Endless
@Endless
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 573 Ā· Posts: 1765 Ā· Topics: 0
How to know if a man only wants you for a green card?
He sounds like a lot of talk. Meet him a couple times and then decide if you guys want to take things further.
It seems like you are in a rush to marry a man (again) who you barely know.?whats up with that?
āMen in LA are a headacheā thats nonesense girl. How come other women are able to pull good relationships, get married and have kids there? Women who blame certain areas for their lack of a proper dating pool are mostly the cause of their selfmade problem. Its time to step up your dating skills, cut loose ties with your ex and get over yourself. Start being more confident, set boundaries and start to cherish yourself. You want more than a guy simply wanting you for a green card. Stop acting so desperate lady š·
It seems like you are in a rush to marry a man (again) who you barely know.?whats up with that?
āMen in LA are a headacheā thats nonesense girl. How come other women are able to pull good relationships, get married and have kids there? Women who blame certain areas for their lack of a proper dating pool are mostly the cause of their selfmade problem. Its time to step up your dating skills, cut loose ties with your ex and get over yourself. Start being more confident, set boundaries and start to cherish yourself. You want more than a guy simply wanting you for a green card. Stop acting so desperate lady š·
Hmmm, a long time ago i applied through the green card lottery out of shits and giggles. I remember i got an answer pretty soon, like few weeks that i had been accepted and the next step is wiring some money for fees and as a show of seriousness. If i recall correctly it was 700 $ , at which point i dropped it all, because i had no intention of following through with it.
What happened to this "point of entry". Can't he try to use that?
What happened to this "point of entry". Can't he try to use that?
Forget about the $ 20k because it most likely doesn't exist and is being used for emotional bait. Money doesn't matter but your safety matters and if he can't tell his Family & Friends about you because of the hostility between your Countries well to me that's a BIG red flag and not a good way to start off as a Married couple. But If you love him then Marry hi!m.
You are really messing with feelings here. I know plenty of women that have done this and miserable, they are older and done it three of four times and their man has always cheated on them, but they always go back for more. Because foreign men treat them differently, even if they think itās fake, they will never get treated the same from men in their own country. Itās like when men go into the strip club or something, the girls are really interested in them, deep down the guys know itās fake but itās still fun. Except women believe words more, and deep down you know you want to believe so you do.
Those women they told me it would happen to me if I went to that country, and I laughed, saying never. Itās not Thailand btw. But I went, met a girl and I came back asking those women how to get married. So I know how you feel, I know how they feel.
Some women have told me they are like pets lol, cos one brought her husband here, he hadnāt seen a kettle before, she went to work and he tried to make coffee by putting the coffee in the kettle and boiling it with water, so silly.. but then those women treat those men like pets... so partly the reason why it doesnāt work, because they are not used to the women being the money maker of the family, just maybe something you already know? You cannot make more money than him and let him know about it. Youāll be the one trying to find him a job, and despite him talking a good game, the culture change will be a shock, heāll be depressed he canāt see his family and heāll be as lazy as anything.
I know one of my best friends got married and her guy is here, working in Mac Donaldās, itās really hard for him with the language barrier. Heās been caught on dating sites a few times. And Iāve kinda persuaded him that he has married a good woman, she went out of her way to get married and gave up all her money, which she had inherited. He understands now, but it was kinda like explaining... I donāt know.. I canāt think of an example, but their culture is that the guy has a wife plus a couple of girlfriends, their entire country.. so how do you explain to them to get off a dating site, when a dating site is a new concept to them and exciting. Donāt know if you should be aware of this. But he is a good guy, I know it, now I see it, but first year I definitely couldnāt tell, itās only since he realised that you work for things in this country and a wife is more than just sex, because you build up a future together, where heās from, guys donāt do that, marriage means something different.
Plus he now treats his wife like the guys here do, heās like a guy from this country now, stressed with work.. because maybe, for example, me, I donāt charm women in the same way as those guys from that county, but Iām more likely to work and get married and be committed, so its different things. Your guy could end up like an LA douchebag, who knows, point is he will change. Itās funny, because the only way it works if he adapts to American life style , and maybe you will be treated differently because of it, bu if he doesnāt adapt, then itās not going to work is it.
