allrounder
@allrounder
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Comments: 3 · Posts: 631 · Topics: 32
I'm feeling really upset about this, so what should I do? (Page 2)
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Posted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
Boomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Also the other thing is...demand is created through consumer spending (consumer spending outweighs the supply). Do you think younger generations who are largely living paycheque to paycheque and who has to pay back student loans can afford such spending? Much of this consumer spending is from people who have accumulated wealth and can afford to spend without comprising their cost of living.click to expand
People who accumulated wealth did so because they are used to spending very little.
Posted by Enfant-Terrible-IIPosted by allrounder
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
All I see is I... I... I
Life isn't all about funny games, sometimes - or a lot of the time - it's about struggle. Financial struggle, stress. It's during those times that your true colors shine through. And he passed the test. He seems like a guy with his priorities in check. He's not freeloading off you and he's trying make ends meet.
And him borrowing or taking money from you in exchange for "intimate time" is no kind of solution to his problems.
You however, I'm not too sure about. What use are you to me talking about your emotional needs in a house fire?
**Now granted I don't know anything about your relationship, personalities or characters, I'm just responding to your first post.
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Using a house fire isn't a great example lol I'm obviously not that obtuse in the head. Personally, I feel that my feelings about this are perfectly valid just as his are too. Not gonna put myself down for feeling this way. And I support him wholeheartedly and make that clear to him, which he appreciates.
But yes, I guess it does show me he is a very responsible partner to have in the long run. He doesn't want me to keep spending money on helping him, so I guess it's his own journey in this case to help save himself financially.
Posted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_byPosted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_byPosted by MyStarsShine"Go live your life"Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounder
I'm literally crying as I type this. But I'd appreciate your guys' opinions on this matter.
So my Scorpio sun, Capricorn rising bf has been really focused on his work and money at the moment because he says he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month. He's a University/college student.
And I've made it very clear that I understand and keep telling him if he needs help buying essential groceries, I am more than happy to buy it and take it to his place.
But his focus on work and finding ways to make money has been eating into our "us time" as a couple as well. I went over to his place last Wednesday and he spent half of the time on the laptop, focusing on his work. And I just laid on his bed watching his TV. Waiting to properly bond and be intimate with each other. But I felt like in that moment, there was a wall in between us. Like we weren't even in the same room.
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
He says his priority is work and money right now. And I told him I understand. But he's acting like he's single. Even if he's cuddling me, I'm initiating it. He's there physically, but not emotionally. I appreciate that he still makes time to talk to me through text but it's not enough.
Because I keep thinking "where's the balance? Where is the time for 'us'?"
I think both of our issues are valid, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and solutions on how to work through this and if you've been through something similar ♡
I was married to a Virgo workaholic. We’ve lived separately for many years ….
He’s still a workaholic….
No change.
Lol I'm Virgo, but with ADHD, I am either hyperfocus or scattered focus. I'm not a workaholic though. I know when to take a break and relax.
Did you ever try to communicate this issue to your Virgo man in the past? I'm just wondering how to do this with my Scorpio man without coming across insensitive, whilst honouring my own feelings too.
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Yes all the time
But work is his thing and not so much relationships so how I stayed for so long is beyond me, except we’d a child together.
You can’t change what people are and do … either accept or don’t, I think…
Go live your life and have some fun…
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Her life, not yours. Stop projecting your jaded memory's onto this young woman. She's got enough to worry about without being told about your problems.
It's alright. I mentioned in my post that I wanted to know if anyone has gone through anything similar so I could learn how to navigate a solution 😊
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Virgal's are the best, I'm sure you'll solve this. You should tell him that you feel like there is a wall between you, someone told me that once and it made a lot of sense. And if you make some summer plans with him, where he can't work that'll help.
Plan to go to limited time Van Gogh exhibition going on in my city soon that I'm fully paying for both of us on since he's financially unable to get his own ticket. And I wanted to go together 😊 but other than that, I'll see what plans we can come up with. He'll likely tell me he wants to spend most of it working though...click to expand
Maybe he'll be inspired to become a struggling artist.
Posted by nanochip
He is struggling to pay his bills and has stated you are not a priority to him right now. That doesn’t equal “workaholic” to me, it means he doesn’t want to be homeless. This is bigger and more important than you and your relationship right now and you don’t have an option but to accept it and support him, and right now it means to stop being needy and back off. If you don’t back off, he will potentially see you as another problem.
When you step back and take a look at this situation, he is facing severe financial issues and you don’t feel he’s emotionally present for a cuddle. Your issue seems pretty small in comparison, doesn’t it? Let him figure it out what he needs to and hope that things will go back to normal once everything settles.
Well he stuck a huge realisation to my face tonight. He said that "if I don't have money, I can't pay rent, meaning I can't stay in (city's name) and I can't see you."
That was a big bombshell to realise 😅 my city isn't exactly the cheapest to stay in, so it's understandable why he says that. And I realised the gravity of this situation when it meant him not being able to live there, but also not being able to see each other that often.. That would be an even worse fate.
Yeah, I am aware now that this is a lesson and opportunity for me to self nurture and learn how to have more fun with myself! Learn how to depend on myself for my own happiness.
But even if my issue is smaller in comparison, it does not make it any less valid to be heard and considered on. Everyone's feelings are valid, no matter how big or small.
Posted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible 🙂
Posted by Walk_on_byPosted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_byWhat generation are you from? I suppose every generation had their benefits and hardships though. Cause I can also name a number of things from back then that today has addressed well.Posted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
They're the ones who couldn't be bothered with making good contraception back then and using it and birthed all of us younger generations of today too, which is the worse part about them rising inflation anyway.
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It really is a hard time to be young. I had a pretty good youth that I wouldn't be able to afford now. On the bright side you will grow up stronger than my generation.
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And I appreciate that. I do genuinely believe Gen Z are the generation who will change the world. The generation breakers as I call us. They call a lot of us snowflakes, but, we're the ones addressing the real problems and doing something about it more than a lot of previous generations who just let it on.
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I'm 30 so things were pretty good when I was in my early 20s really. A lot of people my age really cruised through our 20s. Ironic because I'm ranting about boomers now lol.click to expand
No wonder you're so chill and understanding. You're a millennial not far off from me and the struggles my generation go through 😂 oh yeah.. The 2000s and early 2010s was the good shit.
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
Boomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Also the other thing is...demand is created through consumer spending (consumer spending outweighs the supply). Do you think younger generations who are largely living paycheque to paycheque and who has to pay back student loans can afford such spending? Much of this consumer spending is from people who have accumulated wealth and can afford to spend without comprising their cost of living.
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People who accumulated wealth did so because they are used to spending very little.
There are plenty of younger people who spend very little these days but, in contrast to older generation, their wealth is now getting eaten up by inflation.click to expand
Those with savings and secure income will be able to jump on the property ladder, since property prices are going down.
Posted by Walk_on_byPosted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_byIt's always been like that... the young are full of energy and health and SOME of the old have accumulated wealth. I'm just poking fun at pointing at one generation (20% of adults) as the cause of inflated prices.Posted by UndineNo they need to be means tested.Posted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
Boomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Last I read, boomers still hold a major percentage of ownership of today's housing market, whereas a lot of younger people, including the Scorp in question, have trouble paying mortgage or rent.
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Yeah, today's pensioners are all landlords...they desperately needed this shit in old age to top up their pension...
