BeaCancer91
@BeaCancer91
11 YearsCancer
Comments: 3 · Posts: 223 · Topics: 34
Dear Taurus, I don't trust you.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
@Impulsv Hes LOVES porn, and looking at women (Which I don't understand, why he just didn't go through the pile of women via internet, anyway. Ask me for what? Use your sources mister..) and I have no idea who gave him the idea I'd just up and send one.. especially after previous incident.. He was sadly mistaken.
@RainDancer I did it before, just to be sexy, thinking I could trust he would keep it to himself, didn't happen that way.
Only on my call, and my call alone. He must be a little delirious? lol
@RainDancer I did it before, just to be sexy, thinking I could trust he would keep it to himself, didn't happen that way.
Only on my call, and my call alone. He must be a little delirious? lol
I've read your posts and followed your story. It all sounds really young to me. Just bullshit followed by further bullshit from both of you which gets you nowhere.
I think you'd do well reading those websites about dating and relationships in general. I'm sure I posted them up before and I'm sure you didn't bother to read them.
He tried his luck with the pic request. He's a young kid. It's what they do. You already know how you should have responded but you reacted differently which has now landed you in another shit storm and emotional mess. Congratulations.
In addition, you felt the need to justify yourself in a long text about not sending him a personal pic when a simple no would have been suffice.
None of this is about trust or astrology. This is about two people not communicating with each other. I'm sure you like this guy but what exactly is it you think you like about him? I can't see what you're getting out of this aside from more frustrated and a load of waffle.
I think you'd do well reading those websites about dating and relationships in general. I'm sure I posted them up before and I'm sure you didn't bother to read them.
He tried his luck with the pic request. He's a young kid. It's what they do. You already know how you should have responded but you reacted differently which has now landed you in another shit storm and emotional mess. Congratulations.
In addition, you felt the need to justify yourself in a long text about not sending him a personal pic when a simple no would have been suffice.
None of this is about trust or astrology. This is about two people not communicating with each other. I'm sure you like this guy but what exactly is it you think you like about him? I can't see what you're getting out of this aside from more frustrated and a load of waffle.
Posted by AgentP911
I've read your posts and followed your story. It all sounds really young to me. Just bullshit followed by further bullshit from both of you which gets you nowhere.
I agree this -situation- is very immature. A lot of our issues stem from miscommunication, and the fact that when trying to communication. I'm usually trying to get to an understanding, while he either "shuts down." or "avoids" the issue completely.
Which sends me on an emotional roller coaster (I wont sugar coat, like I'm all peaches and cream)
Posted by AgentP911
I think you'd do well reading those websites about dating and relationships in general. I'm sure I posted them up before and I'm sure you didn't bother to read them.
I must have missed them. I didn't see them.
Posted by AgentP911
He tried his luck with the pic request. He's a young kid. It's what they do. You already know how you should have responded but you reacted differently which has now landed you in another shit storm and emotional mess. Congratulations.
In addition, you felt the need to justify yourself in a long text about not sending him a personal pic when a simple no would have been suffice.
ALL true.
Posted by AgentP911
None of this is about trust or astrology. This is about two people not communicating with each other. I'm sure you like this guy but what exactly is it you think you like about him? I can't see what you're getting out of this aside from more frustrated and a load of waffle.click to expand
You are totally right. I am getting nothing beneficial out of this. I guess I am still around because I care about him, and because of how I feel. So I'm sticking around purely off emotion. I like him mostly because though with all of this bullshit, I do have an insane connection with him. I've never had connection with anyone such as this. We clicked instantly.
especially when we are face to face. I just see that the person that he is, that he doesn't see. He is truly a remarkable "Young Kid." as you call him. Drawn to his potential, and him personally.
When a Taurus asked me, he did not come out and say "sexy pic," he asked, "would you pose for me?"
I said yes, and of course, I did not send him any slutty photo. Simply me in a sweater, smiling. I KNOW that's what he wanted.
Of course after I sent him a pic, he said it was really nice... but then asked if I could show him some more skin. I said, 'okay... sure. But it's JUST for you!'
I sent the bastard a pic with me in a tank top. No cleavage, just 'naked arms.' Nothing more.
And to me, THAT is as far as I will go.
Point is, you've got to set the boundaries. You let it go too far, you should have politely told him that you do not want to send him another after the last incident. I'm sure he would have been more understanding...
I said yes, and of course, I did not send him any slutty photo. Simply me in a sweater, smiling. I KNOW that's what he wanted.
Of course after I sent him a pic, he said it was really nice... but then asked if I could show him some more skin. I said, 'okay... sure. But it's JUST for you!'
I sent the bastard a pic with me in a tank top. No cleavage, just 'naked arms.' Nothing more.
And to me, THAT is as far as I will go.
Point is, you've got to set the boundaries. You let it go too far, you should have politely told him that you do not want to send him another after the last incident. I'm sure he would have been more understanding...
