Why does he do this? What can I do?

I am a virgo female who wants a scorpio male. When we first started talking the conversation was very interactive. We had a discussion about sex and I made it very clear that I didnt see myself rushing into a relationship, let alone a sexual relationship. He said that sex was not the most important thing however, he didnt see himself having a woman because he didnt know how long he would be residing in the state in which we live. I respect that. I have noticed a change in recent behavoir. I feel he is trying to pull from me. I am not trying to do anything to hurt him or make him feel uneasy. Some examples:

1.I have asked him some personal questions and he has answered all. Some of the questions...he acts as though it pains him to answer and they are not even the major conflict questions.

2.After a night of touching, kissing, cuddling, talking and all of that good stuff... I looked him in the eyes and he suddenly had a headache. He went to the other side of the bed to lay down. I went to lay next to him and we talked again. He sat up at the edge of the bed. I sat in back of him and pulled him towards me and he laid on my chest. I started rubbing him and he jumps up and moves to the other side of the bed and tells me he is not feeling well.

We haven't been talking as much as we used to. He hasnt been calling as much as he used to and I dont want to make myself too available by calling too often. He recently told me that "everything is good...I am just busy."

I want him to feel comfortable with me or as comfortable as he was before. I am confused about what is going on. What can I do?

How long have you known him and under what circumstances did you meet him?

I think he doesn't want to get emotional or get attached to you. He already said "he didnt see himself having a woman because he didnt know how long he would be residing in the state in which we live." Its very hard and sometimes impossible to make a man want more than what he's ready to offer. He senses that you want more and this is what makes him uncomfortable (for example him moving away from you and saying he's not feeling well). He senses your feelings towards him in your eyes & body language, these guys are very intuitive. When you look into his eyes after cuddling, this is a signal of intimacy and he doesn't want to get emotionally intimate so he fakes a headache. So unless 100% sure he's the "one" for you, and you believe you're the one for him (and he feels the same) don't get emotionally attached to him. He won't want to hurt you but if you wait around hoping he'll want a relationship, you will get hurt. He's pulling away so that you don't get too close to him because the last thing he'd want to do is hurt you or anyone else. He already told you he doesn't want more and he probably likes your company and all but be careful, its easy to fall for a Scorpio because they are sweet, affectionate and loveable. He is a sexual person, Scorpios are either obsessed with it or celibate. No shades of gray with them. So of course he wants sex and he's secretly hoping you'll give it to him. Good thing you haven't, keep it that way or you'll end up as his friend with benefits.

Geminifox, I understand you're trying to help but that info is too general to be of any use. We have all read that before and googled Scorpio on websites and got the same information. It doesn't help and thats why we end up posting on here.

SouthernT, we have been dating for almost 3 months now. This is the first time, I have had this problem.

We scorps are very protective of our feelings on one hand and the other we just love because we love, which sometimes cause pain when we don't receive what we give. He is afraid that he might "like you too much." You said you weren't ready to rush into a relationship, he said he didn't want a woman right now. So he is protecting his feelings and yours... He cares, or he wouldn't be so concerned. You should make up your mind and be honest with yourself. It sounds like you want more with this guy. You need to tell him. Be prepared if he says he can't, as he has already stated he won't be in the same state for long.

LOL!! It is ironic of all the Scorp/Virgo connections. What a connection... My first love was a Virgo. We remained friends for many years after we broke up. Then he passed away. I still think of him on his b-day. Sigh....

It's your last love that counts more than the first, Queenscorpio.

"Virgos you THINK TOO MUCH. Stop thinking and just do... You're dealing with a water sign...you can't analyse just FEEL !!!"

Lol....tellling a Virgo to "stop thinking/analyzing" is like telling a Scorpio to COMMUNICATE or to stop being so extreme. Or like telling a Cancer to stop being sensitive...or like telling a Gemini to pick ONE personality and stick to it.....and so on... 🙂
Virgo's ability to think and analyze is both a gift and a curse. We are able to see things from MANY different aspects. The downside to this: We wear ourselves out in the process, BUT we still achieve our desired result.

I had a scorpio pursuing me, but when I told him I don't want to be more than friends, he hung up in my face

MsAristocracy and MsVirgoSunshine.....With three Virgo minds, we WILL figure this out! Our minds are powerful as individuals, so the three of us combined has got to be dynamite!! .....but then again....given Virgo's indecisiveness, we may do eachother more harm than good...LOL

***It's your last love that counts more than the first, Queenscorpio***

Very profound Scorpius. This I Know.

"Yeah they are crazy like that, better watch your back too...LOL!!"

I think you have anti-Scorpio bias. You make us all sound like Jack the Ripper types.

