Why do relationships fail?

People stay with people, they keep trying to make things work. They compromise and water themselves down to fit with someone. Do relationships fail because they're one sided, because people just settle, the illusion wears off or some other reason?

Are relationships that fail, wrong from the beginning or do they start off amazing and then go bad? How long before it was no good anymore.. after a week, month, 3 months, a year, or more..

How do you know if you're destined to last or destined to fail?

Posted by FungalInfections

Because people fail to continue making the effort they did in the beginning. When the shine wears off and there’s a dullness left, people aren’t willing to put in the work to bring the vibrancy and vitality back. They expect that lust feeling to last and when it starts to become comfortable or difficult, they bail. It’s easier to continuously seek the novelty and have that fulfilled by an excessive string of relationships.

Ofcourse others fail because a party cheated, someone was selfish, abusive, had a mental disorder, narcissistic tendencies etc.

Some people make that effort for some and not for others. Assuming they're not the cheating, selfish, narcissistic types, what is different about those people that it always fails for?

Posted by FungalInfections

Because people fail to continue making the effort they did in the beginning. When the shine wears off and there’s a dullness left, people aren’t willing to put in the work to bring the vibrancy and vitality back. They expect that lust feeling to last and when it starts to become comfortable or difficult, they bail. It’s easier to continuously seek the novelty and have that fulfilled by an excessive string of relationships.

Ofcourse others fail because a party cheated, someone was selfish, abusive, had a mental disorder, narcissistic tendencies etc.

Agree 100%

That lust obviously disappear with time and it is extremely dificult to maintain for both. It works very well at the begining for the most couples, then, when things settle, true personalitys comes to the surface and thats when that perfect guy or girl he use to be isn’t there. Also scare of loosing someone is responsable for stress, emotional suffer and different “me’s”. Promises, goals and desires, made in the lust season which are impossible to achieve may freeze the relationship.

How many single moms you know? And how many single dads you know? Its scary. I must say also, women in general are not trustworh. When divorce occurs, we men gona see a diferent woman. Did have couple cases with divorced women. Facebook and instagram made relationships superficial. No trust, just acceptance the fact that conections are made daily. An affair is so easy today that being in a relation is at best a begining of a stress routine, even if you re happy. By saying affair, i mean nor only physical contact but also emotional link/conection.

Im considering not marry at all, but i really want to have a kid or two. Respect between couples doesn t exist anymore im afraid.

Everywhere I turn I am met with disingenuous, inconsistent people who are the mental equivalent of watching the bad kid. A huge part of the time the kid's just trying to have fun but he has zero tools to responsibly achieve his goals and he reacts to everything by throwing shit around every time and would rather run the fuck off rather than stand before you and discuss his behavior.

Once you've observed and experienced past a certain point you become horribly aware of how easy it is for people to hurt each other.

I'll just be real fam:

I think most people either don't know or care about -how to really be with another person- , rather -- they want someone to be WITH THEM --

I don't believe there are relationships destined to last. It depends on personality and interests compatibility and also the decision and will to make it last.

This has been covered by biologists and scientists already. It's simply because humans are not monogamous by biological nature. Monogamy is a man made construct. We as a species enjoy intimacy with multiple partners throughout our life. Before modern civilization people formed small groups containing several men and women. Sex was a group activity and the woman's egg would only be fertilized by one man's semen. The way nature intended.

No such thing as ‘destined to last’. You both either put in the time and effort, or drift apart.