@RainDancer88
I thought I could trust him, based off of other circumstances between us. 😢
@Impulsv
I'm SO unclear about what he wants. I actually tested to see if it's just a sex thing. It's not even that. He turned me down on that. I don't understand his POINT with me at all. He keeps hanging out on, won't leave, and its obvious that he doesn't want me to go though I probably should. 😢
I thought I could trust him, based off of other circumstances between us. 😢
@Impulsv
I'm SO unclear about what he wants. I actually tested to see if it's just a sex thing. It's not even that. He turned me down on that. I don't understand his POINT with me at all. He keeps hanging out on, won't leave, and its obvious that he doesn't want me to go though I probably should. 😢
Posted by heartlocket
When a Taurus asked me, he did not come out and say "sexy pic," he asked, "would you pose for me?"
I said yes, and of course, I did not send him any slutty photo. Simply me in a sweater, smiling. I KNOW that's what he wanted.
Of course after I sent him a pic, he said it was really nice... but then asked if I could show him some more skin. I said, 'okay... sure. But it's JUST for you!'
I sent the bastard a pic with me in a tank top. No cleavage, just 'naked arms.' Nothing more.
And to me, THAT is as far as I will go.
Point is, you've got to set the boundaries. You let it go too far, you should have politely told him that you do not want to send him another after the last incident. I'm sure he would have been more understanding...
Understood.
The picture he posted via internet was just a picture of my butt in these adorable boycutt underwear with lace treading.
@Impulsv
I do often feel like I'm being punished because I don't do what he wants, and thank you for your statements🙂
I do often feel like I'm being punished because I don't do what he wants, and thank you for your statements🙂
Hm. Perhaps he has commitment issues, I know a lot of Taurus are very slow and hesitant with commitment. Maybe you should hint around asking what he really wants, and let him know what you really want.
The drawn to his potential sentence...
This is actually not good at all. While you think you're seeing his 'potential' or what 'could' be between you, you're actually missing the 'what is' bit as in what your relationship actually is right now.
It doesn't look like there is much right now.
I had an 'insane' connection with a Virgo once. It didn't end very well.
You may think you see something in him but until he sees it you're not going to get anywhere.
What is remarkable about this guy?
This is actually not good at all. While you think you're seeing his 'potential' or what 'could' be between you, you're actually missing the 'what is' bit as in what your relationship actually is right now.
It doesn't look like there is much right now.
I had an 'insane' connection with a Virgo once. It didn't end very well.
You may think you see something in him but until he sees it you're not going to get anywhere.
What is remarkable about this guy?
@heartlocket
Originally he's told me he wanted to be friends at this point. Though I do I like him, and care for him. I feel that being anything more than -just friends- would be terrible. I just want his friendship at the end of the day.
I really do enjoy his company. I've told him that. I also agreed to just "friendship." with him. Nothing further. Its as if he keeps trying to steer out of the -friend zone- that he requested. I just simply continue pushing him back in it.
I will ask him what his intentions are later on. I know I will not get a proper answer right now because he's emotionally all over the place currently. His Dad passed away not to long ago.
Originally he's told me he wanted to be friends at this point. Though I do I like him, and care for him. I feel that being anything more than -just friends- would be terrible. I just want his friendship at the end of the day.
I really do enjoy his company. I've told him that. I also agreed to just "friendship." with him. Nothing further. Its as if he keeps trying to steer out of the -friend zone- that he requested. I just simply continue pushing him back in it.
I will ask him what his intentions are later on. I know I will not get a proper answer right now because he's emotionally all over the place currently. His Dad passed away not to long ago.
He's testing water with you.
Be firm with your boundaries.
Be firm with your boundaries.
Posted by tiziani
There are no commitment issues, it's just he will commit to a woman who knows how to take care of herself.
At this point you're giving off all the signals that that isn't you. Your reasons for sticking around are threadbare. He won't value how much you care about him as much as he would respect how much you can care for yourself. I think you have it backwards with this emotional doormat stuff.
Yup! ^^^^^
This is basic dating/relationship knowledge.
It's also said by a man so pay close attention. I always like running stuff by my male friend to get a 'man view' on it. Always invaluable advice.
He is definitely trying out for a 'friends with benefits' situation. He doesn't seem to be aiming to being your boyfriend or courting you.
I would say be firm with what you want and how you want to be treated, and he will respect that.
I have been in this exact situation just a while ago, got my heart broken. The connection and attraction, it was off the charts. But you cannot let this blind you from the reality of it. Thankfully I had people there for me to tell me that I didn't deserve it, and I did not let him take advantage of me.
I would say be firm with what you want and how you want to be treated, and he will respect that.
I have been in this exact situation just a while ago, got my heart broken. The connection and attraction, it was off the charts. But you cannot let this blind you from the reality of it. Thankfully I had people there for me to tell me that I didn't deserve it, and I did not let him take advantage of me.
