MsTeeq1974
@MsTeeq1974
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 2068 · Topics: 16
Open Relationships
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Posted by WestsidekodakSee...that's my concern. However, if your relationship is secure and one of the partners decides that they shouldn't lead that lifestyle, isn't it best to have a preset agreement to stop? Does that ever happen?
Honestly, its a big risk, and alot of issues can arise from it. Deep seeded emotions, jealousy, stuff you thought you've never felt will come up.
Posted by tizianiI'm not opposed to that. It's just that with him being VERY social, I know that we would end up in group situations a lot. Now, honestly...if it were the right...IDK, environment or group of people...I could see enjoying it at the frequency that I imagine he would as well.
Lol It's unwise to try talking someone into it.
if you know it takes sone convincing, that suggests they likely do not want it in the first place.
And someone doing something they truly don't want for the sake of being in a relationship (despite what some say about sacrifice) can backfire very badly for both people.
I would say some swingers meetups are awesome because they are. Very few are, though.
If you have some curiousity or 'unspoken' issues between you and your partner, the right group of people and right environment at a meetup can make you both feel far less pressure and fear to just simply talk and open up about it.
if you do go to a meetup, go with zero expectations. Even no expectation to have sex. That's the best I can say. I am not a believer in open relationships. I can say I wish I found a group or couple that would host parties where couples know they can attend and speak and act freely with each other though, for sure.
Posted by tizianiHmmm...interesting headcount. I'll have to think about that. Because that's like 10-20 people. That's a lot...not so much 10, but 20 is definitely a lot of people. What were the challenges in keeping people interested Tiz?
To find a group of say even just 5-10 couples who are all like kinded is tough ime.
Posted by WestsidekodakWell...like I mentioned...I already know of a couple that are well into the lifestyle. The husband creeped me out though, because I'd met him locally and he didn't mention anything about being married. I live in a medium sized city. Many many connections with one another. Then fast forward a few years later and I meet someone that has known them for years. So then I'm like..."Hmmm...that bastard tried to lie to me and get me to sleep with him." Mind you...I never did anything with him. We talked a lot on the phone..civil convo and hung out that one time. So, seeing him at my friend's bday part was kind of weird. Then he approaches me at the end of the night to tell me that his wife has a crush on me. She had been following me all night, but I never imagined that was why and she just kept smiling at me. Anywho...that's the chick I saw on Sunday and I actually think she's really cute AND likable.Posted by tizianiProper marketing will draw them in, its more of how do you draw them in. The chances of you knowing such a large group of couples with that mindset is slimmer than Andy sticking to one account
To find a group of say even just 5-10 couples who are all like kinded is tough ime.click to expand
Posted by WestsidekodakOh of course. I wouldn't think of doing it any other way. I don't want things to be uncivilized. I want this...whatever it is we or I end up doing to be very discrete, respectful, and civilized. I mean, as far as discretion, that's how my casual liaisons have been. I don't entertain savages or guys who are the hit it and quit it types. Gentlemen only who respect women no matter what. That's what I'm used to. Good convo that's non sexual, treating each other with the utmost respect, getting down and dirty...having fun, and still respecting each other afterwards...even somewhat affectionate. Not this cold savage "take my cookies and run" type of stuff.
FYI Europeans do the group/swing thing the best in terms of organization, secrecy, discretion.
Posted by WestsidekodakOh I know they could. He reached out to me on FB message and invited me to a party. I declined. He just seems kind of creepish. I wonder if...and this is the other thing, talking to my guy...grrrrrr....anyways, if my guy really is interested, I wonder if the other guys' disposition would change. The past few interactions, he's definitely been sniffing me out as prey. I wonder if a man came into the picture if that would change. You know?Posted by MsTeeq1974Hmm... maybe they can get you introduced to the other members?Posted by WestsidekodakWell...like I mentioned...I already know of a couple that are well into the lifestyle. The husband creeped me out though, because I'd met him locally and he didn't mention anything about being married. I live in a medium sized city. Many many connections with one another. Then fast forward a few years later and I meet someone that has known them for years. So then I'm like..."Hmmm...that bastard tried to lie to me and get me to sleep with him." Mind you...I never did anything with him. We talked a lot on the phone..civil convo and hung out that one time. So, seeing him at my friend's bday part was kind of weird. Then he approaches me at the end of the night to tell me that his wife has a crush on me. She had been following me all night, but I never imagined that was why and she just kept smiling at me. Anywho...that's the chick I saw on Sunday and I actually think she's really cute AND likable.Posted by tizianiProper marketing will draw them in, its more of how do you draw them in. The chances of you knowing such a large group of couples with that mindset is slimmer than Andy sticking to one account
To find a group of say even just 5-10 couples who are all like kinded is tough ime.click to expand
what about just trying it with one other couple and work your way up from there?
Posted by MsTeeq1974
OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Why would he object to you seeing other chicks? Don't believe in the flamboyant crafts and lifestyles myself, but even I'm open to that..
Posted by tizianiLol...funny you say that, because women always flirt with me...even when they're heterosexual. I don't know what it is. My only kiss with a strange woman was with a heterosexual woman. Her gay guy friend was complaining about no one kissing him that night...he was drunk, but literally crying. So I said, "Hell Scotty, I'll kiss you if you just STOP crying." So, he was like, "OK" So I kissed him on the lips and the female who was with him said, "OMG...I'm jealous, because that was so easy and you got a kiss because you were crying." So I asked her, "Do you want a kiss too?" She was like, "Yea! Sure!" Well, I didn't just kiss her on the lips, we actually made out in front of the club in front of all of my friends. Then she giggled afterwards and she was like, "I really really liked that and I'm not even gay." I said, "Sweetheart...I'm not gay either" and we both fell out laughing. lol ha ha ha haPosted by MsTeeq1974well first, some of the challenges being a host as a man wouldn't apply to you, so you have an advantage there. If you're a man and bringing it up with some couples there's always the lingering thought in the other guy's head of "do you really want to host a party or do you just want to fuck my girlfriend?"Posted by tizianiHmmm...interesting headcount. I'll have to think about that. Because that's like 10-20 people. That's a lot...not so much 10, but 20 is definitely a lot of people. What were the challenges in keeping people interested Tiz?
