
wagtail
@wagtail
13 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 1648 · Posts: 8304 · Topics: 67


Posted by wagtailif you're feeling such a profound urge to call someone up then you should. believe me you might be truly surprised by what a weight is lifted off your shoulders when you do. i understand not wanting to open up or feeling apprehensive, i totally get it, but sometimes you just need that release. sometimes even if the other person doesn't have much to say, speaking out loud about it and having someone else just listen can make the world of a difference. opening up and saying the words, your worries, thoughts, fears, can be soothing. so call the person up that you feel the closes to. tell them.
does anybody here struggle with reaching out?
I have something big but super private coming up this weekend and I need to talk about it with somebody, anybody...
I have hmmmm let's say about 6 different people in my phone I could call and say hey are you busy can I talk about something with you?
But it's so private and personal to me I don't know if I want to go there.
Like, I don't want to bore them and though I know they care I don't know if it'll even help.
I have never reached out about something like this before. It's not a habit I'm trying to break either but I feel like I need to.
How do you decide whether or not to open up and basically ask for someone's time.
Just time and a chat. @_@ is it just me?

Posted by LibWmanYou're right. I don't really know what's holding me back...Posted by wagtailif you're feeling such a profound urge to call someone up then you should. believe me you might be truly surprised by what a weight is lifted off your shoulders when you do. i understand not wanting to open up or feeling apprehensive, i totally get it, but sometimes you just need that release. sometimes even if the other person doesn't have much to say, speaking out loud about it and having someone else just listen can make the world of a difference. opening up and saying the words, your worries, thoughts, fears, can be soothing. so call the person up that you feel the closes to. tell them.
does anybody here struggle with reaching out?
I have something big but super private coming up this weekend and I need to talk about it with somebody, anybody...
I have hmmmm let's say about 6 different people in my phone I could call and say hey are you busy can I talk about something with you?
But it's so private and personal to me I don't know if I want to go there.
Like, I don't want to bore them and though I know they care I don't know if it'll even help.
I have never reached out about something like this before. It's not a habit I'm trying to break either but I feel like I need to.
How do you decide whether or not to open up and basically ask for someone's time.
Just time and a chat. @_@ is it just me?
the need that you're describing is enough to warrant this call.click to expand

Posted by sunkisses26This is true. It's hard though... I have 3 friends that would drop everything and listen but I know they have stuff to handle as well... So it's kind of like I feel a bit alone and I don't want to weigh them down even a little bit.
I due have a hard time reaching out...I have a few very close friends that can usually tell if I'm upset or if I need to talk....my advice is to pick some very close to you that you know won't judge you ...and that will listen if you need to vent ...or help if you have a specific problem that you need assistance with you

Posted by xXxAliciaXxXI'm glad to hear it's not just meh.
Oh I struggle with that IMMENSELY.
I hate reaching out to people about my feelings. I never do it. That's probably not healthy though.
I just "talk to myself" whenever I'm going through something. Not in a weird disturbing way, like having a full on conversation with myself lol, but I reflect about what I'm feeling. I reflect on what happened and how I feel and kind of just figure things out on my own. I even cry if I need to. All of this I do when I'm alone though.
I never cry in front of people or talk about significant things that are affecting me in my life. I have always been closed off like this.
If you're anything like that, I suggest you start off simple. With a text message or email. You don't have to beat around the bush. Just say something like "I've got a lot on my plate these days. I'm kind of stressing out." Usually anyone at that point will inquire about what's going on and you can go from there.


Posted by 000sillylion000Yes, I hear you.
I definitely do. It's kind of funny actually. When my friends need a shoulder or an ear, I'm there, but when the tables are turned... it's difficult. And lately, when I do turn to people, it seems like they don't listen or the advice they give isn't advice... but rather judgment? Or a bandaid versus stitches? I blame Mercury RX, but no. It's hard for me to open up and admit I need help or that I'm feeling vulnerable. I'm getting better at it, thanks to some therapy and the desire to... idk, have more people "know me," I guess? Still tough though.

Posted by sunkisses26I know it makes sense.Posted by wagtailask yourself this ...if the situation was reversed and any of these 3 friends needed to talk to you or needed your help ...would you feel like they were weighing you down? No! of course you wouldn't ....don't be afraid to lean on your friends when there are hard times... for me this is what friendship is all about ...being there for each other....Posted by sunkisses26This is true. It's hard though... I have 3 friends that would drop everything and listen but I know they have stuff to handle as well... So it's kind of like I feel a bit alone and I don't want to weigh them down even a little bit.
I due have a hard time reaching out...I have a few very close friends that can usually tell if I'm upset or if I need to talk....my advice is to pick some very close to you that you know won't judge you ...and that will listen if you need to vent ...or help if you have a specific problem that you need assistance with youclick to expand

Posted by wagtailI've been thinking I need therapy, I will look into it definitely but I want the ability to turn to a friend first... It's supposed to be normal to turn to a friend isn't it?
I mean, to just try and see first.
Totally normal to rely on friend! And a wonderful thing to be able to do. For me, the therapy has actually helped me open up to my friends a bit more (because like you say, it's hard for strong people). For me, I was confusing strength for invincibility -- like i would lose street cred if I seemed sad or weak -- which was super lame and wrong. But! One thing I did realize is that you can't start therapy until you are 100% ready. Makes all difference. I would totally recommend it though. Best decision I ever made for myself.