Posted by AgentP911
The drawn to his potential sentence...
This is actually not good at all. While you think you're seeing his 'potential' or what 'could' be between you, you're actually missing the 'what is' bit as in what your relationship actually is right now.
It doesn't look like there is much right now.
I had an 'insane' connection with a Virgo once. It didn't end very well.
You may think you see something in him but until he sees it you're not going to get anywhere.
What is remarkable about this guy?
Nah, we aren't much of anything at all, and honestly there is nothing particularly " remarkable. " but the *insane* connection still stands.
Posted by FVME
You're not obligated to send him anything. He broke your trust and publicly posting something like that is immediate grounds for dismissal in my book. If you're going to pursue this.. thing.. then yeah, make him do things to build up trust little by little. That is, if you even ever feel like sharing like something like that with him again.
Completely, and totally agree with you.
Posted by tiziani
There are no commitment issues, it's just he will commit to a woman who knows how to take care of herself.
At this point you're giving off all the signals that that isn't you. Your reasons for sticking around are threadbare. He won't value how much you care about him as much as he would respect how much you can care for yourself. I think you have it backwards with this emotional doormat stuff.
I dont want him to commit to me. I simply enjoy his company, as well as his friendship. We share a lot of smiles, and good times together. I love that.
But I understand you.
Posted by heartlocket
He is definitely trying out for a 'friends with benefits' situation. He doesn't seem to be aiming to being your boyfriend or courting you.
I would say be firm with what you want and how you want to be treated, and he will respect that.
I have been in this exact situation just a while ago, got my heart broken. The connection and attraction, it was off the charts. But you cannot let this blind you from the reality of it. Thankfully I had people there for me to tell me that I didn't deserve it, and I did not let him take advantage of me.
I have that same support from everyone who knows the story from beginning to end.
Thank you for your insight. I am definitely going to listen to this.
@koniucha
Lol 🙂 that's hilarious
Lol 🙂 that's hilarious
@koniucha
Lol 🙂 that's hilarious
Lol 🙂 that's hilarious
Posted by tiziani
There are no commitment issues, it's just he will commit to a woman who knows how to take care of herself.
At this point you're giving off all the signals that that isn't you. Your reasons for sticking around are threadbare. He won't value how much you care about him as much as he would respect how much you can care for yourself. I think you have it backwards with this emotional doormat stuff.
I don't understand how I am coming off that way honestly. I turn down his offers, and I sent that picture to him months, and months, and months ago before we ever agreed to friendship. We were romantically involved at the time, not particularly dating, but working towards that. Elaborate?? I respect myself very much so.
Posted by tiziani
Your reasoning for being there. You say you get no benefit from this other than how it makes you feel at times. And even then most of the time I get the impression it makes you feel pretty negatively and confused.
How is any man meant to trust his business to a woman who puts herself in that situation?
You actually say you're aware of how this all makes you feel, but you're still there anyway. You're knowingly part of something immature.
I'm speaking purely from an instinctive point of view. If I sense you're the kind to stick around in bad deals, I can't trust you to take care of yourself, period. So how am I going to trust you and open up to you on an honest level with what's really going on with me?
I know trust is on your mind as it was in your thread title. You're clearly not getting the trust you would like to see from him. I think the best advice you received in here was to firm up your boundaries.
It's great that you care about this person and you found something that means a lot to you, but all I'm saying is from a male POV that's not the key to trust. Respect is... once you have that between you, anything is possible. Friendship, partnership, weekend getaways, sky's the limit. It takes time.
click to expand
I see I am to casual about a lot of things then.. I view a lot of things as: "Life is to short to stay upset about what could be easily resolved." I just see a lot of what we so call "go" through as insignificant, but the Taurus man I am dealing with is very unreasonable. Seeing it as more than just "Small." obviously.
I understand "firming up" my boundaries. Honestly..I'm starting to get fed up with this.
Soo...
I did something stupid—? 🙂
On account of being fed up, I told him that as friends we are just that. The door is shut at this point. So leave it shut.
His response," Umm okay. "
My response, " where did you get lost at."
His response "I'm not lost."
So basically... He understood, but didn't agree or disagree with it.. Didn't say yes no even a No
Why is it when I want to resolve and solve I get myself in some more shit... -.- always..I know I got myself in some shit..I can feel it
I did something stupid—? 🙂
On account of being fed up, I told him that as friends we are just that. The door is shut at this point. So leave it shut.
His response," Umm okay. "
My response, " where did you get lost at."
His response "I'm not lost."
So basically... He understood, but didn't agree or disagree with it.. Didn't say yes no even a No
Why is it when I want to resolve and solve I get myself in some more shit... -.- always..I know I got myself in some shit..I can feel it
Errrrr because you don't listen. You ask for input, it's given, you read it, digest it, ignore it, and go and do whatever you want which results in creating more drama and bullshit.
I'm sure I said this before. Perhaps even yesterday.
