty obvious, but the mother had to have it spelt out to her. The girl needs her mum and dad...she is a teenager....that alone is difficult. They don't want to see their parents acting like teenagers..

I am wondering, why do parents put their lives first over their children's? I am also wondering, do they realize what damage they are causing

?

Nope she doesn't know what she is doing to her daughter. When a woman finds love all she sees is stars in her eyes, her heart skips a beat, and well, SEX trumps the daughter. That's all she wants from the man (tie all this up and add a pink bow to it w/matching string). Sex, sex, sex, sex! Sigh!!! I have a son that's 10 yrs old and I only had one bf that didn't work out. I NEVER excluded my son. As a matter of fact, my ex-bf (Saggy) chastised my son and I put a stop to it! My ex-bf did this (chastised my son) at MY house! Oh, no sir! I broke up w/my ex-bf that same night!!!! I CHOSE to speak up for my son; I CHOSE not to allow a 48 year old man to BUTT into my parenting MY son! I.E., my son wanted a snack; son ASKED me, "Mom, can I have this?" (my pudding from last night's dinner; dessert). I said, "Sure!". What did my ex-bf (Saggy Mr. BUTT-IN-SKIE say?), "You're letting him have that before we eat dinner? When I was growing up we ate dinner and THEN dessert". My POOR son handed back the dessert and I took the dessert STILL in his hands and twirled my kiddo up to the stairs and I told him, "Go upstairs to your room, I want to talk to David" Boy did I let him (ex-bf) have it! Fist of all, I PAID for the dinner WE had the night before. Since I'm Piscean I DO NOT play tit-for-tat and I could have told David I paid for dinner, but God doesn't want us to fight for the food since I prayed for the food before we eat (I'm Catholic). THEN David tells me my son is spoiled because he had his own phone. Grrrrrr 😡

Morale of the story? SEX! Women fight for the d*ck instead of opening her eyes on how she is IGNORING her daughter! Not allot of women like me, will FIGHT for their child! I am like the mother lioness! DO NOT MESS WITH MY CUB!!! 😡

Hope that helps answer your question, Star, from a Piscean's point of view. 🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

click to expand

Jezzz, what an overreaction! He just wanted to say your son is spoiling his appetite...a thing I've heard 1000 time myself, not just from my parents, but also from my partners who grew up listening to this concern.

Posted by Undine

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by MyStarsShine
A girl in the same class as our lad has been having anxiety and panic attacks at school. She was in my house a while back and i noticed how uneasy she was...

Her mother and father split up...her mother met an old lover from years ago and became totally besotted with him...they are now living together. Some time after, the father got himself a woman.

I meet the mother from time to time in town...she is very nice to talk to, but very freedom loving ... age of Aquarius and all that and it is obvious she puts the lover first. The last time i saw her i asked how her daughter was and she said, *not good at all, i am taking her for counselling*. She then told me she had said to her mother *you aren't there for me*

Well i thought it was pretty obvious, but the mother had to have it spelt out to her. The girl needs her mum and dad...she is a teenager....that alone is difficult. They don't want to see their parents acting like teenagers..

I am wondering, why do parents put their lives first over their children's? I am also wondering, do they realize what damage they are causing

?

Nope she doesn't know what she is doing to her daughter. When a woman finds love all she sees is stars in her eyes, her heart skips a beat, and well, SEX trumps the daughter. That's all she wants from the man (tie all this up and add a pink bow to it w/matching string). Sex, sex, sex, sex! Sigh!!! I have a son that's 10 yrs old and I only had one bf that didn't work out. I NEVER excluded my son. As a matter of fact, my ex-bf (Saggy) chastised my son and I put a stop to it! My ex-bf did this (chastised my son) at MY house! Oh, no sir! I broke up w/my ex-bf that same night!!!! I CHOSE to speak up for my son; I CHOSE not to allow a 48 year old man to BUTT into my parenting MY son! I.E., my son wanted a snack; son ASKED me, "Mom, can I have this?" (my pudding from last night's dinner; dessert). I said, "Sure!". What did my ex-bf (Saggy Mr. BUTT-IN-SKIE say?), "You're letting him have that before we eat dinner? When I was growing up we ate dinner and THEN dessert". My POOR son handed back the dessert and I took the dessert STILL in his hands and twirled my kiddo up to the stairs and I told him, "Go upstairs to your room, I want to talk to David" Boy did I let him (ex-bf) have it! Fist of all, I PAID for the dinner WE had the night before. Since I'm Piscean I DO NOT play tit-for-tat and I could have told David I paid for dinner, but God doesn't want us to fight for the food since I prayed for the food before we eat (I'm Catholic). THEN David tells me my son is spoiled because he had his own phone. Grrrrrr 😡

