lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts
Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by cornflower2Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidSorry but you do not seem get the situation at all. He was the one who told me he loved me very early on, but he mostly does this through texting and never makes time for me in real life. He also was the one who wanted to spend 1 or 2 weeks vacation with me this august. Then I make time for him and he says, he will ask his boss for the time off, but he never does...
People move at different paces and if you can't respect him taking things slow he's not for you. That does not make him a bad man at all, just different from you.
The way you talk about him shows zero respect towards him, and I'm sure he senses this in your communication too. It's only been a few months and yet you're being so demanding of him. He had a job and children and is financially strapped but rather than sympathise with him you're demonising him.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just being honest. As a fellow Aries moon, I think you're focusing way too much on your own feelings/needs and not taking his into consideration.
If he is too slow/casual for you, just move on.
He is the one who always tells me, that he wants to see me every weekend. But when I try to make plans to visit him on the weekend he goes golfing alone! instead, visits other (platonic = his words) girl friends or he is out drinking with some male friends. Still I stayed patient and left him his space...
Whenever we saw each others I paid my share as well, trying to find nice things to do that don't cost a lot. But he is the one who always wants to eat in the most expensive restaurants, where he orders expensive food and drinks for himself while I order just a soup or so. I listen to his job problems or other stuff that bothers him almost every day on the phone, but he never asks how I'm feeling or how my day was.
So honestly, I think I showed him a lot of patience and respect, but I do not get these much from him return...click to expand

Posted by starloverThanks for your empathy Starlover. This is how I feel as well: drained and empty.Posted by cornflower2When i read this, i felt totally drainedPosted by SomeSortOfMermaidSorry but you do not seem get the situation at all. He was the one who told me he loved me very early on, but he mostly does this through texting and never makes time for me in real life. He also was the one who wanted to spend 1 or 2 weeks vacation with me this august. Then I make time for him and he says, he will ask his boss for the time off, but he never does...
People move at different paces and if you can't respect him taking things slow he's not for you. That does not make him a bad man at all, just different from you.
The way you talk about him shows zero respect towards him, and I'm sure he senses this in your communication too. It's only been a few months and yet you're being so demanding of him. He had a job and children and is financially strapped but rather than sympathise with him you're demonising him.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just being honest. As a fellow Aries moon, I think you're focusing way too much on your own feelings/needs and not taking his into consideration.
If he is too slow/casual for you, just move on.
He is the one who always tells me, that he wants to see me every weekend. But when I try to make plans to visit him on the weekend he goes golfing alone! instead, visits other (platonic = his words) girl friends or he is out drinking with some male friends. Still I stayed patient and left him his space...
Whenever we saw each others I paid my share as well, trying to find nice things to do that don't cost a lot. But he is the one who always wants to eat in the most expensive restaurants, where he orders expensive food and drinks for himself while I order just a soup or so. I listen to his job problems or other stuff that bothers him almost every day on the phone, but he never asks how I'm feeling or how my day was.
So honestly, I think I showed him a lot of patience and respect, but I do not get these much from him return...click to expand

Posted by lisabethur8@lisabethur8 - You're right: I'm not the chaser. I like to be pursued by a man ( at least in the beginning of a relationship), but I feel myself forced to chase him in our current situation and it's eating me up inside. So no good feeling = no good situation for me. That implicates I need to be strong and try to to let go...but it's hard!
@cornflower2, I don't think you are compatible with this guy. it sounds like you need a man to CHASE you and you are not the chaser.
edit you are too impatient and don't seem to realize that he's going to be going nowhere unless you do something about it. It seems to me you have to be the go-getter. Just like my husband's scorpio sun cousin was. she was the go-getter.

