Scorpio and *mutual* breakups

So someone on this forum wrote in a thread that
"Even if you break up with him because he won't commit, or you're sick of waiting, it doesn't matter. He will still resent you."

How true.

After a soul connection with my man that started with sex and then went backwards into dating and love, and a turbulent 2 years together where although we cared for each other a lot, we struggled with being unable to go public with the relationship (for work reasons plus a large age difference), we both are very very much in love. Still are. Both sides. And there are no mind games. He gave them up a while ago, although he is still weird about privacy and alone time, but I know that's just him being a scorp and needing his space. I'm a Gemini, Cancer moon and Cancer venus, Cappy rising.

But with his workaholism and his "being poisoned on the idea of marriage", "wanting a family since he was 20 but being scared to death of it at the same time" (both his words) and "never ever having felt so open and connected to anyone in his life" - at the end of a rough few months, I decided he either had to do something to further the relationship and change his life style to accommodate "his dream of a family" or call it quits. He was sad that I was unhappy and I truly believe he tried but it wasnt good enough for me. So we had a heart to heart and we decided it would be better for us to call it quits. We both still call each other a few times a week, and its an open conversation each time about knowing that we still care, and that it will be slow for both of us to move on.

I just don't know where to go with this. When a scorpio gives up the games, and I love him despite seeing all his flaws, I love him for having the courage to break down his walls and let me in, should I feel guilty for wanting more?

Am I being completely insane in thinking that somewhere he is waiting for me to crumble? He isn't trying to get with me physically only because I told him categorically not to (it makes it hard for me to think straight about us when we have sex because, well, you know.)

He is hurt. Scorpio is ruled by emotion, not what makes sense, not what's logical. Even if he agreed with your logic, his heart is wounded. You do have a right to want more. You have a right to feel how you feel. I don't really get what you mean 'waiting for me to crumble'..? And I am not sure what to tell you to do.. you need to do what makes you happy. If this isn't it, you need to move on. Scorpios are EXTREMELY stubborn people, he isn't going to change just because you want him to. It is possible to love more than one person. If he isn't willing to have the life style you want, maybe you were not meant for each other. You will probably always love him (and vice versa), but if you are unhappy, this relationship isn't meant to be forever.

Posted by Skykomish
He is hurt. Scorpio is ruled by emotion, not what makes sense, not what's logical. Even if he agreed with your logic, his heart is wounded. You do have a right to want more. You have a right to feel how you feel. I don't really get what you mean 'waiting for me to crumble'..? And I am not sure what to tell you to do.. you need to do what makes you happy. If this isn't it, you need to move on. Scorpios are EXTREMELY stubborn people, he isn't going to change just because you want him to. It is possible to love more than one person. If he isn't willing to have the life style you want, maybe you were not meant for each other. You will probably always love him (and vice versa), but if you are unhappy, this relationship isn't meant to be forever.

Thanks for your reply Skykomish, are you a scorp yourself, or with one? You seem to know them well.

I know he understands why we broke up, its a last resort for both of us. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't annoy me a little bit that he would rather let me go than make the change. The change is for him to be with anyone, not just me. His jetsetting ambition allows him no time for personal life, and his family will attest to that as much as I will.

Yes, I think part of him let me go only because he doesn't want to see me unhappy - esp if the source of unhappiness is him, or rather, the lack of time with him.

By crumble I meant well we've been on and off a few times, as all couples do, and every time we just have to meet and we wouldn't be able to stop getting back together, no matter who was in the wrong. This time is different, we both know it, but I hope he didn't think the breakup would give me time to miss him and be happy with what he could give me after all...if you see what I mean.

Posted by sunnygirl

Thanks for your reply Skykomish, are you a scorp yourself, or with one? You seem to know them well.

Ignore that part just saw your profile.

It's true emotions rule us, i even get insecure and get impulsive 😢 like
I never broke down my walls of privacy, even to a girl i loved for 2 years dated for 1. It's just something I'm never going to do ha.

hang in there and be strong 🙂 thanks for helping me, (it feels good when anyone says something to me about what I said to my now ex-gf)

Posted by thankscorpio
It's true emotions rule us, i even get insecure and get impulsive 😢 like
I never broke down my walls of privacy, even to a girl i loved for 2 years dated for 1. It's just something I'm never going to do ha.

hang in there and be strong 🙂 thanks for helping me, (it feels good when anyone says something to me about what I said to my now ex-gf)

No worries. Everything passes, and its good to not be in a noone-understands-me rut, although with scorpios it might well be true coz they dont let people get close enough to understand!

no disrespect, but if you did get back together, are you sure things would change? Would you be able to make more time for each other or are you just making up to break up? She won't stay for long if nothing changes..I'd hate for any couple to go down that route, itll only end with more heartache down the road.

Oh it's okay. I really don't know you have a point there.. Reading that I might actually be over this. We did this twice (break up and get back together) now it's the real deal (even though last time was suppose be our last time together, we went on a "date" and ended up fucking that night so that didn't work).

my god, i love you right now
+ a million internets for you
because say I were to tell her I miss her and still love her. Lets say she said "yeah lets get back together"

after that happens we're just gonna be like we were last week, texting each other all day telling one another how we both miss each other.
THEN
repeat and I'll end up here complaining about us not being together again.

thank you for helping me figure out my own mind ...