Boomers does not mean every goddam old person, It means the ones who creamed it all through life and pulled the ladder up behind them. The super market owners cranking up prices. The landlord class who own rentals, often more than one and are able to secure mortgages without a down payment because they're borrowing of an already established mortgage, they then pay off that mortgage with the money from rent. They then sell the property for far more than it is worth to the next boomer in line doing the same thing. You're absolutely insane to defend these people. This young man is very likely struggling to pay rent which is going directly into someones mortgage for the place he's living in, meanwhile the person who's collecting that rent is living the lush carefree life that the young person does not get to live, traveling and having all the fun.
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They're not a minority though, look at birthrates during that time. Also they're the ones who pulled the ladder up after them, they canceled free education in my country lol. generations before them did not have the attitude they do so "it's always been like that:" is not true. And you talk to a real old timer, they'll tell you with sympathy "we've been through hard times we know what it's like to be in that struggle you're in" they'll say it with sympathy. You compare that to a boomer, who will say "We had it harder than you in the 80s and we didn't moan you just want everything for free" When they did not have it harder at all, they had it so goddam easy and had 3 years of high interest rates on extremely low house prices, easy as.click to expand
Well then again, was it easier for boomers to earn enough money to afford those low cost houses? Obviously they're insanely cheap to us now, including their food etc. but is that cheap or expensive compared to how much they earned? Thinking about the Great Depression, I suppose.
Boomers argument tends to be the world wars though. Which admittedly, traumatic time. But that's why they got cheaper houses they could capitalise on, I suppose.
Posted by Walk_on_byPosted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_byPosted by allrounderVirgal's are the best, I'm sure you'll solve this. You should tell him that you feel like there is a wall between you, someone told me that once and it made a lot of sense. And if you make some summer plans with him, where he can't work that'll help.Posted by Walk_on_byIt's alright. I mentioned in my post that I wanted to know if anyone has gone through anything similar so I could learn how to navigate a solution 😊Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounder
I'm literally crying as I type this. But I'd appreciate your guys' opinions on this matter.
So my Scorpio sun, Capricorn rising bf has been really focused on his work and money at the moment because he says he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month. He's a University/college student.
And I've made it very clear that I understand and keep telling him if he needs help buying essential groceries, I am more than happy to buy it and take it to his place.
But his focus on work and finding ways to make money has been eating into our "us time" as a couple as well. I went over to his place last Wednesday and he spent half of the time on the laptop, focusing on his work. And I just laid on his bed watching his TV. Waiting to properly bond and be intimate with each other. But I felt like in that moment, there was a wall in between us. Like we weren't even in the same room.
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
He says his priority is work and money right now. And I told him I understand. But he's acting like he's single. Even if he's cuddling me, I'm initiating it. He's there physically, but not emotionally. I appreciate that he still makes time to talk to me through text but it's not enough.
Because I keep thinking "where's the balance? Where is the time for 'us'?"
I think both of our issues are valid, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and solutions on how to work through this and if you've been through something similar ♡
I was married to a Virgo workaholic. We’ve lived separately for many years ….
He’s still a workaholic….
No change.
Lol I'm Virgo, but with ADHD, I am either hyperfocus or scattered focus. I'm not a workaholic though. I know when to take a break and relax.
Did you ever try to communicate this issue to your Virgo man in the past? I'm just wondering how to do this with my Scorpio man without coming across insensitive, whilst honouring my own feelings too.
click to expand
Yes all the time
But work is his thing and not so much relationships so how I stayed for so long is beyond me, except we’d a child together.
You can’t change what people are and do … either accept or don’t, I think…
Go live your life and have some fun…
click to expand
"Go live your life"
Her life, not yours. Stop projecting your jaded memory's onto this young woman. She's got enough to worry about without being told about your problems.
click to expand
Plan to go to limited time Van Gogh exhibition going on in my city soon that I'm fully paying for both of us on since he's financially unable to get his own ticket. And I wanted to go together 😊 but other than that, I'll see what plans we can come up with. He'll likely tell me he wants to spend most of it working though...
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Maybe he'll be inspired to become a struggling artist.click to expand
Lol sell his ear for cash 😂
Posted by IceStormPosted by allrounderPosted by IceStormPosted by allrounderSo I’m in my 40s now but I was in my 20s when I met my sons dad (who ironically is a Capricorn) and he is a workaholic. I dealt with similar situations like that and it wasn’t always easy.. but like I mentioned, books are a good option if you like to read. Writing, painting, tv, cooking, basically anything that you **enjoy** doing (besides him lol) that is how you self nurture. And you’re sharing space with him at the same time… there were times that he was too broke for dates or too exhausted for sex but I still stuck around.Posted by IceStormYour comment is really validating, helpful and compassionate towards both of us, thank you. I really appreciate that ❤️
With that combination of Scorpio/Capricorn, he is not going to budge. He is focused on securing himself financially and you have to try to respect that.
he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month.
This is a pretty big deal. He could potentially be evicted or have utilities shut off if he doesn’t get his things lined up. He is under a lot of stress.. I can understand why cuddling is the last thing on his mind. Try to find ways to nurture yourself independently… I can understand if you are young, but if the two of you were ever to get married, there is no doubt that there would be highs and lows in your relationship like this in which each of you would need to take care of yourself while the other takes care of their business. (Whether it’s work-related, tending to babies, etc).
You’re emotionally reactive and I get it, I’ve been there before. But honestly… he is under enough stress. And it’s not like he is avoiding you or not letting you come around. He just isn’t making you center of his attention while you’re there. Bring a good book or turn on a good tv show to occupy yourself. Just try to step outside of yourself and empathize what he is going through (if it’s really that bad, to the point that he’s struggling to pay bills).
Scorpios and Capricorns are two of the most laser focused signs when it comes to accomplishing goals. He’s unlikely to take his eyes off of that goal until he is financially secure.
I knew that would be the case. It's why I mentioned his Scorpio and Capricorn combo there, to see if this was the reason for the unrelenting focus. And yes, we are both in our very early 20s. I guess it's a good thing this issue has come up now so we know how to deal with it if it comes up in marriage/later life.
I know it's a huge deal for him. That's why I've struggled really hard on how to be supportive, empathetic and not insensitive in communicating with him about this, whilst honouring and communicating my own feelings in reaction to this.
How would you suggest I could nurture myself? Yes, I know how to give self love and self care to myself, but I'm just asking for suggestions as it's helpful to gain a different perspective
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Then after 6 years, we got pregnant and the roles were reversed.. our baby and obtaining my nursing degree became my priority. (I’m the Scorpio) in that case, HE was no longer my priority and he felt neglected and started sleeping with a married woman at work. 🥴 a big part of adult relationships is learning how to self nurture without being so dependent on the other person for your happiness. It’s unrealistic to expect that other person to meet your every need. There will be a time that you will prioritize something over him as well, and you will remember this. Just try to be patient and understanding with him.
Oh god, I really hope you're separated from this Cap man now? I hope that's not what my Scorp does if I ever did end up getting swamped in priorities. How come you still persevered when he was too broke for dates and exhausted for sex? How did you handle those rough patches? Tbh, my Scorp is in the same position for dates. I'm the one fully paying for both of us at the moment. We're supposed to see a limited time Van Gogh exhibition together soon that I've paid for 😊
I know he's not an arsehole though. He appreciates my offers of help for groceries etc. but he said he doesn't want me to keep spending money on him. He has trouble with accepting being treated on. (I went from dating selfish takers to dating an intense giver 😂). I'm having to remind him in this case, I'd be helping on essential purchases for survival!
Thanks for nicely explaining and displaying what self nurturing is ☺️ got it now. I guess I've got some reconnecting with myself to do instead! I'll report back here with an update on what I end up doing.
I feel like this is the part of mature relationships that needs to be talked about more online within the younger generations. The not fully depending on each other to fill the other's cup of happiness. I feel like social media is filled with extreme displays of surprises of gifts etc. that it's thwarted the younger generations' understanding of what true love really means and includes in it's package. It's some hard self work shit.
