Scorpio and Virgo Dilemma (Page 2)

"BUT the caveat is: what kind of guy would hold out that long? " - one who is desperate to be shown that he is loved and desired"

Or alternatively, a guy who doesn't admit defeat.

So,

Ok I think I get it. This is obviously a control issue. I have come to the conclusion that your both wrong, because your not communicating your concerns in a mature way. You are both using your weapons to manipulate each other. What is it about you virgo's with this distancing, non-initiating trip that you go on? Do you need to create drama or distance just to stay in love. Or do you need to be treated mean in order to behave? Scorpio needs sex like most people need air to breath - so be careful, you are playing with fire. If we get frustrated sexually, watch out. I have a feeling you may already know this.

this is super silly.... I mean really.

Super silly, or...supercilious?

Tough crowd...

Interesting point SweetPea..not sure what the Virgo deal is -- I'd say most of us are masochists..you know how Virgos like to serve! Yep, I do know about playing with fire with scorps, they seems so intense about almost everything..especially this issue. I will say this -- Virgos aren't ones to "fall apart" either, although, I'm not giving up on him yet.

So,

Have you worked it out🙂

Sweet Pea

Sweetpea:

Yes,in typical Virgo fashion...I'm thinking - thinking - working up the courage - scared - thinking. Thanks for asking.

You lot and your bloody thinking...

Gawd sakes..

MissMorals:

So true! Not only is this frustrating for the reader, but for me too! Not to mention to my scorp.

Action what your thinking

😛

LOL..No that was at So...

But you an action too if you like..bring out that mars

LMAO...Don't worry you'll be fine...just sit cross-legged for a while until everything returns to normal

Sheeeeeeesh..yuck yuck..lets talk about something else

No its not gross..I am just a prude

yeah the virguy I know claims to be the best lovers of the zodiac..I had to assure him and point him to the Scorpio sign..LOL..

"yeah the virguy I know claims to be the best lovers of the zodiac..I had to assure him and point him to the Scorpio sign..LOL.."

Come to the teacher to learn more on this.

Thats good to know..I am sure there won't be any complaints from him..Although I think I need to teach him what a relationship entails though..LOL..our ideas differ slightly bless him..I am sure he knows..he's just being modest..or trying at least!

"Come to the teacher to learn more on this."

Are you referring to yourself there G or me?

"Are you referring to yourself there G or me?"

Am the professor here.

Ooooooooh hark at you!

Pluto's Muse:

I believe my Scorp is genuine too but i'm skeptical --(typical virgo) it's now been 1 month and a half! This boggles the mind..Now I'm having a hard time believeing that he even notices we haven't had sex. Scorpios tend to be pretty good at "i don't care" attitude. Any other man I was ever with would have been boucning off the walls by now. Yep, I'm being pigheaded too.

Hmmm...well lets hope you don't come crying about it a few months down the line...I can't stand people who do not come to sort of compromise to overcome the issue like adults!

There will come a point when he will geniunly not care anymore and you will wonder whether you actually knew him at all...

MissMorals:

I'm wondering if I know him at all now..certainly came on STRONG for a long time and now...thud.

So...I actually like you for some unknown reason..

How long have you guys been together?

Seriously don't let him slip into that mode..as if you don't know him at all..he needs attention...is crying out for it in his scorp way...Trust..somebody has to give here or there will be doom.

I do find sometimes or rather I've seen it one too many times..when women become pregnant/have a child, the husband/partner seems to get neglected..pushed to the sidelines..I can imagine this must feel awful for the guy...

MissMorals:

4 years total. Living together for 2 yrs.
This didn't happen overnight -- as nothing involving emotions does - but we've let it fester, fester, fester!
Corny as it may sound, we're drawn to each other -- the actual sex itself is pretty great, but, alas, here we are. I'm not big in the self-confidence department (especially now with my pregnancy look), he always came off as being really overpowering in this area. He now says that by my not initiating, he feels as if I don't want him...I do, I do -- I've told him this..apparently, it's not enough.