To find a group of say even just 5-10 couples who are all like kinded is tough ime.
and you can't spell out to them "listen i have no interest in fucking your girlfriend" because that's probably even worse for them to hear.
Striking up trust as a host, is way easier for a married couple or at the worst a single woman. People assume a lot of good trustworthy things about a married couple (whether valid or not).
Other things like head count, ratio of women to men, location, fabrics, travel etc. are all the other problems to take care of. All of this goes towards making women feel like it's completely their choice to open up. With that, it's going to be a dud night.click to expand
Posted by jeaneI'm not opposed to that idea, but I definitely need to talk to him about it first. See...he's been doing this thing. he he he he...I think he actually WANTS me to have a threesome with him and one of his close friends or even his cousin. I get that vibe. I'm sure that I'm not wrong. When he started drinking the last time I saw him...his cousin was in the backseat and he started out driving. Then we switched in the middle of the 3 hour trip and he had me drive. Well, when I got out of the car as he was pissing on the side of the road, he was like "Damn Babe...holy shit...look at you." Then his cousin went deeper into the brush on the side of the road to piss and he was like, "What are you scared she's going to see you?" Then when we got back in the car...he was like, "Do you see all of this...look at her titties Cuz...look at this shit." And he lifted my arm so his cousin could get a view of my tits from the side...I had on a fitted long sleeve shirt. Then the rest of the way, they were both competing for my approval by singing love songs to me and seeing who was the best at romancing me while I drove. lol It was HILARIOUS.
what about just trying it with one other couple and work your way up from there?
His cousin won. lol I now call him, "My other boyfriend". My guy doesn't mind one bit.
Posted by tizianiTotally agree Tiz. However, I was seeing the Taurus at the time and he was one of the other people trying to get me to have a threesome. lol ha ha ha So at that time, I was thinking that if I did do it, it would be with the Taurus and his friend...IF. Then our casual thing never went anywhere, so I was like...never mind.Posted by MsTeeq1974See... if he'd gotten his wife to make the approach, you probably wouldn't have been creeped out.Posted by WestsidekodakWell...like I mentioned...I already know of a couple that are well into the lifestyle. The husband creeped me out though, because I'd met him locally and he didn't mention anything about being married. I live in a medium sized city. Many many connections with one another. Then fast forward a few years later and I meet someone that has known them for years. So then I'm like..."Hmmm...that bastard tried to lie to me and get me to sleep with him." Mind you...I never did anything with him. We talked a lot on the phone..civil convo and hung out that one time. So, seeing him at my friend's bday part was kind of weird. Then he approaches me at the end of the night to tell me that his wife has a crush on me. She had been following me all night, but I never imagined that was why and she just kept smiling at me. Anywho...that's the chick I saw on Sunday and I actually think she's really cute AND likable.Posted by tizianiProper marketing will draw them in, its more of how do you draw them in. The chances of you knowing such a large group of couples with that mindset is slimmer than Andy sticking to one account
To find a group of say even just 5-10 couples who are all like kinded is tough ime.
click to expand
Posted by enfant_terribleI don't know if I want to start off slow or just throw myself into the lifestyle all at once. By starting off slow, I mean actually go all of the way with another woman. I never have. I mean, that might be a better scenario, but I'm a person who has two tats that I got in one sitting. I tend to go big or go home. However, in this case, if I did try to go all of the way with a woman and it didn't work out...I'd know that my interactions would have to be all male with me being the only woman. So I see the positive side to starting off slow. Not a bad idea...he would NOT be opposed to that. lol You're right.Posted by MsTeeq1974
OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Why would he object to you seeing other chicks? Don't believe in the flamboyant crafts and lifestyles myself, but even I'm open to that..
click to expand
Posted by tizianiYou're right Tiz. He also continues to bring his best friend up who absolutely...that man goes crazy when he sees me. At first I thought my guy was just showing off. Now, I'm starting to think...hmmm...no this is about more than that. He's always like..."So, Keith said blah blah blah blah" or "What would you do if Keith came in right now and saw you butt naked?" or "Baby...Keith is trying to touch your butt...do you believe me". So.....slowmo me...I'm just now picking up on these cues.Posted by MsTeeq1974I can understand his mindset.Posted by enfant_terribleI don't know if I want to start off slow or just throw myself into the lifestyle all at once. By starting off slow, I mean actually go all of the way with another woman. I never have. I mean, that might be a better scenario, but I'm a person who has two tats that I got in one sitting. I tend to go big or go home. However, in this case, if I did try to go all of the way with a woman and it didn't work out...I'd know that my interactions would have to be all male with me being the only woman. So I see the positive side to starting off slow. Not a bad idea...he would NOT be opposed to that. lol You're right.Posted by MsTeeq1974
OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Why would he object to you seeing other chicks? Don't believe in the flamboyant crafts and lifestyles myself, but even I'm open to that..
I am a commitment machine.
If I know a woman I'm with likes men, I don't want to see her with women. Makes no sense. It's about seeing her pleasure.
if she likes women, then sure, other women.
If she doesn't like the idea of being with anyone else at all, then no other people.
In all cases, the logic is whatever keeps us growing together is what's best. So yeah, do what you both need to do to be true to your own relationship. Enjoy.click to expand
Posted by CaptainPimpUm, no. Not necessarily. lol I've always had different ideals about what commitment means. I've expressed that here before. Like the idea of taking the summers off from a relationship. It's basically the same thing. I don't believe that commitment and love has to come with shutting the door to other forms of relationship pleasure. I'm not saying that people and toys have the same value...not at all. People are definitely more valuable and have more utility than toys. But if you bring a toy on the scene to increase the pleasure factor...you're not cheating, right? Now, some people feel like bringing a toy on the scene is cheating...like my Aries ex. The crazy part is that people who are adamant against cheating are some of the ones who get "caught up" or wouldn't entertain the idea of an alternate lifestyle due to shame. I don't appreciate how much shame is tied to sexual preference and sexuality. It's just dumb. We are sexual creatures. How in the hell can a toxic emotion like shame be so closely linked to how much a person enjoys sexually expressing themselves?
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just....
so against my morals and ideals. i am not made for this world xD.
Idk how you folk can do these things ! Gluck tho, w.e rocks yer boat.
