Morals or friendship?

My best friend (sagitarrius) and I had a big falling out the other day. She said I was judgemental and I feel my judgements were necessary..she's quite naive and I was merely looking out for her. Some aries guy "fiddled" with her a while ago and I remember her breaking down over it..that she wasn't good enough to sleep with but good enough for everyhing else. This disgusted me so I was naturally very vengeful against this guy..I've never met him, but I can only go on how he treated her.

Now fastforward a few months and much to the surprise of everyone she is best friends with him. She said she's gotten over their little problem and everything is fine now...problem is, I know she doesn't accept this guy as a friend but more..he doesn't see her anymore than a friend..she claims to be fine about this but I will like to see her reaction when he finds a girlfriend..

She said to me that I was being petty and childish for not accepting him and moving on rather than string it out..and that he is her friend now so I have to just accept that..I have never had anyone speak to me like that so of course I went at her with a verbal knife...

To be honest, the friendship has been tainted now..I will never forget that she put the feelings of her supposed boyfriend over a friend who is geniunely trying to help out and watch out for her. Is that all it takes? a man?...

I am a very black and white person...I am not going to carry on a friendship if I can't be myself..isn't that what friends do?..dish out opinions..you either listen or ignore but you don't change your friend as a person..

Do you think I am being harsh in wanting to cut her off completely? I can't be friends with someone if I can't truly be myself and I am not going to pretend for anyone..never..

Do you think as Scorpios, we make our friends or loved ones face the mirror moreso than they can handle?

"Do you think as Scorpios, we make our friends or loved ones face the mirror moreso than they can handle?"

Yes we do. Or at least I do it.

You are not alone, my sag sister and I friendship is tainted has been for a couple of years.

I have learned to stay out of my female friends friendship/reltionships with men. I don't voice an opinion unless ask, and as always the final decision is the womens who has to live with it. I try not to judge any of my frinds male friends, I just try to be there to have a shoulder for them to cry on.

Hmm thanks for that. I will always have an opinion and will always verbalize it..It doesn't mean you have to listen to it...that's what friends are for...so does this mean everytime she has a guy friend and she asks my opinion, I am supposed to just say what she wants to hear? I don't bloody well think so...I do not pretend..I will not lie..

Not sure if I can get past this though..sounds ridiculous to throw away a solid friendship over this but it's tainted..

The truth is, I find her a bit too willing when it comes to guys...but I have been told many a times not to judge anyone by my own standards....it's a question I've been pondering now for a few days...whether to just let her get on with it and keep it at a pretentious level (it's never going to be that close anymore...not after what she said) or just forget it completely. In all honesty, if it wasn't for the upcoming holiday with her I would've disappeared...without a doubt...a lot of stuff has come out of the closet lately when it comes to friends..

I guess I will see when I get back from holiday. I cannot pretend for anyone..

lol @ mike...yes I am not bothered about anyone right now..all my energies are focused on finding the taurus..and find him I shall 😉 can't wait to snog his face off!

oh and EG..she falls in the latter category..I lost contact with all my childhood friends..they are either married or moved away..I was a moody cow in school..lol..preferred isolation..kept everyone at an arms length...was too busy fighting off being scorpio and inner demons to really connect with anyone..had many acquaintances though..

If all it takes is a guy you've known for 6 months to split up a 6 year friendship...then well...theres something to be said about it..

I hear you....Like I said, I have no issues cutting my ties..a person who has grown up pretty much alone and fended for themselves don't need company to keep them alive..I feel pity for individuals who constantly need others around them and flattery to keep them alive...