Posted by thankscorpio
Oh it's okay. I really don't know you have a point there.. Reading that I might actually be over this. We did this twice (break up and get back together) now it's the real deal (even though last time was suppose be our last time together, we went on a "date" and ended up fucking that night so that didn't work).

my god, i love you right now
+ a million internets for you
because say I were to tell her I miss her and still love her. Lets say she said "yeah lets get back together"

after that happens we're just gonna be like we were last week, texting each other all day telling one another how we both miss each other.
THEN
repeat and I'll end up here complaining about us not being together again.

thank you for helping me figure out my own mind ...

i'm actually shocked i could actually help...free internets accepted (whatever they are, i'm sure i want a million of em!) 😄

so let me turn a question back to you - should i then text my scorp just to tell him i miss him even though i dont want to get back? im thinking about it but applying my own logic, seems futile to tell him!

LOL seriously now I'm completely(at least over 60% ) over her. you helped so much ... thanks again... friend!xD

Awwh you're kind of going to be leading him on :/ . We like hearing stuff like that.
You send him "I miss you"
He'll receive "I miss and love you [+a cute smiley]"

Why don't you want to get back with him?

Posted by thankscorpio
LOL seriously now I'm completely(at least over 60% ) over her. you helped so much ... thanks again... friend!xD

Awwh you're kind of going to be leading him on :/ . We like hearing stuff like that.
You send him "I miss you"
He'll receive "I miss and love you [+a cute smiley]"

Why don't you want to get back with him?

Hm, okay then, I won't 😢

Don't want to get back coz I know he doesn't have space in his life for a relationship (he has a really hard job + his own business on the side). He has tried several times and it ends up with me waiting for him to turn up and he finally ends upcoming for 30 min before I have to go. And I need more time with him on a daily basis to feel connected, and for this go forward. It was amicable, there are no hard feelings, he needs to sort it out on his own time.

Yeah we pay attention to the little things I swear, it's horrible.

Well in that case.. i have space in my life for a relationship.....wanna grab some coffee later? nah lol.

Posted by thankscorpio
Yeah we pay attention to the little things I swear, it's horrible.

Well in that case.. i have space in my life for a relationship.....wanna grab some coffee later? nah lol.

haha! you're funny. to be honest im sure we'd get along, most of my friends are scorpios.

i told my best mate - who happens to be a scorpio male btw - that this guy would suddenly find a ton of time that he never had before now that he doesnt have me. man was i right, i called him saying " i just wanted to make sure you were doing ok, coz im not". he asks me out for a movie. tonight! i havent seen a movie with him in 3 months...but awww, it was sweet. i know its hard for him to find 4 full hours undisturbed. i said no though. wont do any of us any good to get back into bed together and back to square one. which will *so* happen.

Posted by thankscorpio
Yeah we pay attention to the little things I swear, it's horrible.

Well in that case.. i have space in my life for a relationship.....wanna grab some coffee later? nah lol.

haha! you're funny. to be honest im sure we'd get along, most of my friends are scorpios. except im in australia!

i told my best mate - who happens to be a scorpio male btw - that this guy would suddenly find a ton of time that he never had before now that he doesnt have me. man was i right, i called him saying " i just wanted to make sure you were doing ok, coz im not". he asks me out for a movie. tonight! i havent seen a movie with him in 3 months...but awww, it was sweet. i know its hard for him to find 4 full hours undisturbed. i said no though. wont do any of us any good to get back into bed together and back to square one. which will *so* happen.

you have a good attitude sunnygirl...i hope everything works out the way it was supposed to...

so you think your scorp is waiting for you to crumble...yeah i think that 2 sometimes

Yeah probably I have a girl Gemini cousin. I've known her since 4 and she's just fun (now a sophomore in high school) I feel old. I don't really like Male Geminis.. they annoy me, but they don't mean no harm, they're quite charming, but they rub me the wrong way. Female Geminis on the other hand are always so beautiful.

I know exactly how you feel. A night of movie watching always meant sex so I always came prepared, it was funny

Posted by thankscorpio
Yeah probably I have a girl Gemini cousin. I've known her since 4 and she's just fun (now a sophomore in high school) I feel old. I don't really like Male Geminis.. they annoy me, but they don't mean no harm, they're quite charming, but they rub me the wrong way. Female Geminis on the other hand are always so beautiful.

I know exactly how you feel. A night of movie watching always meant sex so I always came prepared, it was funny

I have NOTICED that! Always prepared, even when you go to meet them to "talk" or for only "a quick bite and then I have to drive back home". And you ask, well maybe its too old, and they reply, nope, just popped it into my wallet today morning. And I'm like...watttttttttt?? Man what is going on in that head of yours and what else do you have in that? A Swiss army knife and a month of food supplies?