Am pretty sure there are enough folk out there who don't cheat...this mindset ' im sure u or me would/has cheated' is wrong. It just shows what you would do. 😄 A cheater thinks like that, ba dum tish.
Out.
That is what boggles me.
Posted by CaptainPimpI do appreciate your opinion though and thank you for being honest with how you feel.
sidenote: generally people kinda just get jealous or other emotions come into play and these don't work out. From what i saw.
Posted by TwodrinksLol...I'll agree with you on that last statement. I'm a free spirited person, but that doesn't mean that I'm asking to be used as a bedroom toy. I think the interactions that I have in mind are a little more...warmer than that though. I get where you're coming from and yes, I know of some situations where that is the case. The third party, usually a woman, is more of an animate object than she is an equal participant. When me and my guy have seen women and joked, it's been more along the lines of, "She doesn't look happy with her guy, she should come with us and we'll make sure she is so very happy. We'll feed her, make sure she's fully satisfied, make her feel beautiful, then get to the deed." This is coming from both of us. As a couple, we're confident that we would treat a third party (male or female) as a human being...not an object.
I've been on the other end too, too many times. 3somes with another woman is hard. I believe they're called unicorns (I could be wrong) but I've had a few couoles try and get me to be their unicorn and while the woman was sometimes attractive...the men just creeped me the fuck out, almost in a predatory way. This woman unicorn is usually a live sex toy for the couple to use...no matter how you try to church it up...it is what it is. Now some women might enjoy that-being used...I don't particularly find it appealing.
So with that said, and im not directing the following at you, I just wanna put it out there into the world- DO NOT ask a woman to be your relationship unicorn unless she has expressed some sort of interest. That shit is annoying.
Posted by WestsidekodakI caught what you meant. lolPosted by WestsidekodakAgggggghhhh one not old****** LMAOPosted by CaptainPimpLol I just know of it, I don't participate. I'm a waiting till marriage, traditional old woman type of man. I'm too jealous to even think this stuff. LOL
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just....
so against my morals and ideals. i am not made for this world xD.
Idk how you folk can do these things ! Gluck tho, w.e rocks yer boat.
Am pretty sure there are enough folk out there who don't cheat...this mindset ' im sure u or me would/has cheated' is wrong. It just shows what you would do. 😄 A cheater thinks like that, ba dum tish.
Out.click to expand
Posted by CaptainPimphorses for courses. some people like an open relationship and aren't suited to monogamy and some people couldn't imagine any other way. it's all about your likes and what works for you.
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just....
so against my morals and ideals. i am not made for this world xD.
Idk how you folk can do these things ! Gluck tho, w.e rocks yer boat.
Am pretty sure there are enough folk out there who don't cheat...this mindset ' im sure u or me would/has cheated' is wrong. It just shows what you would do. 😄 A cheater thinks like that, ba dum tish.
Out.
Posted by tizianionce again, i am agreeing with tiz. it really is about what you want to do. how you derive pleasure.
I can understand his mindset.
I am a commitment machine.
If I know a woman I'm with likes men, I don't want to see her with women. Makes no sense. It's about seeing her pleasure.
if she likes women, then sure, other women.
If she doesn't like the idea of being with anyone else at all, then no other people.
In all cases, the logic is whatever keeps us growing together is what's best. So yeah, do what you both need to do to be true to your own relationship. Enjoy.
maybe try seeing what/who you would like to do if your partner wasn't there and then try to arrange (with prior discussion of course) a scenario where you involve him; if it is with another woman, or a man, or a couple you both know and like.
Posted by CaptainPimpis it cheating if the relationship is open?Posted by jeaneYeah i agree, but i see this to be the predominant thing lately. Everyone looking for open relationships or doing stuff out of bounds, cuz they can't keep their hormones in check.Posted by CaptainPimphorses for courses. some people like an open relationship and aren't suited to monogamy and some people couldn't imagine any other way. it's all about your likes and what works for you.
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just....
so against my morals and ideals. i am not made for this world xD.
Idk how you folk can do these things ! Gluck tho, w.e rocks yer boat.
Am pretty sure there are enough folk out there who don't cheat...this mindset ' im sure u or me would/has cheated' is wrong. It just shows what you would do. 😄 A cheater thinks like that, ba dum tish.
Out.
Cheating seems to be the norm, everyone i know cheats, except like 1 girl?
So these kind of topics bum me down, they remind me of how hard it is to actually find what i am looking for in this world 🙂. When everyone does the opposite.
Iz all am sayin.click to expand
i don't think everyone is doing it. i'm not. it's not my thing in the slightest but there is an argument that monogamy is not the natural state. like you said, a lot of people cheat. maybe it's because a lot of them aren't honest enough to say i feel attracted to other people and would like to explore my attraction to them.
you'll find someone. every pot has a lid. 🙂
Posted by Rambunctious76along with the baby step, i think you need to draw clear boundaries. what is ok and what isn't. you also have to stake the claim as the primary partner. i would do a lot of reading into this before i jumped (the cautious libra in me) and made sure you spoke to as many people as possible for doing anything you might regret.Posted by jeaneI was going to suggest this too. Baby steps. Learning where your boundaries are (putting theories into practice)
what about just trying it with one other couple and work your way up from there?
I won't sugarcoat anything up for you. Oftentimes couples think there's some excitement and diversity in swinging and and open relationships. I've heard it a zillion times where they say they trust each other enough, and then a few years down the road I learn they've split because of trust issues. I have to say though that going beyond your monogamous relationship is an excellent tool for discovering the chinks in your relationship armour, but if you're not ready to be faced with those chinks, don't go into it.
I only know of 2 successful open relationships in my immediate circle, 1 of which has branched out into polyamory.click to expand
Posted by busyeyes88i know right??
I've always been curious but not when in a relationship...
except i'm NOT curious when i'm not in a relationship. Meaning no weird shit.
MsTeeq, why are you wanting open??
in my mind, i feel that those who want open are not really happy with their signifcant other.
so they are willing to "share" , then to me that's NOT even a relationship together, because to me it means they are waiting for "the one"
i've only heard of open relationshps coming to astrology forums and online. I've never even done online dating ever in my life, but after being here, i see alot of the world from everyone's eyes and their own experiences.
Posted by MsTeeq1974Honest thoughts about the lifestyle, or your potential foray into it?