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Well at that time, I made significantly less money than he did, so we just didn’t go on dates. Lol I was only making like $ 11-14 hourly back then (before I became a nurse). He worked in a factory and was pulling doubles and stacking overtime, but he is very smart with money and investing. That was always a strength of his. Scorpios in general just have the patience and perseverance to wait things out when we really want something, and I was crazy about HIM so that’s why I thought he was worth the patience. Plus we did have some good times of course. That was only one small patch in many years of good times.
But to answer your question, no I am not with him anymore. I left him in 2018 but we still maintain a good friendship for the sake of our son.click to expand
Wait, then how the heck did you keep the romance and emotional connection alive whilst you were both unable to go on dates and working like crazy? Damn 😅 us humans were made to bond, create and enjoy life together. All this working back to back, it's not our natural state. Having a job was caused by people who said we had to do it in order to survive, not live. They created modern day slavery.
Posted by allrounderPosted by TruemaraPosted by allrounderWomen with high ranking bussiness men understand what it takes. And know it will take 80
I'm literally crying as I type this. But I'd appreciate your guys' opinions on this matter.
So my Scorpio sun, Capricorn rising bf has been really focused on his work and money at the moment because he says he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month. He's a University/college student.
And I've made it very clear that I understand and keep telling him if he needs help buying essential groceries, I am more than happy to buy it and take it to his place.
But his focus on work and finding ways to make money has been eating into our "us time" as a couple as well. I went over to his place last Wednesday and he spent half of the time on the laptop, focusing on his work. And I just laid on his bed watching his TV. Waiting to properly bond and be intimate with each other. But I felt like in that moment, there was a wall in between us. Like we weren't even in the same room.
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
He says his priority is work and money right now. And I told him I understand. But he's acting like he's single. Even if he's cuddling me, I'm initiating it. He's there physically, but not emotionally. I appreciate that he still makes time to talk to me through text but it's not enough.
Because I keep thinking "where's the balance? Where is the time for 'us'?"
I think both of our issues are valid, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and solutions on how to work through this and if you've been through something similar ♡
Plus 100 hours
Looking at the success men in my life they answer work phone on vacation but they will provide
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I don't know what are his dreams with how he wants to end up in this career, maybe he wants an empire as a high ranking businessman. I mean he prefers being self employed.
But I'll say, I personally don't need a high ranking businessman as a partner. Yes, financially stable partner is important to me, but as long as he can prioritise emotionally bonding quality time between us just like I do, then I'm happy. It has to be almost equal/as balanced as possible, in my opinion. I have Libra Venus lol the scales.
Absolutely no bringing work on vacation with me.click to expand
He’s Scorpio cap
Expect it lol
Posted by allrounderPosted by Undine
Does he have a job too and is working from home? Because college students have plenty of time to do whatever they want, apart from a few weeks during the exams...
He works part time twice a week, but they're not paying him enough or giving him enough hours. It's because not many workplaces wanted to take him on, and his Uni classes blocked up his schedule but now his schedule is freed up more for Summer, he's decided to fill it ALL with work. He wants to find lots of other work, like lots of side hustles, in order to make money for rent since his current job won't give him more hours.
That's why I feel so upset. Where's quality time for us?.. I just don't feel special at all. It's almost as if he didn't give us any thought for his Summer plans.click to expand
Yeah he didn’t give Summer plans because he’s avoiding being homeless!
Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounderYes all the timePosted by MyStarsShineLol I'm Virgo, but with ADHD, I am either hyperfocus or scattered focus. I'm not a workaholic though. I know when to take a break and relax.Posted by allrounder
I'm literally crying as I type this. But I'd appreciate your guys' opinions on this matter.
So my Scorpio sun, Capricorn rising bf has been really focused on his work and money at the moment because he says he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month. He's a University/college student.
And I've made it very clear that I understand and keep telling him if he needs help buying essential groceries, I am more than happy to buy it and take it to his place.
But his focus on work and finding ways to make money has been eating into our "us time" as a couple as well. I went over to his place last Wednesday and he spent half of the time on the laptop, focusing on his work. And I just laid on his bed watching his TV. Waiting to properly bond and be intimate with each other. But I felt like in that moment, there was a wall in between us. Like we weren't even in the same room.
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
He says his priority is work and money right now. And I told him I understand. But he's acting like he's single. Even if he's cuddling me, I'm initiating it. He's there physically, but not emotionally. I appreciate that he still makes time to talk to me through text but it's not enough.
Because I keep thinking "where's the balance? Where is the time for 'us'?"
I think both of our issues are valid, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and solutions on how to work through this and if you've been through something similar ♡
I was married to a Virgo workaholic. We’ve lived separately for many years ….
He’s still a workaholic….
No change.
Did you ever try to communicate this issue to your Virgo man in the past? I'm just wondering how to do this with my Scorpio man without coming across insensitive, whilst honouring my own feelings too.
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But work is his thing and not so much relationships so how I stayed for so long is beyond me, except we’d a child together.
You can’t change what people are and do … either accept or don’t, I think…
Go live your life and have some fun…
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I think that's what it is. This is the opportunity for me to go off and learn how to have more of my own damn fun!click to expand
Call it not being dependent on him. He is part of your life. Your life doesn't revolve around him.
Hobbies and goals that can include him but not dependent on him. When this situation is over shift gears and adjust by adding more activities together when the opportunity comes up.
P.S I get how you feel. Wanting that intimacy and connect. It may even feel like refilling your tank and reaffirm your bound & relationship.
The person you’re seeing is struggling financially, and is worried about how they’re going to make ends meet in the coming months. That is stressful.
Adding a partner who is needy is probably additionally stressful because while you’re focused on fulfilling your emotional needs, he’s worried about sustaining any form of life style .
Astrology side, your partner is experiencing stress. Your emotional needs are important but not right at this moment, and your mental health needs are not as important as his own needs right now for a good reason. I wouldn’t push to increase stress right now.
Your emotional needs shouldn’t be met by a relationship as well, that’s a self exploration and maturity level issue that you’ll need to explore further as you get older.
Adding a partner who is needy is probably additionally stressful because while you’re focused on fulfilling your emotional needs, he’s worried about sustaining any form of life style .
Astrology side, your partner is experiencing stress. Your emotional needs are important but not right at this moment, and your mental health needs are not as important as his own needs right now for a good reason. I wouldn’t push to increase stress right now.
Your emotional needs shouldn’t be met by a relationship as well, that’s a self exploration and maturity level issue that you’ll need to explore further as you get older.
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by poppyflowerYeah, today's pensioners are all landlords...they desperately needed this shit in old age to top up their pension...Posted by UndineLast I read, boomers still hold a major percentage of ownership of today's housing market, whereas a lot of younger people, including the Scorp in question, have trouble paying mortgage or rent.Posted by Walk_on_byBoomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
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That's not what I said. I said "a major percentage of owners of the housing market are pensioners", NOT "all pensioners are housing market owners".
Pensioners are about 20% . To have the majority of the housing market, they need to own 2-3 houses in average per person. Or 4-6 houses per couple.
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Lol, these houses and condos aren't equal in value. Wealth also isn't measured in units. It's always in dollar amounts.click to expand
For landlords, their "wealth" depends on how much the tenants are willing to pay for rent. I know a couple who sold their businesses and bought several properties, home and abroad. The abroad one were almost a scam. Another couple I know kept their jobs and tried a side hustle into the landlord market.
Both couples are making a decent living, but wouldn't call them wealthy.
They themselves pay "rent" (interest) to the banks and high taxes. They also pay the agents who brings in the tenants, maintenance and other costs.
