hear my out and please don't judge (Page 2)

Whoever suggested a rebound, it ain't that kind of party. I dont give myself out like that. T man came into mh life when I wa s looking.

Correct, overnight, its being done more and more, seriously.

Yes legally and in the eyes of god, that is my thing, it is, but in reality and logic it is not.

Posted by AgentP911
Errrr you're married to somebody else regardless of your arrangement. He's single and free to do as he pleases.

What exactly did you think you could offer him?

Nothing with any longevity.

Your ego is bruised. It happens to us all at some point. Revenge and petty games are pointless and serve no purpose.

You failed to see the situation for exactly what it was. He didn't.

You sound like a Venus in Scorp...

venus in scorio ? *smirk * hehe

@scorch im delusional bc I feel hurt over someone playing with my feelings. Really....and it's not about winning, its about respect and being a real person and being honest.

I'm not trying to change what's in the eyes of the law, that's not even the topic.

That's not grounds to say im delusional, really. You sound more bitter than me. Geez

Listen I nvr said feelings were facts. Doesn't change how I FEEL. All im saying is he coulda told me. Instead he left without ONE word to me, nothing. That hurt me.

If I let you tell my story im not entitle to MY feelings, but you're not telling my story.

I've expresssed my feelings, im hurt, there is nothing to understand I've already paid the price, there is nothing left to grieve, he shoulda told me and yes I want to show him you may have hurt me, badly, but you didn't break me. I know that sob will call again, looking for a few things. 1. To see if im still available to him 2. Booty call or 3. It didn't work out with the other chic. And yes, im ready to make him feel, you dont exist in my life anymore. You left without a word to me why should I give you 9/10 of a second of my time. And its obvious what my feelings are im on this forum.

Juzt bc I'm not expressing my feelings the way YOU want me to doesnt mesn my feelings aren't genuine...really

And she says im delusional I did nothing to you.

Yes, a very raw and vulnerable one.

I do wish him the best, I didn't say come back I said call. Meaning he'll come back by calling. I actually love him enough to not ever get back with him booty call or otherwise bc I want to remember MY memories I had with him and he brough4 me something beautiful that I know will nvr be tbe same again, he did me too dirty.

Its a layer of feelings, not just ONE.

Posted by scorchedearth
entitled is another good word to describe you also.

we are all responsible for our own feelings. and only our own feelings.

you've even straight up said you want him to come back just so you can tell him to fuck off. there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of "love" or "care" in your feelings for him. it's all ego games. bullshit.

if you really loved him you'd want him to be happy even if it wasn't with you.

Exactly . Real love , u want to see them happy. All I'm seeing is revenge. Coming from a Taurus perspective, I would have done the exact same thing.... We R best at silent treatment. Unfair yes, but just because he didn't say farewell or final goodbye doesn't mean he's not hurt! Sometimes we deal with hurt differently.... To me, if I was dating a man who was married but living seperately n no longer in love, I would have done the same thing. In my mind ( I have given him 13 months to get divorced properly! But he didn't, so I am out ). Simple. I would re connect if I still feel for him when he's really free.. No longer married n we can continue

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by scorpchiclooking4taurus4me
And our relationship is not open, its convenience and co parenting, we haven't slept together in a few yrs. Before t man.

your primary relationship in the eyes of the law, and god if that's your thing, is your marriage. it is not your side dick. delusional scorp... come back to reality pls.

click to expand

+11111110000000111111000

@swaeetz, wouldn't you at least discuss with him first. At least at a minimum, at least you put it out there. He hurt me badly and he just found someone else. So he isn't hurting he's was the dumper not dumpee.

I do want to see him happy everyone deserves to be including him and me, but I'll nvr go bk, he did me to dirty to cowardly a man like him doesn't get past the honeymoon stage. But he brought me something beautiful and I want to remember OUR memories, gettimg bk together or booty calls would only devalue my memories and I want my memorioes.

If TLS, was on this topic, he'd completely understand, he really explain things in the right words, great writer.

And everyone is entitled. Ijs, every last one of us are. It describes everyone.

And I nvr said to tell him off I said so he can feel what it's like to be completely ignored by someone who you thought csred and loved you. No words are needed. The silence is the loudest thing in the room.

As cowardly, as horribly as that may sound, I seem to find running away from conflicts the easiet... don't ask me why or how. We prefer peace and discussing about it will not change anything. 1) will he get a divorced? 2) what about his kid? The kid needs his mother? So my solution, it's time.

I don't deny the logic, just communication. He left without a single word. We slept together and poof gone. Nvr to hear from him again. NOT nice, at all.