Ok...so admittedly, I've always been fascinated by people living the "lifestyle". Whether it was an open relationship, don't ask...don't tell...because we know one or both of us are cheating, swinging, etc. I've never had a threesome...I know, I know...shocking. lol I've been invited many times though. Anywho...me and the Scorp, we've discussed the possibility of being a couple in the lifestyle and the way that he imagines it is that we would host/attend swinger parties. I think that might be cool. It just might work. However, I'm not really into the whole group thing as much as I would much rather us have threesomes or for us to have an open relationship. I actually think the open relationship idea would benefit us best. Two things...I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, because I've never experienced ANY of it and he's possessive so you know the open relationship thing is not going to fly with him, without some convincing.
How in the hell do you talk to your partner about something like this? Like I said...we've had discussions, but never made arrangements or anything like that. OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Even if you're not interested in the lifestyle, please feel free to chime in...because I want to hear people's honest thoughts, feelings, vibe, and even if it's not your experience...have you known of couples who have successful relationships that are this way? I've already looked online at all of the supposedly celeb couples who are in the lifestyle and I've seen lots of info about it in another forum. FYI - a part of this is coming from my increased security in the longevity of our relationship. Like I said...I've had people try to pull me into the lifestyle for a while now. I've never felt comfortable and always knew that if I did...it would be with someone I love and trust...as a couple.
So much that isn't being said here.
Unless someone else covered it in pages 2, 3, and 4. 😄
Posted by CaptainPimplmao
I am all up for toys and whatever to entice and create more umpf in the relationship and do stuff she pleases. But not with other people, heeell naw, nevah.
I don't share my bubu, she better do the same.
The last gal i tried something with and she was a Aqua, she was into women you see as well as men. ANd since it's a same sex she didn't classify it as cheating if she would do another woman 😆. I was like 'what?'. We were just openly talking about stuff.
But as much as she would like to do women, she would not like to share me with other women.
Well some people are more open, nowaday everyone seems to be....so w.e
I just couldn't, am possesive and jealous as fuck. xD
she sounds like Ellen Degeneres. into women but i dont think her and her aqua wife are into "open"....
i saw they both have sag, but she has aries moon, and aries moon or aries dominant folks i've known are not into that shit.
My long time friend had an open marriage with her husband, she would bring women home for him to be his 'toy" and she was able to bring guys home. Honestly she first apporached me to be the girl for him. Very cool couple and came very close to crossing into this lifestyle. okay yes i did, but only to a certain level i was comfortable with. I watched her with her boy toy.
I was 25 or 26 and just learning that sex did not = love. I was still in the midset that sex meant love so i had to step back and re-evaluate things.
It worked/works for them but once i became good friends with both of them it made it odd. I went out on a date with him one night and it would have gone further but i had this seed of doubt in my head of it ruining all the friendships. So i stopped it. She ended up becoming jealous of me and i never did anything with her husband, even though she was trying to push us to sleep with each other for some time.
so tread lightly is all i can say.
I was 25 or 26 and just learning that sex did not = love. I was still in the midset that sex meant love so i had to step back and re-evaluate things.
It worked/works for them but once i became good friends with both of them it made it odd. I went out on a date with him one night and it would have gone further but i had this seed of doubt in my head of it ruining all the friendships. So i stopped it. She ended up becoming jealous of me and i never did anything with her husband, even though she was trying to push us to sleep with each other for some time.
so tread lightly is all i can say.
Posted by CaptainPimpThat's because most people end up creeping. As much as we don't want to admit it, hormones were meant to be shared. Now, I'm not saying that people SHOULD cheat. They absolutely shouldn't, but the truth is forever is a mighty long time and unless you have a very low sex drive...something is going to end up happening. If not physically, in your mind, and that kind of stuff creates conflicts in relationships, so you end up not cheating, but breaking up anyways. I want a healthy forever relationship where we are open to one another. As open as possible.Posted by jeaneYeah i agree, but i see this to be the predominant thing lately. Everyone looking for open relationships or doing stuff out of bounds, cuz they can't keep their hormones in check.Posted by CaptainPimphorses for courses. some people like an open relationship and aren't suited to monogamy and some people couldn't imagine any other way. it's all about your likes and what works for you.
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just....
so against my morals and ideals. i am not made for this world xD.
Idk how you folk can do these things ! Gluck tho, w.e rocks yer boat.
Am pretty sure there are enough folk out there who don't cheat...this mindset ' im sure u or me would/has cheated' is wrong. It just shows what you would do. 😄 A cheater thinks like that, ba dum tish.
Out.
Cheating seems to be the norm, everyone i know cheats, except like 1 girl?
So these kind of topics bum me down, they remind me of how hard it is to actually find what i am looking for in this world 🙂. When everyone does the opposite.
Iz all am sayin.click to expand
Posted by jeaneJeane...there are so many things that I would do if my guy wasn't in the picture. lol That being said, I WANT him in my life, in the relationship, etc. So, that makes it easy for me to...curb my enthusiasms if you will. The thoughts might pop up, but I don't feel like I need to act on them. This is primarily about cultivating a deeper relationship between us and enjoying our lives...together. I don't have a problem identifying a woman to help me figure out my boundaries, but he'll definitely know ahead of time.Posted by tizianionce again, i am agreeing with tiz. it really is about what you want to do. how you derive pleasure.
I can understand his mindset.
I am a commitment machine.
If I know a woman I'm with likes men, I don't want to see her with women. Makes no sense. It's about seeing her pleasure.
if she likes women, then sure, other women.
If she doesn't like the idea of being with anyone else at all, then no other people.
In all cases, the logic is whatever keeps us growing together is what's best. So yeah, do what you both need to do to be true to your own relationship. Enjoy.
maybe try seeing what/who you would like to do if your partner wasn't there and then try to arrange (with prior discussion of course) a scenario where you involve him; if it is with another woman, or a man, or a couple you both know and like.click to expand
Posted by Rambunctious76i'm making excuses for them.Posted by lisabethur8Projection.Posted by busyeyes88i know right??
I've always been curious but not when in a relationship...
except i'm NOT curious when i'm not in a relationship. Meaning no weird shit.
