Confused by a Scorpio male (Page 2)

I think I am just selfish, I want to be this "other" person that seems to be suppressed in me when I am with a man. It's my main reason for not blending my mother-world with my romantic world.

I have a best friend Aries male who was very good with both of my boys (14 and 10y/o). He's a long time family friend, we met when at 13 and 15y/o so he's like family. Then this year my oldest got a mentor (older Gemini) and we were digging each other severely but since he came in through my son(s) I couldn't even lean into that direction and I so wanted to. It's too risky. My oldest son determined the mentor to be "in love" with me because of the day we spent with him in his lavish home watching movies, drinking wine by the fireplace and then he took us out to dinner. It wasn't love but it was high-level lust. But, yep, it proved my kids were too close.

In mommy-mode I just need my kids to focus on our goals. To see me being in love/lust mode it just confuses my authority. I guess I don't want my kids to know I'm "normal" that way and at the same time I want the men to see me as this "sexual being" and not a "mommy".

Now does that make sense lol.

How is being friends with someone for what 5mos and then dwindling off for two years in which HE plotted us becoming friends again and then after two visits we have sex for the first time.

Then three months later me calling him over for a night of passion since I have the house to myself a problem as for giving up the kitty. Are you kidding? We would have had way more sex by now had he not freaked out. He's a grown ass man, he can't handle little old me?

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MsA .. you are missing my point. The problem isn't wanting sex with him, or enjoying it, or that you have a house to yourself (? kids) .. I'm not talking about the sex, itself, in which makes you a "thater" ... I'm talkin about you THEN .. asking him about his feelings for you, as if there are any. You have zero awareness that just because you two have sex together, and because he's your friend with benefits does this does NOT equate to deep feelings in a loving fashion.

You ask because you want to know .. he told you, I'm telling you .. it's likely that every man in which you did this to has told you, as we tell EVERY frigging Virgo woman in here ..

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL FEELINGS ... this is what goes over your head.

If you want to sex him up, fine, great .. have tons of fun ..... but, if you then attempt to hold him to some kind of loving feelings for you simply because you sexed him up ... then you are terribly confused, in which I've been trying to tell you for months now.

You did this very thing with Pisces man, on the Pisces board, where we first met ..... sex is NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT a definition of a man loving you, and if you ask him this .. you send him packing.

You say you know and that you don't care ... if you know and you don't care, then this means you don't care if he loves you or not .. so, if you don't care whether he loves you or not .. then why bother even asking him in the first place?

Your heart is desperate ... and you've created this monster yourself.


this is a logical concept, MsA .. why does it escape you?

"he held his feelings away from me for two years so I deserve to be dramatic right now."


See ^^^^^ this is what I mean.

He didn't hold his feelings away from you for two years, MsA ... what he did was LEAVE when you attempted to conflate sex with love ... you had sex with him and then tried to applied love to it.

BY HIS VERY LEAVING when you did this ......... IS HIS FEELINGS about the matter = he does not love you, he told you he does NOT love you .. yet, you say that he's been hiding his feelings for you for two years.

wtf?

This same thing with every fucking female Virgo who comes in here .. southern, virgogirl ... all of them .... for Christ's Sake !!!!!!


I have to walk away from this .. you women drive me fucking nuts !!!!

i dont like the comment about southern virgo women.

now i must my add 2cents.

I understand what p angel is saying. if you just want sex from him then why does his feelings matter. whay ask? just fuck and let it be..however I guess its still flattering knowing how he feels... I dont do that if it sex then thats what it is. I never put my feelings out there 1st.. so yes p angle i see ya point.

I am a southern women pls dont generalize. thanks much for letting me add my 2cents.

oh yeah what does treetrunking mean?

Wow thats a lot of messages since I was on here last. As for the Scorp and me being lost without him, it was more a feeling of being lost, because up where we live if you tell one person something then everyone knows a very altered story of what you said. So having someone like him around is very refreshing, I can be myself around him and not have to worry about anything. I don't feel as though I have to hide part of myself away. It's a nice change for me. I have also been going through a minor depression and since he has been back in my life I have been feeling more like myself. I think the fact that I can be myself with him has a lot to do with it.

No matter what happens I will stand by him as a friend. We just have too good of a connection for me to totally walk away from it. I will leave it alone for now, and if things change one day then they do. I have been in the same type of situation a couple of times before, with me feeling something for someone and them not feeling the same, or if they do they are just not showing it. I care about my Scorp a lot and if he were to find a relationship with someone else I just want to see him happy, because he deserves it. His ex gf, mother of his son, broke his trust completely, he came home to find her in bed with another guy while. Talk about trust being shattered. He definitely doesn't trust easily and in the length of time i have known him he has only been in one relationship. He has been interested in a couple different girls but something happens, either he pushes them away or they cannot handle him. Either way it doesn't work. Trust is a major thing with him and not something he does easily, I just stay completely honest with him. He may not believe me on occasion but that isn't something I can force him to do. I know that he does trust me to a certain degree and thats all that matters to me at this point, the rest will come it time (meaning more trust from him)

He doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to have to change his routines and other things, or the nagging gf who expects him to do this and that. But part of him wants it too. We have talked about this a few times. I know that he isn't fully ready for a relationship, but I get the feeling that he wants to keep me close by for when he is ready.

The other Libra and I have been talking through all of this stuff and I get along with her really well. She's a decent girl and is still hung up on him, it's hard n

She's a decent girl and is still hung up on him, it's hard not to be. She's not a total nut job, but can act like it from time to time, especially when it comes to men.

