Feedback please?

So reading a few things here had me curious what some here would think about this guy. Overall, I've written him off at this point, but it doesn't mean that his actions haven't left any confusion still.

Ex of mine and I got back in touch awhile back after a couple years of no contact (he initiated the break up). It was scattered communication over the span of a few months and we finally hung out. It ended up being a really nice time (much to my surprise), but he brought up sex, which I turned down. I didn't think it was a good idea at the time.

From then on, he gradually went in reverse- from friendly and responsive to slowly distancing himself and becoming flakier in replying to texts and making excuses to not hang out (even though HE said he wanted to). This pretty much told me that the only reason we hung out was so he could get laid.

Fine, I get it. But when we see each other, he gives me hugs when we see each other and when leaving. He'll even park himself near me, but won't talk to me and makes me feel incredibly awkward. So it's the behavior that I see that confuses me.

I said forget it, when he totally ignored me on my birthday. He has no problem making sure he wishes friends a Happy Birthday and going to their parties. But he totally ignored me when I asked if he was going to make it and he never bothered wishing me a Happy Birthday. Sounds trivial, but it's like you know what? Forget this asshole... I don't need to be treated this way.

I saw a few things about Libras and Scorps on here and it got me wondering. He's a cusp with Scorpio venus too. Via text and other forms of communication, the impression that I get, that I'd initially formed, was he just trying to get laid with an ex and now he's taking off. But when I see him in person, it's the behavior that confuses me. Friendly, but awkward. Doesn't necessarily avoid me when we see eachother, but still acts really weird and awkward. I've tried my best to be friendly and to make myself approachable so it's not like I've made myself intimidating around him by ignoring him.

A couple friends think he's just trying to keep up a bad ass facade around everyone because he acts relatively normal (though a bit nervous) when it's just us. Around friends, he acts like a bit of a jack ass. It would make sense though. He's rather insecure...

Fortunately, I haven't really seen him in about a month. We have a lot of the same friends, so when all of us get together, that's when I see him.

Second, I tried the open and friendly approach. I totally agree with what you said, but he acted pretty weird then too, which I got really frustrated about. What the hell is his problem? Blegh.

I have an inkling that he's got some underlying issues about the entire situation, but I've got other things to worry about, which is why I just said forget it about the entire thing.

Still strange and confusing though... Initially, when we first got back in touch, he opened up pretty quickly and was telling me about how his grandma died and how it had affected him, etc. It was a little surprising that he opened up so fast after no contact for that long. Then gradually to this crap.

Yaay for confusing people!

Thanks for the feedback. 🙂 It's pretty dead here...

Afternoons can be really slow around here 😢


Libra Scorp cusp right?


I know when I get confused that frequently a no BS answer helps. I'll try for that here, I'll probably sound like a dick but oh well...

He wanted a physical relationship, that's it.
What is confusing exactly?

Anything that happened prior to him suggesting you become physical again was a means to an end. He opened up about grandma passing... so what? It was just showing vulnerability, some women eat that shit up. Even if he loved grammy and it really did affect him, his telling you about it does not mean anything, his co-workers know she died too.

His hugs are confusing? Why? We like hugs too. Unless you are wearing nipple spikes I'll hug you. I hug guys and girls, it is a friendly greeting it doesn't have to mean anything more than hello. I've had a few female friends who will run at me and jump up in the air for me to catch and give a hug. It didn't mean anything else though. Neither of us wanted more than friendship.

He sits near you but does not talk and makes you uncomfortable. Um... don't sit near him, move away if he sits near you. Where is the good part that makes this confusing. All I see is a creepy feeling.


OH!!!!

Also, it doesn't matter which one is the good one and which one is the bad one... if a man treats you differently when he is around his friends, IT IS BAD. He can be himself and completely confident and strong and not have to change how he treats you regardless who is there. The public face is most likely the more accurate one.

I'm not offended. I prefer honesty, really. I'm not really that surprised with it all being linked to sex. I figured as much. I had just read some stuff mentioned on the scorpio forum that got me thinking about this and was curious if some of this also happened to be scorpio related, too.

I only see it all as confusing because actions speak louder than words. I see things pretty black and white too, so if you don't think that highly of someone, why the facade? I sure as hell don't go around hugging people I don't think much of. That's where my confusion stems. Maybe it's just a facade to keep the peace...?

I only pointed out the examples because they struck me as odd. He's all avoidant via outside communication, but when I physically see him, I just pick up other stuff. In regard to him sitting near me, it was at a dinner and I really didn't have anywhere else to move to, or I would have, belieeeve me. Creepy? Probably. I also forgot to mention how he was staring at me throughout the night while at a party, but never approached. THAT was pretty creepy/unnerving, heh.

I absolutely agree with acting different around friends. He did it after the break up and he did it after I turned him down for sex. Real winner, he is...

Thanks for the insight, though, Sid. Your advice usually is pretty helpful since it's direct.

Posted by capcsw
whats his sign?

