SCORPIOS AND SELF DESTRUCTION

are all of you as self destructive as me? sometimes it's scary 😢 any substances, dangerous activities, are usually welcome. it's been this way since i was a teenager and i am 25 now, when is it going to stop?

"when is it going to stop?"

When you'll make it stop.

It may not be the answer you were looking for, but that's basically it-you have the power to stop this.

well i used to be really self destructive, in terms of not caring about school, and doing a lot of drugs, and what-not, and i've changed i'm not like that anymore, but i think YOU are the one in charge of making that change, self destructive behaviors usually come from a deeper meaning, it's not like one day you wake up and realize oh today your gonna do bad things, there's usually other things that make you go over-board and act destructive.

it takes courage to really dig deep and change your ways, you have to be happy and content with yourself to make that change...and willing to go through with it.

at least that's what i had to do.

I am still self-destructive at times...Don't see it as self-destruction, knowing that I have the power to make it stop whenever I want to and I mostly DO!..

Self-Destructive...sometimes. Not as far as substance abuse or reckless behavior mine is more of emotional self destructiveness. I try not to indulge into that too much. I am crazy enough.

I'm not a Scorpio, but, my son is and I see a lot of what you all say about yourselves in him, too. From the outside, looking in to the Scorpio (with son), he almost appeared to me at times, that he was completely blinded and out of control, for his passion would lead him to almost utter destruction. Being a mother, I felt like I was falling with him, helpless and terrified for his sense of self-worth, wondering if suicide was being entertained. That's when he was younger. Now, that's he older, I've come to realize that that was all in my perception, and not at all reality, for if I've ever learned anything at all about Scorpio's . . they have secrets.

DB: "Never pity the scorpio who falls...it is an opportunity for change...even if that change is slow...the scorpio will evolve..."

I see this now that he's 25, and I've realized that he evolves from being broken. Only in times of despair is it obvious to him that a door has opened. It gives him strength and resolve to push higher and greater.

Self destruction, escapism.....it's a lonely road. When we pick up our heads and look around at the world, the world that is still going on around us, that is when we make a choice. A choice to stop escaping and deal with the situation.

My self-destruction has come in many forms. Not just alcohol. I have never used drugs. But many other ways. Revenge, sex, even isolation from the world. But it's when I'm at my worst that I dig deep inside and find my resolve. I don't need counsel, anti-depressants, or even friends. I need to find and isolate the 'hurt' to nurture and heal it.

When you look up and find the world still revolving, when you are ready to step back into life, you will find the courage to change your self-destruction into reconstruction. But you are the only one that can do that for yourself.

"My self-destruction has come in many forms. Not just alcohol. I have never used drugs. But many other ways. Revenge, sex, even isolation from the world. But it's when I'm at my worst that I dig deep inside and find my resolve. I don't need counsel, anti-depressants, or even friends. I need to find and isolate the 'hurt' to nurture and heal it."

That is so true JP, When I left the Cap (my choice) I knew that what I was about to do was going to hurt me but, my morals and principal meant more to me so I made the choice and I secluded my self from the world for about a week although I was still dealing with the pain of my decision, I found an outlet, I started throwing myself into my work and pick up a hobbie and then I went to work on me and know I can call him sometimes and just say hello, without my heart acheing for him and thats when I knew I was over him, and I gain more strengh and determination to move on. And today I have evolved. LOL

You are strong, SL. Leaving someone, knowing your going to hurt, is harder than suicide! To do it knowing it's going to take time to heal, and then healing without getting into alcohol or substance abuse takes alot! You're my hero! 🙂

JP you are funny. Thanks,

It took 6 months, LOL

JP you are funny

I make you laugh? Do I amuse you? Am I a F**king clown?

-Goodfellas

*not exact quote* LOL!!!

LMAO, hell you are funny ha ha ha ha ha

well...interesting thread, kinderk.

i battled with drugs (coke, meth, heroin) all thru high school, lost a lot of my relationships to it and lost the opportunity to go to a four year college because of it. all the friends i made thru the drug culture i inevitably lost and looking back on it now, as a 19-going-on-20 scorp i can honestly say i've gained much more insight into life, but i've also socially ostracized myself from my peers who aren't necessarily as "aware" as i am of certain things.

when people ask me why i did drugs, i tell them i learned the happy birthday song as a toddler from AA meetings. it's sad but i sometimes think we're born into certain things, but scorps especially are born into trauma and somehow wrestle out their better nature because of it.

I do drugs from time to time, but I wouldn't say I'm self destructive.

I was born to a stripper and a dad who was barely around(later on,he became the better parent though) so there was always drinking,partying,drugs,etc. around me.I hated it when I wasn't doing it🙂I was very,very anal as a kid and looked down on people who did drugs,casual sex,drinking,smoking,etc. cause its stupid.Still think it is but have loosened up about it....a little,I smoke ciggerrettes is the only addictive drug thing I do.But still think its stupid and need to quit and save money n stuff,should get a less stressful job first though:S

I am not a scorp; but I know all to well self-destruction; I used to be a cutter; the feeling of pain, and pushing the template of existence to it's edge facinated, and amused me; I had this side to myself, but I knew that well, it's just time to put it a way; no one could, or would help, because they thought to avoid, or doll it up, so as not to realize a problem existed; then at that moment, I just changed; realized it's inneffectiveness and just droped the blade one day to never pick it up; I was 'pretending' to be weak, and escaping....not an aspect of me if I say so personally.

but becuase of it, I grew even more; I have alcohol, and drugs all around me, but I resist, because deep down inside, I acknowledge my own importance.

well i'm not a scorp. i am aries so i guess we have something in common.