Aaaah I see..lack of confidence in this department..maybe you think if you initiated, you won't match up to his expectations? Are you shy/reserved?..it can be difficult I can imagine..If you have told him, then I guess he should try and understand..but I bet you haven't told him about not feeling confident in this department and also feeling ugly with the pregnancy thing...or have you? If that is his only hang up..then I guess just try it..push yourself to do it...you'll only overcome your fear if you face it head on..

Sorry I feel like a self help class!..LOL

Ms. Morals:

I'm only reserved in this particular area. No other area in my life -- I don't like taking any crap from folks, I'm very sociable and honest, I've bought homes to fix up and flip--you get the picture. But, yep, in this area..I'm no aggressor - as this progresses, it makes me feel less sure, lacking...as I know he feels the same way too now. He told me a long time ago in conversation that pregnancy sex is the best (his ex g/f was pregnant back in early 90's) so, here I am in the same boat -- where's the great pregnancy sex? Why am I different? Lacking in comparison? Yes, I have told him this..his answer : "no honey, you're not lacking, you simply don't initiate and she did" Thanks, but that does NOT help and that hit below the belt..call me sensitive..yes, me, the Virgo -- sensitive....
So, back to the vibrator.

"So, back to the vibrator" - LMAO..Aww...So why can you initiate with the vibrator and not him?...he's hurting thats why he's snapping back and making comparisons..not nice but we do it..tsk tsk..bad I know..

Oh come on now hun, just jump on him whilst he's lying down in bed fast asleep..he'll be half asleep and won't even register..later you can tell him you did initiate but he didn't even notice..throw a strop..blame it on him for him being inconsiderate!!!..hahaha..or whip back the covers and go down on him!..lol..do something!!!!!

Problem is..us Scorps don't understand how one cannot initiate..as we do all the time..guess it comes naturally..I think we do to some extent take it personally..i.e. the person not being interested in us or not find us attractive anymore etc..

I wonder if there are any shy Scorps out there..I am appear shy and reserved to strangers but in the bedroom...well...LOL..I am a prude too so don't like to talk about it..

I am = I

I have a suggestion...

Flush the vibrator down the toilet (yeah, I know, heretical). At some point you ARE going to get horny enough that your lack of confidence isn't going to matter one bit and you WILL jump his bones.

So,

Please don't wait too long. I don't want you two to suffer. Your pregnancy in itself can add a whole new bag of emotions to the mix. Your feelings surrounding motherhood and your sexuality can take a hit positively or negatively. Some pregnant women feel morally conflicted on a sexual level when they really appear pregnant, and having sex at that stage is not always easy, but you are in the very early stages now? Some men do thoroughly enjoy sex during pregancy for many reasons. So I think he still wants you and desires you. I'm curious to know how he feels about your pregnancy?

SweetPea:

He's been excited about the pregnancy and overly cautious with everything I do (ex: if I get home late from work, he calls on the cell constantly to make sure everything is ok; makes dinner with xtra veggies and protein) etc.etc.

This pregnancy wasn't planned, but, hey, obviously if you go out in the rain w/out an umbrella, you get wet..you get the picture! When we found out in November he was ecstatic, let's just say I wasn't..I wasn't prepared -- as virgos go, well, prepping is SOO important to us. He seemed to have taken my hesitation as some offense to him -- it was not. Time, talking about it, emotions and some rational thinking have me now looking forward with anticipation and xcitement. Anyhow, as cliche as it might sound after all of this ranting---I love my scorpio and believe it or not, this hurdle has been the hardest to deal with, and doesn't come easy for me -- I mean, for us.

Archer: "(I am not asking you to rip his clothes,,, but just touch him)"

::wipes tear::

Oh thats so beautiful

:p

Yes she's right you know!

I'll say this, u guys make me laugh! Thx...