Many are though...

brrrr.

***I think you have anti-Scorpio bias. You make us all sound like Jack the Ripper types.

Many are though...***

Many aren't.

Queenscorpio. I understand... I guess I have had hopeful thinking. I am not afraid to pursue things and see where it leads me but, I am willing to reframe from getting too involved. I just know that when we spend time together and talk everything is great. I will consider telling him how I feel. I am just a little worried...

SouthernT, you betcha 🙂 on both counts lol.

And its scary how we think alike. My Scorpio gf was telling me to stop analyzing him this afternoon and I told her I will never stop analyzing, I'm Virgo that's like asking a Scorpio to not be mysterious. But, I like what you said about the communicationg thing. On point for sure. *high-five*

I try not to analyze too much but, it always happens... I have been told on several occasions not to think so much.

Lol... Southern T.

Attention - Virgo Women who want a Scorpio Man

I'm a Virgo Man happily married to a Scorpio Woman, so please listen up:

1. STOP fretting so much. They hate that sh1t, and it does you no good, either!!
2. DON'T make the relationship more complicated than it ALREADY is.
3. DON'T talk too damn much. Both of you suck at verbal communication (of IMPORTANT STUFF), so the less said, the better. Trust me, us Virgs get on their last frickin' nerve with the 20 Question Survey So I Can Figure You Out routine. AND, don't ask 'em what's on their bloody mind all the time - they'll tell you when they want you to know.

Yes, we Virgs think too much, and it's been very hard for me to not do that with my Scorp, but I have learned to let go of reason, and just FEEL, and that is so much better or both of us...

Yes, I still alphabetize, sort, arrange, and schedule lots of stuff -- I just try not to do all that Virgo Stuff with my Scorp's Mind...

~DyarStra?e

* that is so much better or both of us = that is so much better for both of us *

P.S.: I know! You worry about whether he cares for you or not, and they're so frickin' tight-lipped, and they're not one-tenth as open as we are, and we have crappy intuition when it comes to matters of the heart -- all this sucks, doesn't it??

No simple or easy answers from the trenches. Just be yourself, and watch what he does - don't obsess about what he says / doesn't say. Debra and I had really trivial conversations to start with, and yet I KNEW in a few weeks that she dug me by the way she looked at me, touched me, etc.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but TRY TO CHILL OUT, and enjoy yourself. Be that nice, honest, nerdy Virg -- odds are, he'll like you for it -- and LOOSEN UP a little!

Sermon Over!

MVS, what are you worried about exactly?

DS, I think that Virgo man/Scorp woman is a much better combo (easier to understand eachother) than vise versa.

"I'm a Virgo Man happily married to a Scorpio Woman, so please listen up:

1. STOP fretting so much. They hate that sh1t, and it does you no good, either!!
2. DON'T make the relationship more complicated than it ALREADY is.
3. DON'T talk too damn much. Both of you suck at verbal communication (of IMPORTANT STUFF), so the less said, the better. Trust me, us Virgs get on their last frickin' nerve with the 20 Question Survey So I Can Figure You Out routine. AND, don't ask 'em what's on their bloody mind all the time - they'll tell you when they want you to know.

Yes, we Virgs think too much, and it's been very hard for me to not do that with my Scorp, but I have learned to let go of reason, and just FEEL, and that is so much better or both of us...

Yes, I still alphabetize, sort, arrange, and schedule lots of stuff -- I just try not to do all that Virgo Stuff with my Scorp's Mind...

~DyarStra?e"

LMAO.....you know I've been waiting for you to show up on one of these VIRGO/SCORPIO threads. You just made me feel ALOT better. I needed somebody to give me the steps and put it in logical format for me to understand. Funny thing is....I Actually Understand now.....LOL!!!!!!! That's why I LOVE Virgo's....we are straight and to the point. LOVE IT!!......you made my headache go away just that quick. 🙂

Lol DyarStrabe. I am glad that things are going great for you. I definitely see helpful guidelines.

Matthew is not a big talker so, I often carry the conversations. It is seldom that he will bring up something that he feel he has to talk about however, he asks a lot of questions. If he feels that the first answer was not good enough, he will continue with a follow up question. The physical is good however, we are not having sex. If he is going somewhere he feels the need to let me know where he is at, what he is doing and who he is with, even if it the following next week. I have never asked... If he is calling and I tell him I am heading out. He just simply asks "where?"

*Queenscorpio, I am worried that if I approach him about this than it will make him even less comfortable and want to distance himself more. Also, I dont want to say the wrong thing or make things more complicated. I am a pretty patient person and I often sit in await to see what will happen.