And I still believe that love is still real, or can be, even if it is for a visa. Like women fall in love with men because they have money or power all the time, people might say itās not nice or real, but it is, and he can love you for the visa. Itās not great maybe, but so many people out there, say they love someone for who they are, but then the money or power attracted them in the first place and the attraction was built around that, so they want to judge and say you canāt have love if itās about a visa. Maybe itās my opinion but I disagree. Cos youāre kinda getting into the debate over what love is anyway.
Iām glad my relationship ended, she did want a visa, she did love me, but at the end, I gave her money to go to another country, she was pregnant within a month with another guy, Iām happy for her, I felt so guilty before, I didnāt know what to do. So Iām sooo happy I didnāt have the hassle in the end. This is just my story.
But for me, it seems to come down to one thing. It should be about how you feel, 100% , you need to know yourself and be secure. Because women do it because they feel unloved, unvalued, and they think that if they do sooooo much for the man, then they think the man will value her, love her. So they do it for the wrong reasons, donāt think about his intentions, think of your own for a second, you canāt guess whatās truely in his head, some of these countries, their whole life and culture revolves around getting a visa to another country and their whole culture is about finding the best lies to do so, his mom could have been telling him his whole life that America is a world of dreams. His words probably mean nothing, but they could be genuine and why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Is that what youāre thinking?
But what about yourself? The problem is, itās always flawed, because you do it to feel valued? Then you expect too much, you are afraid he will leave, it will mess with your head, what if he is just doing it for a visa, you will drive him away. Then the opposite scenario, what if you donāt care if he does leave, like what if, you do it knowing he might leave and youāre fine with it? ..well then whatās the point, you just wasted years of your life.
And women always go back to the hurt... women who had the guy who beat them, always find another... and you know why? Because maybe somehow you can make the past right, maybe you need to try again, but it isnāt that. You had the guy who left you? And there was probably hurt, but hurt is attractive, because itās power, itās still power over your feelings, women always defend their man who hurts, because the man who hurts can also take that hurt away, itās complete control over your feelings and he can also make you feel good, getting married to foreign men and divorce is like a drug, the feel good and then the come down, just makes it addictive. So be very clear about where youāre own feeling originate? Are you depressed about the last relationship, are you unloved, unvalued, do you expect him to do anything, do you think itās just romantic you have to overcome these obstacles, have you developed a positive illusion of who he is, has the distance and time apart played with your mind, you donāt think you can find a better guy where you live?
My advice, is just walk away.
Those women they told me it would happen to me if I went to that country, and I laughed, saying never. Itās not Thailand btw. But I went, met a girl and I came back asking those women how to get married. So I know how you feel, I know how they feel.
Some women have told me they are like pets lol, cos one brought her husband here, he hadnāt seen a kettle before, she went to work and he tried to make coffee by putting the coffee in the kettle and boiling it with water, so silly.. but then those women treat those men like pets... so partly the reason why it doesnāt work, because they are not used to the women being the money maker of the family, just maybe something you already know? You cannot make more money than him and let him know about it. Youāll be the one trying to find him a job, and despite him talking a good game, the culture change will be a shock, heāll be depressed he canāt see his family and heāll be as lazy as anything.
I know one of my best friends got married and her guy is here, working in Mac Donaldās, itās really hard for him with the language barrier. Heās been caught on dating sites a few times. And Iāve kinda persuaded him that he has married a good woman, she went out of her way to get married and gave up all her money, which she had inherited. He understands now, but it was kinda like explaining... I donāt know.. I canāt think of an example, but their culture is that the guy has a wife plus a couple of girlfriends, their entire country.. so how do you explain to them to get off a dating site, when a dating site is a new concept to them and exciting. Donāt know if you should be aware of this. But he is a good guy, I know it, now I see it, but first year I definitely couldnāt tell, itās only since he realised that you work for things in this country and a wife is more than just sex, because you build up a future together, where heās from, guys donāt do that, marriage means something different.
Plus he now treats his wife like the guys here do, heās like a guy from this country now, stressed with work.. because maybe, for example, me, I donāt charm women in the same way as those guys from that county, but Iām more likely to work and get married and be committed, so its different things. Your guy could end up like an LA douchebag, who knows, point is he will change. Itās funny, because the only way it works if he adapts to American life style , and maybe you will be treated differently because of it, bu if he doesnāt adapt, then itās not going to work is it.
