@femme
10 Years500+ Posts
What would you do...
How to Handle a Confidante Sharing Your Secrets
If someone you trust is sharing your private information, consider addressing the issue directly to set boundaries. Reflect on the relationship's value and decide whether to rebuild trust or distance yourself. Protect your privacy moving forward by being cautious about what you share.
Stop telling them anything and get away from them asap.
Posted by rabidtalker
Stop telling them anything and get away from them asap.
So that would be the end of the friendship? No second chances?
Posted by femme
if you recently found out that someone you consider(ed) a confidante, was telling all your business?Umm...thats a given, sweetie.
The sooner you get over that hump, the better for you.
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Lol... what's a given? Me confoosed
you give out false information of course
Posted by rabidtalker
Stop telling them anything and get away from them asap.So that would be the end of the friendship? No second chances?
Yes, no second chances. The dynamics of the relationship will change for sure.
For me, this falls in the line of ultimate betrayal.
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Ugh, that's sad as I really value the friendship. Would it matter if they were telling your business years ago, but you're just now finding out?
Posted by firebunny
you give out false information of course
LOL I didn't think I had to do that with a confidante :p
Posted by femme
if you recently found out that someone you consider(ed) a confidante, was telling all your business?
Cut them out of my private business. I'd be social, but never again would I trust them with anything. They just went from the inner circle to the outer circle.
- scorpio venus & rising
Posted by firebunny
you give out false information of course
Yeah and make them look stupid for spreading incorrect gossip.
Posted by firebunny
you give out false information of courseLOL I didn't think I had to do that with a confidante :p
But the person is no longer your confidante!
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Yes, true... ugh.
This is Rambunctious right? Heyyyy boo!
Stop telling them confidential stuff.
Just withdraw silently.
I'm curious, why are you asking, are you really torn about what to do? It sounds like this person betrayed your trust, they have shown you that they are not your friend and are not looking out for you. Or are you the person, who broke the trust and spread the info??
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭
Seriously, no confrontations?
Where the frick are the fire signs?
😕
Posted by firebunny
you give out false information of courseLOL I didn't think I had to do that with a confidante :p
But the person is no longer your confidante!
Yes, true... ugh.
This is Rambunctious right? Heyyyy boo!
Hello! 😈
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Glad you're back 😄
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭
Ask her.
Posted by TaurusinTexas
I'm curious, why are you asking, are you really torn about what to do? It sounds like this person betrayed your trust, they have shown you that they are not your friend and are not looking out for you. Or are you the person, who broke the trust and spread the info??
I AM torn... She's an awesome person, very caring and generous. I don't know if I should cut the friendship off, being that her only flaw in my eyes, is that she can't hold her tongue.
I would never betray a friend. I'm a Scorpio after all 😛
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭Ask her.
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Heyyyy Monty. Ask her what? Why she felt the need to be telling everybody the business?
Posted by TaurusinTexas
I'm curious, why are you asking, are you really torn about what to do? It sounds like this person betrayed your trust, they have shown you that they are not your friend and are not looking out for you. Or are you the person, who broke the trust and spread the info??I AM torn... She's an awesome person, very caring and generous. I don't know if I should cut the friendship off, being that her only flaw in my eyes, is that she can't hold her tongue.
I would never betray a friend. I'm a Scorpio after all 😛
Then maybe you should let her know that you're aware of what she's doing, and slowly place her at the back of the queue for your trust.
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I'm going to have to, girl.
Point blank, I'm confronting them. 9 times out of 10, they'll try to deny it, then I'll cuss they ass out.
They're getting cut off after that. I hate a loose lip bitch.
umm
act like I haven't found out and "empower" the person with 1-2 fake secrets that can be proven false .. of course, give the impression those secrets had to be drawn out of me .. then patiently wait for confidante to make a fool out of him/herself
😈
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭Ask her.
Heyyyy Monty. Ask her what? Why she felt the need to be telling everybody the business?
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Yup.
🙂
Posted by ElleDuMonde
I love not having any secrets to tell.secrets are little soul crushers that eat you.
O that little saying
You're only as sick as your secrets.
Posted by femme
if you recently found out that someone you consider(ed) a confidante, was telling all your business?
Immediately stop telling the person my business. I wouldn't say a word to them, as I don't see what there is to discuss, just keep my stuff private from that point forward.
I would also deal with my feelings regarding the matter in private.
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭
Doesn't matter, once they show they can't be trusted then what's left to value in them? I've had a trusted confidant (from 6th grade!.....over 30 yrs of history) prove she wasn't trust worthy by having an affair for yrs with my husband (now ex), and she was his little rat telling him everything I was saying and doing. Once a betrayer ALWAYS a betrayer, IMO. No forgiveness, no second chances, and ZERO place in my life.
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭Doesn't matter, once they show they can't be trusted then what's left to value in them? I've had a trusted confidant (from 6th grade!.....over 30 yrs of history) prove she wasn't trust worthy by having an affair for yrs with my husband (now ex), and she was his little rat telling him everything I was saying and doing. Once a betrayer ALWAYS a betrayer, IMO. No forgiveness, no second chances, and ZERO place in my life.
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That's low. Bottom of the ocean scum low. If I was your friend, I'd have that bitch beat up.
Wow. 30 years.
Posted by femme
I was hoping someone would say... give them a second chance, I've known her/confided in her for years 😭Doesn't matter, once they show they can't be trusted then what's left to value in them? I've had a trusted confidant (from 6th grade!.....over 30 yrs of history) prove she wasn't trust worthy by having an affair for yrs with my husband (now ex), and she was his little rat telling him everything I was saying and doing. Once a betrayer ALWAYS a betrayer, IMO. No forgiveness, no second chances, and ZERO place in my life.
That's low. Bottom of the ocean scum low. If I was your friend, I'd have that bitch beat up.
Wow. 30 years.
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A beating is too easy. I honestly hope she eventually gets divorced (yes, she's married), then marries my ex and he abuses her the way he abused me, and I hope she never has the backbone to leave him. I want her soul crushed.
Posted by Ellycakes
That's assuming I was the one to discover their betrayal. If it was a so and so told so and so who told me, I would feel suspicious and confront them but not make a decision until after the talk....
Yeah...*in Wailers singing voice*
"Only your friend know your secrets
So only he could reveal it.
And who the cap fit, let them weeeear it..."
When you hear personal information, that came from your lips being repeated to you, you're well pass suspicion. The only time I could see this being a matter of suspicion is if you share personal stuff with a whole gang of people and you don't know who the culprit is. In that case, my question would be why the hell are you mad since you're putting your stuff in everyone's ear anyway?
One of the reasons no two people know the exact same thing about me. What little I do share...
I'd slap that mofo in the mouth then buy him a beer. I hate losing friends
Posted by femme
if you recently found out that someone you consider(ed) a confidante, was telling all your business?
My reaction depends on 1000 considerations.
are they stupid? malefic? 2faced? chatty? more loyal to the others involved than to me? unconventional?
didn' they know that it was too private for me?
are they otherwise very good people? how deep is the roots of our connection?
but besides that: I usually assume that it is not possible to have private matters 100% private. I can only control my part.
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if you recently found out that someone you consider(ed) a confidante, was telling all your business?