If you're a Cancerian as your name suggests then that explains it to me.
In my opinion and experience, Cancerians are emotionally manipulative and thrive off drama. This is stated by me, a Scorpio!
Why did you send that text?
Was there any need?
No, there was no need for it at all.
That text was designed to achieve two things:
1) to rake up the same shit
2) to provoke a reaction
Sadly, you didn't get the reaction you wanted. You raked it up because you wanted a reaction to make you feel better. To make you feel more secure. You didn't get it. You will continue to indulge in this bullshit behaviour, prodding this guy and getting nowhere.
My first boyfriend (many years ago) was a Cancerian. He'd constantly pick fights about fuck all. Why? Because the making up bit made him feel secure. It was tiring and took me a while to twig what was happening (I was 17, he was 21). When I finally confronted him about it he said 'clever girl'. What an arsehole. He didn't last long as I booted his arse and make a mental note to stay away from Cancerians. I have family members and friends who are Cancerians and who do this kind of crap. Attention seeking twats in my opinion.
I'm sure I said this before. Perhaps even yesterday.
If you're a Cancerian as your name suggests then that explains it to me.
In my opinion and experience, Cancerians are emotionally manipulative and thrive off drama. This is stated by me, a Scorpio!
Why did you send that text?
Was there any need?
No, there was no need for it at all.
That text was designed to achieve two things:
1) to rake up the same shit
2) to provoke a reaction
Sadly, you didn't get the reaction you wanted. You raked it up because you wanted a reaction to make you feel better. To make you feel more secure. You didn't get it. You will continue to indulge in this bullshit behaviour, prodding this guy and getting nowhere.
My first boyfriend (many years ago) was a Cancerian. He'd constantly pick fights about fuck all. Why? Because the making up bit made him feel secure. It was tiring and took me a while to twig what was happening (I was 17, he was 21). When I finally confronted him about it he said 'clever girl'. What an arsehole. He didn't last long as I booted his arse and make a mental note to stay away from Cancerians. I have family members and friends who are Cancerians and who do this kind of crap. Attention seeking twats in my opinion.
My birthday is July, 1st, 1991
I think I am on a cusp..
Also, I am NOT looking for a reaction. Im trying to get closure. Honestly I just want to close the situation.
I don't mind the friends part of it, just the extra stuff is not needed.
I'm not the type to say something for a reaction, when I say something it has a point to it.
Maybe you are right..maybe it was not needed, but I hate to leave things open. Seriously.
Your first boyfriend...that guy is just a dick. Not all cancerian folks are like that.
I think I am on a cusp..
Also, I am NOT looking for a reaction. Im trying to get closure. Honestly I just want to close the situation.
I don't mind the friends part of it, just the extra stuff is not needed.
I'm not the type to say something for a reaction, when I say something it has a point to it.
Maybe you are right..maybe it was not needed, but I hate to leave things open. Seriously.
Your first boyfriend...that guy is just a dick. Not all cancerian folks are like that.
All the ones I know are. There's about eight of them.
You just think you need closure. What do you need it for?
You've already decided to be friends (without benefits) which means no dodgy pics etc. you've already stated that to him and he's acknowledged it.
What shit could you possibly have got into?
You just think you need closure. What do you need it for?
You've already decided to be friends (without benefits) which means no dodgy pics etc. you've already stated that to him and he's acknowledged it.
What shit could you possibly have got into?
And I hate drama.
Really? That's terrible. I'm sorry;/ I honestly don't do that.
And I guess it was the way he responded.. "Umm OK?"
I'm putting to much into it.
Well what exactly did you want or expect him to say?
I honestly didn't expect him to respond as hes been ignoring me anyway.
Posted by BeaCancer91
I honestly didn't expect him to respond as hes been ignoring me anyway.
Then why text him at all!
Posted by tiziani
I like Cancers. You're lying to yourself when you're saying you didn't expect a reaction. There's no other reason you'd text the guy "what part did you get lost at?"
He isn't lost at all. You're buying your own grave and he's just refusing to lie in it with you.
Yup, yup, yup, yup...
The guy isn't dead. Just leave him alone. Stop raking, it's embarrassing for womanhood!
Tizani, AgentP, Everybody...
No, I honestly asked that because I thought he truly didn't understand me, and when he said "I'm not lost." I got quiet. He clearly understands. I use to try to write a "script" a lot with him. I'd say something to him, and think to myself, "He is going to say this, to that."
After you keep doing that, and it NEVER comes out that way. You get tired.
I no longer do that. I'm not him. I can't read his mind. I never know what he could say, and half of what I tell him is either briefly acknowledged (AND I DO MEAN BRIEF) un-discussed or ignored. The only expectation I had was "He is definitely going to ignore this." and I was all wrong again.
My expectation was "He wont say anything."