Posted by DMV
you have a good attitude sunnygirl...i hope everything works out the way it was supposed to...

so you think your scorp is waiting for you to crumble...yeah i think that 2 sometimes

thanks DMV, I'm hoping I keep it together till I've been apart from him long enough to know - either way - if this was the right thing to do. I've heard it takes 60 days to break a habit. Let's hope I last 60 days then 😉

So, to my friends at dxp, just wanted to let you know I gave in to him 5 days down the line when he said "im on my knees 😢" went over for a night, cried as he held me, and went to sleep in his arms. next morning he says "i know we are not out of the woods, and thank you for giving in". and then he flew off on a business trip and bam bam babbang, i hear nothing from him for a week. 3 emails later he says, "sorry ive been unwell and busy, talk you you when i get back".

come on. you beg a girl to come back and then you forget about all the promises you made to get her back? so ive got all my stuff out of his apartment, left my keys in there, and sent him an email letting him know we are done. no response so far. im so sad. and angry. and disappointed. i really loved him, but i have only so much patience, and i deserve better.

Posted by domino_O
what is with internet names these days. Sunny girl? thank scorpio? Seriously?

how is domino_) better?!!
im sure you meant well but im in a crappy mood please don't bug me with inanities today..

Posted by sunnygirl

.. we both are very very much in love. Still are.

... "never ever having felt so open and connected to anyone in his life"

He was sad that I was unhappy and I truly believe he tried but it wasnt good enough for me.

wow


First of all, if a Scorpio is very much in love with a person, and has a life-altering connection with another then all hell could break loose before they would break loose of this person.

Second, if a Scorpio does break up with a person, then it's highly doubtful that they will be sad because they thought of themselves as not being good enough.

Third .. you are lying to yourself .. wake up.

Posted by domino_O

Posted by sunnygirl

Posted by domino_O
what is with internet names these days. Sunny girl? thank scorpio? Seriously?

how is domino_) better?!!
im sure you meant well but im in a crappy mood please don't bug me with inanities today..

because Domino_O isn't as cheesy as sunnygirl :p and it includes a face 8D o_O

Lack of substance? I'm just trying to fit in.

click to expand

Sorry for being so brusque earlier, I'm feeling a little more in my element today.
So what does Domino_O mean?

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by sunnygirl

.. we both are very very much in love. Still are.

... "never ever having felt so open and connected to anyone in his life"

He was sad that I was unhappy and I truly believe he tried but it wasnt good enough for me.

wow


First of all, if a Scorpio is very much in love with a person, and has a life-altering connection with another then all hell could break loose before they would break loose of this person.

Second, if a Scorpio does break up with a person, then it's highly doubtful that they will be sad because they thought of themselves as not being good enough.

Third .. you are lying to yourself .. wake up.

click to expand

He has tried to get me back before - he'd fly back early etc if I was hitting breaking point.

He didn't break up with me, I broke up with him. And yes, for that reason - I deserve better. He's an amazing person, but he has no idea how to *consistently* run warm. Its either hot or cold. Can make me feel like I can't rely on him. His jetsetting work life style doesn't help. His family feels a similar pain. Difference is, I can leave before I become like them - always waiting.

I woke up. That's why I left. What part were you referring to when you said I was lying to myself? THat he didn't feel that strong a connection as me? Those were his words, not mine. I write in my diary, I never say such cheesy stuff to his face.

Posted by Sultanaa
🙂 Doms.. you're just fine... you were born to belong to this crazy land long before you felt the need to fit in.. go antagonize the ones on the Misc board now 😛..

sunnygirl,

hope you are doing a little better than what you were before. you have given your all to the relation, even went back to see how much all of it meant to you. Have patience, you had the courage to see it through till the end, there are two possible outcomes to this - he either might be sorting himself out and there is a chance he will come back to you after the trip and make it all up to you for behaving like that, or he begged you back only to leave you (according to some scorps here, they may hold onto their sanity by "them leaving their partner" than the other way around). Let things play out at their own pace, give yourself some hurting time and build back yourself. without the time to heal from it, there is a chance you might tend towards desparation and clinging on to the past. It will do you immense good if you can keep yourself busy. You have handled it very well until now, keep doing the same.

Thank you so very much for your kind words, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts given I am never the one who feels vulnerable.

He is back in the country as of 12 hours ago, but I haven't heard from him. He cannot come back to me. I have autodelete set on my email and I have told him I never want him to contact me again, not even to discuss getting back, not to stay friends, not for closure, not for nothing. I'm glad I did that. His pride will ensure he doesn't contact me, even if he wants to.

I don't think he has a chance to get back with me and then dump me. I know they are like that, and that's why I won't go back. Trust me, he is hurting. But he had plenty of chances. Plenty. There is nothing I wouldn't have done if he had met me halfway. He knew that for 4 months as I waited for an answer.

I'm not sure I handled it well. I tried ending it and staying friends (see my first post), but he didn't even know how to sustain the friendship. That's disrespectful, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm a Gemini, I don't like being patient. I want to get over him - NOW! 🙂 I hate that he has me feeling like this while he blocks it out and concentrates on work till he finds someone else (that's his pattern, he did it when he broke up with his ex and started going out with me as well).