MsTeeq, why are you wanting open??
in my mind, i feel that those who want open are not really happy with their signifcant other.
so they are willing to "share" , then to me that's NOT even a relationship together, because to me it means they are waiting for "the one"
i've only heard of open relationshps coming to astrology forums and online. I've never even done online dating ever in my life, but after being here, i see alot of the world from everyone's eyes and their own experiences.click to expand
I can't understand it, but well, if they are horny alot and need companionship, but not want DEEP commitment, then i dont know what.
Posted by Rambunctious76Thanks for your insight and I'll definitely keep that in mind in regards to the relationship weaknesses. Makes sense to me. I'm seriously on this relationship enlightenment thing where I'm now all about the fact that there is just no possible way that you can own another person and each person has to have their freedom of choice, etc without the other breathing down their neck. I'm telling you, being with this man has opened my eyes to a lot. Primarily, because of the bond between us that exists despite the distance and the quiet in between talk times. For instance, I didn't know that a bond can still exist between two people like this if you don't talk almost every day for a significant amount of time. I always thought you had to be in constant communication or else the bond will be affected. Now, you can end up feeling like strangers at times, but when you really connect with your partner, it's like, "Oh shit...yea...there's nothing wrong here. I was trippin."Posted by jeaneI was going to suggest this too. Baby steps. Learning where your boundaries are (putting theories into practice)
what about just trying it with one other couple and work your way up from there?
I won't sugarcoat anything up for you. Oftentimes couples think there's some excitement and diversity in swinging and and open relationships. I've heard it a zillion times where they say they trust each other enough, and then a few years down the road I learn they've split because of trust issues. I have to say though that going beyond your monogamous relationship is an excellent tool for discovering the chinks in your relationship armour, but if you're not ready to be faced with those chinks, don't go into it.
I only know of 2 successful open relationships in my immediate circle, 1 of which has branched out into polyamory.click to expand
Posted by jeaneOh Honey, I'm right there with you. This isn't the first time I've dabbled in the possibility of having a relationship with an alternate lifestyle. I'm just honing in on what it is that I see working with this particular partner, since I know I definitely want to be with him long term and so far...the feeling is mutual. Very mutual. I'm doing A LOT of research before doing anything concrete. Definitely.Posted by Rambunctious76along with the baby step, i think you need to draw clear boundaries. what is ok and what isn't. you also have to stake the claim as the primary partner. i would do a lot of reading into this before i jumped (the cautious libra in me) and made sure you spoke to as many people as possible for doing anything you might regret.Posted by jeaneI was going to suggest this too. Baby steps. Learning where your boundaries are (putting theories into practice)
what about just trying it with one other couple and work your way up from there?
I won't sugarcoat anything up for you. Oftentimes couples think there's some excitement and diversity in swinging and and open relationships. I've heard it a zillion times where they say they trust each other enough, and then a few years down the road I learn they've split because of trust issues. I have to say though that going beyond your monogamous relationship is an excellent tool for discovering the chinks in your relationship armour, but if you're not ready to be faced with those chinks, don't go into it.
I only know of 2 successful open relationships in my immediate circle, 1 of which has branched out into polyamory.click to expand
Posted by lisabethur8Montgomery hit it the nail on the head and so I'm just going to lay it out here. lol Ever since my split with my ex-hubby like 13 years ago, I've been wondering about...IDK...my stance on commitment, etc. So I started dating five years later and initially even thought that I NEVER wanted to be married again and could (after a few years of being in a relationship) live with a man for a while. So in between then and now I've dabbled with some theories to see how they fit or how they made me feel, etc. Oh boy...here we go. lolPosted by busyeyes88i know right??
I've always been curious but not when in a relationship...
except i'm NOT curious when i'm not in a relationship. Meaning no weird shit.
MsTeeq, why are you wanting open??
in my mind, i feel that those who want open are not really happy with their signifcant other.
so they are willing to "share" , then to me that's NOT even a relationship together, because to me it means they are waiting for "the one"
i've only heard of open relationshps coming to astrology forums and online. I've never even done online dating ever in my life, but after being here, i see alot of the world from everyone's eyes and their own experiences.click to expand
So, I actually caught feelings for someone a while back and they revealed that they were actually a trans-sexual. I only told my bestie about it, because that meant that I could possibly end up with a man who had all of his bits and pieces who enjoyed living like a woman. If we would have gotten together, I would have gone as far as being fine with him dressing in public and people assuming that we were a lesbian couple. Nothing about his lifestyle choice ruined that. It was his attitude that I eventually couldn't deal with.
Then a couple of years later, I have this guy who I'm having somewhat of an exclusive sexual relationship with who eventually wanted a committed cuckhold relationship. He ended up being deployed and the cuckhold thing worked out great for about 7 months. The parameters were that I had to tell him about the guy and let him know when I was going to have sex. Not telling him before going to have sex with another man was considered cheating. I also had to provide deets when the deed was done as well as avoid emotional attachments. Nothin to it. lol Well, one guy I actually did like and at first it was weird having to tell my man that I actually could see myself with this other fellow. Well, when we both realized the threat it posed to the relationship, I cut the other guy off. Eventually, that relationship lifestyle wasn't for me, because I felt like we should both be enjoying pleasure and even together...not with me having sex with him and
Eventually, that relationship lifestyle wasn't for me, because I felt like we should both be enjoying pleasure and even together...not with me having sex with him and him getting off on me enjoying wielding my sexual prowess around like a magic lasso. lol Eventually, I ended up feeling like I was doing something wrong as well as feeling like my man probably didn't care about me as much as I thought he did. Wrong and wrong...that was just his preference. Still, I couldn't emotionally adapt to it. So that had to end.
So...there you have it. I've dabbled a bit in different forms of alternative lifestyles before. That's the other thing. This is something that I haven't told my Scorp and it's time to. *Arrrrrrgh*
So...there you have it. I've dabbled a bit in different forms of alternative lifestyles before. That's the other thing. This is something that I haven't told my Scorp and it's time to. *Arrrrrrgh*
Posted by MontgomeryI want to hear both from you Montgomery...if you have input or insights.Posted by MsTeeq1974Honest thoughts about the lifestyle, or your potential foray into it?