Morale of the story? SEX! Women fight for the d*ck instead of opening her eyes on how she is IGNORING her daughter! Not allot of women like me, will FIGHT for their child! I am like the mother lioness! DO NOT MESS WITH MY CUB!!! 😡

Hope that helps answer your question, Star, from a Piscean's point of view. 🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Jezzz, what an overreaction! He just wanted to say your son is spoiling his appetite...a thing I've heard 1000 time myself, not just from my parents, but also from my partners who grew up listening to this concern.

click to expand

NOPE 😡 yet again, You as a DXPNETer, are wrong! You weren't the fly on the wall. David (Saggy) was playing tit-for-tat. David said, "Stefan is spoiled because at his age I NEVER had a phone. He's too young to have a phone!". This is what playing tit-for-tat means! Read the above post and stick the "Geez, what an over reaction!" He meant to say he would spoil his appetite! NOPE. Again, you're WRONG! 😡 Thank you for playing at DXPNET.

Cyber hugs! 🤗

Love,

Eva

Posted by MyStarsShine
A girl in the same class as our lad has been having anxiety and panic attacks at school. She was in my house a while back and i noticed how uneasy she was...

Her mother and father split up...her mother met an old lover from years ago and became totally besotted with him...they are now living together. Some time after, the father got himself a woman.

I meet the mother from time to time in town...she is very nice to talk to, but very freedom loving ... age of Aquarius and all that and it is obvious she puts the lover first. The last time i saw her i asked how her daughter was and she said, *not good at all, i am taking her for counselling*. She then told me she had said to her mother *you aren't there for me*

Well i thought it was pretty obvious, but the mother had to have it spelt out to her. The girl needs her mum and dad...she is a teenager....that alone is difficult. They don't want to see their parents acting like teenagers..

I am wondering, why do parents put their lives first over their children's? I am also wondering, do they realize what damage they are causing

?

because they were children having children and it happens and they are just perpetuating the misery but don't even know it cause they are immature and selfish themselves and should never have had children in the first place

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy

If they're fucking things up as parents NOW, then obviously THEIR parents got it wrong. .

Let me stop you there bc usually these things skip a generation. Someone who's been wronged will try and not to make the same mistakes their parents did, so they raise perfect spoiled little psychopaths. No such thing as perfection as far as parenting goes, one good move usually rules the other out.

Your part as a responsible adult is learning about your parents and why they were the way they were, see them as people, understand them so you can forgive their mistakes. Being the bigger person. I strongly believe it's a huge part of having had parents > just as being a parent means you can't blame your kids for jackshit.

I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy

If they're fucking things up as parents NOW, then obviously THEIR parents got it wrong. .

Let me stop you there bc usually these things skip a generation. Someone who's been wronged will try and not to make the same mistakes their parents did, so they raise perfect spoiled little psychopaths. No such thing as perfection as far as parenting goes, one good move usually rules the other out.

Your part as a responsible adult is learning about your parents and why they were the way they were, see them as people, understand them so you can forgive their mistakes. Being the bigger person. I strongly believe it's a huge part of having had parents > just as being a parent means you can't blame your kids for jackshit.

click to expand

Oh nononononono definitely didn't skip anything as far as I'm concerned. And I'm speaking from personal experience as well, where the parents were supposed to have a rough upbringing and didn't learn from it because they simply weren't parent-oriented. They did what they thought worked for THEM back in the day.....which turned out to be 100% wrong.

As far as raising psychopaths......well I'm 6-7 weeks away from my 32nd birthday and I haven't killed anyone yet. I'll let you know when I do. As far spoiling me........it was more like grooming me as a weapon against each other. I was the tennis ball and they had the rackets. They didn't care that in the process I lost the ability to feel much of anything anymore, and what little I do feel is magnified 1000 times to the point where it makes me suicidal (loving someone).

And when you DO try to point out the mistakes they made, they instead blame each other and refuse to take responsibility. Like I said, some people should be banned from having children.

I grew up with a lot of restrictions about getting the things I wanted. Parents only bought us the bare essentials and gave us just enough affection not to starve. And I'm not complaining here about the REAL mistakes they made! Tough love is what builds character and strength. I have learned a lot as a child how to handle different situations and never been spoilt. And this is what made me the person I am today and proud of.