And I still believe that love is still real, or can be, even if it is for a visa. Like women fall in love with men because they have money or power all the time, people might say itās not nice or real, but it is, and he can love you for the visa. Itās not great maybe, but so many people out there, say they love someone for who they are, but then the money or power attracted them in the first place and the attraction was built around that, so they want to judge and say you canāt have love if itās about a visa. Maybe itās my opinion but I disagree. Cos youāre kinda getting into the debate over what love is anyway.
Iām glad my relationship ended, she did want a visa, she did love me, but at the end, I gave her money to go to another country, she was pregnant within a month with another guy, Iām happy for her, I felt so guilty before, I didnāt know what to do. So Iām sooo happy I didnāt have the hassle in the end. This is just my story.
But for me, it seems to come down to one thing. It should be about how you feel, 100% , you need to know yourself and be secure. Because women do it because they feel unloved, unvalued, and they think that if they do sooooo much for the man, then they think the man will value her, love her. So they do it for the wrong reasons, donāt think about his intentions, think of your own for a second, you canāt guess whatās truely in his head, some of these countries, their whole life and culture revolves around getting a visa to another country and their whole culture is about finding the best lies to do so, his mom could have been telling him his whole life that America is a world of dreams. His words probably mean nothing, but they could be genuine and why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Is that what youāre thinking?
But what about yourself? The problem is, itās always flawed, because you do it to feel valued? Then you expect too much, you are afraid he will leave, it will mess with your head, what if he is just doing it for a visa, you will drive him away. Then the opposite scenario, what if you donāt care if he does leave, like what if, you do it knowing he might leave and youāre fine with it? ..well then whatās the point, you just wasted years of your life.
And women always go back to the hurt... women who had the guy who beat them, always find another... and you know why? Because maybe somehow you can make the past right, maybe you need to try again, but it isnāt that. You had the guy who left you? And there was probably hurt, but hurt is attractive, because itās power, itās still power over your feelings, women always defend their man who hurts, because the man who hurts can also take that hurt away, itās complete control over your feelings and he can also make you feel good, getting married to foreign men and divorce is like a drug, the feel good and then the come down, just makes it addictive. So be very clear about where youāre own feeling originate? Are you depressed about the last relationship, are you unloved, unvalued, do you expect him to do anything, do you think itās just romantic you have to overcome these obstacles, have you developed a positive illusion of who he is, has the distance and time apart played with your mind, you donāt think you can find a better guy where you live?
My advice, is just walk away.
Posted by tiki33that part isn't a lie or an excuse on his part, after all, it's the same situation in my country of birth so why tell everyone around and end up in jail himself? I don't see why he has to go around revealing my ethnicity although he has been telling people that he is with someone. In regards to the conflict, we dont personally care so for us it matters not, but the reality isn't the case, so I don't see why he is obligated to reveal everything about his personal life just to end up interrogated or put in jail for it. It's stupid politics that we both don't care about at all. The problem isn't telling them about me, but rather he can do that, but if those family members or friends start talking about him seeing me (ethnicity wise), then another person can tell another and this way it might end up at a higher level so to speak where he can get in trouble for it, so the issue isn't his family specifically but the potential what could be if he says she is of this ethnicity.
Forget about the $ 20k because it most likely doesn't exist and is being used for emotional bait. Money doesn't matter but your safety matters and if he can't tell his Family & Friends about you because of the hostility between your Countries well to me that's a BIG red flag and not a good way to start off as a Married couple. But If you love him then Marry hi!m.
To clarify my money statement. He most likely do not have $ 20k so forget about the money.
To clarify my statement regarding ethnicity. Hiding you is not a good way to start off a Marriage. He don't have to reveal your ethnicity while your both talking and getting to know one another. But if you're truly serious about Marriage he shouldn't wait to reveal your ethnicity after Marriage, it won't be good for you, him or the Marriage. If he Married you would he still get in trouble with the law?
To clarify my statement regarding ethnicity. Hiding you is not a good way to start off a Marriage. He don't have to reveal your ethnicity while your both talking and getting to know one another. But if you're truly serious about Marriage he shouldn't wait to reveal your ethnicity after Marriage, it won't be good for you, him or the Marriage. If he Married you would he still get in trouble with the law?
