NAVY LOVE INSIGHT NEEDED

Okay so I've recently rekindled with my ex-boyfriend from college. He just recently got out of a long term relationship of 2 years, but he claimed the break up didn't really affect him because it was his decision to break it off because he felt it was over a long time ago. Says its no hard feelings or anything plus he couldn't picture marriage with her. He and I dated 3 yrs ago in college and we always kept in touch over the years through his relationships and mines, we respected one another's relationships while apart and just remained cool. This past January we rekindled and its' been 10 x better than we were 3 yrs ago.

We've been spending A LOT of time together. We see each other 3 times if not more throughout the week, we talk everyday, and he's always telling me he has always loved me and still does. I say it back. Well anyway 2 days ago, he confessed that he's never gotten over me, and he was so young and childish but he always knew that I was the right one for him but it seemed like I was too good to be true so he ran back then. But now that he's back he really wants to do something with his life, and he says he's seriously thinking of joining the Navy. I love him so much that I wanted to show my support and he admitted that he didn't want to tell me, because he thought I wouldn't want him to go. I admitted that I would miss him dearly, but I love him enough to support him and that im actually excited for him and his new journey. He seemed to fall for me even more, but I was genuinely happy for him. I just worry about us. He says I shouldn't and that we can still work.

He says if he does go, that I am not to get a boyfriend because he is marrying me and wants me by his side every step of the way and I can always visit him and stuff. He says he really needs me and he loves me. But in my mind I know this will be harder than he seems to realize. He will be traveling and training in different countries 24/7, he's probably often going to be too tired to even talk on the phone. And if im not mistaken they wont let you be with the person on base unless your married right? Im scared, but I don't want him to think I don't support him. Im happy for him and that he wants to do something positive with his life. I guess I just want to know if anyone has dated someone while in the Navy, Air force, Marines, Post Guard or anything like that? And what is it like? I know it depends on how much we love each other, but any info or insight would be great!

Thank you! Your right. Before he and I rekindled I wanted to finish school, I'm studying to be a Pharmacist. I'm planning to get my own place in June, and once I have both I'm good. I have no kids and I don't plan on any no time soon UNLESS I'm married. But while he was away I was just going to throw myself into any activity that presents its self at my church, to help keep my mind at peace and possibly too busy to sweat over it. I read up on some stuff and it said that it depends on what job he applies for once he's done with boot camp that will determine an estimate of how much I will see him. If he gets a job on base, then I'm good and I will be able to see him every night. If he gets one off shore, then that's when he will be gone for 6mths to a yr. at a time. It's crazy, I haven't made a decision yet I'm still thinking about it.

The marriage thing is not definite yet, but he says it's definitely in the plans. But I think your right, maybe he and I should just enjoy our time now and we can talk and still be there for each other while he's away. But I think it might help if neither one of us commit ourselves to anything other than our careers at least not until we both get them up and moving first. I just love him so much, I don't want to let him go.

Posted by ALibra
Thank you! Your right. Before he and I rekindled I wanted to finish school, I'm studying to be a Pharmacist. I'm planning to get my own place in June, and once I have both I'm good. I have no kids and I don't plan on any no time soon UNLESS I'm married. But while he was away I was just going to throw myself into any activity that presents its self at my church, to help keep my mind at peace and possibly too busy to sweat over it. I read up on some stuff and it said that it depends on what job he applies for once he's done with boot camp that will determine an estimate of how much I will see him. If he gets a job on base, then I'm good and I will be able to see him every night. If he gets one off shore, then that's when he will be gone for 6mths to a yr. at a time. It's crazy, I haven't made a decision yet I'm still thinking about it.

The marriage thing is not definite yet, but he says it's definitely in the plans. But I think your right, maybe he and I should just enjoy our time now and we can talk and still be there for each other while he's away. But I think it might help if neither one of us commit ourselves to anything other than our careers at least not until we both get them up and moving first. I just love him so much, I don't want to let him go.

what you said here is exactly what you should do. engross yourself in your dreams and finish what you want for your life. because that is exactly what he is doing. when/if you two do get married, there will be no unfinished business and you can enjoy a life together. there are no guarantees in life ALibra, but if you love him and he loves you, you can make it work.🙂

Thanks girl!! I should print out what you just said and chant it to myself. I just worry too darn much and I cant stand that about myself. Ugh. lol

Ahh the Navy! ALibra, I think we were the match made in heaven! Soul sisters! LOL our stories keep crossing paths! As you know I'm in the Navy. On his part, you should be excited for him. The Navy has taught me so much and I've been able to travel the world, I've made wonderful friends, aside from that they've taken care of me and my daughter as I am a single Mom. I won't lie to you though, and sugarcoat that sometimes it isn't so easy and it isn't so luxurious all the time. As a single, junior sailor, he'd probably have to live in the barracks at first. Unless he is married before he gets in. In fact the Navy just changed their housing allowance policy, once you hit a certain rate, you are entitled to housing allowance and can eventually find your own little apartment out in the community and the Navy will give you the money to pay for rent and utilities. Other than some crazy days, and training and people that you work with potentially not getting along with you - joining the Navy was probably the best decision I ever made for myself - to each his/her own.

As for yourself, I say take your time. Finish and pursue your dreams. I have a lot of Navy wife friends who have had to give up their dreams for their husbands or boyfriends. And that is often something they of course choose to do, it's part of relationships and growing - compromise. But if you can, finish what you've started and who knows eventually you could end up together, and you'd be able to find a job wherever the Navy took you and your family. I wish you well my friend! I hope this helps, otherwise message me! I'm sorry I've been out of the loop!

Haha! AriesGaummie I was just thinking the exact same thing. When you mentioned ships I knew it was Navy but I'll admit at first I thought you were in the Army. Thanks goodness it's the Navy though, I don't hear as many horror stories.LOL. But yeah, check your inbox girlie, we have much to catch up on. The housing change is shining blinker of hope. But ultimately it all depends on just how serious my Taurus is about taking me along for the ride. He seems sincere but only time will tell. And with these men these days you just never know. But you'd better be ready for me to hit your inbox like crazy while he's away if we do end up together. I don't know jack bout the Navy, and the weird thing is I actually thought about joining at one point but I was too scared of going to war. I don't even like shots, so I know I aint built to take a bullet unless it's for my mom.