Posted by 000sillylion000Posted by wagtailThanks! That's good to know actually. That it's a viable option. I'm glad it's helped you too 🙂 that's awesomeI've been thinking I need therapy, I will look into it definitely but I want the ability to turn to a friend first... It's supposed to be normal to turn to a friend isn't it?
I mean, to just try and see first.
Totally normal to rely on friend! And a wonderful thing to be able to do. For me, the therapy has actually helped me open up to my friends a bit more (because like you say, it's hard for strong people). For me, I was confusing strength for invincibility -- like i would lose street cred if I seemed sad or weak -- which was super lame and wrong. But! One thing I did realize is that you can't start therapy until you are 100% ready. Makes all difference. I would totally recommend it though. Best decision I ever made for myself.click to expand


Posted by starwarsHehehe it is important, but it's only important to meh... I don't want to drag people with busy lives and families down just to hear me talk about me and my problems.
i think if you start with "i wanna tell you something important" anyone would get excited and listen
besides youre dope youll bore no one

Posted by scorpx3No they can be bothered. I am loved.
If you feel that even one of those 6 people - let alone all 6 - might not want to be bothered by a little "chat" with you, someone's not being a good friend. 👀


Posted by dominoes
PM some weirdo you dont' even know.
Thanks for the offer bruv, you're my resident go to authoriteh on long, cold nights spent huddled up outside 😛
Ahahaha that's the Dxp way fo sho, I should spam err'body in private- start some kind of internalised Internetz therapy unit.
#cyberdust it

Posted by sunkisses26~hug~ thanks sunkisses, you've got a smart friend 🙂 and yes I shall be brave...Posted by wagtailhahahhahah...according to my friend ...pride doesn't taste better than food....and ."pride doesn't feel better than support when you need it"...just take a chance (I know thats terrifying) but your BRAVE...your a leo *wink* I know you can do it! hugs*
@sunkisses26 Aaahahaha that's so funny, I can totally relate that's hilariously adorable.
Now how do I apply that to emotional relationships...
The Ol flip n switch, allowing someone to feed meh - maybe you're right it's my pride.... But it's scary being vulnerable, even when it's tummy time...click to expand



Posted by dominoesThanks dom that's very good advice.
In all seriousness, it may be therapeutic for you to look for insight from a complete stranger or someone that you barely know. There are online services where you can also talk to some random person that is just offering their ear to listen. It might help you. You don't have to worry about being judged if you come off as crazy either.



Posted by starwarsWho can we sacrifice to fix shiett on this pagan site *shakes clenched fist at the sky* Viking stylezPosted by wagtailducan is just testing my scorpio bits, im so close to sting a cookiemonster!!!
@starwars whyyyyyy the DUNCAN aren't your pics working todayyyyyclick to expand

Posted by wagtailAlways here for you bub. Anytime you need a little vent, some advice or just a general concensus.
You guys are awesome, thanks for listening to me whine...
I hope I learnt something. Mainly that's it's okay to reach out. It feels harder than going through something alone, tho...

Posted by LibWmanThunk you.Posted by wagtailAlways here for you bub. Anytime you need a little vent, some advice or just a general concensus.
You guys are awesome, thanks for listening to me whine...
I hope I learnt something. Mainly that's it's okay to reach out. It feels harder than going through something alone, tho...
*kissy lips*click to expand

Posted by starwarsBaaaaahahahahaaaholy crap that'd be goodPosted by wagtaili think we should make a LIST!!!! lololol 😈Posted by starwarsWho can we sacrifice to fix shiett on this pagan site *shakes clenched fist at the sky* Viking stylezPosted by wagtailducan is just testing my scorpio bits, im so close to sting a cookiemonster!!!
@starwars whyyyyyy the DUNCAN aren't your pics working todayyyyyclick to expand


Posted by HouseCleaningYou're so cuddlehh.
i hate reaching for food

Posted by HouseCleaningI mean heavensake housecleaning. You were needed on the message boards a fucking year ago.
i hate reaching for food

Posted by LibWmanhey baby im here for you nowPosted by HouseCleaningI mean heavensake housecleaning. You were needed on the message boards a fucking year ago.
i hate reaching for foodclick to expand

Posted by HouseCleaningMama wantsPosted by LibWmanhey baby im here for you nowPosted by HouseCleaningI mean heavensake housecleaning. You were needed on the message boards a fucking year ago.
i hate reaching for foodclick to expand