Ok...so admittedly, I've always been fascinated by people living the "lifestyle". Whether it was an open relationship, don't ask...don't tell...because we know one or both of us are cheating, swinging, etc. I've never had a threesome...I know, I know...shocking. lol I've been invited many times though. Anywho...me and the Scorp, we've discussed the possibility of being a couple in the lifestyle and the way that he imagines it is that we would host/attend swinger parties. I think that might be cool. It just might work. However, I'm not really into the whole group thing as much as I would much rather us have threesomes or for us to have an open relationship. I actually think the open relationship idea would benefit us best. Two things...I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, because I've never experienced ANY of it and he's possessive so you know the open relationship thing is not going to fly with him, without some convincing.
How in the hell do you talk to your partner about something like this? Like I said...we've had discussions, but never made arrangements or anything like that. OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Even if you're not interested in the lifestyle, please feel free to chime in...because I want to hear people's honest thoughts, feelings, vibe, and even if it's not your experience...have you known of couples who have successful relationships that are this way? I've already looked online at all of the supposedly celeb couples who are in the lifestyle and I've seen lots of info about it in another forum. FYI - a part of this is coming from my increased security in the longevity of our relationship. Like I said...I've had people try to pull me into the lifestyle for a while now. I've never felt comfortable and always knew that if I did...it would be with someone I love and trust...as a couple.
So much that isn't being said here.
Unless someone else covered it in pages 2, 3, and 4. 😄
click to expand
Posted by justagirlSee that's the thing. I don't know if I would prefer that the other partner(s) were regular participants in our lives, which honestly brings a certain level of safety and trust into the situation or if they should be associates who we don't see on the regular and are not good friends of ours, which is where you get more discretion. Thanks for your input. I feel like in the conceptual stages it should feel complicated, but once you determine boundaries, preferences, and form some type of agreement, it's less complicated from there.
My long time friend had an open marriage with her husband, she would bring women home for him to be his 'toy" and she was able to bring guys home. Honestly she first apporached me to be the girl for him. Very cool couple and came very close to crossing into this lifestyle. okay yes i did, but only to a certain level i was comfortable with. I watched her with her boy toy.
I was 25 or 26 and just learning that sex did not = love. I was still in the midset that sex meant love so i had to step back and re-evaluate things.
It worked/works for them but once i became good friends with both of them it made it odd. I went out on a date with him one night and it would have gone further but i had this seed of doubt in my head of it ruining all the friendships. So i stopped it. She ended up becoming jealous of me and i never did anything with her husband, even though she was trying to push us to sleep with each other for some time.
so tread lightly is all i can say.
It does all seem very complicated though...more than what meets the eye. However, life is like that, right?
Posted by capricornmoonI know that for me...this is very true. My sexual tendencies are...unconventional, even in a one to one exclusive and committed relationship. My Leo ex-hubby was a super freak and mannnnnn, I LOVED every bit of it. Lawd have mercy! So yes, the freak meter in my conscious is very high....higher than most.
Y'all are a bunch of freaks. #AdinaHoward
For instance...my Scorp does this thing where even with all of our clothes on and just hanging out and about...sometimes in public...he bites me. I don't mean a nip...I mean a full on, taking chunks of my arm in his mouth, biting down real hard...leaving atrocious teeth marks in my skin. I have permanent scaring on my upper right arm from this...and I LOVE it. *gives me chills just thinking about it* He gets off on it too. He's like, "I'll always be with/on you no matter what you do."
open relationships------> hell no
the only open thing happening would be the door opening as i kick your cheating ass out
Posted by lisabethur8No, it's not that Hun. lol There's so much more to it than just the act of sex. See IMO sex and sexuality are two different things. We tend to mesh the two, chalking what we do sexually to the totality of our sexuality. I don't FEEL it that way. I can have very satisfying vanilla sex and never question wanting more, if I'm willing to negate the broad potential of my sexuality. My sexuality extends far beyond the perimeters of my body and there is only so much I can express using my body. I hope I'm making sense. lolPosted by Rambunctious76i'm making excuses for them.Posted by lisabethur8Projection.Posted by busyeyes88i know right??
I've always been curious but not when in a relationship...
except i'm NOT curious when i'm not in a relationship. Meaning no weird shit.
MsTeeq, why are you wanting open??
in my mind, i feel that those who want open are not really happy with their signifcant other.
so they are willing to "share" , then to me that's NOT even a relationship together, because to me it means they are waiting for "the one"
i've only heard of open relationshps coming to astrology forums and online. I've never even done online dating ever in my life, but after being here, i see alot of the world from everyone's eyes and their own experiences.
I can't understand it, but well, if they are horny alot and need companionship, but not want DEEP commitment, then i dont know what.click to expand
Hence when you meet someone who is like minded...there's a tendency to have a great chemistry, want to stay together, and explore the limitations of your COMBINED sexuality. That's what keeps you together as a couple. It's no longer my sexuality or his sexuality, but what we do is an expression of OUR broad and unconventional sexuality. We've even dabbled a bit already when we went camping. He announced very proudly that we were going to have sex and our camping mates basically watched (our shadows) and listened (purposely) outside of the tent. That was awesome. lol ha ha ha ha
Posted by MsTeeq1974right!Posted by justagirlSee that's the thing. I don't know if I would prefer that the other partner(s) were regular participants in our lives, which honestly brings a certain level of safety and trust into the situation or if they should be associates who we don't see on the regular and are not good friends of ours, which is where you get more discretion. Thanks for your input. I feel like in the conceptual stages it should feel complicated, but once you determine boundaries, preferences, and form some type of agreement, it's less complicated from there.
My long time friend had an open marriage with her husband, she would bring women home for him to be his 'toy" and she was able to bring guys home. Honestly she first apporached me to be the girl for him. Very cool couple and came very close to crossing into this lifestyle. okay yes i did, but only to a certain level i was comfortable with. I watched her with her boy toy.
I was 25 or 26 and just learning that sex did not = love. I was still in the midset that sex meant love so i had to step back and re-evaluate things.
It worked/works for them but once i became good friends with both of them it made it odd. I went out on a date with him one night and it would have gone further but i had this seed of doubt in my head of it ruining all the friendships. So i stopped it. She ended up becoming jealous of me and i never did anything with her husband, even though she was trying to push us to sleep with each other for some time.
so tread lightly is all i can say.