The "give-it-to-me for free, drive-me-around-all day, spin-your-life-around-myself, grant-me-every-whish and teach-me-no-boundaries" generation is what we should worry about!

Posted by Plague
So if a child is raised in a violent home with a sociopathic father who constantly puts them down, insults them, and calls them trash from the time they were a child it's the kids fault it has issues as an adult? Yeah no.

I'm quite functioning for someone who's mother was physically abused whilst she was pregnant. Everyone handles everything different as a child. To stear towards "it's your fault you can't function " is hilarious because you all saying those things are inside the mind of all those kids. Right

Excuse me but you are off topic.

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by enfant_terrible
You don't hear my parents' generation bitching about how their parents weren't there for them.. and you know they had it fcking hard and they never got half the attention generation X got.

I blame all these child psychologists and 'best way to raise your kid' know-it-alls that popped up around the age of Aquarius. They've done more damage to kids than any good ol fashioned ass whooping ever had. In fact that's part of the missing puzzle, I've said this all along... if parents these days knew how to 'lay their hands' on their kids without being neurotic wrecks about it their kids would have never felt neglected. Mark my words.

But no, the baby boomers let their kids raise themselves, make their own decisions and mistakes long before they were ready for it... and what you get is "mommy wasn't there for me". No mommy was there, only in the background.. watching you raise yourself.

My parents whooped my ass all the time from when I was born to when I was 16. My grandpa did too lol it turned me into a fine man definitely. I have great values my father taught me and kindness to others that my mother taught me. I've learned patience and keeping a clear mind from my grandfather and forgiveness and fortitude from my family line. A good ass whooping is really the key. The only bitching my parents did was "oohh you are so lucky we aren't living in China, or Laos. We would throw you in the streets so fast or sell you to so and so" whenever I was bad like getting a C on my report cards or getting caught talking in school.

click to expand

Let us see you 20 years down the line.

Posted by Undine
I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

I totally agree with you Undine

Some of the guys in our lad's class, totally useless. Can't cook, build a fire, look after themselves becase their mothers have turned them into dependent fools

What I was talking about was neglecting your kids for your lovers, booze, drugs etc....if you are there for a kid when they grow up, they don't feel needy of you as they enter adulthood.

That isn't good parenting .. to do everything for them.

Posted by Plague
So if a child is raised in a violent home with a sociopathic father who constantly puts them down, insults them, and calls them trash from the time they were a child it's the kids fault it has issues as an adult? Yeah no.

I'm quite functioning for someone who's mother was physically abused whilst she was pregnant. Everyone handles everything different as a child. To stear towards "it's your fault you can't function " is hilarious because you all saying those things are inside the mind of all those kids. Right

Sorry for what you went through



😢

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Undine
I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

I totally agree with you Undine

Some of the guys in our lad's class, totally useless. Can't cook, build a fire, look after themselves becase their mothers have turned them into dependent fools

What I was talking about was neglecting your kids for your lovers, booze, drugs etc....if you are there for a kid when they grow up, they don't feel needy of you as they enter adulthood.

That isn't good parenting .. to do everything for them.

click to expand

I didn't see any booze and drugs....just a teenager who is jealous of her mother's newly found happiness and tries to guilt-trip her. I am sure the teeny whinny is not abandoned, is she? She has a roof over her head, food to eat and someone who lives with her and worries about her! What does she want more? That her mother gives up her new partner, to have her all by herself? How selfish is that child?

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Undine

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by enfant_terrible
You don't hear my parents' generation bitching about how their parents weren't there for them.. and you know they had it fcking hard and they never got half the attention generation X got.

I blame all these child psychologists and 'best way to raise your kid' know-it-alls that popped up around the age of Aquarius. They've done more damage to kids than any good ol fashioned ass whooping ever had. In fact that's part of the missing puzzle, I've said this all along... if parents these days knew how to 'lay their hands' on their kids without being neurotic wrecks about it their kids would have never felt neglected. Mark my words.

But no, the baby boomers let their kids raise themselves, make their own decisions and mistakes long before they were ready for it... and what you get is "mommy wasn't there for me". No mommy was there, only in the background.. watching you raise yourself.