Nowadays, the ones who kept their jobs are getting out, since sky-rocketing mortgage rates are eating most of the profits. The ones without a job and pension are shitting themselves.
When they sell, it's the banks who get the most, while the capital gain taxes will be eating 28% of the difference between the selling and the buying price. They saved money all their lives, this is what they know best. Their adult children will inherit everything in a couple of decades...
Posted by GeminiJim
Scorpios are self-centred
That's all you need to know
All these people acting like he is doing what's best for himself.. yes like you say, as if he was single.. and he isn't but he may as well be
So don't put up with it. You will have other relationships. Don't sacrifice yourself just to get cheated on later like Icestorm told you happened to her
You can’t say that he’ll cheat on her. Boy when the going gets tough that’s your answer don’t sacrifice
Will u bail
The moment your partner gets ill n longer fun, will you bail the moment partner loses job and can’t take you out.lol yeah n gems are selfish
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by allrounderPosted by poppyflowerPosted by UndineLast I read, boomers still hold a major percentage of ownership of today's housing market, whereas a lot of younger people, including the Scorp in question, have trouble paying mortgage or rent.Posted by Walk_on_byBoomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
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That makes me feel pretty mad tbh. They don't give a damn about the younger generation huh
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It's the whole principle of working to get what you want in life that they are going by. I get it. But unless you have some kind of start up capital in today's economy to keep the cash flow going, you're not going to get the same results. Most people these days are one paycheque away from being homeless.click to expand
Geez, I felt that. How's your own financial situation then? Are you doing better than most?
Just because these boomers grew up in that type of work to get what you want environment doesn't mean they had to make us all suffer as payback for how they feel. They could've just worked on their own suffering whilst trying to help the world be better without that mindset.
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by allrounderPosted by Walk_on_byWell then again, was it easier for boomers to earn enough money to afford those low cost houses? Obviously they're insanely cheap to us now, including their food etc. but is that cheap or expensive compared to how much they earned? Thinking about the Great Depression, I suppose.Posted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_byPosted by UndinePosted by poppyflowerPosted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
Boomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.
Last I read, boomers still hold a major percentage of ownership of today's housing market, whereas a lot of younger people, including the Scorp in question, have trouble paying mortgage or rent.
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Yeah, today's pensioners are all landlords...they desperately needed this shit in old age to top up their pension...
No they need to be means tested.
Boomers does not mean every goddam old person, It means the ones who creamed it all through life and pulled the ladder up behind them. The super market owners cranking up prices. The landlord class who own rentals, often more than one and are able to secure mortgages without a down payment because they're borrowing of an already established mortgage, they then pay off that mortgage with the money from rent. They then sell the property for far more than it is worth to the next boomer in line doing the same thing. You're absolutely insane to defend these people. This young man is very likely struggling to pay rent which is going directly into someones mortgage for the place he's living in, meanwhile the person who's collecting that rent is living the lush carefree life that the young person does not get to live, traveling and having all the fun.
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It's always been like that... the young are full of energy and health and SOME of the old have accumulated wealth. I'm just poking fun at pointing at one generation (20% of adults) as the cause of inflated prices.
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They're not a minority though, look at birthrates during that time. Also they're the ones who pulled the ladder up after them, they canceled free education in my country lol. generations before them did not have the attitude they do so "it's always been like that:" is not true. And you talk to a real old timer, they'll tell you with sympathy "we've been through hard times we know what it's like to be in that struggle you're in" they'll say it with sympathy. You compare that to a boomer, who will say "We had it harder than you in the 80s and we didn't moan you just want everything for free" When they did not have it harder at all, they had it so goddam easy and had 3 years of high interest rates on extremely low house prices, easy as.
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Boomers argument tends to be the world wars though. Which admittedly, traumatic time. But that's why they got cheaper houses they could capitalise on, I suppose.
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The job market was also different 30 years ago versus now. They can enter the job market right out of high school and climb to better paying jobs through accumulating experience. These days, you can't get into some careers with just bachelor degree alone.click to expand
It's just so unfair. Well that's why so many of us in the young generation have turned to self employment, entrepreneurial businesses where we're the boss and social media influencing/video making etc.
Heck, even I've turned to building my own pet care business at the moment.
It's funny cause boomers still think what my generation is doing for jobs aren't "real jobs" yet they're too bitter to accept that it's making a portion of us millionaires because of it.
Boomers literally can't judge my generation for turning to that when a lot of them (not all) treat us like dirt in their own generational running businesses.
Posted by TruemaraPosted by GeminiJimYou can’t say that he’ll cheat on her. Boy when the going gets tough that’s your answer don’t sacrifice
Scorpios are self-centred
That's all you need to know
All these people acting like he is doing what's best for himself.. yes like you say, as if he was single.. and he isn't but he may as well be
So don't put up with it. You will have other relationships. Don't sacrifice yourself just to get cheated on later like Icestorm told you happened to her
Will u bail
The moment your partner gets ill n longer fun, will you bail the moment partner loses job and can’t take you out.lol yeah n gems are selfish
click to expand
I'm definitely not bailing on him. Like you say, romantic dates and such will have to be put on a halt for now until we're both more financially secured.
I suppose this is one of the sacrifices older people talk about when it comes real mature relationships. He's my first serious long term relationship ever so that's why I'm only just learning now.
I believe that my Scorp man isn't the type to cheat. I mean they say Scorpios are supposed to be one of the most loyal signs who persevere through a relationship even when it seems rock bottom. So if I ever had to prioritise something or be travelling for work without him coming along, I'd hope he'd hold our house down or something.
Posted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by FindingbalanceOur relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
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Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
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Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
….and I agree with the joint account … no no
Posted by Rimzy
The person you’re seeing is struggling financially, and is worried about how they’re going to make ends meet in the coming months. That is stressful.
Adding a partner who is needy is probably additionally stressful because while you’re focused on fulfilling your emotional needs, he’s worried about sustaining any form of life style .
Astrology side, your partner is experiencing stress. Your emotional needs are important but not right at this moment, and your mental health needs are not as important as his own needs right now for a good reason. I wouldn’t push to increase stress right now.
Your emotional needs shouldn’t be met by a relationship as well, that’s a self exploration and maturity level issue that you’ll need to explore further as you get older.
I mean, emotional needs should still be fulfilled by how a partner is treating you. But yes, not completely depended on them. I've been reminded of that now.
But for example, I still want a partner to make me feel loved by them. I think that's supposed to be part of a healthy foundation in a romantic relationship. So partners should still naturally fulfill your emotional needs in a relationship in some way. But again, not dependent on it. I think that's the point you're making too, right?
Coming from a narcissistic abusive upbringing by my mother, I think it's one of my lessons to learn through life. My emotional maturity and need to nurture myself ❤️
Posted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by FindingbalanceOur relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
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I agree that I need to be there for him more sympathetically. But ignoring talking about emotions is really bad as well. Suppressing emotions and feeling like you can't talk to your partner about when you're feeling bad is what can kill a relationship also, in my opinion.
Ignoring and avoiding emotions like that is exactly what's caused today's generational problem of mental health.
The "just deal with it and swallow it down" mentality of boomers never worked, because humans feel shit, we need to talk about it. My generation are changing that.
Why is it a problem that people who worked like hell for their money spend it the way they want? Jealous much?
Posted by LostthoughtsPosted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShineI think that's what it is. This is the opportunity for me to go off and learn how to have more of my own damn fun!Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounder
I'm literally crying as I type this. But I'd appreciate your guys' opinions on this matter.
So my Scorpio sun, Capricorn rising bf has been really focused on his work and money at the moment because he says he's struggling to afford rent and bills next month. He's a University/college student.