I wouldn't call it cutting my losses..as this would imply she added value of some kind to my life..On the contrary, in fact, it was I who toughened her up..when I met her I could barely hear her squeak out a word...But isn't there a famous quote along the lines of teach a dog to bark and he will bark at you eventually..or something to that effect..Anyways, I am very much a perfectionist and demand a lot from my nearest and dearest..if they don't deliver to the level I deliver, I simply do not want them in my life..This has been tainted so if we do remain in contact it will be at a very superficial level...I knew I couldn't trust anything gemini!..LOL..no offence EG...but she has gemini rising!..It's funny how both friends with gemini in them have been wiped off my friends list this week!...

this is why scorpios get blood pressure problems😛

Missmo, i'd have left her alone with her decision. let the person realize that they made a mistake. let them learn their lesson in natural progression. thats my philosophy.

"I have been told many a times not to judge anyone by my own standards"

I think whoever told you that, meant good by it and yes it's something worth pondering on. I don't think you meant bad by handling that situation the way you did but you should keep in mind that it is Her going through Her life and not you going through Her life, therefore you have to consider her nature when assisting her in that situation and not You (being emotionally involved). You really have to take yourself out that equation. Know that whatever deems true for you in that situation becomes an opinion when trying to apply it to another, in that same situation. My best friend of close to twenty years is a Leo and besides a few major values we have in common, we are very different. We disagree on almost everything, simply seeing things from a different angles, but at the same time, I would trust him with my life. I think the heart behind whatever we say to each other is a good one. We simply have our own opinion on what's best for each other.

Ack! Is there something in the air? What is up with Scorps and having problems with friends?

I feel for you MM. Let her burn herself. You said what you had to. If she chooses not to listen then it's all on her when she comes crying to you. Try not to say I told you so.... as hard as that might be.
Good luck.

Sometimes you have to let people take their own road in life, my sister in law and I have a saying because it pops up all the time...you know... horse water drink! lol

We understand each other but are also parents and know first hand that no matter how much you know and can see, it doesn't make it any clearer for the person involved...they dont hear anything or anybody but themselves and their own feelings.


As a friend, you just have to be there to help pick up the pieces should that be the case.

Walk away for a bit if it frustrates you and you cant bear to watch but also understand that you cant force your opinion onto others!

I think it's her life ..... and she has a right to live it however she chooses to live it, even if she's wrong, and you're right about this man.

And I think that a friend would allow her to live her life .... even if she is wrong, and the friend is right.

I think that for you to turn-coat on her, simply because she was candid with you about wanting to live her life for herself, rather than how you want her to live it .... makes you out to the be the bad guy in this scenerio ... and nothing to do with mirrors of truth that you have presented to her, for her to face.

Thanks all for your input. We haven't discussed it but I am sure we will on this holiday. As far as relationships go, I am not going to advice her at all from now on if she asks. If she falls, then she picks up the pieces. I am not working on duracell power here, if I waste my time giving advice and you don't listen, frankly i couldn't give two hoots whether you fall to pieces..pick them up yourself...And GScorp or Satori, can't remember who said it..but yes biting your tongue on the "I told you so" is sooooo difficult..lol..

She is first and foremost a human being and yes she is allowed to make her own mistakes..It's not a jealousy issue if someone said that here..She's just a bit naive but hey she can make her own mistakes....We just don't talk about relationships any longer...that's the pact.

Lol @ pouting...I wasn't pouting I think I was more shocked at her sticking up for this guy..given how he treated her..but I guess love makes a fool out of all of us. I am not the only one thinking she's a complete mug but the others just don't have the balls to say it. To each their own. If this does turn into a love relationship for them then fab. I will eventually meet him. I am just going on what she told me about him. Me and our Taurus friend both told her he's no good..but hey whatever...

I guess each relationship differs. Some people can handle the truth, others can't.

Elena - Controlling, yes I can be...controlling situations...but not to my benefit always..what would I get out of controlling this. I just like things orderly I guess.

I am never afraid to admit to my mistakes, if my behaviour is outrageous then I ask opinions on it..I take it on the chin and learn from it..I don't brood or sulk. I guess in this situation I was taken back a little how much she's defending him judging by how he treated her. But if she thinks that's fine..then so be it.

