Aine
@Aine
12 Years
Comments: 7 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 3
My Boyfriend Isn't Usually The Jealous Type...
"I just always thought you were a woman who carried yourself in such a way..."
Sounds like something said to intentionally hurt you. Not sure why he's so upset. Sure, some think bringing up the past is distasteful, but to have a reaction like that - what does he expect? There may be some underlying possessiveness that I would keep an eye on to make sure it doesn't become too problematic. Stand strong and be whatever kind of person you want to be. If he wants to be a baby about it, then that's his own problem.
Sounds like something said to intentionally hurt you. Not sure why he's so upset. Sure, some think bringing up the past is distasteful, but to have a reaction like that - what does he expect? There may be some underlying possessiveness that I would keep an eye on to make sure it doesn't become too problematic. Stand strong and be whatever kind of person you want to be. If he wants to be a baby about it, then that's his own problem.
Hi Aine, I also have a Scorpio (Sun) boyfriend of more than 2 years and I will try to help the best I can 😛 I don't think you're crazy in this situation, if anything, your man is making this a bigger deal than it is. His possessiveness is shining through and it seems as though he cannot handle a mature conversation between you two. I'd suggest you to still try talking to him in a calm, rational manner. He should be able to come to his senses and understand the light of the situation. I think he just took it the wrong way because he loves you and was in shock to know that he was wrong the whole time before you told him. Do not feel guilty, stay strong and hold your ground with him. He should accept your past, as you have done so with his.
How exactly did the conversation start about your ex? For him to make this statement out of the blue..doesn't seem likely. Was a detail shared that he had no knowledge of before..so he reacted to that?
Does he know the guy you lost your virginity to?
Unfortunatly .... I have been the same person as being described as above (not like that anymore though), part of me that I really disliked and took quite a while to overcome it. I think it basically came down to a territorial thing and possesiveness, double standard...
Basically don't talk about this kind of subject with such Scorp, but now the cat has been let out of the bag.
Basically don't talk about this kind of subject with such Scorp, but now the cat has been let out of the bag.
I agree with Damnata. Although he may have never shown this side to you before, doesn't mean he isn't jealous/possessive. Perhaps there was a detail you shared that he totally wasn't expecting. Obviously his mental picture of who you were (even if it was way back then and you may not be the same person now), has been quashed.
I have scorpio rising and a bunch of planets in scorpio... and there are things about my husband's past love/sex life I would rather not know.
I have scorpio rising and a bunch of planets in scorpio... and there are things about my husband's past love/sex life I would rather not know.
I use to be like him, until I did a lot of work on myself. I think it's just as simple as he feels like you're his and it's hard to differentiate the past with the present. Like he's taking this as a shock as if it's something new but it's old, yet the information is new to him. Scorpios like to know absolutely everything but then dealing with the consequences is another thing. I remember when I found out who my ex gfs first kiss was I acted the same way. I told her that I was surprised she gave it up so easy to a randomer. It's like we push buttons for reassurance, for you to say I'm sorry it was a mistake even though you shouldn't because it's the past. I remember her saying that it happened before she even knew I existed. For me personally back then Finding out something about her past litteraly made me feel like it had just happened. I had a lot of growing up to do. You haven't done anything wrong at all so just remember that and don't let him make you feel guilty. Just let him know it was in the past before you knew him and that you're with him now and you love him. You could even throw something cheesy in like if I'd known you were out there I would have waited. Lol works on me -shrugs-
Seems like an odd reaction to something that happened so long ago. Does he know the person? Thats the only reason I could maybe see being so absurd, but even that is still kind of weird.
Posted by tizianiCheers! 🙂 Nice to see you.
Nightbynight 🍹
Hey everyone! Ok well, we spoke a bit and he was a lot better later on in the evening. What worried him was that the guy I had lost my virginity to, wasn't a long time boyfriend.. he was just a friend.. so he thought that it would be possible that while single, I was sleeping around with friends who didn't mean much to me. I told him not to assume such things, and that nothing like that occurred during my single years.. and even if it did, it shouldn't matter.
I have never seen him react like that... we've both been under a lot of stress and extremely irritable... but I made sure to let him know I wasn't happy with his behavior.