Posted by tiki33he will disclose my ethnicity for sure it's just not while he is there that's the only issue so that he wont get in trouble because there is a lot of issues going between both countries and from his country a couple of people gave a good score to my country for some international dance contest and those regular people got interrogated by the state lol after as to why they gave those points via text message to their neighboring enemy state lolol so he doesnt see it as a necessity to reveal specifically who i am just yet while he is there. thats how bad things are.
To clarify my money statement. He most likely do not have $ 20k so forget about the money.
To clarify my statement regarding ethnicity. Hiding you is not a good way to start off a Marriage. He don't have to reveal your ethnicity while your both talking and getting to know one another. But if you're truly serious about Marriage he shouldn't wait to reveal your ethnicity after Marriage, it won't be good for you, him or the Marriage. If he Married you would he still get in trouble with the law?
I understand. If after you spend time with him and you want to Marry him and he wants to Marry you then do it. I doubt he will come into the Marriage with 20k though. Even if he has the 20k he may be reluctant to spend it and may wait until his Visa is approved and move on. Just know the risk you'll be taking.
Sham marriages are punishable by law. You could get yourself in a lot of trouble, especially if cash is involved. Besides, why were you engaging your "neighboring enemy state"...?
Satan drops a hint :"I need your soul asap, may or may not pay for it, and have to keep it a secret because of "conspiracy theory" aka someone may open your eyes........but I like your picture cause I could see a wee, stupid, easy to manipulate, neglected cow in it.....and you roll over, fall off your back and risk your life for it!
Satan drops a hint :"I need your soul asap, may or may not pay for it, and have to keep it a secret because of "conspiracy theory" aka someone may open your eyes........but I like your picture cause I could see a wee, stupid, easy to manipulate, neglected cow in it.....and you roll over, fall off your back and risk your life for it!
What is this enemy state talk? Where is he from ? Cuba, Venezuela?
Old habits die hard. History repeats itself.
I think itās ironic your willing to give up on dating in LA so easily. But your willing to tie yourself in marriage to some dude youāve talked with for 5 months and never met.
Dating in LA is not hard. Plenty of quality guys who arenāt looking to use you. And the ones who are will pay more than 20k š
Dating in LA is not hard. Plenty of quality guys who arenāt looking to use you. And the ones who are will pay more than 20k š
Posted by LadyNeptunedating here just revolves around guys who are dating 5 women at the same time š)) not fun. I dont have a problem with dating here as it's one thing that' abundant in LA but Im rarely attracted to someone other than that, I get asked out a lot so the abundant potential is definitely there just not my type mostly or the ones who are seem to be dating multiple women at the same time.
I think itās ironic your willing to give up on dating in LA so easily. But your willing to tie yourself in marriage to some dude youāve talked with for 5 months and never met.
Dating in LA is not hard. Plenty of quality guys who arenāt looking to use you. And the ones who are will pay more than 20k š
Posted by Undinei dont really care for the stupid politics and not going to make it an issue for myself living in a different country that particular aspect so that factor is not here or there but obviously by itself is creating an issue where people know about me but just not my ethnicity on his end...i wouldn't not be with someone based on the enemy aspect specifically.
Sham marriages are punishable by law. You could get yourself in a lot of trouble, especially if cash is involved. Besides, why were you engaging your "neighboring enemy state"...?
Satan drops a hint :"I need your soul asap, may or may not pay for it, and have to keep it a secret because of "conspiracy theory" aka someone may open your eyes........but I like your picture cause I could see a wee, stupid, easy to manipulate, neglected cow in it.....and you roll over, fall off your back and risk your life for it!
Posted by fem_fem_femNot ime. If you spent half as much time on meeting guys locally as you have chatting with foreigners maybe you wouldnāt be in this predicament.Posted by LadyNeptune
I think itās ironic your willing to give up on dating in LA so easily. But your willing to tie yourself in marriage to some dude youāve talked with for 5 months and never met.
Dating in LA is not hard. Plenty of quality guys who arenāt looking to use you. And the ones who are will pay more than 20k š
dating here just revolves around guys who are dating 5 women at the same time )) not fun. I dont have a problem with dating here as it's one thing that' abundant in LA but Im rarely attracted to someone other than that, I get asked out a lot so the abundant potential is definitely there just not my type mostly or the ones who are seem to be dating multiple women at the same time. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by fem_fem_femPosted by Undine
Sham marriages are punishable by law. You could get yourself in a lot of trouble, especially if cash is involved. Besides, why were you engaging your "neighboring enemy state"...?
