Cultural Differences

Can cultural differences be overcame in relationships?

For example, if you are Lebanese and date an American, can these two cultures work themselves out or will it always pose conflict?

depends on the people.

Depends on family influence along with each persons attachment to their own culture.

not so much cultural, but religious difference(both influence the other) can pose conflict...all this mailny in the more serious phase of the relationship.

Lady M, this particular Lebanese was born and raised Christian. I was a bit naive to that. I thought all Middle Easterners were Muslims. I know, bad, HP, bad.

Yes bad...but was he born in lebanon and how long has he been in the states...how does his family feel about American women...all this stuff needs to be taken in account.

Its the early stages so im sure its not a problem and wont be in the future.

He was born there. He's been in America for 23 years and a US Citizen for 21 years. I asked him how his family feels and he says that they just want him to be happy...

Then your fine, it shouldnt be a problem between you and him...

I agree, your just dating for now...or atleast trying to.

Oh I am going slow, but a friend of mine planted this thought in my head. He said that Arab men treat their women like trophies and don't really see them of value. But I don't see that in this man - plus he's been a US Citizen for his entire adult life now and the influnces here in America are quite strong.

Middle eatern men tend to marry their own kind only and use women of other cultures in the mean time.

ah, you changed your thought pattern, LM 😢

i've only been in relationships with cultures other than my own (i'm non-caucasian)...my family is totally cool with it, so it hasn't been a problem at all.

i'd say reserve judgement till you know more about his family so you know what you're getting into. there are many families that are open-minded ... but i've also come across many ethnic families that prefer to marry within their own culture, even when they've been in North America for a long time already, or even second generation.

Im just saying, but as of now you two arent thinking of marriage yet.

I agree with scrp...I two am of a diff. culture and religion.

stop putting preconceived notions in her head. it depends on the person, not what strangers over the internet think about a culture.

thanks everyone. I left the board suddenly because he surprised me at work again and took me to dinner. I asked a few questions about his heritage. He actually started the conversation asking about my ancestors, so I just went the flow. He's a really sweet man.

look here fiddlesticks....that was already stated.........

He sounds really sweet...he is a libra, just have fun with him dont be too serious. too quickly..libras and aquas arent really that diff when it comes to relationships.

Really? Hmm...I am not pursuing him as aggressively as he is me. He'll pursue me, then back off....pursue me, back off....hee hee...ok i will share this: he's not been feeling well for the last 2 days and thinks he is coming down with a cold. so tonight after dinner (he brought me a yellow rose - i'm in texas - go figure), he walked me to my car, and said "I really want to kiss you but I don't want you to get what i'm getting". I said "Awww...you can hug me" and he did. Leaning in for the hug, he whispered "Oh but I want to do SO much more"....made me blush!

Yup, their TOTAL charmers...much more romantic than aquas though...but just as "flakey".

oh but i was enjoying every minute of it. 😉

I have nothing to say really....just want my topic moved to the top.


Gotcha to look though. 😛

Im not christened and am white. I was dating a black Muslim man for a couple of months..we were fine with it, other?s weren?t but it didnt bother us at all.

That's wish that could have been the case with my issue.
Im Causasian(catholic) and my wife is African American/mixed(pentacostal).When she first met my family & old-friends, they LOVED the hell out of her, always talked to her, never really left her alone.
When i first met her family & old friends(on my birthday), EVERYONE hated my fucking guts,( except her grandmother(it was her birthday, too🙂).They didn't give me a hot-second to introduce myself. They ignored me, i would ask them something and some i would walk away, while others WOULD anwser, but in mutters. Her step-dad & cousins kept stepping in the kithcen, and coming back out w/ looks as if to say, "I DARE your ass to do something to her." All i could do was sit perfectly stiffer than 'David'. I was SOO nervious and bored from the rested sitting & feared silence, i almost fainted.
I don't get it, how can some "christians" (primarily Pentalcostal, the most purest of all) claim know (and be known by) Jesus Christ, but is SO discrimative and close-minded towards other religions, cultures,and yes,even other denominations? But yet, all you hear from them on Sunday Service Channel is, 'OH,how i love Jesus.', 'God is an awesome God.', and my personal favorite, 'Doesn't matter who you, Jesus still loves you'.I seems to me, if you "love" Jesus that much, and want to be like him...You souldn't turn your nose up towards others.

good point, a4!

Well, because the biggest differences between people are not so much as a result of culture but rather individual "personality" traits, two people from different cultures or backgrounds can absolutely work out in a relationship. There are more differences among people in the same social group (ingroup differences) than there are differences between groups (intergroup differences). That's not to discount the huge role culture can play on the values and actions of a person though. The influence that culture has on a person and their relationships with others outside of their culture is really dependent on the degree of individuality that one exhibits. For me personally, the people who have known and understood me the best in terms of being on the same wavelength (which is a result again of personality traits and also similar or equivalent (but not necessarilty the same) life experiences), have been outside of my culture (aside from my family of course). But these individuals were independent thinkers who were, for the most part, open to things outside of their cultures. One of the great things about intercultural relationships is that you can gain a different perspective on life (which is one of the most meaningful aspects of a relationship - that of growing as a person and learning something from the other person).

Ill have this problem forever. 😢

yeah, if music is your only difference, then life is good.

nods head @ Galileia428's response.

My parents are from different cultures, one European, one Middle Eastern. They've been married for 38 years, so it's possible.
First make sure he has an American citizenship, so you know that's not what he's after. It's good he's Christian, then he probably more laid back.
I'll tell you a bit about Middle Eastern men. One of their problems is they have double standards. They can seem very open-minded, but they have been brought up in a conservative culture, so they don't know what to believe. The parents' approval is also very importany for them and they might have the tendency not to be totaly independent when it comes to major decisions. So you probably won't see these qualities except when you have major decisions.
My advice would be take it slow and if it gets serious you have to see the way he was brought up, his family, etc and you have to know that it will affect many of his decisions. Of course here I'm generalizing, but just take care.
Ask me any questions regarding 'typical' Middle Eastern men. My dad's one, but I haven't been able to settle with one (too feminist).

hi, bestwoman. thanks for the insight. yes, he's an american citizen...has been for 20 years. he has a phd in chemistry and has a really good job so i know he's not dealing with an ulterior motive.

if this is the same libran dude u r talking about, you better start worrying about how ur family will treat him. He will manage his family easily when it comes to lifepartner. Sorry if i guessed wrong.

I don't understand what you mean by I should start worrying about how my family will treat him. Bottom line, it's my relationship with him. If you're happy with someone and he/she treats you well, that's what's important. Family should accept that, especially if they want you to be happy.
🙂

i know.. just tat in normal case, all librans will tackle their families. Even in a conservative society like where i live, all my known libran friends have managed to negotiate the best deal with their parents and their spouse. They stand in btween protecting either parties and driving the scene the way they think is good for both parties. So you really dont have to worry about his parents. 😉