"I am a pretty patient person and I often sit in await to see what will happen."

Great! Be a Patient Virgo, and let things unfold naturally (that is, the way the Scorp wants them to!).

As for the: "After a night of touching, kissing, cuddling, talking and all of that good stuff... I looked him in the eyes and he suddenly had a headache." Sounds to me like he's trying to honor your desire to not rush into sex.

"He recently told me that "everything is good...I am just busy." Hm. When a Virgo says it, he really is too busy; I'm not sure with Scorps. Mine can get focused on something, but she still multitasks better than I do.

Okay. Mister Practical Virgo here. If he's looking to move to another state, where's the future in this relationship? Will he hang around long enough to see if y'all are gonna make it? If there is Love, will you move with him?

Before I started dating Debra, I had started building my country house. I had to get it straight with her fairly early on that she was cool with the commute into the city (her youngest son was a high school senior). We had to juggle some things, but that's what two people who love each other do.

I know y'all have only been in this for a few months. Try to sit back, sift through the facts, and analyze the situation - but don't fret about it! Bounce your ideas and concerns on us DXP folks. (If I'd fretted with my Scorp the way I fretted on here, I doubt she would have put up with me for long!)

Ask yourself: Where do I see this thing going in the next six months?

That's true, Roxi. But, you Scorps upset us, too - y'all are hard to figure out. We don't look at things the same way, and we sure as sh1t don't express things the same way! It can be painful in the beginning. We feel clumsy and inept around y'all, and we don't like feeling that way. We're open and trusting, and we don't want to get hurt.

I understand where these gals are coming from. Looking back, it's wonder Deb & I made it. EXCEPT: We got to know a lot more about each other before we risked dating...

.... working in the same building, and having intersecting circles of friends & coworkers made a big difference for us.

***Queenscorpio, I am worried that if I approach him about this than it will make him even less comfortable and want to distance himself more. Also, I dont want to say the wrong thing or make things more complicated. I am a pretty patient person and I often sit in await to see what will happen.***

IMO, if you want to know something from a scorp the best thing to do is ask you will get a direct answer. Oh, but wait, we are talking about a male scorp. LOL!! They tend to answer a question with a question. Me being a scorp answers that question with the same question. Just ask.

QS, Virgo wants to ask, but in the beginning (when we're unsure of our status with you) that is way harder than it sounds.

After going on two years together, I can bug the crap outta my Scorp (until she gets out the frying pan!) playing 20 Questions, but I wasn't that way at first...

***LMAO...uuuuuuuh....yeeeeeeah. Direct is the word for fire signs.***

Uhhh, I have tons of fire and air in my chart, that probably explains my bluntness. However, I do know other scorps who are direct as well, a man in particular, who yes, asks a million questions, but I shoot some right back at him and he gives me direct answers.

Now Libra men, kings of reading between the lines, until you corner them and be direct then you just might get a direct answer.

My Scorp is no-nonsense, too -- when she wants to communicate something. BUT, trying to get a direct response about something she doesn't want to reveal... well, that's one tough row to hoe!

It is weird, a stranger can expect a direct answer from at any time... However, if a scorp doesn't want you to know something, or something is private to us, then we won't lie to you, but we won't tell either.

I am the keeper of so many secrets of my friends. We are the best secret keepers. Even our own. LOL!!!

"I am the keeper of so many secrets of my friends. We are the best secret keepers. Even our own."

True statement. Virgs are equally trustworthy with juicy gossip, but we are Much More Open with our Loved Ones than you Scorps. So there!

***but we are Much More Open with our Loved Ones than you Scorps. So there✨**

This is probably true.

Now Roxi, you know better than that!

MONTHS? Sure. YEARS? Maybe. DECADES? Never!

Hell, I was in love with Taurus Chick almost at first sight. Ditto for Scorp. Libra took longer, but lasted a long damn time - but even then, only a matter of months to know I it was love...

DyarStra?e: "QS, Virgo wants to ask, but in the beginning (when we're unsure of our status with you) that is way harder than it sounds.

After going on two years together, I can bug the crap outta my Scorp (until she gets out the frying pan!) playing 20 Questions, but I wasn't that way at first..."

Man, he is speaking like a true veteran. I don't know if it has to do with my thoughts of Scorpios getting easily annoyed with Virgos "ways" or not but I do dance around my thoughts for a long time because I cant guess how he will respond or if it will count against me which with something so sensitive that you desire the last thing you want is to make it worse.