And I've made it very clear that I understand and keep telling him if he needs help buying essential groceries, I am more than happy to buy it and take it to his place.
But his focus on work and finding ways to make money has been eating into our "us time" as a couple as well. I went over to his place last Wednesday and he spent half of the time on the laptop, focusing on his work. And I just laid on his bed watching his TV. Waiting to properly bond and be intimate with each other. But I felt like in that moment, there was a wall in between us. Like we weren't even in the same room.
Even though it was only a few days ago since we hung out in person, I didn't really feel like I emotionally connected with him. I've been feeling emotionally unfulfilled and alone. The fact I even said "hung out", should tell you, I feel like we've not emotionally spent quality time together recently.
He says his priority is work and money right now. And I told him I understand. But he's acting like he's single. Even if he's cuddling me, I'm initiating it. He's there physically, but not emotionally. I appreciate that he still makes time to talk to me through text but it's not enough.
Because I keep thinking "where's the balance? Where is the time for 'us'?"
I think both of our issues are valid, so I'd appreciate your thoughts and solutions on how to work through this and if you've been through something similar ♡
I was married to a Virgo workaholic. We’ve lived separately for many years ….
He’s still a workaholic….
No change.
Lol I'm Virgo, but with ADHD, I am either hyperfocus or scattered focus. I'm not a workaholic though. I know when to take a break and relax.
Did you ever try to communicate this issue to your Virgo man in the past? I'm just wondering how to do this with my Scorpio man without coming across insensitive, whilst honouring my own feelings too.
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Yes all the time
But work is his thing and not so much relationships so how I stayed for so long is beyond me, except we’d a child together.
You can’t change what people are and do … either accept or don’t, I think…
Go live your life and have some fun…
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Call it not being dependent on him. He is part of your life. Your life doesn't revolve around him.
Hobbies and goals that can include him but not dependent on him. When this situation is over shift gears and adjust by adding more activities together when the opportunity comes up.
P.S I get how you feel. Wanting that intimacy and connect. It may even feel like refilling your tank and reaffirm your bound & relationship.
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Thank you for understanding how I feel ❤️ I guess my narcissist mother never giving me proper love and affection since childhood is what has caused me to be this way. "Seeking it from others to feel emotionally stable". But now you guys have brought it to my attention, I can really focus and work on it 😊
I think some people here have to realise people who act dependent like that didn't bring that up on their own. We've just had some really messed up parents who made us this way. Obviously, it's up to us to work on it or not. But I wish people remembered that more. In order to have empathy.
But you're also right that my hobbies and goals doesn't need to all be about me and him together. To prioritise my own for me.
Posted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by allrounder
I'm literally crying as I type this.
So fucking what?
Female manipulation at its finest...
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You can see it as manipulation if you want, but I'm not trying to be.
The fact I'm even aware, come on here to talk about it and try to change that and understand the issue from every side possible should show you I'm not trying to be toxic.
I'm just having to mature and work through my own emotional issues my narcissist mother put in me growing up, whilst going through a romantic relationship.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …click to expand
Exactly, thank you. Expressing emotions is very much important for a relationship and human to be healthy.
This world seriously needs to heal and allow themselves to embrace and express our emotions more. Tuning into our Divine feminine by honouring our own emotions without mocking or putting each other down for it.
I'm glad my Scorpio man hasn't gone and told me to shut up like some guys here have when I've opened up to him about my feelings on this. I know I'm with the right man. We're just going through a rough spot.
Posted by MyStarsShine
….and I agree with the joint account … no no
We mean that we'd have a joint account and our own personal accounts still. The reason for the joint account is to have a place to securely save up for a house together. Because I know his wants in our dream house is quite ambitious.
Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
Exactly, thank you. Expressing emotions is very much important for a relationship and human to be healthy.
This world seriously needs to heal and allow themselves to embrace and express our emotions more. Tuning into our Divine feminine by honouring our own emotions without mocking or putting each other down for it.
I'm glad my Scorpio man hasn't gone and told me to shut up like some guys here have when I've opened up to him about my feelings on this. I know I'm with the right man. We're just going through a rough spot.click to expand
No problem 😊
My ex couldn’t tolerate my emotions, one reason we parted. He subsequently went onto date lots of women and now being single realizes he isn’t compatible with them lol. I’m not sure why men think they can have women for sex but not have the thing we most need …. emotional connection.
It’s good your man listens to you, it’s a great quality in a man. Hopefully you’ll work it out.
The men who most accepted my emotions were all water moons ~ 2 Scorpio one Pisces moon.
Posted by GeminiJimPosted by TruemaraPosted by GeminiJim
Scorpios are self-centred
That's all you need to know
All these people acting like he is doing what's best for himself.. yes like you say, as if he was single.. and he isn't but he may as well be
So don't put up with it. You will have other relationships. Don't sacrifice yourself just to get cheated on later like Icestorm told you happened to her
You can’t say that he’ll cheat on her. Boy when the going gets tough that’s your answer don’t sacrifice
Will u bail
The moment your partner gets ill n longer fun, will you bail the moment partner loses job and can’t take you out.lol yeah n gems are selfish
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She is perfectly reasonable. She understands that he wants to focus on his work. She even offered to buy him groceries to help out. All she is asking for is a little balance, to be shown that he still cares for her, that they are still together emotionally
She is being NEGLECTED and that's not okay
So shut up Scorpio 🤣click to expand
Of course it would be a Gemini who understands my dominant Gemini Rising ass 😂
That's exactly it. Some people here seem to think I'm not trying to be supportive or understanding at all. Then they must've not read my post and replies properly. I'm just trying to sympathise and understand his side better, whilst honouring my own emotions too.
If he's refusing me to buy him groceries, then it's clear he wants to figure out this battle for himself. I'm still going to help him anyway, but some people here just see me as a crying wailing self centered woman just because I said I'm crying and I'm a woman. They need to get in touch with their emotions more.
I'm coming from a place of, yes, wanting balance. I understand that I need to work on my self nurturing and detaching from a complete dependency on others to feel loved, of course. But my Libra Venus does naturally need that balance in love to feel loved still. To feel like this relationship isn't falling apart. Precisely, you understand me. Thank you.
Posted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesThen he may as well start batting for the other sidePosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
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Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
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Sure he does ~ sexy fun time please
But that isn’t how things happen in relationships…like when I meet friends and look forward to a laugh and they’re going through a difficult time, I listen to them and let them vent. You can’t programme people to be what you want them to be (hence the surge in robot sex dolls….(.”she’s so compliant, happy and a sexy fun girl”)…
Day off and fun with a sexy girl guaranteed - go get a hooker (who will pretend to be happy, “love you a long time”)
Sharing emotions doesn’t equate to listening to a speech
Wow
Men and >>>>> women hey? 🫨
Posted by GeminiJim
Scorpios are self-centred
That's all you need to know
All these people acting like he is doing what's best for himself.. yes like you say, as if he was single.. and he isn't but he may as well be
So don't put up with it. You will have other relationships. Don't sacrifice yourself just to get cheated on later like Icestorm told you happened to her
Imagine buying into the middle aged dxper woman psyop
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesThen he may as well start batting for the other sidePosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
Exactly, thank you. Expressing emotions is very much important for a relationship and human to be healthy.
This world seriously needs to heal and allow themselves to embrace and express our emotions more. Tuning into our Divine feminine by honouring our own emotions without mocking or putting each other down for it.
I'm glad my Scorpio man hasn't gone and told me to shut up like some guys here have when I've opened up to him about my feelings on this. I know I'm with the right man. We're just going through a rough spot.
click to expand
No problem 😊
My ex couldn’t tolerate my emotions, one reason we parted. He subsequently went onto date lots of women and now being single realizes he isn’t compatible with them lol. I’m not sure why men think they can have women for sex but not have the thing we most need …. emotional connection.