Libra/Scorp cusp.

Oh, and to elaborate on the point you made about NOT hooking up with him - I'm really glad I said no, too. I would have felt really bad about it because he likely would have acted this way afterward, too. All this behavior makes me feel much better about saying no. ...even though it was hard to say no. :p

Yeah. During most of this, I was basically attempting to get things "normal" in a sense where it wouldn't be weird when we were around friends lately. But nooo. He's making it difficult. Forget that shit.

But it's okay. It sounds like he's been on a lot of peoples' shit lists lately, so it's not just me that he's annoying!:p

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I only see it all as confusing because actions speak louder than words. I see things pretty black and white too, so if you don't think that highly of someone, why the facade? I sure as hell don't go around hugging people I don't think much of. That's where my confusion stems. Maybe it's just a facade to keep the peace...?

Him wanting nothing more than a physical relationship doesn't mean he doesn't 'think much' of you. It just means he isn't willing to put in the time or effort for a bf/gf relationship. You sound like you have your head on striaght, most guys find that very attractive. It can be really hard when you are in the middle of something to keep that objective view of a situation. You are calling up good warning signs and seeing through his BS, just listen to yourself. Whatever is true intentions are, the way he handled himself can tell everything you needed to know. He didn't get his way so he got flaky and distant... grow up.

I'm not very good in astrology but I've noticed Libras tend to enjoy affection and are very moody and scorpios have an obsessive streak and can be damn creepy. Combine those and I could see an ex coming back wanting to get physical and then sulking away when he was shot down and lurking.

::::: shakes head ::::

Posted by LibraSid
Him wanting nothing more than a physical relationship doesn't mean he doesn't 'think much' of you. It just means he isn't willing to put in the time or effort for a bf/gf relationship. You sound like you have your head on striaght, most guys find that very attractive. It can be really hard when you are in the middle of something to keep that objective view of a situation. You are calling up good warning signs and seeing through his BS, just listen to yourself. Whatever is true intentions are, the way he handled himself can tell everything you needed to know. He didn't get his way so he got flaky and distant... grow up.

I get what you're saying, but I slightly disagree. Generally, if a guy approaches you for a physical only relationship, he doesn't really think that much of you. Yeah, it's sex, but if he really respected me, he wouldn't be bringing it up. Given past behavior with him and how he's behaved currently, COMBINED with bringing up sex, it says a lot. The fact that he basically distanced himself relatively quickly after being turned down tells me he has zero respect for me. He wants to be "friends" and hang out only if he thinks I'll sleep with him. Since I won't he can't be bothered. It just makes the huggy/nicey front feel like a facade, I guess.

But I agree, his behavior has been really telling and it made it all that easier to drop, despite my curiosity. I've had zero desire to contact him and I know he won't bother contacting me, and I'm fine by that. I don't have time for these little boy games...

I'm not very good in astrology but I've noticed Libras tend to enjoy affection and are very moody and scorpios have an obsessive streak and can be damn creepy. Combine those and I could see an ex coming back wanting to get physical and then sulking away when he was shot down and lurking.

That seems to be the case here.. Like I said, reading some of that scorp stuff, it was almost like a lightbulb moment. "Wow, that sounds similar to what he's doing.... he DOES have scorp placements.." Ah, astrology is quite interesting.

Posted by P-Angel
::::: shakes head ::::

click to expand

In need of your seizure medication, oh critical one?

If he hasn't wished you a happy birthday, don't bother even thinking about him.

This is a time of courtship, when one is EXTRA nice and understanding to the person he wants to get closer to. If he fails in simple stuff, like happy wishes, he will fail all the way. He doesn't care for you. He probably has someone else in mind and doesn't feel impressing you. He probably is a loser anyway. Don't waste your time or emotions in this guy.

Oh, yes, she will waste her time ... evidence is the existence of this thread and how it talks about how she FEELS in the presence of a truth she doesn't want.


Not only does the guy only want the pussy .. she knows it, stated it .. and then proceeded with this thread, as if the guy is suppose to owe her something, when in the reality the only person who owes her something is herself .. such as some fucking dignity.

Instead .. she will embrace this, waste some more time .. and then wonder why she's a loser for doing so





::: shakes head :::

She might even come up with an excuse or two as to why she should continue ... oh wait, let me re-read, I think she might have come up with an excuse to continue thinking/feeling him ....

Posted by FUM
If he hasn't wished you a happy birthday, don't bother even thinking about him.

This is a time of courtship, when one is EXTRA nice and understanding to the person he wants to get closer to. If he fails in simple stuff, like happy wishes, he will fail all the way. He doesn't care for you. He probably has someone else in mind and doesn't feel impressing you. He probably is a loser anyway. Don't waste your time or emotions in this guy.

Pretty much. No, there isn't any courtship involved, but I agree with the sentiment.

Yeah, Sid pointed that out. But thanks for the confirmation. I figured as much. :p All that hot/cold stuff just got to be really annoying.