Its like trying to get someone to like you who you know likes you but yet you cant get yourself to accept it because they are so mysterious. It's like in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and the rest knocked on the door of the emerald city and the guy opened the door answered the question and shut it back, then when he realized who they were he was all friendly to them, they were happy until they got to the wizard and then their confidence level dropped again, (like us Virgos) they did everything they thought necessary to get to the goal but it just kept seeming like it wasn't working. In the end you realize you had everything you needed all the time (like they did) but it just doesn't feel like it while you're going through the motions.

MA: "Man, he is speaking like a true veteran." Yep - got the scars to prove it.

I like your Wizard Of Oz imagery, not only because I like the movie, but because it's pretty accurate. Here's a suggestion: Have faith in your Scorp to see (and love) the real you, and try not to sweat the details. They don't. If a Scorp loves you, it's very plain & simple in their eyes. Save the details for after marriage, when both of you are much more comfortable with each other. (Not that I did that, but I wish I had.)

I really got on my Scorp's nerves - similar to the way I bug our own Roxi some times...

...unfortunately, Roxi can't do what Debra does (no, not THAT!): Take me by the chin, look me straight in the eyes, and say, "You worry (or think - same thing to a Scorp) too much. STOP IT."

And I do - for a while...

DyarStraBe I really enjoy hearing you talk about you and your wife. It give an inside view at a miracle. That's a lot of hope given. 🙂

DyarStra?e: "Take me by the chin, look me straight in the eyes, and say, "You worry (or think - same thing to a Scorp) too much. STOP IT."

When I broke it off with my Scorp when I was about to lose my mind and all my hair he came back with the "try not to worry so much in the future" thing. YEAH!!!! Easy for you to say, you're the one causing worry lol.

Here's one I just posted on the Virgo Board...

Another Example: I made the mistake of complaining about how Debra doesn't put my socks away correctly (newly clean behind the others) when she does the laundry. Well, she didn't fuss, or cuss, just did her "Oh, WHATEVER!" But, now, she leaves my folded socks at the foot of the bed, for me to put up my own damn self...

Is she a genius, or what?!

(I, uh, got the message. Loud & clear, and without a word of argument.)

Ah, Roxi! You know I love you to death - you remind me soooooo much of my Debra - the Ideal Woman....

Roxi: "and worrying IS a form of thinking isnt it?? but it's the fruitless, pointless kind of thinking if you ask me!!"

Yes, it is pointless - but so is getting all moody & broody over sh1t...

Yeah, but that little detail was just too much for my Scorp - as long as all the socks in the drawer are clean, what's the difference? She doesn't get the Virgo System...

::I can almost hear Roxi groaning from across the Atlantic::

Y'all have no idea what this woman puts up with -- she's tough as nails.

But returning to the thread: The KEY to Scorpio + Virgo is for the latter to not let their native tendencies get in the way of what really can be an almost symbiotic relationship.

QS thought that Virgo Male + Scorpio Female is easier, and that may very well be; but, I also think AGE is a factor - older Virgs are generally calmer, and not so neurotic.

My faux scorp once told me secrets about my best friend. Considering that's not what he usually does, he must really love me.

Weeeeee lol.

I used to be unhappy about his keeping mum but he's now trying so hard to talk it becomes exhibitionistic. He announces his feelings publicly.

TB: "Hmmmm...must be my virgo rising."

Bless your heart! Maybe they'll find a cure for it!

I know a virgo female and scorpio male, newly married and together previously for nine years. They seem to be well together. At least, that I know of. It helps that she's a hot sexy thing.

The sock thing is a perfect example of how Virgo's and Scorpios think. I have my own little stories about it.

Whenever I am becoming intimate with my Scorp I look for some place to put my gum (no clue where he puts his) but he told me initially to just throw it somewhere (we were in his room) of course I didn't

On the first day we met I couldn't keep away from him, he would be sitting on one couch me on the other and I would go over and kneel between his legs and kissing him. I accidentally knocked over his beer and it suds all over the place. He has white carpet and I didnt want to ruin it so I held the bottle over his clothes and he got soak and wet. If I didn't have to drive 1.5hrs home I would have soaked my clothes (maybe) but I couldn't risk getting pulled over smelling like beer. He allowed this to go on for a few seconds (man beer can suds) before asking me "man, what you doing—" and so I explained the logic that it would be better to get on his clothes than the carpet because he can easily wash his clothes and go change. Well eventually he went upstairs to change clothes all the while leaving me hanging with my question as to what can I soak up the beer with. About 5mins later he comes down and I am still soaking up the carpet with paper towels and finally all dressed in new and dry clothes I say "I guess the carpet wasn't more important" and I turn back to cleaning up and he just says "huh?" and I ask him for a towel to get the rest of it up and he gets me a towel.

How in the world can he not care about the carpet—

He is very interesting that way. 🙂