I'm just trying to understand his "final" thought. He didn't really say much. He didn't say yes to it, didn't say no either. It was sort of point blank. So I'm feeling stupid, and like AgentP said, "Was that really needed?" No it was not darling 😢, but I feel like the door with us is WIDE open.
I'll let you in on a little something as well...WHENEVER I try to close it he sweetens up to me. Within the next day or hours later even... :/ and my naive heart lets him right back in ..Like anything has really changed, and lately he's current -approach- is no longer sweet, because I don't go for that anymore.
I am wanting to break the cycle.
Tiziani,
"You're buying your own grave, and he's refusing to lie you in it." Explain, I'm really bad at metaphors.
No, I honestly asked that because I thought he truly didn't understand me, and when he said "I'm not lost." I got quiet. He clearly understands. I use to try to write a "script" a lot with him. I'd say something to him, and think to myself, "He is going to say this, to that."
After you keep doing that, and it NEVER comes out that way. You get tired.
I no longer do that. I'm not him. I can't read his mind. I never know what he could say, and half of what I tell him is either briefly acknowledged (AND I DO MEAN BRIEF) un-discussed or ignored. The only expectation I had was "He is definitely going to ignore this." and I was all wrong again.
My expectation was "He wont say anything."
I'm just trying to understand his "final" thought. He didn't really say much. He didn't say yes to it, didn't say no either. It was sort of point blank. So I'm feeling stupid, and like AgentP said, "Was that really needed?" No it was not darling 😢, but I feel like the door with us is WIDE open.
I'll let you in on a little something as well...WHENEVER I try to close it he sweetens up to me. Within the next day or hours later even... :/ and my naive heart lets him right back in ..Like anything has really changed, and lately he's current -approach- is no longer sweet, because I don't go for that anymore.
I am wanting to break the cycle.
Tiziani,
"You're buying your own grave, and he's refusing to lie you in it." Explain, I'm really bad at metaphors.
Posted by tiziani
The one thing we said was make sure you respect yourself. You say you respect yourself perfectly.
THEN you yourself come back and say "so.... I did something stupid?"
That's completely on you
I can't post in this thread anymore. One day soon when you're bored of this all you'll probably save all the good advice you got in here from the women looking out for you, not me, and just let it go. Move on to something that's actually worth your energy.
Thank you. I appreciate you for putting up with my nonsense 🙂
'He isn't lost at all. You're buying your own grave and he's just refusing to lie in it with you.'
He isn't lost at all - you asked him where he got lost at - he told you 'I'm not lost.'
He's not lost because he knows exactly what is going on and is playing you like a harp and you're letting him. This fella understands perfectly well my dear. In my opinion it is you who is lost.
You're buying your own grave - like digging yourself in deeper because you keep raking over the same shit with needing answers and now you think you need to know his final thought. WTF is that shit about? Who cares??
He's refusing to lie in it with you - he knows what you're doing and he's not succumbing to your dramatic bullshit so he's not giving you the reaction you want. He was probably sitting there scratching his bollocks and rolling his eyes at your dumb arse while having a chuckle to himself at your expense!
Cancerians... Give me strength! Intuitive, my arse!
He isn't lost at all - you asked him where he got lost at - he told you 'I'm not lost.'
He's not lost because he knows exactly what is going on and is playing you like a harp and you're letting him. This fella understands perfectly well my dear. In my opinion it is you who is lost.
You're buying your own grave - like digging yourself in deeper because you keep raking over the same shit with needing answers and now you think you need to know his final thought. WTF is that shit about? Who cares??
He's refusing to lie in it with you - he knows what you're doing and he's not succumbing to your dramatic bullshit so he's not giving you the reaction you want. He was probably sitting there scratching his bollocks and rolling his eyes at your dumb arse while having a chuckle to himself at your expense!
Cancerians... Give me strength! Intuitive, my arse!
Posted by AgentP911
'He isn't lost at all. You're buying your own grave and he's just refusing to lie in it with you.'
He isn't lost at all - you asked him where he got lost at - he told you 'I'm not lost.'
He's not lost because he knows exactly what is going on and is playing you like a harp and you're letting him. This fella understands perfectly well my dear. In my opinion it is you who is lost.
You're buying your own grave - like digging yourself in deeper because you keep raking over the same shit with needing answers and now you think you need to know his final thought. WTF is that shit about? Who cares??
He's refusing to lie in it with you - he knows what you're doing and he's not succumbing to your dramatic bullshit so he's not giving you the reaction you want. He was probably sitting there scratching his bollocks and rolling his eyes at your dumb arse while having a chuckle to himself at your expense!
Cancerians... Give me strength! Intuitive, my arse!
Thank you for the yelling. I need it. Also that explanation opened my eyes.
Posted by RainDancer88
Tiziani,
"You're buying your own grave, and he's refusing to lie you in it." Explain, I'm really bad at metaphors.
translation... you're asking for trouble at your own cost and for a person who fails to tell you how stupid you are for doing so.