So,

Very glad to hear that he is excited about the pregnancy and that you have come to welcome it. Now that you've embraced it - you can let your detail and planning mode kick in as your baby grows. Your baby will feel your emotions good and bad, so try to stay balanced in your relationship with scorpio. Your mate also can experience affects of your pregnancy from overeating to depression to fatique, etc. Scorpio can brood for long periods of time in isolation and it's hard to tell what the outcome of these episodes will bring. If you love him and want him in your life and to be the father of your child, let that be the purpose that you build your life around for now. I don't mean to get all serious and deep, but the sex will come back when you are both communicating openly and clearly to one another. Try to eliminate the need to manipulate. Take care of yourself little "mommie."

Thx Sweetpea

So, hows it going?

LOL..

MissMorals:

I know I don't have to tell you that I haven't budged yet. LOL.
Went to a wedding this weekend and my Scorpio had a few drinks and true to form when he does get tipsy, gets boisterous and graphic (he said a few things that he probably shouldn't have with mixed company--hehehe...)

Needless to say, next morning, we got into a loud discussion in which I told him that I thought that he went over the top the night before and that the last three times we've had sex he's had a few drinks which is making me feel kind of crappy. His response? "Well, So, you make me feel crappy all the time when it comes to this issue--at least I'm coming onto you, drink or no drink, deal with it!" Here's my response: you're either: gay, screwing someone else or not into me" -- this did not go over well--yes, I wanted to say something to hurt him and to "justify" what the hell is going on.
After a day apart in separate rooms, he approaches me and basically says "I can't do this alone, not asking you to become Ms. Exhibitionist, but, come on -- you're no virgin and I won't reject you, this means alot to me to show me you want me"

So, yes, I guess i get the asshole award!

Oh man..I know he was wrong to say that whilst drunk but I guess drink makes you do stuff like that..

I feel like reaching out and hugging him myself...you cruel woman you!

I know, I can certianly be cold! I called this morning and apologized for how rudely my comment came out..although, that is how I'm feeling. I also told him that I know he couldn't have a sexual relationship with me all alone, but to understand that I have an even crappier self-image now that I am 20 pounds overweight pregnant. Should I not be sensitive about having only had sex 1 a month and, lately, while he's had some wine? He says that as this situation has gotten worse, initiating while somewhat flagged does wonders for him! Gee, thanks! My scorpio drives me batty but I love'em.

"I love'em."

uh huh, sure you do... right.

you're lucky you're having his kid, otherwise i don't know why he'd stay.

Yeah you need to pay him a little more attention hun..seriously..all jokes aside..

So you are absolutely out of your mind woman, what are you waiting for?

Dear, if you keep this drama up I will see you with a baby and no man by your side and all because you could not make the move to jump his bonesssssss!

Go for it!

okay seriously... you sit around wondering why he hasn't had sex with you
or why he has to drink in order to get close, well it's because you aren't initiating anything..and it's making him feel like crap, totally undesired...i mean what else do you need to know, he's obviously making a point by witholding sex from you, and you don't really seem to be trying to make things better....

i can understand your feeling self conscious ...but this is a man that loves you and is trying hard to get you to see how he feels, he's very patient...i don't know a lot of guys that would stick around so your very lucky...

i'm pretty much repeating everything everyone else has said...but i feel sorry for this guy.

true...

but random sex he can get anywhere, what he wants is to feel that connection with the woman he loves...

yeah but that's not happening because the woman he loves is playing little manipulative power games over the stupidest thing in a relationship.

i dunno... maybe we're being unfair, but how many people really wouldn't consider trying to pleasure their partner or make him/her feel loved and desired?

in instances like this i under the notion that if she won't do something (outside of things that could harm her), then it's fair game to get it somewhere else.

*under=understand

from what i know a lot of couples go through this, but it's a two way street and compromise is important...so is communication... bumpy roads can be fixed when two people are mature enough to take whatever has happened and work at it, it doesn't seem that she's really working on it, she's just going around in circles... asking too many questions when the answers are right in front of her.

essential part of being a woman....? lol maybe...not always true though. i for one am more than willing to come to an agreement and work something out. asking questions helps you further understand things.

So,

What signs fall in venus and mars for you sweetheart?