I was asked about my chart so here it is:

Sun Libra 22.06 Ascendant Scorpio 6.29
Moon Taurus 20.10 II Sagittarius 5.09
Mercury Libra 28.27 R III Capricorn 9.01
Venus Sagittarius 7.21 IV Aquarius 15.35
Mars Leo 26.45 V Pisces 18.36
Jupiter Libra 21.03 VI Aries 15.18
Saturn Libra 13.59 VII Taurus 6.29
Uranus Scorpio 28.09 VIII Gemini 5.09
Neptune Sagittarius 22.35 IX Cancer 9.01
Pluto Libra 24.12 Midheaven Leo 15.35
Lilith Sagittarius 2.18 XI Virgo 18.36
Asc node Cancer 27.28 XII Libra 15.18

Sorry for the length, i tend to ramble with my writing at times, just hope it makes sense.

Ok, I just woke back up. 🙂 So, I'm not feeling overly chatty about repeating myself.

P-Angel, I said I got what you are saying about the fact "thater" and how "this does NOT equate to deep feelings in a loving fashion". I'm not retarded. I know he's not in love with me. I don't recall stating so. I'm right there with you. Duh...

I know I was wrong to get him riled up by talking about love. That's the only thing I cop to being in the wrong about. But, you're running both instances together. I said, that the first time we were intimate, I asked him how long he's been wanting to be intimate with me? Those feelings of wanting me sexually. He said it's always been there. Hmm... we were friends for 5mos and I thought you might've liked me that way. But, why not come right out and say so and CHANGE our friendship 3yrs ago? He held on to wanting me sexually for three years. Why?

That said to me... EVERY time he's been in my presence he wanted me sexually even though I thought we were JUST friends (having none of THOSE feelings for each other) I asked him, "So where does our friendship go from here?" because I now know he has SEXUAL feelings for me ones I never had. I believe he sees me as someone he can have both worlds with. So, if this is the new us then I want to know otherwise I will just keep being me, which brings me to this. He's a Scorpio male, there is NFW I could go back to being with any other man, ignoring him, and expect that we would still have a friendship. He would hate it. So, in order to hold on to my friendship I investigated where he wanted this to go. Are you with me?

Anyway, I know he's not in love with me. He said he wasn't. I know he doesn't want a relationship with me. He said he didn't. He just wants to chill in my presence and occasionally have long passionate nights with me, his friend. Yep, no feelings there whatsoever.

Virgo83, southern is another VirGal here on the board. 🙂

littlelibra81 said: "I have been in the same type of situation a couple of times before, with me feeling something for someone and them not feeling the same, or if they do they are just not showing it"

I can relate to this statement and I will tell you, don't always think you're wrong about them not feeling the same. A lot of people play mind games when it comes to romance. People have their own issues and it there is usually no place for someone new if they haven't dealt with those issues. And in the same, people hide their true feelings for fear of being hurt again. People who don't have feelings for someone distance themselves completely and I do mean completely.

*****
"He doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want to have to change his routines and other things, or the nagging gf who expects him to do this and that. But part of him wants it too. We have talked about this a few times. I know that he isn't fully ready for a relationship, but I get the feeling that he wants to keep me close by for when he is ready."

I think we are dealing with the same Scorpio man. His words to me last night was that I would start expecting things if we got in a relationship and he just likes his freedom. So they're both worried about changing their routine. Well, so am I and with three little ones I bet you can't imagine too much more of a tall order on your plate right now.

Why some people are afraid to just fucking try a relationship, if it doesn't work, then guess what... it just doesn't fucking work. Am I really the only person who can bounce back from throwing in the towel? When my experiences with a man is over, I move on. I do not linger to see if he will change his mind. I don't try and influence it. Women are always open to repairing love, so if a man wants to make up then I'm all ears as I'm sure many women are. We'll listen. But, if it's over, move on. I think some men are afraid that a lot of drama will ensue if he breaks up with a woman. I didn't give my Scorpio friend drama after I figured out there was issues that our friendship never showed. Three months went by and not a peep from me. However, I have bad behavior too so back to the drawing board, but I will not give him drama about today either.

littlelibra81 said: "She's a decent girl and is still hung up on him, it's hard not to be. She's not a total nut job, but can act like it from time to time, especially when it comes to men."

Well, P-Angel thinks I'm a nut job. I'm not, I'm a really decent girl. 🙂

I see a lot of what she thinks I don't but she doesn't see what I see. I guess we're opposite but the same in more than just the zodiac. Anyway, it's always best to get the full view of things before judging. That girl isn't acting bananas just because. Scorpios are good at somehow getting people to lose their minds all the while telling them no. It's weird. I don't envy them lol.

There's not a lot of earth in your chart as I would have thought. You sound a lot like me and a few other earth sign women I know. But perhaps it's your moon. I'm not that good at this to be able to say.

You have a lot of air in your chart so I would think that would be the most dominant in your style than anything. I don't get "air" from you except maybe the part about being friends with the other woman and being a little too hard on her.

Recognize a Scorpio spade for a spade. Do your homework and preferably by reading what others who have loved one says. It's too late to tell you don't get caught up in the zodiac aspect. However, I'm not sure you should ignore that with a Scorpio. Be strong and hang in there, you will like where this takes you. 🙂

littlelibra .. sorry about the confusion .. when I said 'southern', I wasn't talking about a location ..

excuse me I did misunderstand that


hey has any one dated a libra

Yeah, I lived with one for 3 years ... but, I'm not a Scorpio ..


(thank Gawd) 😉

f


u

what?

ok.

i'm just trying to make sense of it, is all.

I have to agree with unusualcancer.