My parents whooped my ass all the time from when I was born to when I was 16. My grandpa did too lol it turned me into a fine man definitely. I have great values my father taught me and kindness to others that my mother taught me. I've learned patience and keeping a clear mind from my grandfather and forgiveness and fortitude from my family line. A good ass whooping is really the key. The only bitching my parents did was "oohh you are so lucky we aren't living in China, or Laos. We would throw you in the streets so fast or sell you to so and so" whenever I was bad like getting a C on my report cards or getting caught talking in school.

Let us see you 20 years down the line.

Well I'm 28 and happy as when I was 16. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy in 20 years at 48. I love what I'm doing, I love where my physical fitness is heading, and I love my outside life. Im actually significantly better now than I was before, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Sky is the limit in my opinion.

click to expand

Good for you! Hopefully it stays like that. It looks like you didn't encounter any challenges testing your mental and emotional strength yet, because this is what I was talking about.

Posted by Undine

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Undine
I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

I totally agree with you Undine

Some of the guys in our lad's class, totally useless. Can't cook, build a fire, look after themselves becase their mothers have turned them into dependent fools

What I was talking about was neglecting your kids for your lovers, booze, drugs etc....if you are there for a kid when they grow up, they don't feel needy of you as they enter adulthood.

That isn't good parenting .. to do everything for them.

I didn't see any booze and drugs....just a teenager who is jealous of her mother's newly found happiness and tries to guilt-trip her. I am sure the teeny whinny is not abandoned, is she? She has a roof over her head, food to eat and someone who lives with her and worries about her! What does she want more? That her mother gives up her new partner, to have her all by herself? How selfish is that child?

click to expand

No love, not selfish. She is the result of a mother who always put her own needs first. Meals not on the table when they were kids....lovers and out drinking etc, rowing with the father. Her mind was always elsewhere...she admits that now

As for *worrying* about her, it seems that came a bit late, the daughter has a serious case of anxiety

My father was unwanted by both his parents. She never cooked for him and he had chips from the chipper every night....in time he developed a stomach ulcer which burst and he almost died at 25

Both his parents went out boozing and putting it about with other people. He saw things that affected his young mind.

Before he died, he still hadn't forgiven them....he had three women in his life that loved him...but he still couldn't recover from the fuck ups of his parents...

Wow what a lot parents have a lot to answer for



😢

My father was unwanted by both his parents. She never cooked for him and he had chips from the chipper every night....in time he developed a stomach ulcer which burst and he almost died at 25

Both his parents went out boozing and putting it about with other people. He saw things that affected his young mind.

Before he died, he still hadn't forgiven them....he had three women in his life that loved him (mum, sister and me)...but he still couldn't recover from the fuck ups of his parents...

Wow parents have a lot to answer for



😢

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Undine

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by Undine

Posted by Dreamyboy

Posted by enfant_terrible
You don't hear my parents' generation bitching about how their parents weren't there for them.. and you know they had it fcking hard and they never got half the attention generation X got.

I blame all these child psychologists and 'best way to raise your kid' know-it-alls that popped up around the age of Aquarius. They've done more damage to kids than any good ol fashioned ass whooping ever had. In fact that's part of the missing puzzle, I've said this all along... if parents these days knew how to 'lay their hands' on their kids without being neurotic wrecks about it their kids would have never felt neglected. Mark my words.

But no, the baby boomers let their kids raise themselves, make their own decisions and mistakes long before they were ready for it... and what you get is "mommy wasn't there for me". No mommy was there, only in the background.. watching you raise yourself.

My parents whooped my ass all the time from when I was born to when I was 16. My grandpa did too lol it turned me into a fine man definitely. I have great values my father taught me and kindness to others that my mother taught me. I've learned patience and keeping a clear mind from my grandfather and forgiveness and fortitude from my family line. A good ass whooping is really the key. The only bitching my parents did was "oohh you are so lucky we aren't living in China, or Laos. We would throw you in the streets so fast or sell you to so and so" whenever I was bad like getting a C on my report cards or getting caught talking in school.

Let us see you 20 years down the line.

Well I'm 28 and happy as when I was 16. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy in 20 years at 48. I love what I'm doing, I love where my physical fitness is heading, and I love my outside life. Im actually significantly better now than I was before, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Sky is the limit in my opinion.

Good for you! Hopefully it stays like that. It looks like you didn't encounter any challenges testing your mental and emotional strength yet, because this is what I was talking about.

I believe I faced alot tbh. I spent 7 years with a woman and raised her child, she left me for another man. I've also lost a great career from poor choices and had to climb back up because I was depressed for a while and went into alcoholism.