Like I mentioned above, don't judge by my own standards...I must practise this mantra....lol..yoga yoga...

missmorals: Do you think as Scorpios, we make our friends or loved ones face the mirror moreso than they can handle?

that is spookily very very true. well put missy 🙂

the trouble is, if the friendship has changed, there's not alot you can do but move on really. you can't choose your family but you can your friends and all that. if she wants to make an arse of herself with the aries and suffer the humiliation when he drops her 'friendship' in favour of a proper girlfriend - then she will have her moment to regret ruining the friendship she had with you.

i hate the way some women become so pathetic when they meet a man. how could you ever respect her after that?!

Rox, you are right..."if she wants to make an arse of herself with the aries and suffer the humiliation when he drops her 'friendship' in favour of a proper girlfriend - then she will have her moment to regret ruining the friendship she had with you."

I can guarantee you, the minute he finds a real girlfriend and he starts spending time with her and not paying the Sag attention, watch the dynamics of the friendship change...At the moment if he has got a girlfriend he's hiding it from her..if he hasn't he's obviously available for her...but this won't be for long..

And you are right, we can't choose our family but we can our friends...what we can do is rely on our family..because guaranteed when shit hits the fan, who will be there for you? yes..family...blood IS indeed thicker than water..I found that out last Friday..when in a moment of strife..who came to the rescue? my Leo sister..love her as I do..she had the flu (not of the swine variety.lol) but she still made it...I love her for that..my so called friends were under the thumb with their man!..

When it's tainted, it's pretty much the end...And I stand by my statement..we do make our friends and loved ones face the mirror...some can handle the reflection and others just avoid it because they are afraid.

MM did Sag come running to you after Aries "fiddled" with her the last time? I'm just curious. I had a friend do this to me alot. She'd get involved with a creep and when he dumped her or treated her like dirt she'd come crying to me about how big of a jerk he was. Of course since she was my friend I'd go off about how she deserved better and call him the appropriate names to make her feel better.
A couple weeks later she'd get back together with the guy and expect me to hang out with them after I'd called him every name under the sun... with her approval. It made for some very tense outings with them.


If that's the case with you I totally understand and think you should really cut the cord. Fair weathered friends have no place in my life. I'd expect not in yours either.

Yes Gscorp..she did...she even said to me on the phone "you won't believe what he did..if that was you, you would've hurt him physically but I wish I had your strength"..blah blah...I felt really bad for her...and indeed called him all names under the sun..she did too...but fast forward 2 months and he's made her believe that she was the one who came onto him when all he wanted to do was be friends...so does he fiddle with all his female friends? and that makes it all alright does it? makes me sick...

And you are right, it's not the first time this has happened...First it was a cancer who treated her like some prostitute, fucked with her head so much she nearly lost the plot, then there was a pisces guy, then an aqua, then a taurus....and now an aries...

But you know what..to each their own..I haven't the time for people like that..and I definitely don't do superficial...I need realness...A virgo friend at work (she has scorpio rising and venus in scorpio) we can be so critical of each other, really have an argument..everytime we disagree or have an argument, we come out stronger..that's the kind of relationship I want..she doesn't sugercoat anything..she says it how she sees it and I totally respect her for that. I don't want to be in a friendship where you are afraid to voice an opinion because it's going to hurt some sensitive little person who can't handle the truth..

Satori said if we do make the person face the truth, we'll end up having no friends..I think that's why majority of the scorpio keep people at arms length..do you blame them....

Ah ha! Yep. I don't blame you one bit for telling her like it is. I'd have done the same. It seems you practiced way more patience then I would have.
I'm protective of my friends. Loyal to a fault but if I keep hearing the same sob story over and over it gets plain old. I'll stand up for them but if they sway back and forth I'm done.
I don't get why people repeat the same actions over and over again without learning. *shakes head*

Have fun on your trip. 🙂 France? Aw man! Lucky girl!

Yep the lovely south of France...can't wait..not long to go now...Hope it's sunny..