Thank you for your responses.
Posted by Arielle83The 2 year mark! It's always a crazy one... lol 🙂
Mines starting to show jealousy too!!!
Weird. Married nearly 2 years and now he acting like he's gonna lose me.
Posted by MiketheScorpYes, yes and yes. The Double Standard thing drives me crazy. You scorpios... you're something else.
Unfortunatly .... I have been the same person as being described as above (not like that anymore though), part of me that I really disliked and took quite a while to overcome it. I think it basically came down to a territorial thing and possesiveness, double standard...
Basically don't talk about this kind of subject with such Scorp, but now the cat has been let out of the bag.
It was brought up because a friend of ours mentioned it in passing... as she didn't think it would be a big deal... but it was to him.
Posted by PancakeFaceYes buttons were pushed and I reassured and reassured. You're right though... just because it happened a long time ago, doesn't mean it's new news to him.
I use to be like him, until I did a lot of work on myself. I think it's just as simple as he feels like you're his and it's hard to differentiate the past with the present. Like he's taking this as a shock as if it's something new but it's old, yet the information is new to him. Scorpios like to know absolutely everything but then dealing with the consequences is another thing. I remember when I found out who my ex gfs first kiss was I acted the same way. I told her that I was surprised she gave it up so easy to a randomer. It's like we push buttons for reassurance, for you to say I'm sorry it was a mistake even though you shouldn't because it's the past. I remember her saying that it happened before she even knew I existed. For me personally back then Finding out something about her past litteraly made me feel like it had just happened. I had a lot of growing up to do. You haven't done anything wrong at all so just remember that and don't let him make you feel guilty. Just let him know it was in the past before you knew him and that you're with him now and you love him. You could even throw something cheesy in like if I'd known you were out there I would have waited. Lol works on me -shrugs-
I threw the, "I wish I would've waited" line out there. 😉
Posted by AinePosted by MiketheScorpYes, yes and yes. The Double Standard thing drives me crazy. You scorpios... you're something else.
Unfortunatly .... I have been the same person as being described as above (not like that anymore though), part of me that I really disliked and took quite a while to overcome it. I think it basically came down to a territorial thing and possesiveness, double standard...
Basically don't talk about this kind of subject with such Scorp, but now the cat has been let out of the bag.
It was brought up because a friend of ours mentioned it in passing... as she didn't think it would be a big deal... but it was to him.
Posted by GobshiteWell, unfortunately for some of us Scorps, we're just born programmed that way.
The lack of rationale, regarding Scorpios, never ceases to amaze me...click to expand
Trust me, I never chose to be irrational or double standard and extremely jealous type. I did however recognize it and hated it with a passion. Therefore I did chose to greatly improve upon these quirks...
A Scorp NOT jealous over what they think is THEIRS?
lolz. Newb.
lolz. Newb.
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He has never shown any real traits of jealousy but this is a side of him I haven't seen and I'm trying to talk to him about it but he's being pretty cold. - I told him to please stop projecting his fears/frustrations/inner feelings off on me and making me feel as though I did something wrong because at the moment I am feeling guilty and I know that it's absurd for me to feel guilty over something I did over a decade before we met.
We won't even be able to sit down face to face until later on in the evening so it's even more frustrating to me that I have to sit through these feelings until we can finally be together.
He said to me, " I just always thought you were a woman who carried yourself in such a way... it's hard to hear something like this." ... I mean really? - It made me feel like I look different in his eyes. I asked him if he thought of me differently and he said no, but what he said was painful... and unnecessary.
And he's no angel either.. that's what I'm so frustrated over. When we met one another it was a given that neither of us were virgins, and that we hadn't been in a very long time.
Can someone please enlighten me to this behavior? - I'm not crazy right? - I just need to give him time to figure his thoughts and emotions out.
I have a Scorpio Moon (Aries Sun) so I understand the feelings of jealousy, and possessiveness, but I also understand we're adults here and there are people from our past... it's just how it is.
I'm doing everything I can to keep calm, and not say anything out of line that will offend him because pointing fingers isn't going to get me anywhere... a soft approach is the way to go but I'm about to lose it. 😢