Gotcha
Posted by BeaCancer91
Is this like a slap in the face to you?
Late last night I sent my Taurus a heart. He immediately responds saying "I was just thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing." We engage in a light hearted conversation. He disappears for an hour, but later returns. He out of the blue says "Send me a sexy picture."
(Lets pause here.)
In the past I have sent him sexy pictures. Only for him to see mind you. He ended up posting one of those explicit photos PUBLICLY via internet. (My face was hidden) BUT I tore into him for that, and he deleted it.
I guess that was his way of apologizing because he's never said, "I'm sorry." The fact that he did that made me iffy about what I share with him. So I kinda of went back into my shell quite a bit on him.
This was not that long ago either. Maybe two weeks ago?
(Lets play here)
Instead of telling him **IN THE BEGINNING.** "No. I'm not comfortable with that." I was irritated by his request. How DARE he THINK he will get that again. So out of spite I sent him a picture, of a butt. Not mine...
He was obviously annoyed at me for that, and says,"I'm done talking to you."
I THEN expressed that I was afraid of what he might do with it, and that my trust had been broken (I didn't particularly say with him.) He says yeah, yeah whatever. Bye."
So I say "Seriously? Bye?"
He immediately changes his -Goodbye- to a -Goodnight- then no longer responds.
I later on send him a message while hes a asleep expressing my apology in depth. Explaining why I "acted out." and just for the unnecessary spiteful behavior. At the end of the message I left a little note about how though this is completely ridiculous that I think he's a great person whom I love. despite the immaturity of the situation, what I think of him has not changed.
I didn't expect for a response. Didn't get one either.
Insight? What would you do in said situation? Try to build that trust again? or otherwise—
When he asked for a sexy pic you should have just sent a really nice pic of yourself. Your sexy clothed! He needs to respect the tone you place. If not he isn't worth your time. yes men look at women and women either accept that or are secure enough in themselves and the relationship to be okay with it.
What is bothering me is the fact you felt the need to apologize. You ba
When he asked for a sexy pic you should have just sent a really nice pic of yourself. Your sexy clothed! He needs to respect the tone you place. If not he isn't worth your time. yes men look at women and women either accept that or are secure enough in themselves and the relationship to be okay with it.
What is bothering me is the fact you felt the need to apologize. You basically just told him that he was right to ask for a sexy pic and you didn't obey him and you needed to be punished. Instead of letting him know that trust was broken and he has to regain it. He will never and I do mean this ever respect you again. You set this tone of he is the boss and you are his kid and he can run you over and step on you and you are going to beg for his forgiveness because you didn't get hurt enough.
My advice is to see the lesson learned and move on from him. You don't have trust and he lost respect for you. Nothing else is there. Sorry to say that but never apologize for something that wasn't your fault in the first place. STand your ground and be the strong woman you are. Set boundaries and stick with them. Make these men climb and earn you.
What is bothering me is the fact you felt the need to apologize. You basically just told him that he was right to ask for a sexy pic and you didn't obey him and you needed to be punished. Instead of letting him know that trust was broken and he has to regain it. He will never and I do mean this ever respect you again. You set this tone of he is the boss and you are his kid and he can run you over and step on you and you are going to beg for his forgiveness because you didn't get hurt enough.
My advice is to see the lesson learned and move on from him. You don't have trust and he lost respect for you. Nothing else is there. Sorry to say that but never apologize for something that wasn't your fault in the first place. STand your ground and be the strong woman you are. Set boundaries and stick with them. Make these men climb and earn you.
Good. You're only 23. Lots to learn (said in non patronising way as I'm 34 and still getting to grips with the whole dating thing).
Buy a book called Mars and Venus on a date. It's part of the men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series by John Gray.
Then actually read it. You will learn a lot. Alternatively check out various websites such as
http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html?m=1<BR>
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-avoid-distant-needy/<BR>
https://askmarsvenus.com/Article.php?id=330<BR>
I'm currently on 'walkabout' from my Taurus man. He's gone quiet this past week so I've gone quiet too. He can fuck off if he thinks I'm contacting him! That's not stubbornness on my part. That's simply what this particular situation calls for right now. He needs to shit or get off the damn pot! He knows where I am, he's 34, has hands and fingers and owns a mobile with Internet connection.
Once he's finished doing whatever he is doing he will do one of two things:
1) contact me (ideally with news of a booked plane ticket!) whereupon I will not eagerly respond within five minutes, I will wait 3 days before casually replying (this isn't game playing, this is playing the dating game).
2) disappear never to be heard of again... Which means it wasn't meant to be and I'm not wasting my time on him.
Sure, I like option 1, yes I think about him every day, yes I sometimes get pissed off and frustrated with it, yes I sometimes vent to everyone else EXCEPT Taurus man (and I don't put much on here either).
There's a massive difference between my mind set and your mind set and how we deal with things yet we are both dealing with males who are Taurus and who are being a pain in the arse!