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Sorry to read that! How did you manage to get climb back up?

Posted by DivaCanLeo
That's really too bad her parenting style really sucks and she will hurt her daughter by her actions.

She sounds very selfish and self absorbed. A bad parent. Your children should always come first

Not make them clingy or needy. But you should always be aware of their moods and what they're engaged in... Activities

Amen to that sister

I meant to say to you before....i very much agree with your opinions on life, morals, relationships etc. I think you keep it real but with an open heart

Keep preaching

🙂

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Undine

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Undine
I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

I totally agree with you Undine

Some of the guys in our lad's class, totally useless. Can't cook, build a fire, look after themselves becase their mothers have turned them into dependent fools

What I was talking about was neglecting your kids for your lovers, booze, drugs etc....if you are there for a kid when they grow up, they don't feel needy of you as they enter adulthood.

That isn't good parenting .. to do everything for them.

I didn't see any booze and drugs....just a teenager who is jealous of her mother's newly found happiness and tries to guilt-trip her. I am sure the teeny whinny is not abandoned, is she? She has a roof over her head, food to eat and someone who lives with her and worries about her! What does she want more? That her mother gives up her new partner, to have her all by herself? How selfish is that child?

No love, not selfish. She is the result of a mother who always put her own needs first. Meals not on the table when they were kids....lovers and out drinking etc, rowing with the father. Her mind was always elsewhere...she admits that now

As for *worrying* about her, it seems that came a bit late, the daughter has a serious case of anxiety

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" According to the Department of Education, which spoke to 30,000 pupils aged 14-15, more than one in three teen girls suffer from anxiety or depression. It's a rise of 10 per cent in the past decade, leading experts to call it a "slow-growing epidemic.Out of the girls surveyed, 37 per cent had three or more symptoms of psychological distress, for example feeling worthless or unable to concentrate, compared to 15 per cent of boys. In fact, depression and anxiety in boys had actually fallen since 2005."

Girls in average are academically stronger than boys, so we cannot really blame school for increased anxiety. Or parents....I blame "selfies" and the social media. Envy, waste of time and delusion!

Ban the smart phones till they are 18, and anxiety levels will drop to those of my generation!

This really makes my blood boil. I'm a single parent and my children are my main priority. Every decision I have made has been based on what is best for them. It's hard when you have been with someone for nearly half your life and there were days when I was down and didn't even want to get out of bed but I would get up with a smile on my face and not let my feelings or mood affect my children. I barely have a social life because I have my children every day apart from every other weekend. I don't care I chose to have them and they come first. I spend my time working, running them around from one activity to the next and I enjoy it. I love watching them grow, learn and have fun and be the children they are supposed to be.

I am dating a guy but we are taking it slow and I wouldn't even consider introducing him to the girls until I feel certain that we definitely have a future together.

Posted by Undine
I actually agree with enfant_terrible.

The generation of moly coddled youngsters is the next generation of selfish, do-it-for-me and think-it-for-me adults. Teenagers are difficult for a very good biological reason: this is the time they prepare themselves (and their parents) for fleeing the nest.

Me and my younger sister were raised quite differently: I was left to make my own decisions about how to spend my free time and deal with issues at school. My sister had all the decisions being made for her and many times our mum was also fighting her "battles".

What were the consequences? I became a free thinking, creative, independent and successful person. My sister on the other hand relies to this day on her husband and mother to make decisions for her and shows far less responsibility....if she fails, she blames someone else or some abstract notion for her failure, and it takes years for her to find her feet again.

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I think older ppl are constantly complaining about the present and remembering "good old days" and stuff.

The "old method" worked for you, fine, but you can't make a generalization over a whole generation. I've always thought each kid has its own needs, so education must be adapted to each individual.

I was raised in a traditional way comparing with my fellows, and I don't think is the best way, I have a lot of things other ppl with my age don't have, but that inflexibility has lead me to several problems.

I think you can be well raised, with some limits and values and as well have a good emotional health.

When older people complain about new ways of educating I always think they didn't have to suffer the pressure I suffered in school and HS, they had other issues. Times change and each time has its challenges, we are products of our time (as well as other factors).

I actually like how nowadays' teenagers are developing more respect for environment, sexuality, gender and human beings in general.

Unless abusive or narrow-minded, I really don't believe parents have much of an effect in the long-term development of kids.