Posted by LibWmanvery goldenPosted by HouseCleaningMama wantsPosted by LibWmanhey baby im here for you nowPosted by HouseCleaningI mean heavensake housecleaning. You were needed on the message boards a fucking year ago.
i hate reaching for food
click to expand

Posted by dominoesI felt a NineInchNails reference in there somewhere @_@Posted by wagtailNo worries! Just so you know, my love only goes 7 inches deep. So don't push your limits sweetcheeks.
You guys are awesome, thanks for listening to me whine...
I hope I learnt something. Mainly that's it's okay to reach out. It feels harder than going through something alone, tho...click to expand



Posted by dominoesTotallyPosted by wagtailPosted by dominoesI felt a NineInchNails reference in there somewhere @_@Posted by wagtailNo worries! Just so you know, my love only goes 7 inches deep. So don't push your limits sweetcheeks.
You guys are awesome, thanks for listening to me whine...
I hope I learnt something. Mainly that's it's okay to reach out. It feels harder than going through something alone, tho...
7"!!! Wow you packin'
😛
9 INCH NAILS! That's a band I forgot about.
Shieeeet. Cheers m8. I gotta go listen.click to expand



Posted by GoldigoldI relate. Tell me moah. What holds you back?
I can't reach out


Posted by wagtailBut look at it this way.. perhaps they will enjoy helping you out..Myself at times will do for others to get out of self, it helps to not be so self involved or self absorbed. Not saying you are being either of those.. for ME, it helps get me centered and refocused on stuff around me and in my life.Posted by sunkisses26This is true. It's hard though... I have 3 friends that would drop everything and listen but I know they have stuff to handle as well... So it's kind of like I feel a bit alone and I don't want to weigh them down even a little bit.
I due have a hard time reaching out...I have a few very close friends that can usually tell if I'm upset or if I need to talk....my advice is to pick some very close to you that you know won't judge you ...and that will listen if you need to vent ...or help if you have a specific problem that you need assistance with youclick to expand



Posted by xyIrisingOkay yes, I can get with that.Posted by wagtailI prefer talking to myself, texting myself or writing to myself.
@xylrising hahaha what does that mean?
Everyone has their own battle/issue to deal with. It gets messy when sharing personal things. Disappointment runs deep but so is understanding the condition.
Today, I was driving home and having a conversation with myself out loud. Sometimes that moment of "insanity" is necessary for mental equilibrium. It's necessary because it helps me avoid getting caught up with those heart-to-heart moments and end up with my heart cracked open.
It's different for everyone though.
To answer your question, yes I do have trouble reaching out.click to expand

Posted by RumiLRumiL my lovely, always welcome haha
Wagtaaaaail (:
IDK what to say on topic lol. I don't speak up about certain things too...sometimes I wish there was someone I could sit down and cry to but... never gonna happen :p I want to stop feeling like this TBH. The urge to share has gone down a lot actually.
How about diary? I used to write diary... It's very comfortable lol. Only thing is, it will not hug you back or speak up lol..



Posted by wagtailHeyhey 😄Posted by RumiLRumiL my lovely, always welcome haha
Wagtaaaaail (:
IDK what to say on topic lol. I don't speak up about certain things too...sometimes I wish there was someone I could sit down and cry to but... never gonna happen :p I want to stop feeling like this TBH. The urge to share has gone down a lot actually.
How about diary? I used to write diary... It's very comfortable lol. Only thing is, it will not hug you back or speak up lol..
Yes I just posted about journaling! Same wavelength chica!!
The urge to share has gone down a lot... How so/ why so
😘click to expand

Posted by SpiceNSugarThat was part of my conundrum - who would be best.
@Wagtail
Reaching out shouldn't be the hard part. The hard part is deciding which of those 6 people is the best one to call for the given issue.
Is there one of those 6 who you think will be most receptive and responsive to your issue? When was the last time you spoke to that person?


Posted by RumiLI am overthinking it aren't I. To find the balls to be vulnerable... Sheesh. You are wise my friend- I overthink, the feelz they overwhelm meh,
Wagtail!
If you decide to open up...dont worry okay! It's okay if you do it..and since you never do, I'm sure your friend would listen to you and help you.. Atleast connect with you for those moments. (: ..the beauty of this is ofcourse the connection...(: It will feel good wagtail!
Dont think too much Virgo mercury! :p
You are such a sweet soul to think so much on behalf of your friends.
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I have something big but super private coming up this weekend and I need to talk about it with somebody, anybody...
I have hmmmm let's say about 6 different people in my phone I could call and say hey are you busy can I talk about something with you?
But it's so private and personal to me I don't know if I want to go there.
Like, I don't want to bore them and though I know they care I don't know if it'll even help.
I have never reached out about something like this before. It's not a habit I'm trying to break either but I feel like I need to.
How do you decide whether or not to open up and basically ask for someone's time.
Just time and a chat. @_@ is it just me?