The moral of the story is... Errrr... Learn the art of dating, get some self respect, stop playing into this guys hand, oh and stop the emotional manipulating drama... It's sooooo last year!!
Buy a book called Mars and Venus on a date. It's part of the men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series by John Gray.
Then actually read it. You will learn a lot. Alternatively check out various websites such as
http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html?m=1<BR>
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-avoid-distant-needy/<BR>
https://askmarsvenus.com/Article.php?id=330<BR>
I'm currently on 'walkabout' from my Taurus man. He's gone quiet this past week so I've gone quiet too. He can fuck off if he thinks I'm contacting him! That's not stubbornness on my part. That's simply what this particular situation calls for right now. He needs to shit or get off the damn pot! He knows where I am, he's 34, has hands and fingers and owns a mobile with Internet connection.
Once he's finished doing whatever he is doing he will do one of two things:
1) contact me (ideally with news of a booked plane ticket!) whereupon I will not eagerly respond within five minutes, I will wait 3 days before casually replying (this isn't game playing, this is playing the dating game).
2) disappear never to be heard of again... Which means it wasn't meant to be and I'm not wasting my time on him.
Sure, I like option 1, yes I think about him every day, yes I sometimes get pissed off and frustrated with it, yes I sometimes vent to everyone else EXCEPT Taurus man (and I don't put much on here either).
There's a massive difference between my mind set and your mind set and how we deal with things yet we are both dealing with males who are Taurus and who are being a pain in the arse!
The moral of the story is... Errrr... Learn the art of dating, get some self respect, stop playing into this guys hand, oh and stop the emotional manipulating drama... It's sooooo last year!!
@SpinCycle.
I apologized for being spiteful. Sending anything at all was un-need. I did not apologize for not sending a picture. I am not sending him anything sexy period because I don't trust that he will keep it to himself.
He knows that. He knew that right after he asked me for one.
I apologized for being spiteful. Sending anything at all was un-need. I did not apologize for not sending a picture. I am not sending him anything sexy period because I don't trust that he will keep it to himself.
He knows that. He knew that right after he asked me for one.
Posted by AgentP911
Good. You're only 23. Lots to learn (said in non patronising way as I'm 34 and still getting to grips with the whole dating thing).
Buy a book called Mars and Venus on a date. It's part of the men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series by John Gray.
Then actually read it. You will learn a lot. Alternatively check out various websites such as
http://www.aphroditeastrology.com/2012/06/disappearing-reappearing-man-what-to-do.html?m=1<BR>
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-avoid-distant-needy/<BR>
https://askmarsvenus.com/Article.php?id=330<BR>
I'm currently on 'walkabout' from my Taurus man. He's gone quiet this past week so I've gone quiet too. He can fuck off if he thinks I'm contacting him! That's not stubbornness on my part. That's simply what this particular situation calls for right now. He needs to shit or get off the damn pot! He knows where I am, he's 34, has hands and fingers and owns a mobile with Internet connection.
Once he's finished doing whatever he is doing he will do one of two things:
1) contact me (ideally with news of a booked plane ticket!) whereupon I will not eagerly respond within five minutes, I will wait 3 days before casually replying (this isn't game playing, this is playing the dating game).
2) disappear never to be heard of again... Which means it wasn't meant to be and I'm not wasting my time on him.
Sure, I like option 1, yes I think about him every day, yes I sometimes get pissed off and frustrated with it, yes I sometimes vent to everyone else EXCEPT Taurus man (and I don't put much on here either).
There's a massive difference between my mind set and your mind set and how we deal with things yet we are both dealing with males who are Taurus and who are being a pain in the arse!
The moral of the story is... Errrr... Learn the art of dating, get some self respect, stop playing into this guys hand, oh and stop the emotional manipulating drama... It's sooooo last year!!
lol, Well said. Thank you. I'll be looking at those links.
Posted by BeaCancer91
@SpinCycle.
I apologized for being spiteful. Sending anything at all was un-need. I did not apologize for not sending a picture. I am not sending him anything sexy period because I don't trust that he will keep it to himself.
He knows that. He knew that right after he asked me for one.
SMH...everything I said went over your head..........
spincyle
I'm sorry I'm a little hardheaded, and don't like to see things as they are. I got unnecessarily hotheaded. I re read what you said
I didn't mean for it look that way.. If I'm wrong for something specifically. I apologize.
So I got a little ticked only reading that small portion. I'm not seeing how I apologized for the picture when I clearly stated my reasoning for my wrong
Like that all matters now. Im sorry and I do understand you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry I'm a little hardheaded, and don't like to see things as they are. I got unnecessarily hotheaded. I re read what you said
I didn't mean for it look that way.. If I'm wrong for something specifically. I apologize.
So I got a little ticked only reading that small portion. I'm not seeing how I apologized for the picture when I clearly stated my reasoning for my wrong
Like that all matters now. Im sorry and I do understand you.