It does all seem very complicated though...more than what meets the eye. However, life is like that, right?click to expand
I found out It's not really for me. I understand and repsect that others might do this or even polygamy but i am a one guy type of girl and prefer commitment vs open.
Posted by narayanaSee...that's interesting. I couldn't engage in something like this without a partnership. lol ha ha ha ha I need the security of an equal participating partner in order to engage and feel cool with it. I've never had that feeling that I couldn't share my partner in an open fashion. Now, do I want my partner creeping on me? Hell no. I think that's more disrespectful than having an open arrangement. I feel like I want to trust and be trusted by my partner to the point of having open communication. I want us to be able to talk about the hard stuff as casually as we talk about the weather or about how our families are doing. You know....
Naah, I could have a 3some, 4some, 5some with people I have no feelings for, but I could never share my partner.
Now a days, even though I don't want my partner cheating on me...never that...I'm even like..."You know...what he does is his business." IDK...it's weird but my eyes are opening to some truths that I don't think people ever get to. Like the fact that a partner cheating on you doesn't mean that partner isn't in love with you. Not at all. I wouldn't have seen it like that...maybe 5-10 years ago. The older I get and the more relationship experience I gain, I'm starting to see things differently. My ideals of what love is hasn't changed...yet, but how it's expressed and the confines, limits, and avenues of its expression have changed a whole lot.
Posted by capricornmoonI personally wouldn't limit the tail end of your statement to water sign men. People period are emotionally unstable and destructive. lolPosted by MsTeeq1974Water sign men are ORAL people. They will literally bite or suck your privates off. Too bad, they're also emotionally unstable and destructivePosted by capricornmoonI know that for me...this is very true. My sexual tendencies are...unconventional, even in a one to one exclusive and committed relationship. My Leo ex-hubby was a super freak and mannnnnn, I LOVED every bit of it. Lawd have mercy! So yes, the freak meter in my conscious is very high....higher than most.
Y'all are a bunch of freaks. #AdinaHoward
For instance...my Scorp does this thing where even with all of our clothes on and just hanging out and about...sometimes in public...he bites me. I don't mean a nip...I mean a full on, taking chunks of my arm in his mouth, biting down real hard...leaving atrocious teeth marks in my skin. I have permanent scaring on my upper right arm from this...and I LOVE it. *gives me chills just thinking about it* He gets off on it too. He's like, "I'll always be with/on you no matter what you do."click to expand
Posted by justagirlI hear you. See, to me it's not open vs commitment, because an open relationship is still a committed relationship. It's open vs exclusive when it comes to sexuality/sensual expressions. Most people would have a major problem with the exchange that took place in that car between the 3 of us on that brief trip. I mean, they would be like...oh hell nah...that's not happening. His cousin literally serenaded me and they went back and forth. He was the main man desperate to keep his woman and his cousin played the part of the lover who wanted her more. The songs they came up with and most of them WERE sexual. His cousin literally sang to me, "Let me like you up and down...til you say stop...let me play with your body baby, make you real hot...etc" SomPosted by MsTeeq1974right!Posted by justagirlSee that's the thing. I don't know if I would prefer that the other partner(s) were regular participants in our lives, which honestly brings a certain level of safety and trust into the situation or if they should be associates who we don't see on the regular and are not good friends of ours, which is where you get more discretion. Thanks for your input. I feel like in the conceptual stages it should feel complicated, but once you determine boundaries, preferences, and form some type of agreement, it's less complicated from there.
My long time friend had an open marriage with her husband, she would bring women home for him to be his 'toy" and she was able to bring guys home. Honestly she first apporached me to be the girl for him. Very cool couple and came very close to crossing into this lifestyle. okay yes i did, but only to a certain level i was comfortable with. I watched her with her boy toy.
I was 25 or 26 and just learning that sex did not = love. I was still in the midset that sex meant love so i had to step back and re-evaluate things.
It worked/works for them but once i became good friends with both of them it made it odd. I went out on a date with him one night and it would have gone further but i had this seed of doubt in my head of it ruining all the friendships. So i stopped it. She ended up becoming jealous of me and i never did anything with her husband, even though she was trying to push us to sleep with each other for some time.
so tread lightly is all i can say.
It does all seem very complicated though...more than what meets the eye. However, life is like that, right?
I found out It's not really for me. I understand and repsect that others might do this or even polygamy but i am a one guy type of girl and prefer commitment vs open.click to expand
Some folks would have been like, "Flag on the play!!!!". Lol...it was so much damn fun.
Posted by Vixen2Girrrrl, you have me laughin so hard. lol Feel free to chime in with your thoughts. lol
well dayum! O_O
"I hear you. See, to me it's not open vs commitment, because an open relationship is still a committed relationship."
Right i get that , trust me i understand the difference of open, committed, exclusive, polygmany etc etc..
i personally found i can not do without be committed and exclusive. I don't like to share or be shared
😆
Right i get that , trust me i understand the difference of open, committed, exclusive, polygmany etc etc..
i personally found i can not do without be committed and exclusive. I don't like to share or be shared
😆
Posted by Rambunctious76Projection.
So as a psychology student, you should know better than to make sweeping, generalised statements, isn't it?
Or do you have personal experience with this as well? (Either as the party involved or as an indirect party)? Theory and personal experience are 2 different things - having a combo of both, then you probably know what you are talking about. But having just one without the other? Hmmm...
Posted by Rambunctious76I always thought that possessiveness is learned behavior. That's MY mom, MY friend, MY partner. In the US we have a history of owning people in one way or another that doesn't exist in the same way in other cultures.Posted by narayanaDo you have the references for your above statement? I am interested to know where you heard/learned this from. Or if it's just based on personal experience.Posted by MsTeeq1974I agree that cheating doesn't mean they don't love you,but at the end most of the people are monogamous by nature, jealousy and possessiveness are biologically programmed more or less in each of us . Even the one who cheats usually wouldn't be fine if the other one turned out to be a cheater as well. I guess cheating is a result of not being treated as they expected to be, even if everything seems okay with the relationship, one is certainly feeling unfulfilled in some way. Humans are self-centered by nature, all struggling with double-standards at some degree.Posted by narayanaSee...that's interesting. I couldn't engage in something like this without a partnership. lol ha ha ha ha I need the security of an equal participating partner in order to engage and feel cool with it. I've never had that feeling that I couldn't share my partner in an open fashion. Now, do I want my partner creeping on me? Hell no. I think that's more disrespectful than having an open arrangement. I feel like I want to trust and be trusted by my partner to the point of having open communication. I want us to be able to talk about the hard stuff as casually as we talk about the weather or about how our families are doing. You know....