It’s good your man listens to you, it’s a great quality in a man. Hopefully you’ll work it out.
The men who most accepted my emotions were all water moons ~ 2 Scorpio one Pisces moon.click to expand
Ha and that's on karma slapping him in the face for leaving you. The more you avoid emotional vulnerability and expression, the more you'll have to jump around in love because no woman wants to be used only for sex with no deep emotional connection, piss off lol
Everything is a projection of our inner wounds until we fix it.
That's what I'm saying. This world really needs to heal that Divine feminine we all have within us. So many of us have mother and father wounds which is why we shunned getting deep and emotional because it's too painful or heavy but that gentle work on self is so needed. We all deserve that space to safely express our emotions in a healthy and progressive way.
Haha checks out then. My man is a Scorpio Moon and I'm a Pisces Moon. That's why we've been able to have these discussions where we can emotionally understand each other better.
There's our answer. We must all go for Water Moon people in order to have someone who is happy to hear us out emotionally 😂
Posted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
Sure he does ~ sexy fun time please
But that isn’t how things happen in relationships…like when I meet friends and look forward to a laugh and they’re going through a difficult time, I listen to them and let them vent. You can’t programme people to be what you want them to be (hence the surge in robot sex dolls….(.”she’s so compliant, happy and a sexy fun girl”)…
Day off and fun with a sexy girl guaranteed - go get a hooker (who will pretend to be happy, “love you a long time”)
Sharing emotions doesn’t equate to listening to a speech
Wow
Men and >>>>> women hey? 🫨
click to expand
I mostly agree. The issue for me is she's shared her feelings once and wants to do the same thing again today. That isn't what men want from a relationship especially for what is a problem that just involves a lack of attention. As others have said give him space, but I would also add make sure she is a bigger distraction in the right way.click to expand
How me and my Scorp like to work and discuss things is by bringing it up, and then actually making space in our day to have an official discussion in person about it. We only like to properly discuss these things in person. I've only brought up my feelings on text because we haven't been able to see each other for a few days.
And yes, I see what you mean, I wouldn't say distraction but to be an outlet where he feels he can relax a bit, instead of feeling pressure to please me or something.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
click to expand
Sure he does ~ sexy fun time please
But that isn’t how things happen in relationships…like when I meet friends and look forward to a laugh and they’re going through a difficult time, I listen to them and let them vent. You can’t programme people to be what you want them to be (hence the surge in robot sex dolls….(.”she’s so compliant, happy and a sexy fun girl”)…
Day off and fun with a sexy girl guaranteed - go get a hooker (who will pretend to be happy, “love you a long time”)
Sharing emotions doesn’t equate to listening to a speech
Wow
Men and >>>>> women hey? 🫨click to expand
That's what I'm saying. It's the fact my Scorp guy has spent half his day on his work then come to me and had sex with me when all I wanted was to emotionally bond with him.
It's the "get home from work, and release my stress by fucking my partner without putting intimate love into it" mentality I hate with a fiery fucking passion.
And I've been feeling that way with the way he's been having sex with me at the moment. I'm sure it's not his intentions, or maybe he doesn't know that and will get a wake up call when he realises I'm feeling used for sex to release his stress from work and life.
He's not usually like this in sex. I've felt and seen him when he genuinely romantically bonds with me during sex. It doesn't feel like "fuck", it feels like making love. I know the guys here will moan and groan at that, because they probably don't have a Water moon or romantic Venus, but that's how me and my man are.
He's literally expressed his entire heart to me verbally whilst having sex before, not just once either. I literally let out tears because of it lol
So I know how he is right now isn't his relaxed and normal self. It's his stress. And it's making me feel used for sex. And the fact I feel emotionally neglected. But I realise I'll need to work on giving myself the love I feel I'm missing too.
Posted by FindingbalancePosted by GeminiJimPosted by TruemaraShe is perfectly reasonable. She understands that he wants to focus on his work. She even offered to buy him groceries to help out. All she is asking for is a little balance, to be shown that he still cares for her, that they are still together emotionallyPosted by GeminiJimYou can’t say that he’ll cheat on her. Boy when the going gets tough that’s your answer don’t sacrifice
Scorpios are self-centred
That's all you need to know
All these people acting like he is doing what's best for himself.. yes like you say, as if he was single.. and he isn't but he may as well be
So don't put up with it. You will have other relationships. Don't sacrifice yourself just to get cheated on later like Icestorm told you happened to her
Will u bail
The moment your partner gets ill n longer fun, will you bail the moment partner loses job and can’t take you out.lol yeah n gems are selfish
click to expand
She is being NEGLECTED and that's not okay
So shut up Scorpio 🤣
click to expand
Ha! You ARE an undercover leeb. Ypu said balance!!
BTW, he is doing a lot to show it if you read. She just overreacted a bit. He was being a typical scorp in love previous to this. Focused on her. When he had to pull back to focus on not losing his housing, it changed the dynamic and she got upset.click to expand
Wouldn't say I overreacted. Though I guess Aqua moons like you always perceive Pisces moons like me to be this way. I don't normally get on with Aqua moon people emotionally.
But yes, I will admit that change in dynamic is what's made me feel neglected. And why I got upset last night.
Posted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesI agree that I need to be there for him more sympathetically. But ignoring talking about emotions is really bad as well. Suppressing emotions and feeling like you can't talk to your partner about when you're feeling bad is what can kill a relationship also, in my opinion.Posted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Ignoring and avoiding emotions like that is exactly what's caused today's generational problem of mental health.
The "just deal with it and swallow it down" mentality of boomers never worked, because humans feel shit, we need to talk about it. My generation are changing that.
click to expand
Every generation blames the previous one. Be realistic boomers aren't the reason you can't get a mortgage it's IMF and people like JP Morgan not to mention the estate agents who artificially inflated prices for a big cut.
If I'm with a sexy girl last thing I want to talk about is feelings. Not fun and not sexy. Save it for your girlfriends. Trust me what you're going through isn't even a bad patch compared to most people. Why not say you want a cuddle and a bit of attention. Women say how bad men are at communicating, but you expect us to know everything.click to expand
Yeah, human women don't work that way. Nor do serious emotionally deep relationships work that way. If you want a "sexy" woman who doesn't talk about emotions, swallows hers down and is like a sex robot for you, then I hope you already have a sex doll and aren't hurting an actual real woman in real life. Or hire an escort/hooker for a real feel down there, but even then they're real women.
Humans have emotions. And women are the more emotional counterpart. Come to terms with that.
Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesSure he does ~ sexy fun time pleasePosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
click to expand
But that isn’t how things happen in relationships…like when I meet friends and look forward to a laugh and they’re going through a difficult time, I listen to them and let them vent. You can’t programme people to be what you want them to be (hence the surge in robot sex dolls….(.”she’s so compliant, happy and a sexy fun girl”)…
Day off and fun with a sexy girl guaranteed - go get a hooker (who will pretend to be happy, “love you a long time”)
Sharing emotions doesn’t equate to listening to a speech
Wow
Men and >>>>> women hey? 🫨
click to expand
That's what I'm saying. It's the fact my Scorp guy has spent half his day on his work then come to me and had sex with me when all I wanted was to emotionally bond with him.
It's the "get home from work, and release my stress by fucking my partner without putting intimate love into it" mentality I hate with a fiery fucking passion.
And I've been feeling that way with the way he's been having sex with me at the moment. I'm sure it's not his intentions, or maybe he doesn't know that and will get a wake up call when he realises I'm feeling used for sex to release his stress from work and life.