Thank you.
Posted by BeaCancer91
spincyle
I'm sorry I'm a little hardheaded, and don't like to see things as they are. I got unnecessarily hotheaded. I re read what you said
I didn't mean for it look that way.. If I'm wrong for something specifically. I apologize.
So I got a little ticked only reading that small portion. I'm not seeing how I apologized for the picture when I clearly stated my reasoning for my wrong
Like that all matters now. Im sorry and I do understand you.
Thank you.
I now see the type of person you are. You apologize over things you need not to apologize for. I did not need this apology. My point to you is this.
He asked you for a sexy picture.
You sent him one of a butt that was not yours...which was a game and your own insecurity due to not trusting him anymore.
You should have sent him a picture of you..A selfie. You in your own right are sexy. OWN IT.
He got angry at the butt pic and huffed away.
You went all passive on him and tried to lure him back..he says goodbye then goodnight much at your insistance
Then you get truly all passive and call him acting all desperate and apologizing for what———?? HE ASKED YOU FOR A PIC...AND HE BROKE TRUST.
You apologizing is telling him it is okay for him to be wrong you will just suck it up and beg him for his bad behavior.
This scenario from an emotionally healthy woman would go like this...
Him: send me a sexy pic
Her" she sends a pic of her face smiling
Him: perplexed That wasn't what I was hoping for but okay
Her: You lost your right to anything sexier than my face
Him: Whatever goodbye
Her: See ya.
Him: Looking at the phone hearing the dial tone
The end. He screwed up. By you apologizing you actually told him you screwed up and his breaking trust and acting like a lame douche was okay.
Set your standards. HIGH. Accept nothing less. He has no respect for you now..trust me he doesn't and he won't anymore. You don't have trust anyway..so the point of this relationship is what? Right..nothing..learn the lesson. Leave with your head up and with the next one stand your ground and don't act passive.
(Cont)
Posted by SpinCycle
Posted by missghost
I think you do have a decent amount of self respect, given that you stood your ground in refusing to send him that second pic. You just seem a little misguided. I see zero justification for him being upset at you in this scenario.
If I'm reading this correctly, the guy disrespected you 3 times within the span of 2 weeks. Once, when he publicized your photo, twice, when he refused to offer an apology for doing so, and then finally, a third time, when he completely dismissed your reasoning for why you no longer trust him. This guy is a total jerk! And to think he had the audacity to make you look like the bad guy.
I'd dump him like yesterday's garbage. Wouldn't even care to remain friends, if I were in that situation.
Three times, yes.
We aren't what I would call "Friends" anyway. He spends our whole "friendship." trying to see what I will, and can do for him.
When its nothing, and I don't accommodate to his wishes. He leaves, but oh sweet oh! I still don't understand why he does his, but he appears out the blue to "Try again." only to get the same result. I get the same outcome from him "Ignored."
I can't count how many times, he's done this.
I almost want to justify his behavior by saying he's acting this way because he just had a death in his family, but that doesn't explain the other several months of the same action.
Appreciate you! Ciao!
Posted by AgentP911
Errrrr
In my opinion and experience, Cancerians are emotionally manipulative and thrive off drama.
LOL! THIS is so true! My cousin is a Cancer and as much as she denies it, she LOVES drama and attention -_-
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Late last night I sent my Taurus a heart. He immediately responds saying "I was just thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing." We engage in a light hearted conversation. He disappears for an hour, but later returns. He out of the blue says "Send me a sexy picture."
(Lets pause here.)
In the past I have sent him sexy pictures. Only for him to see mind you. He ended up posting one of those explicit photos PUBLICLY via internet. (My face was hidden) BUT I tore into him for that, and he deleted it.
I guess that was his way of apologizing because he's never said, "I'm sorry." The fact that he did that made me iffy about what I share with him. So I kinda of went back into my shell quite a bit on him.
This was not that long ago either. Maybe two weeks ago?
(Lets play here)
Instead of telling him **IN THE BEGINNING.** "No. I'm not comfortable with that." I was irritated by his request. How DARE he THINK he will get that again. So out of spite I sent him a picture, of a butt. Not mine...
He was obviously annoyed at me for that, and says,"I'm done talking to you."
I THEN expressed that I was afraid of what he might do with it, and that my trust had been broken (I didn't particularly say with him.) He says yeah, yeah whatever. Bye."
So I say "Seriously? Bye?"
He immediately changes his -Goodbye- to a -Goodnight- then no longer responds.
I later on send him a message while hes a asleep expressing my apology in depth. Explaining why I "acted out." and just for the unnecessary spiteful behavior. At the end of the message I left a little note about how though this is completely ridiculous that I think he's a great person whom I love. despite the immaturity of the situation, what I think of him has not changed.
I didn't expect for a response. Didn't get one either.
Insight? What would you do in said situation? Try to build that trust again? or otherwise—