Posted by lisabethur8I'm self employed, currently looking for new job opportunities, so money is sometimes tight. He knows that. Sometimes he pays, or I do. Point is, he tells me the weekends with me are expensive for him, so I try to find nice restaurants or events, that are not too pricey. So we can save money and see each other more often.Posted by cornflower2Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidSorry but you do not seem get the situation at all. He was the one who told me he loved me very early on, but he mostly does this through texting and never makes time for me in real life. He also was the one who wanted to spend 1 or 2 weeks vacation with me this august. Then I make time for him and he says, he will ask his boss for the time off, but he never does...
People move at different paces and if you can't respect him taking things slow he's not for you. That does not make him a bad man at all, just different from you.
The way you talk about him shows zero respect towards him, and I'm sure he senses this in your communication too. It's only been a few months and yet you're being so demanding of him. He had a job and children and is financially strapped but rather than sympathise with him you're demonising him.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just being honest. As a fellow Aries moon, I think you're focusing way too much on your own feelings/needs and not taking his into consideration.
If he is too slow/casual for you, just move on.
He is the one who always tells me, that he wants to see me every weekend. But when I try to make plans to visit him on the weekend he goes golfing alone! instead, visits other (platonic = his words) girl friends or he is out drinking with some male friends. Still I stayed patient and left him his space...
Whenever we saw each others I paid my share as well, trying to find nice things to do that don't cost a lot. But he is the one who always wants to eat in the most expensive restaurants, where he orders expensive food and drinks for himself while I order just a soup or so. I listen to his job problems or other stuff that bothers him almost every day on the phone, but he never asks how I'm feeling or how my day was.
So honestly, I think I showed him a lot of patience and respect, but I do not get these much from him return...
oh I see. he doesn't sound frugal.
but you seem to be in a tight money budget if you count on what he orders. (btw,you said that you pay your own way ect, but if he is paying for his own food, does it bother you that he buys expensive for himself? 😕
edit - oh I don't like the "he sees his platonic girlfriends" thing.
click to expand
Posted by cornflower2it's sad that you have to, but it's up to you.Posted by lisabethur8@lisabethur8 - You're right: I'm not the chaser. I like to be pursued by a man ( at least in the beginning of a relationship), but I feel myself forced to chase him in our current situation and it's eating me up inside. So no good feeling = no good situation for me. That implicates I need to be strong and try to to let go...but it's hard!
@cornflower2, I don't think you are compatible with this guy. it sounds like you need a man to CHASE you and you are not the chaser.
edit you are too impatient and don't seem to realize that he's going to be going nowhere unless you do something about it. It seems to me you have to be the go-getter. Just like my husband's scorpio sun cousin was. she was the go-getter.click to expand

Posted by tizianiOh but it absolutely is. How can one take the high and mighty position in life and keep up with delusions of being a prize if they don't do that?
I don't think it's necessary to demonise this man. At the end of the day, it just sounds like you two genuinely don't communicate on the same level. His last message strikes me as a very vulnerable, yet also a downer. It's no fun to have something just open up to you on their emotions from a distance without any plans, although ironic that you dismissed the very real depth in his message because you couldn't see your place in it. Simply put: miscommunication. A natural result of long-distance and not being able to learn one another's habits/quirks in person.

Posted by LeDominoes2 people make it or break it. not just one. i don't see herself going hard at herself too for her part here...i don't see the humbleness in thinking "well maybe we just didn't flow well together" nor the willingness to consider points of view that clash with hers. i see however how in every post she adds another morsel of "isn't he just a douche" tidbit to slant the perspective of the audience.Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidWhere did I say you did not think she was genuinely looking for advice?Posted by LeDominoesPosted by SomeSortOfMermaidShe has said something that is demeaning / belittling of him? It appears that she is genuinely looking for advice.
People move at different paces and if you can't respect him taking things slow he's not for you. That does not make him a bad man at all, just different from you.
The way you talk about him shows zero respect towards him, and I'm sure he senses this in your communication too. It's only been a few months and yet you're being so demanding of him. He had a job and children and is financially strapped but rather than sympathise with him you're demonising him.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just being honest. As a fellow Aries moon, I think you're focusing way too much on your own feelings/needs and not taking his into consideration.
If he is too slow/casual for you, just move on.
Where did I say she's not genuinely looking for advice?
Also, she might not have said anything outright demeaning but the way she describes him (not his actions) show she doesn't hold him in a very high regard. His sun/moon combo is very intuitive one and he will pick up on it, if he hasn't already.
She sounds hurt and is troubled. What did you expect?click to expand