He's not usually like this in sex. I've felt and seen him when he genuinely romantically bonds with me during sex. It doesn't feel like "fuck", it feels like making love. I know the guys here will moan and groan at that, because they probably don't have a Water moon or romantic Venus, but that's how me and my man are.
He's literally expressed his entire heart to me verbally whilst having sex before, not just once either. I literally let out tears because of it lol
So I know how he is right now isn't his relaxed and normal self. It's his stress. And it's making me feel used for sex. And the fact I feel emotionally neglected. But I realise I'll need to work on giving myself the love I feel I'm missing too.click to expand
Men and women - Totally different mind set
Think I pretty much nailed it excuse the pun 😃
You keep lying to him and yourself when you say, “i understand.”
You DONT understand and you don’t care to understand. And now you’re stressed because you’re not being truthful.
Now you gonna look crazy because you’re going to tell him the truth finally and he’ll think you’re bi polar or something.
He’s already told you the deal.
You DONT understand and you don’t care to understand. And now you’re stressed because you’re not being truthful.
Now you gonna look crazy because you’re going to tell him the truth finally and he’ll think you’re bi polar or something.
He’s already told you the deal.
Posted by UndinePosted by Walk_on_by
Selfish boomers raised the cost of living and stole carefree summers from the young.
Boomers are a minority. The cost of living went up because of pent-up demand, and this is because too many zoomers and co.click to expand
Definitely a lot of “flipping” that’s also drove up the price
He told you his priorities are work and money and you told him you understand but I don't think you really do?
I don't think he's a workaholic because he wants to. He's just trying to survive and tbh if I was in his situation and had a partner coming to me with demands at that time when I was trying to get by that would just add to my stress. Try to be a little empathetic because you're making it about you now instead of what he's going through. He might end up losing his home if he doesn't pay his bills.
It's a big difference if he's working a lot just to have a lot of extra money then working a lot because you might end up homeless otherwise.
I think you have to decide if you want to support him and be there for him during these times and accept that he might be distracted in his mind and not always be there with you emotionally if you see that it's temporary because of his situation or you can choose to leave.
I don't think he's a workaholic because he wants to. He's just trying to survive and tbh if I was in his situation and had a partner coming to me with demands at that time when I was trying to get by that would just add to my stress. Try to be a little empathetic because you're making it about you now instead of what he's going through. He might end up losing his home if he doesn't pay his bills.
It's a big difference if he's working a lot just to have a lot of extra money then working a lot because you might end up homeless otherwise.
I think you have to decide if you want to support him and be there for him during these times and accept that he might be distracted in his mind and not always be there with you emotionally if you see that it's temporary because of his situation or you can choose to leave.
You’re also coming across a bit codependent. You asked a complete stranger how they think you should nurture yourself?
You know You best.
Have you never nurtured yourself? Paid attention to yourself.
What do YOU like?!
You know You best.
Have you never nurtured yourself? Paid attention to yourself.
What do YOU like?!
Posted by FindingbalancePosted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
click to expand
The funny part is, he's a scorpio, he probably already knows what her feelings are.
But idk, I hate the constant feelings convos, but a brief hey look, this is how I feel minus whining, finger pointing, mememe self centered crap would be OK. You speak your side calmly and rationally, I speak mine. We understand, we move on and enjoy the little time we do have. I mean, OK, yes you feel that way. But this is how life is. Feelings are understood and valid, but they don't change reality and that needs to be understood. But maybe that's my aqua moon talking lol.click to expand
I have no idea what women are feeling ever
Posted by FindingbalancePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
I agree that I need to be there for him more sympathetically. But ignoring talking about emotions is really bad as well. Suppressing emotions and feeling like you can't talk to your partner about when you're feeling bad is what can kill a relationship also, in my opinion.
Ignoring and avoiding emotions like that is exactly what's caused today's generational problem of mental health.
The "just deal with it and swallow it down" mentality of boomers never worked, because humans feel shit, we need to talk about it. My generation are changing that.
click to expand
Every generation blames the previous one. Be realistic boomers aren't the reason you can't get a mortgage it's IMF and people like JP Morgan not to mention the estate agents who artificially inflated prices for a big cut.
If I'm with a sexy girl last thing I want to talk about is feelings. Not fun and not sexy. Save it for your girlfriends. Trust me what you're going through isn't even a bad patch compared to most people. Why not say you want a cuddle and a bit of attention. Women say how bad men are at communicating, but you expect us to know everything.
click to expand
I think it's easy to blame an entire generation because of the natural flow. Except for generational wealth, it takes time to build finances in order to be able to do things like buy multiple houses. It also takes time to move up the ladder to a position of management, ceo, etc. So by correlation, people who have worked long enough to be in that position are a problem and it must be because of their age.
And, uh, whatever is social appropriate to say since probably can't say God or heaven lol, forbid people understand it actually does take hard work to get places. And that life's not inherently fair, so you can work your arse off and NOT get what you want either.click to expand
It took boomers like 5 years to pay off their tiny mortgages lol lets not be fooled into thinking it was anything like it is today.
Posted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesYeah, human women don't work that way. Nor do serious emotionally deep relationships work that way. If you want a "sexy" woman who doesn't talk about emotions, swallows hers down and is like a sex robot for you, then I hope you already have a sex doll and aren't hurting an actual real woman in real life. Or hire an escort/hooker for a real feel down there, but even then they're real women.Posted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
I agree that I need to be there for him more sympathetically. But ignoring talking about emotions is really bad as well. Suppressing emotions and feeling like you can't talk to your partner about when you're feeling bad is what can kill a relationship also, in my opinion.
Ignoring and avoiding emotions like that is exactly what's caused today's generational problem of mental health.
The "just deal with it and swallow it down" mentality of boomers never worked, because humans feel shit, we need to talk about it. My generation are changing that.
click to expand
Every generation blames the previous one. Be realistic boomers aren't the reason you can't get a mortgage it's IMF and people like JP Morgan not to mention the estate agents who artificially inflated prices for a big cut.
If I'm with a sexy girl last thing I want to talk about is feelings. Not fun and not sexy. Save it for your girlfriends. Trust me what you're going through isn't even a bad patch compared to most people. Why not say you want a cuddle and a bit of attention. Women say how bad men are at communicating, but you expect us to know everything.
click to expand
Humans have emotions. And women are the more emotional counterpart. Come to terms with that.
click to expand
Dog whistle innuendo is beneath you.
I do all the regular man/woman stuff everyone else does including having deep and emotional conversations, not that I need to justify my existence. Oddly enough I don't seem to attract histrionic women. I can have a serious chat, but most have real problems; like one who was raped by her stepfather. She had therapy and got on with her life. That's why I am so critical of things like this because it is fuck all in comparison. I only have relationships with sexy women, why would I not?
I think you have created an imaginary problem because you don't feel worthy; it's called self-sabotage. The problem is he isn't co-dependant and can live without you.click to expand
Bringing up someone being raped by their stepfather is a weird way to dismiss another persons situation, completely fucking irrelevant actually.
Posted by FindingbalancePosted by Walk_on_byPosted by FindingbalancePosted by alexscariesThe funny part is, he's a scorpio, he probably already knows what her feelings are.Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Then he may as well start batting for the other side
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
click to expand
But idk, I hate the constant feelings convos, but a brief hey look, this is how I feel minus whining, finger pointing, mememe self centered crap would be OK. You speak your side calmly and rationally, I speak mine. We understand, we move on and enjoy the little time we do have. I mean, OK, yes you feel that way. But this is how life is. Feelings are understood and valid, but they don't change reality and that needs to be understood. But maybe that's my aqua moon talking lol.
click to expand
I have no idea what women are feeling ever
Huh. Yall always seem so in tune lol. But I guess if I think about it it's not so much emotions, but perception...like you know a person in depth somehow. Generalized of course.
