sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
Prenuptial agreements
wow thats a very touchy subject. i totally believe that when you marry , whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine. my friend signed a pre nup, her husband suggested it. he has nothing, she makes all the money. he believes that he is going to have a mega church some day and he wants it to be run by his family.
her reasoning around this was, that she didnt want his church anyway. that is solely his dream. but she also thought of it like a will and testament.
she said you can make certain stipulations in the pre nup, like you do a will. and like she said people can change and turn vicious, when the love is gone. you never know what could happen.
as for me,if it ends, im too stubborn and prideful to take anything, if kids are involved then he has to support those kids. we made the babies together, we take care of them together. as for me, i always like making my own money. i dont like handouts. i didnt even like my parents giving me allowance when i was younger, i prefer to get it my self because then i can spend it the way i want and no one could tell me anything.
as a predestined fail of the relationship, i dont think its that. its just if you have nothing now, you should have your shit together if in fact it does end.
that happened to one of my coworkers. her and her husband had a prenup. he came from a wealthy family and she came from moderate means. she said that when they got together she signed the pre nup to prove she didnt want him for his money. as the 21 years of marriage passed, they wanted to go their separate ways. by this time, she is the Senior physicist for the government and she makes 3 times as much as he does now. they have 4 children (one set twins). he wants her to pay alimony but he forgot about the prenup. LOL
sorry its so long. 😢
her reasoning around this was, that she didnt want his church anyway. that is solely his dream. but she also thought of it like a will and testament.
she said you can make certain stipulations in the pre nup, like you do a will. and like she said people can change and turn vicious, when the love is gone. you never know what could happen.
as for me,if it ends, im too stubborn and prideful to take anything, if kids are involved then he has to support those kids. we made the babies together, we take care of them together. as for me, i always like making my own money. i dont like handouts. i didnt even like my parents giving me allowance when i was younger, i prefer to get it my self because then i can spend it the way i want and no one could tell me anything.
as a predestined fail of the relationship, i dont think its that. its just if you have nothing now, you should have your shit together if in fact it does end.
that happened to one of my coworkers. her and her husband had a prenup. he came from a wealthy family and she came from moderate means. she said that when they got together she signed the pre nup to prove she didnt want him for his money. as the 21 years of marriage passed, they wanted to go their separate ways. by this time, she is the Senior physicist for the government and she makes 3 times as much as he does now. they have 4 children (one set twins). he wants her to pay alimony but he forgot about the prenup. LOL
sorry its so long. 😢
No, thanks, it's good to get stories.
We are both in our 2nd relationship...no more children, we have 5 between us. When he left his ex wife he left without taking a thing of the 11 years that they built up together which gives me the impression that he isn't at all the type to take. Their split was awful as she cheated and moved the new guy in within a month and still he didn't get nasty.
Is this over shadowing my thoughts as I feel in my gut that I trust him completely. He was the one that suggested I get a pre-nup for my own peace of mind...
We are both in our 2nd relationship...no more children, we have 5 between us. When he left his ex wife he left without taking a thing of the 11 years that they built up together which gives me the impression that he isn't at all the type to take. Their split was awful as she cheated and moved the new guy in within a month and still he didn't get nasty.
Is this over shadowing my thoughts as I feel in my gut that I trust him completely. He was the one that suggested I get a pre-nup for my own peace of mind...
Posted by sweethearts
Is this over shadowing my thoughts as I feel in my gut that I trust him completely. He was the one that suggested I get a pre-nup for my own peace of mind...
no i dont think your thoughts are being overshadowed. that previous experience he had shows his true character. he was very vulnerable and hurt, so their was no way he could hide that. but if you want a pre nup get one if it would ease your mind. i dont believe that your relationship would be destined to fail because of it.
his ex is a real biatch!!! well like i say, " biatches like to hang together so im sure karma coming". 😉
So I have started the process of a pre-nup...feels morbid already, maybe because it reminds me of the 6 month long legals of my split and property settlement first time around...
Made up my mind after talking with my mum and although she is happy for us taking the steps of moving in together she also cautioned me on keeping my head on straight and thinking more from a business perspective.
He's totally fine with it all and I guess once it is all drawn up and files we can move forward without giving it much thought.
Made up my mind after talking with my mum and although she is happy for us taking the steps of moving in together she also cautioned me on keeping my head on straight and thinking more from a business perspective.
He's totally fine with it all and I guess once it is all drawn up and files we can move forward without giving it much thought.
I don't think you are being morbid Sweethearts. Not at all.
Who knows what the future holds? You are far better off working these things out now.
As you are well aware, IF things go awry it is all too easy to forget that you once were friends and thought the world of each other.
If things don't go awry then what have you lost by getting the pre-nup? Absolutely nothing.
I hope you are both still holding hands, tip toeing thru the tulips in 80 years time🙂 and you never need think about the pre-nup again.