self destruction was a bad problem of mine for a very long time. i mostly just engaged in very risky behavior. look inside yourself and ask why you want to destroy. is it just yourself you want to destroy, or things in general?

instead of hurting yourself, maybe breaking things will help. yeah, that sounds weird but it helps me. also, pushing your feelings deep, deep down inside of yourself tends to be a very bad thing.

you ever hear of "cutters"? people who mutilate themselves? that's why they do it. there are so many emotions, trapped deep down. they do this for so long, that eventually they can't really 'feel' the way they should. they are aware of something terrible brewing deep inside but can't release it, so it festers inside of them. destroying themselves is an outlet for all the pain.

if you are in pain, ask yourself why. and also get some professional help, cuz drugs and crazy behavior WILL eventually kill you.. believe me I have lost people i loved because of this.

good luck.

oops! sorry VIRGOEXALTED!!! i didn't read the whole thread!
i am soooo glad you don't do that anymore!

you should be proud

jennaT, my old, old ex girlfriend (who was an aries) first got me into coke/meth.

Yeah, the form of self-destruction definitely varies by the person, but it's still there. Personally, I've always been a straight-arrow and never touched drugs or anything. My cycles of mini-deaths and rebirths had always been related to relationships. Each time I came out better, but there were definitely dark moments with no light in sight. Fortunately I won't ever be going down that cycle again, but I sympathize with those that haven't. It would seem it's a necessary fate...

i'm often not sure whether my destructive behaviour has to do with killing myself off or with wanting constant change, to which "killing myself off" in theory is related. i am a photography major who in the past year finished her thesis, got an A, all while being an "amateur" alcoholic [amateur meaning, every night, not all day long]. i told myself that school was so stressfull and this was my only way to relieve it. plus, my bf is a picses so together we pretty much don't leave each other any choice but drink more.

my point is this:
more than being in a relationship, more than anything in the world, i feel the best when i make something. it could be a new photograph, a painting, a film or even when i sew or knit. just the act of making something makes something so right. and i find that when i consistently drink myself to sleep, i get frustrated and stop, take a few days off, not see people and make make make new things. and then "reward" myself by "socializing" and you know, pretty much wasting time doign nothing for a few days until the cycle repeats itself. i don't understand why.

i realize that this is an unhealthy behaviour. i just need to understand why i don't know moderation and why it's either one or the other. thank you all for your replies.

jennaT, I am proud, I was never really addicted to it, but the pain was actually pleasuring to me becuase I felt my world around me was crumbling, and I would have (at the time) given anything to just 'freeze the moment'....I got caught in school by a teacher... he couldn't beleive it...he gave me this look like... "oh, my god,...why?" I gave him a look "it is just my way of relating to your everyday existence...to feel as you feel, to know that I exist, and feel..." he started to cry...I didn't know what to do, so I laughed, and picked myself up, and threw the blade away, and the alcohol (IF YOU MUST CUT, CLEAN BLADES ARE A MUST!! 😉. He called my to the health room to speak privately with me, and gave me the act-21, and I said, 'I like it; it's so I know that I'm just like you...' he began to cry, so then I just blurt out; "oh c'mon! You're a man! A little blood, and you go queasy on me!!" I was embarrassed, and frightened...he said he's sorry, and sad becuase he had kids, and was scared for them....I said 'love them and treat them right and you MIGHT be lucky enough not to find any straight blades under THEIR pillows....'

I don't know what this means, but I feel that it could be a factor of self-mutilation, and limit testing, and destruction for me; my mars is in aries, and my pluto in scorpio; I think this means that there will be ALOT of internal conflict, and complex feelings, and internal powerstruggles, anyone got any ideas on mars in aries, and pluto in scorp?

actually, I don't think you can say so much with just two eyes....but maybe! He got it! aw, well lol I'm a freak! 😉

I am sorta self destructive with money though. I'm a spendthrift if there ever was one. I hope I get better with money in the future. I also hope to strike it filthy rich so I could continue to be a spendthrift. 😛

Anybody off life support yet? Sheesh...this is as fun as a grave-robbery/prostitution ring, or necrophiliac prosititutes lol!!
*motions hands to mouth*
Hell~o!! Hell~o!! OUT THERE IN SPACE!! AW, HELL, THEY CAN'T HEAR ME ON PLUTO!! I'LL TRY MARS SCORPI~O!! OH SCORPI~O!! LOL 😉

HELL YEA TDAA!!

oh god, I cannot let myself have a serious relationship, after a couple months, not matter how good, I have to break it off, or make him think he broke it off

SI and some ED, which sucks. Mostly from lack of being able to express myself

and procrastinating my studying, thats definitely self-sabotage if I do say so myself
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Its humiliating, but you have to realize, I have to realize, that other people go through so much more pain than me, and they still come out okay.
I just have to set myself straight.

That's fine nat; just understand you aren't alone; I had trouble expressing myself at a time because I didn't trust anyone; (still don't!! 😉) but I've learned that no matter how painful a situation could be concerning something so secret, and inaccesible even to yourself, you must brave the darkness, and get through to someone; don't go through it alone; I don't want to hear you say that you're alone; I want to help ya anyway I can; I know the feeling that you felt; the lonliness, and that mind numbing self-sabotaging; also, don't MINIMIZE YOUR OWN PAIN!; you feel what you feel; it is real to you, and it is intense becuase you OWN INDIVDUAL PERSON feels this, and it is YOUR 'SECRET SORROW'....Understand, It dosen't have to be a secret...NOBODY deserves to go through it alone.....because if you do, you may end up worse off, or losing your trust/faith in others....don't bastardize yourself like I did....well, actually either way is just as bad....reach out Nat, you won't go unhanded.