Satan drops a hint :"I need your soul asap, may or may not pay for it, and have to keep it a secret because of "conspiracy theory" aka someone may open your eyes........but I like your picture cause I could see a wee, stupid, easy to manipulate, neglected cow in it.....and you roll over, fall off your back and risk your life for it!
i dont really care for the stupid politics and not going to make it an issue for myself living in a different country that particular aspect so that factor is not here or there but obviously by itself is creating an issue where people know about me but just not my ethnicity on his end...i wouldn't not be with someone based on the enemy aspect specifically. click to expandclick to expand
To answer your question: "How to know if a man only wants you for a green card?"
You know because he told you so! He said he was looking for a fake marriage to get the visa! He claimed to pay for it. Why did you entertain him to begin with, knowing this fact? Greed?
Put yourself in his shoes. He wants a green card. His options are:
1) Find a woman who wants to break the law and pay her marry him asap.
2) Find a woman who is desperate to get married, manipulate her to believe he is genuine, wait for 12-16 months to fool her into marriage, but save the cash.
3) Find a woman and tell her the truth, but she is so desperate that she will marry him anyway and asap and for free!!!
You are at point 3. The cheapest, quickest, a criminal's dream! Who would not take advantage?
Now imagine that you married him. If he can't find work, you will have to support him. If he is asking for divorce (and he will), he will be asking 50% from what you own. If he is still unemployed, he could ask you to pay him maintenance as well.
The fact that he is from a country in which people have been indoctrinated to hate your nationality will make it easier for him to treat you horribly, and his relatives will agree that is what you deserve. After all, he told you the truth that he was looking for a criminal to enter a sham marriage and you agreed! HE TOLD YOU THE TRUTH!
Take a minute to think what you are doing before you make a costly mistake that will ruin your life forever.
Posted by UndineWe actually talked about this and he said that we will be together in the US, but he will find someone else to get married to for $ and come here to be together with me, so that option works for me now if it happens that way, since that will show me that the g.c. isn't what he was after but that he wants to be with me regardless, so im going to leave him to handle that situation on his own the way he wants, but I wont cut him off my life just like that because I do like him and it could turn to be a great relationship if he finds a way to get himself a g.c. anyway he wants that doesn't involve me. His other option is Mexico but that's another option at the very end. Most importantly i need to meet him first in life for a few weeks in Europe as we have agreed.Posted by fem_fem_femPosted by Undine
Sham marriages are punishable by law. You could get yourself in a lot of trouble, especially if cash is involved. Besides, why were you engaging your "neighboring enemy state"...?
Satan drops a hint :"I need your soul asap, may or may not pay for it, and have to keep it a secret because of "conspiracy theory" aka someone may open your eyes........but I like your picture cause I could see a wee, stupid, easy to manipulate, neglected cow in it.....and you roll over, fall off your back and risk your life for it!
i dont really care for the stupid politics and not going to make it an issue for myself living in a different country that particular aspect so that factor is not here or there but obviously by itself is creating an issue where people know about me but just not my ethnicity on his end...i wouldn't not be with someone based on the enemy aspect specifically. click to expand
To answer your question: "How to know if a man only wants you for a green card?"
You know because he told you so! He said he was looking for a fake marriage to get the visa! He claimed to pay for it. Why did you entertain him to begin with, knowing this fact? Greed?
Put yourself in his shoes. He wants a green card. His options are:
1) Find a woman who wants to break the law and pay her marry him asap.
2) Find a woman who is desperate to get married, manipulate her to believe he is genuine, wait for 12-16 months to fool her into marriage, but save the cash.
3) Find a woman and tell her the truth, but she is so desperate that she will marry him anyway and asap and for free!!!
You are at point 3. The cheapest, quickest, a criminal's dream! Who would not take advantage?
Now imagine that you married him. If he can't find work, you will have to support him. If he is asking for divorce (and he will), he will be asking 50% from what you own. If he is still unemployed, he could ask you to pay him maintenance as well.
The fact that he is from a country in which people have been indoctrinated to hate your nationality will make it easier for him to treat you horribly, and his relatives will agree that is what you deserve. After all, he told you the truth that he was looking for a criminal to enter a sham marriage and you agreed! HE TOLD YOU THE TRUTH!
Take a minute to think what you are doing before you make a costly mistake that will ruin your life forever.
click to expandclick to expand
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