🙂 at your multitasking skills - being sensible and level headed AND in love, all at the same time.
Who knows what the future holds? You are far better off working these things out now.
As you are well aware, IF things go awry it is all too easy to forget that you once were friends and thought the world of each other.
If things don't go awry then what have you lost by getting the pre-nup? Absolutely nothing.
I hope you are both still holding hands, tip toeing thru the tulips in 80 years time🙂 and you never need think about the pre-nup again.
🙂 at your multitasking skills - being sensible and level headed AND in love, all at the same time.
Absolutely prenup FTW
FTW—
The mind was boggling...
thought "fuck the w—? lol
thought "fuck the w—? lol
We're going to have a prenup. That way if something happens and we begin that emotional crazy process of divorce, we have some logic to fall back on for peace of mind instead of vicious legalities.
I think my Virgo in Venus is showing 😉
We both have nothing, but we both agree on aspects of our financial settlements in the future. We're also going to have a clause in the prenuptials to work with a mediator if we go through divorce.
I think my Virgo in Venus is showing 😉
We both have nothing, but we both agree on aspects of our financial settlements in the future. We're also going to have a clause in the prenuptials to work with a mediator if we go through divorce.
It may be awkward and uncomfortable - but so is a lifejacket. You don't put on a lifejacket expecting to drown or go overboard. But you do it.. just in case.
Either way, you'll be thankful that you came out of the situation knowing you protected yourself.
Either way, you'll be thankful that you came out of the situation knowing you protected yourself.
I understand what you are saying sheath about having a mediator because you can never be sure with lawyers. My ex and I were pretty much agreeable on everything with out settlement and both our lawyers were trying to make us fight over every little thing. It took 6 long months and the lawyers putting the dig in on both ends, especially with me, saying he owed me this and that. Spousal maintenance, child support, lose of earnings blah blah blah which I wavered and then they wanted everything valued up to the last cents which we had also decided we weren't going to do.
The longer they drag it out the more money they make!! Criminal really!
The pre-nup alone has been quoted at $ 3000 and then there is additional for his independent advice! Highway robbery!!
The longer they drag it out the more money they make!! Criminal really!
The pre-nup alone has been quoted at $ 3000 and then there is additional for his independent advice! Highway robbery!!
Oh my gosh. Lawyers will do anything to make it as pricey as possible, no matter the emotional cost. It especially bothers me that they do that when children are involved. That's just heartless to put extra strain on the family.
And I know that I never want to put my fianc? (although obviously I don't 'intend' to get divorced, but irregardless) through the added emotional chaos with legalities. We would be able to sort it out with a mediator with both of us feeling like we didn't get robbed.
Holy shit, is that the normal price for a prenup?! That's worth more than my damn car!
And I know that I never want to put my fianc? (although obviously I don't 'intend' to get divorced, but irregardless) through the added emotional chaos with legalities. We would be able to sort it out with a mediator with both of us feeling like we didn't get robbed.
Holy shit, is that the normal price for a prenup?! That's worth more than my damn car!
Posted by sweethearts
Is this over shadowing my thoughts as I feel in my gut that I trust him completely. He was the one that suggested I get a pre-nup for my own peace of mind...
These two sentences together got my radar up.
If you needed a peace of mind concerning this, then you must have been displaying this to him, in order for him to know to suggest for your peace of mind.
That is not showing complete trust.
Rather than boggling your mind over a pre-nup .... perhaps you should be thinking about what you express to him, and if it differs from how you actually feel.
Somethings don't change P, I have seen my gf taken to the cleaners and dragged through the courts to get $ 120k of HER hard earned money and then because her partner stayed at home and looked after the child while she worked he then got custody of their daughter. Prior to that the bf before him also took half (maybe some earned) but nevertheless still probably more than what was deserved.
Me and my ex went head to head and we battled out and earned together what we now have. Lots of risks involved and also long hours more for him. The split wasn't 50/50 but then I knew he deserved more and we have maintained a good friendship because neither doodled the other.
My new partner, yes he knows how I feel and more than likely why it was his suggestion. Eventually I would have suggested it, I know. He himself walked away from his 11 year marriage and left everything and I think that he was stupid for doing so. He deserved to take something but that is his choice and this is mine, and I'm more sure now than when I started this thread that it is the right thing for me.
Me and my ex went head to head and we battled out and earned together what we now have. Lots of risks involved and also long hours more for him. The split wasn't 50/50 but then I knew he deserved more and we have maintained a good friendship because neither doodled the other.
My new partner, yes he knows how I feel and more than likely why it was his suggestion. Eventually I would have suggested it, I know. He himself walked away from his 11 year marriage and left everything and I think that he was stupid for doing so. He deserved to take something but that is his choice and this is mine, and I'm more sure now than when I started this thread that it is the right thing for me.
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