Naah, I could have a 3some, 4some, 5some with people I have no feelings for, but I could never share my partner.
Now a days, even though I don't want my partner cheating on me...never that...I'm even like..."You know...what he does is his business." IDK...it's weird but my eyes are opening to some truths that I don't think people ever get to. Like the fact that a partner cheating on you doesn't mean that partner isn't in love with you. Not at all. I wouldn't have seen it like that...maybe 5-10 years ago. The older I get and the more relationship experience I gain, I'm starting to see things differently. My ideals of what love is hasn't changed...yet, but how it's expressed and the confines, limits, and avenues of its expression have changed a whole lot.click to expand
Posted by tizianiOMG...thank you Tiz for pointing out the obvious. I'm also beyond child bearing and child rearing ages. Been there and done that. I don't need an exclusive anything to protect a family of small children or someone to take a vested interest in what?? My two female dogs? Lol ha ha ha ha I was thinking about that, but people already seem to be a bit weirded out. Lol I mean, I totally understand people feeling like it's not their thing, but there's nothing that proves that we are biologically programmed towards monogamy and possessiveness. I believe that jealousy is socially acceptable and that's why we ascribe to it. And then we also pin that to whether or not we feel loved...hence my uncomfortableness with the cuckhold arrangement. I mean don't get me wrong...there was a time that I subscribed to everything that most of the people here have. One man, one woman, limited sexual expression and there's no way that I could have separated out what I do or don't do sexually from my actual sexuality. No way.
After two people have had children, does it even really matter what they are biologically programmed to do?
I wouldn't know. But I imagine that's the end of the program right there. So you need something beyond programming, that lasts.
A man biologically gets a hard on and wants to put it in a hole (that's sex), but there's nothing determining what type of hole he puts his hard on in (that's sexuality)...whether it's his fist or an anus.
And not too long ago masturbation was a taboo thing. It was considered evil. lol ha ha ha ha ha OMG...thank God we don't think that way now.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
All these posts by people in pain, people who are hurting and heartbroken over love lost, betrayal, lack of communication, misunderstandings... I empathize with you. I've been there. I know that pain all too well. I have the solution. Someone asked me for
What's the biggest age gap and what were your ages? How long did it last?
The answer is nowhere. Men by nature are hunters and go after what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you. Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not goin
I dated this guy (Leo, 33) Im a Sagittarius, 28; for 4 years, lived together; Broke up last December (1 year ago) towards the end I wasn't entirely happy in our relationship, because I never felt or knew if we were on the same page,or if we had a future t
I was dating someone and it seems he was doing the classic sting along. Always wanted to talk on the phone or Facetime but never had time to see me. I believe he was keeping me around in case something else fell through. I decided it was time to let go
I'm going to keep this brief (but fail.) One day, months ago, while minding my own business, reading at the bus station, a guy approached me and introduced himself. Since that moment, he would chat every time he saw me. My wording is not by accident when
For someone to not know how to be in a relationship? Because if so, I think that's what I'm experiencing now in myself. Is it possible to be *too independent*?
Anyone ever deliberately scared someone away just so you could let them go? Like send Adele songs to Gemini you know doesn't want a relationship ha ha ha. I know it is messed up, but I am sick of thinking about him and the cycle of tag your it. Anyone eve
For both the Men and the women. I saw this site for the guys, it was more funny than it was informative..;.....but- http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-09-28/mind-of-man-the-types-of-women-you-shouldn%E2%80%99t-date/ For the ladies I think it maybe inform
Not sure if I should post here or on the politics forum Have you ever had sex with someone who didn't share the same views as yourself regarding the pro life/pro choice? I imagine this topic doesn't come to surface if its just a one night stand and
is there a mountain too high? a valley too low? a river too wide? is there a point where two people who truly love each other should face reality and accept they are beaten? or is no obstacle too big to overcome where love is concerned?
This all has been an observation I've made over the last year or two from those I've interacted with. Before anyone gets upset and freaks out, there is nothing wrong with this generally. It's the motivation, or lack thereof, behind this concept for some.
Is this untypical for a gemini?
I suppose this is really for atheists/non-religious. But religious dating outside their own faith would be as relevant I suppose. I ended up spending a lot of time with this guy during the weekend. I met him before, maybe a few weeks ago and was proba
What would be any reasons you didnt want to have sex with someone u normally have tons of sex with? Im just curious on this specific topic lol.
My dude asked me to hold him last night as we were lying in bed. So I cuddled up to him. Fast forward a bit and he was sleeping peacefully while I was attempting to regain feeling in my numb arm wedged under his neck. My front was too hot, my back too col
I just wanted to be able to post this somewhere. Because I am crying and wish I could tell someone how I feel I wish I had a dad who treated me like his daughter. Who, when he looked to me or turned to speak to me, would do so in that magical way. Wher
simple question.. whats your experience about that? (this is targeting other signs than Leos)
Just want to know if anyone else has done this? or been rejected? I've recently gone through a trial such as this and wanted to get some clarity I guess... We started dating over a year ago but had been talking while I was overseas. When I came back
How in the hell do you talk to your partner about something like this? Like I said...we've had discussions, but never made arrangements or anything like that. OMG...I went to a friend's dinner party and I saw this chick who I know is in the lifestyle and I was sooooo tempted to hit her up after the dinner party. I literally had to like...control myself. I already know that she has a crush on me and boy did it show at the dinner party. smh
Even if you're not interested in the lifestyle, please feel free to chime in...because I want to hear people's honest thoughts, feelings, vibe, and even if it's not your experience...have you known of couples who have successful relationships that are this way? I've already looked online at all of the supposedly celeb couples who are in the lifestyle and I've seen lots of info about it in another forum. FYI - a part of this is coming from my increased security in the longevity of our relationship. Like I said...I've had people try to pull me into the lifestyle for a while now. I've never felt comfortable and always knew that if I did...it would be with someone I love and trust...as a couple.