Cutting Ties

I started seeing a new guy recently whose last relationship ended (5 years) because she came out and is now married to her partner. He has mentioned her more than a few times and Im sure he's over it, but his mum is still in contact with her and sees her semi regularly, keeping him informed about her life etc. I don't really like the idea of this but my sister says it wouldn't bother her ifirst she was in my shoes. Thoughts?

What exactly in this situation are you bothered by?

Would he like my parents to be in contact with my ex and know that they kept me informed of his current status etc? For me it's kinda disrespectful to the new person. I'm just curious if anyone has experienced this and how they felt.

Screams emotional baggage.

RUN.

Yeah, I'm considering it!

Posted by Sola
Would he like my parents to be in contact with my ex and know that they kept me informed of his current status etc? For me it's kinda disrespectful to the new person. I'm just curious if anyone has experienced this and how they felt.

It's his mum doing it though. Not him.

Unless he specifically asked her to do it.

Have you talked to him about it?

Yeah I know, I haven't said anything yet. It just clicked that she has been mentioned more than is probably necessary early on, and I actually know her name (obviously fb stalked her already)! If it happens again I'll make my feelings about it crystal clear.

He is mentioning her to you in what respect? Because of mom or something else?

In either case whether it's him, his mom, or both...it's a distraction. Leave him be

Well, he mentioned it briefly about why it ended, another few things and while he was at mine the other day, his mum sent him a whatsapp message to "let him know" that she'd gotten married at the weekend. She knew he was with me so that's shady, and ideally he would stop it there and then.

Glad I have a cool whatever mom.

Posted by Sola
Well, he mentioned it briefly about why it ended, another few things and while he was at mine the other day, his mum sent him a whatsapp message to "let him know" that she'd gotten married at the weekend. She knew he was with me so that's shady, and ideally he would stop it there and then.

So then his mum is the one instigating things.

You mentioned his ex came out. So she's gay?

Yeah!

So then talk to him about it.

From what I read, sounds like his mum is preying on your insecurity.

You need to talk to him about it and nip it in the bud.

If that doesn't work, then you walk.

Posted by Sola
Yeah!

So his mom is gay?

Posted by HearttofTopaz
Perhaps they were close. It is kind of weird but it is what it is. Are you initiating activities and/or convos with his mom? Are you two on good terms? I mean his ex is obviously not into men anymore. Like I said it’s weird but at least you have that going for you. Lol

Exactly. The ex is not involved in this.Seems like it's all really a case of miscommunication and assumptions.

I'm glad I posted this here, thanks for your comments and perspectives 🙂