How do you deal with this?

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by TxOgal on Thursday, September 21, 2023 and has 18 replies.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

When you are seeing someone and they express their attraction, but you already feel more than an attraction, it's much deeper than that for you, but you don't think they feel the same way.. How would you deal with it?

Keep seeing them or keep the distance?

Profile picture of breeswag
@breeswag
2 Years

Sometimes people cant be on the same pace when it comes to love and relationships, other factors are at play here like trauma, the past and personality of the person, so i say give it some more time and if u dont feel a change then u decide

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by MyStarsShine
I think if it was certain they didn’t share your depth of feelings, I’d have to detach…

Hope you’re okay

❤️

aww thank you .. it is not the best feeling, but I know everything takes its time and it either gets better or I get over it somehow

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by MyStarsShine
I think if it was certain they didn’t share your depth of feelings, I’d have to detach…

Hope you’re okay

❤️

aww thank you .. it is not the best feeling, but I know everything takes its time and it either gets better or I get over it somehow

click to expand

You’re welcome

How long have you been seeing the person?

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by MyStarsShine
I think if it was certain they didn’t share your depth of feelings, I’d have to detach…

Hope you’re okay

❤️

aww thank you .. it is not the best feeling, but I know everything takes its time and it either gets better or I get over it somehow

You’re welcome

How long have you been seeing the person?

click to expand

Not long since we started seeing eachother in a different light, I think a little over a month..

But well to me, I saw him differently like 10 months ago.. (sigh) but wasn't showing it.

It's the gemini guy I posted about before, we were friends for many years

Profile picture of Walk_on_by
@Walk_on_by
3 Years1,000+ Posts

Just relax and enjoy it for what it is. If you liked them less you would appreciate what they are giving you more, but because you like them more you're appreciating it less.

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@SassyKiwi
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Depends on your intentions. Are you strictly looking for a long term commitment? Don’t mind short term? Don’t mind a fling? Sometimes it’s ok to let things go with the flow if you’re not in any rush of something.

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Good answers, but figured I’d add on some key mindsets to adopt:

Nothing genuine is rushed.

It’s better to leave people wanting more, than leave them wishing they had less.

Everything happens for a reason. Even if y’all don’t end up together 4ever, there’s a reason this man was brought into your life- whether it’s a learning experience or just for certain life experiences.

Enjoy the ride. People often spend too much time strategizing and fantasizing about the possible future, that they forget to be present and enjoy the moments leading up to that future.

Have fun 😎

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@Soul
11 Years10,000+ Posts

Most will find this counterintuitive, but the more I want someone, the less I give them attention. I won't lie, I actually start to feel selfish the more I want someone. Like my intentions will never be truly good. I'm an enigma I don't even understand. Thus I feel like me attempting to pursue people is the wrong move. I much rather someone chase after me. Then I can jump deep into a relationship, and never feel like I manipulated them into anything.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Depth of feelings?! It could be too much to ask from a Gem male 😄 When I was with one, I saw how he needed and appreciated me, but that was it...

The rule of thumb is if you are dissatisfied with important aspects of your relationship, and it's getting worse, rather than better, you should move on.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by Findingbalance
But how long did it take you to see him differently? I'd say ride it out for a bit, don't push it and see where it goes. Enjoy it for what it is. Can't believe imma say this but bc I hate this word and action, but, patience.

really long time.. he was in my place before, so I wonder how he could even deal with that, now the tables turned 🤦🏻‍♀️ but yes definitely need to be patient.. my Aries venus won't chill lol

Profile picture of Sleepyquantro1
@Sleepyquantro1
5 Years500+ Posts

Posted by TxOgal
When you are seeing someone and they express their attraction, but you already feel more than an attraction, it's much deeper than that for you, but you don't think they feel the same way.. How would you deal with it?

Keep seeing them or keep the distance?

Run 🏃🏽‍♀️

She’s a runner, she’s a track star 🎶🎶🎶 …

😂, just joshing

I would sit back and observe their actions, in our interactions, while proceeding with caution…guarding myself a bit, in an attempt to control my feelings just in case I need to detach

Profile picture of nanochip
@nanochip
3 Years1,000+ Posts

You can’t just assume to understand the depth of another persons feelings, and to make decisions without asking him to confirm or giving him the chance to be open and honest about it, seems immature, reckless, and self sabotaging for no reason.

Profile picture of TxOgal
@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by virgoOPPP
uh i don't get it. there was no rejection so what's the problem? who cares who likes the other better? am i just bad at reading things? 🤷🤷

yeh there was no rejection, but he was honest that it is attraction, and he thinks both of us can't really tell if there's something more to it. Well to me I know there's more.. this is where I find myself being in trouble. I know I could have been honest about my feelings to him, but I was afraid, since he already said that, I don't want to be coming on too strong and push him away.

On a side note, attraction alone is nothing big to me, and this is not what would keep me dating someone, I need to feel safe with him, need to feel care and love, this is what would make me go on, but not only attraction. (We didnt just meet, we knew eachother a long time ago)

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@TxOgal
12 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

Posted by MysteriousHeart
This is the story of my life. However, for me I think it’s the Scorpio curse. I’m always feeling more strongly for the other person and I sometimes have to remind myself to take a step back and chill! Sometimes it feels like they consume me and I’m most likely suffocating them. Usually if I step back and just go with the flow things will come to light. Either they will develop stronger feelings for me as well or things will go nowhere and that’s my queue to move on and to find someone deserving of my love.

I hear you, it only feels right when the other person matches your energy.. otherwise, it's like what you said.. I know noone can tell how the other person feels, but sometimes you can just sense it you know.. I don't find what you said strange at all.. I'm a Scorpio mooner

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@Echo
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Express that communication with them.

There is no reason to leave that out of the gutter. If they don't feel anything back towards you, get your space. They also need to respect the fact you will need that distance, if they express they still wanna talk and be friends, let them know now it is not the time.