We are a confusing lot though so there's that.click to expand
Not me.
Posted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesThen he may as well start batting for the other sidePosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
click to expand
Just to reiterate in case people don't understand why. He is presumably working hard and struggling financially and she expresses her concerns and feelings, fine and then she wants to do it again next time they meet.
Let's have a talk and I want to talk about feelings. Strike fear into men's hearts. On his day off he wants to have fun with a sexy girl not listen to a speech.
Sure he does ~ sexy fun time please
But that isn’t how things happen in relationships…like when I meet friends and look forward to a laugh and they’re going through a difficult time, I listen to them and let them vent. You can’t programme people to be what you want them to be (hence the surge in robot sex dolls….(.”she’s so compliant, happy and a sexy fun girl”)…
Day off and fun with a sexy girl guaranteed - go get a hooker (who will pretend to be happy, “love you a long time”)
Sharing emotions doesn’t equate to listening to a speech
Wow
Men and >>>>> women hey? 🫨
I mostly agree. The issue for me is she's shared her feelings once and wants to do the same thing again today. That isn't what men want from a relationship especially for what is a problem that just involves a lack of attention. As others have said give him space, but I would also add make sure she is a bigger distraction in the right way.click to expand
And that’s why we have female friends and/or turn into lesbians 😂😅
Posted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by allrounderPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by alexscariesThen he may as well start batting for the other sidePosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
Women not being emotional is like asking a baby not to cry …. She’s a right to feel and express her emotions otherwise she’s with the wrong bloke …
Exactly, thank you. Expressing emotions is very much important for a relationship and human to be healthy.
This world seriously needs to heal and allow themselves to embrace and express our emotions more. Tuning into our Divine feminine by honouring our own emotions without mocking or putting each other down for it.
I'm glad my Scorpio man hasn't gone and told me to shut up like some guys here have when I've opened up to him about my feelings on this. I know I'm with the right man. We're just going through a rough spot.
click to expand
No problem 😊
My ex couldn’t tolerate my emotions, one reason we parted. He subsequently went onto date lots of women and now being single realizes he isn’t compatible with them lol. I’m not sure why men think they can have women for sex but not have the thing we most need …. emotional connection.
It’s good your man listens to you, it’s a great quality in a man. Hopefully you’ll work it out.
The men who most accepted my emotions were all water moons ~ 2 Scorpio one Pisces moon.
Ha and that's on karma slapping him in the face for leaving you. The more you avoid emotional vulnerability and expression, the more you'll have to jump around in love because no woman wants to be used only for sex with no deep emotional connection, piss off lol
Everything is a projection of our inner wounds until we fix it.
That's what I'm saying. This world really needs to heal that Divine feminine we all have within us. So many of us have mother and father wounds which is why we shunned getting deep and emotional because it's too painful or heavy but that gentle work on self is so needed. We all deserve that space to safely express our emotions in a healthy and progressive way.
Haha checks out then. My man is a Scorpio Moon and I'm a Pisces Moon. That's why we've been able to have these discussions where we can emotionally understand each other better.
There's our answer. We must all go for Water Moon people in order to have someone who is happy to hear us out emotionally 😂click to expand
He’s a Virgo man with Aqua moon ~ what did I expect ~ a miracle ? 😂
Our moons are squared hence the conflict 🫨
Thankfully we are still very good friends and he’s still having issues connecting with women…
Posted by alexscariesPosted by Walk_on_byPosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by alexscariesPosted by allrounderPosted by Findingbalance
OK so how long has this actually been happening?
Cuz tbh I think you need to relax a bit. He's trying desperately to make ends meet and set himself up for a good future, maybe set you both up for one. Its not about you. Yes you offered to help but he might want to do this himself. Give him a chance. Don't push or nag. And maybe have a calm discussion without pointing fingers or being too self centric. Last I recall yall were doing great. Sounds like you got used to him focusing all the time on you.
Our relationship is fine in general, it's just this one huge obstacle in the road right now. We made it clear we still love each other very much. But I suppose I did get used to his attention and affection and forgot about giving that to myself just as much lol
This financial issue has been going on for about a month or two now. I mean there's been a month or two few months back where he had to use some of his savings to pay for rent. And he knew he might struggle to pay his rent, but this issue went from the back of his mind to the forefront of his mind since the issue is so dire now.
And I've been noticing his emotional distance since 2 weeks ago.
But yeah, you're right, I've got to keep looking at this from the bigger picture 😊 I mean he even brought up making a joint account together around October-December 2022. He definitely thinks of a financially secure future with me in that case.
We are gonna have a discussion about this amongst other issues tomorrow, and yes, I'll stay as calm and non accusational/assertive as possible
click to expand
Don't get a joint account it's going to lead to arguments.
I've been through your situation as the male. He needs a sympathetic ear and reassurance that you will be there when he finishes uni. What he doesn't need is a talk about emotions and what you are feeling. Men don't think like that and it is off putting.
click to expand
I agree that I need to be there for him more sympathetically. But ignoring talking about emotions is really bad as well. Suppressing emotions and feeling like you can't talk to your partner about when you're feeling bad is what can kill a relationship also, in my opinion.
Ignoring and avoiding emotions like that is exactly what's caused today's generational problem of mental health.
The "just deal with it and swallow it down" mentality of boomers never worked, because humans feel shit, we need to talk about it. My generation are changing that.
click to expand
Every generation blames the previous one. Be realistic boomers aren't the reason you can't get a mortgage it's IMF and people like JP Morgan not to mention the estate agents who artificially inflated prices for a big cut.
If I'm with a sexy girl last thing I want to talk about is feelings. Not fun and not sexy. Save it for your girlfriends. Trust me what you're going through isn't even a bad patch compared to most people. Why not say you want a cuddle and a bit of attention. Women say how bad men are at communicating, but you expect us to know everything.
click to expand
Yeah, human women don't work that way. Nor do serious emotionally deep relationships work that way. If you want a "sexy" woman who doesn't talk about emotions, swallows hers down and is like a sex robot for you, then I hope you already have a sex doll and aren't hurting an actual real woman in real life. Or hire an escort/hooker for a real feel down there, but even then they're real women.
Humans have emotions. And women are the more emotional counterpart. Come to terms with that.
click to expand
Dog whistle innuendo is beneath you.
I do all the regular man/woman stuff everyone else does including having deep and emotional conversations, not that I need to justify my existence. Oddly enough I don't seem to attract histrionic women. I can have a serious chat, but most have real problems; like one who was raped by her stepfather. She had therapy and got on with her life. That's why I am so critical of things like this because it is fuck all in comparison. I only have relationships with sexy women, why would I not?
I think you have created an imaginary problem because you don't feel worthy; it's called self-sabotage. The problem is he isn't co-dependant and can live without you.
Bringing up someone being raped by their stepfather is a weird way to dismiss another persons situation, completely fucking irrelevant actually.
click to expand
It's horrible especially someone in that position of trust. A situation that she didn't have control over. With this situation it's straight forward he's even said he wants to concentrate on work and wants space, so why create a problem which isn't there? People don't fit an idealised mould and people realise it sooner or later then they need to adapt. Irrelevant or not it's an example and I'm just so bloody sick of people moaning about minor stuff, when there's people going through hell who find ways of coping. I know it's extreme, but it was the closest contrast I could think of.click to expand
Lol true, this thread just a winding me up. Everyones in here like this is a massive issue they're having when I bet it isnt at all.
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