Posted by starloverLibra and Aqua...? How could they not...? Who would really love us, if not Libra Venus?Posted by lisabethur8How can libra venus be compatible with an Aqua Venus though? Just because they are trine, and there may be some common ground, it still doesn't get away from the fact that romantic libra venus will not feel connected to the cold and detached aqua venusPosted by cornflower2Posted by lisabethur8
maybe because you are super duper smart, OP.
aquarius venus men also love brainy gals.
LOL Yeah he always says he likes that I'm so smart and that he loves my dry, witty humor. But sometimes I found myself wondering, if maybe after spending more time with him, I would realize, that he might be too superficial for me. I guess we're not compatible in regards of emotions and relationship goals
you have libra venus though, that is compatible with aqua venus.
from his chart, it sounds like he is the super shy type and you have to do the pursuing.
click to expand



Posted by busyeyes88Actually, it could have lasted forever if it was after me......but Gem wanted to see if the grass was greener elsewhere! I was heartbroken.Posted by UndineYour 'rebound ' lasted two years!!! One of the 'lucky' ones huh and then you went back to your ex .... Hmmm
Oh...and I have no idea what a "rebound" relationship might be. I found Gem ex one day after being dumped by Aqua. We were together for two years. When it ended, I went back to the Aqua within a couple of moths. It took so long because he was abroad 🙂.
Everyone knows rebounds very rarely work as is the case here!!!click to expand

Posted by LeDominoesThis isn't about kicking anyone when they're down. With every pat on the head, coddle, and "you go girl, men are shit", she never has to address anything in HER behavior. So from one life experience to another, there is no awareness that there were TWO people involved.
so instead of kicking her while she is down
Posted by cornflower2Posted by KoniuchaaIn the beginning he always where I wanted to live, since I currently look for a new job and want to move as well. He said, when I want to come and live near him that's okay, but if I want to stay in my city, he'd look for a job there, to be with me... But that was in the first 4 weeks of our dating. Now he rarely speaks of this...And I have to agree with you, I do not feel like he puts a lot of effort into the relationships
Are you planning on eventually living close to each other?
Sorry, but after reading what you wrote, it doesn't sound good to me. I wouldn't be ok with him being in contact with an ex, unless they have a child together. Just doesn't sound like he is putting in much effort.
His Ex was also a Scorpio, he was obsessed with her, they were together 6 months only, seeing each other every 2 weeks. He told me he had to get psychological help after the breake-up with her (that was this February)click to expand



Posted by cornflower2yw. but it just doesn't sound like he's interested in a serious commitment. he sounds like a forever bachelor. he likes you but it's not enough.
Part Two: After the very confusing part about his Mum, he gets all soft and cuddly again and asks: “Please tell me something nice, you know I love you and I could see you every weekend, even every day!” So I say fine, then let’s be more specific, because I need to plan my life as well. Let’s meet on the weekends 07/29 and 08/06, I’ll come to your place and we can enjoy a wonderful time together at your coast ” And Boom! It’s very quiet at his end on the phone. I ask again and he says, let’s sleep over this and talk about it later. I tell him that I do not want to postpone it any longer, either he really wants to see me, then there is no harm in confirming to meet at these 2 weekends or he just wants me for his attention, or as a virtual girlfriend…He then says: “Well, I will try, if I can be free for you the weekend on 07/29 and I will tell you within the next days.”
That was the last straw for me and I knew then and there that I had to end things. Otherwise he would continue to string me along and nothing would ever change. So I thanked him for our nice time together, told him I appreciated many things he did and said to me but that I cannot be in a relationship any longer, where my partner doesn’t commit to meet and spend time together. I wished him all the best and ended the call.
One part of me feels sad now that it didn’t work out with us, the other part is a little relieved that all this quarreling for meeting with someone who constantly text you his love but never shows it through actions, is finally over…
I want give a big THANK YOU to all the people here that gave me valuable advice and comfort in my troubled time, I really appreciated this a lot. A special Thank You to @LeDominoes, @starlover, @tiziani, @lisabethur8, @busyeyes88
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edit you are too impatient and don't seem to realize that he's going to be going nowhere unless you do something about it. It seems to me you have to be the go-getter. Just like my husband's scorpio sun cousin was. she was the go-getter.