Logically we r amazing. Communication wise, it can be a bit of a nightmare. Sorry he hurt you, don't take it personally, it didn't mean what you had was nothing though. We put reasons behind feelings most of the time... Unfortunately..

In the end it is what it is. End of story.

Thank you, I learned a lot from him and I won't knock Taurus men. I love them. When the right times comes I will be hoping, he's a taurus man.

I've accepted, sometimes, there is no closure, but by no means does that mean I don't want to move on or want to stay connected. My emotions just come in waves and today I just vented cuz in the end I'm good, he can't take ME away.

Omg, SOB, called me. I have him on block. He called at 8:33. I'm just seeing it now.

Thank you evrryone, you've all helped me. Just put my feelings out there and to vent my hurt, but I love me and letting him back in, Will only mess with my self esteem and self confindence & I won't do that, that'll be even worse. Thank you again, guys. Silence the LOUDEST noise in the room.

Posted by scorpchiclooking4taurus4me
Omg, SOB, called me. I have him on block. He called at 8:33. I'm just seeing it now.

do you think he has seen this post?

No, seriously doubt it.

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by scorpchiclooking4taurus4me
Omg, SOB, called me. I have him on block. He called at 8:33. I'm just seeing it now.

do you think he has seen this post?

click to expand

Before u were hurt n venting n now he's back you are backing off. What do you really want from the guy really. Be direct . End your marriage n move forward.

Posted by AgentP911
Sounds great. Almost ideal. I'll try very hard to ensure I don't end up in a situation like that.

LOL!

What I've deduced from these posts thus far is that OP is a piss poor parent and quite the little harlot. She claims to have a child, but it's all about her. Parents are supposed to be ALL about the kids, once they turn adults you can do whatever the fuck you want with whoever you want. Instead you go around spreading your legs with someone other than your husband making a mockery of the concept of marriage and make excuses for why you can't divorce him, even though you are so unhappy with him.

Staying together for the sake of your child while noble is the wrong move. My parents weren't in love, they hated each others guts but they made a decision to stay together for my benefit. However in hindsight having them together wasn't beneficial, in fact it hurt me more than it helped me.

Do you think your child will look down upon you any less if you weren't together anymore? Knowing your Mother is a cheater and a slut is worse than the knowledge that your parents will never get back together. When you got pregnant and decided to have a child, you became responsible for a human being for the next 18 (16 - UK) years.

Being a Parent means having to make hard decisions which are in the best interest of your child and if this is troublesome for you then by all means divorce your husband, allow him full custody so you can go ride every dick under the stars. If you really do have a child, you need to do what's best for them, otherwise your just another shitty parent in a sea of crap parents whose children will grow up not respecting them and leave them the first chance they get. If meaningful relationships mean nothing to you by all means keep on the path you are on.

And for future reference, it really is this simple.

Yup ^^^^^

But apparently it isn't...

Bull, MY life is non of your bussiness, honestly. And everything you say is YOUR opinion like an asshole, EVERYBODY, got one.
And everyone always will.

@seweetz, I was tired last night.I went to sleep I don't want anything from him. The way he handled the situation is a CLEAR sign he'll do it again. I just simply wanted to know if he'd ever call again bc I know we shared something special, but he made HIS choice when he completely ignored me. And he did call and no, I didn't return his call I will leave him wondering, just like he did me. He shoulda told me. At least put it out there.

Flowingwater, I'm not revengful. I simply will not allow myself to be emotionally abuse and played with. It's that simple. No person deserves it. If you can't be straight up, then I don't want you in my life.

Beefy, it's not any of your business or anyone else's, this IS a forum and everyone can post their opinions, but doesn't make it your business. No one on this forum is a saint. Believe me.

@intjbull, he DID call, but that's not the point, some of what you say it true your post is the most logical in the sense of having me like he'd like to have and you're right no over night stays at my house. Those things are true. As for telling me, no big blow out I would havd to understand everyone has to do their lives, but to leave the way he did was so hurtful we talked about it and I did expect him to tell him if he found someone else or couldn't deal anymore. Not just completely ignore me. He's not a talker like most bulls. But I love him enough to let him go and understand I couldn't give him ALL. He is still someone I would have liked to be friends with he brought something special to me I thought was special to both. I could have respected him more, if he told me, but you're right, he didn't give a shit about me, at all and the realization of that really hurts to the core. We're both adults and knew the situation on both sides.

It doesn't matter if you consider yourself committed to your husband or not and how many people are "still married but committed to someone else" because whether he will get in touch with you again is what you're worried about. So it's really his viewpoint of the subject that matters. And to answer your question, I don't think so. Typically, a Taurus simply won't look at a taken person as their "official" partner. Regardless of how much time is spent with them and whether the married person is in love and having sex with their legal partner or not. Did he ever even call you two official? Did he ever call you his girlfriend? I would be surprised if he did. While cutting ties out of the blue after 13 months without an explanation is unusual and cowardly, the reality of the matter is that he doesn't really owe you an explanation. He is free and you are not, regardless of the nature of your marriage, regardless of the "arrangement" between you and your husband, etc. All of that goes under your private life. In public, you are a married woman and knowing Taureans, he won't roll with that. He most likely never took you seriously, probably found a situation that better suits his life. It's just our nature, Taurus rules the house of possessions after all. Sharing the one that we're in a relationship with/committed to, on paper ot not, is a no-no.

@theatrum, thank you bc that was the topic and you are absouletly correct in all you said I don't think ANY man who's serious would want it this way. Thank you for being logical & not judgemental. But until I'm out of my living situation, it would be this way with anyone, not that I am going to be with someone else. The bull brought me a lot of food for thought yet and still I will keep what I have is my memories with him and a lesson learned. Move on figure things out on my end.

I know to a lot of ppl It's wrong, but it's becoming more & more a new way of family. I bet 1 out of 10 ppl have the same living arragements, it just makes life easier on everyone involved in the family. The parents and the kids. Some of society will accept it orhers will not, but society is moving at a really fast pace and change should always be expected in this new era, even when we don't want it to or if it hurts, doesn't change how ppl are doings in THIER lives, for the better, for them & their family, doesn't change the roller coaster ride, we call life some don't believe in same sed marriage, but it's still going to happen & no one can change that in society. No one can. I have abt 6 more yrs, but idk what will or can happen in that time. I know, right now, today, in the in the present, it works for us including the kids. btw, all families are dysfunction in one way or another & families today come in all ways, same sex, mixed in, adopted, separated, but living together, ppl are going to have to get used it, not to mention, parents with addiction or anger problems, it's THAT families arrangements, that works for them and their children, thee is worst out there, trust me and way more unhealthy to the children. We get along and co parent, just don't want to through the hassles AND the struggle down here is rough, for a lot of ppl. That's all ima say abt that. Thanks again for all the positive and logical answers.

Posted by scorpchiclooking4taurus4me
I know to a lot of ppl It's wrong, but it's becoming more & more a new way of family. I bet 1 out of 10 ppl have the same living arragements, it just makes life easier on everyone involved in the family. The parents and the kids.

I have to disagree with you because I have been where you are.

I won't go into details, I'm not in the mood but it took about 2 months living like you describe for me to figure out I was lying to myself and this was not a healthy situation for anyone involved... husband, kids and myself. It took awhile to untangle but I did it with open communication, negotiation and putting the kids best interest ahead of my own.

I lost 2 businesses, all the married couple friends and a few family members. It was the hardest but also the best thing I ever did. I needed to start fresh.

6 years later... my kids spend more time with their Dad than they ever did when we were together because he was forced to take an active roll of being their father. No more fighting and as parents, we get along because there are no personal emotions involved.

You may not be unhappy but you're not happy either and you are definitely not free, no matter what you tell yourself. It takes strength and courage to step out of a comfortable living situation that's for show in order to gain something that's real.

@shellshocker, maybe FOR YOU & YOUR FAMILY, it didn't work, and we can all agree to disgree, furthermore I'd be just as happy if I were to leave, except the struggle would be real & my son WOULD be affected, in many different ways, thats great it worked out for you & the kids when you left, it works for some and not for others just like everything else in life, what works FOR YOU, may not, FOR OTHER & you're right, as a parent I am NOT free being single doesn't make me free, either, in the datinf scene yes, to a certain degree, but my child always comes first, his father and don't fight, at all. And honestly now you can't FORCE anyone to xo anything your ex CHOOSE, to take a more active role and WE CHOOSE, to stay living together, but separated & it works for us.

It's not for show, its FOR US, what we feel is best, for us and our son, period. No one lives with us or pays our bills, we want stability, for him, he's 12, attends an A school, is deeply into travel sports, is happy, has us both in the same home. We share everything like co parents, except intimacy & we're ok with that, we respect each other and our home. If it's not a problem for us. In due time, yes, we can go our separate ways, we did our job, with our son.

you don't drive a bmw by any chance do you?

@ jeane Lol, we're poor, we only have small change, no big $ $ , here.