I Love Him but Can't Say It

I'm a Taurus woman (Aries/Taurus cusp) and for all the fear in the world cannot get the words out to my Cap man. He's said it many times, often dramatically and I cannot even whisper it while he sleeps.

I've been hurt but I pride myself for being resilient. Perhaps I need therapy.

Any similar experiences?

Have you been able to say it to others?

Do you believe him when he says it to you?

Do you think withholding gives you an advantage possibly?

I say it to my family all the time, even some friends. I was skeptical when he said it in the beginning but I believe now that he does.

The only advantage I feel is safer not being as vulnerable as I could be. Ugh I just know if I go there I'll fall too hard and too deeply and get attached and if it doesn't work I'll have to go through the trouble of getting over it.

I'm scared

My Aries/Taurus cuz says it all the time to fam,friends her bf. If you love people, let them know 🙂 not everyone needs to hear it but some do and it is always a nice thing to hear.

Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxX
Hey power cusp sis...

Hi Queen

One of Tauruses biggest fears is having our walls knocked down. We keep them high up to protect not only ourselves, but our heart and emotions.

Allowing someone to love us and to love them back can be tough for us sometimes, especially if we've been hurt in the past. I'm just personally speaking from experience. However, sometimes we just have to take that risk because the "what ifs" will haunt us even more than regret/resentment.

After you get rid of your fear, see how you feel after with wanting to tell him and just go for it. For two people to be in a relationship and in love, they have to both feel free and ready to love each other. Can't be in a relationship forever living in fear. You are stronger than this girl. Only you will know when it will be the right time to say it. How long have y'all been dating now?

Since December

Words can be just as powerful. I remember saying a prayer for certain loved ones, and then told them what I prayed about. Telling them made such a huge difference. Normally​I would just pray and keep it to myself. Tears welled up in their eyes. Sometimes people need to hear it. Sugarnspunk is correct. Although our hearts are always in the right place. People are not always mind reminders.

Posted by SweetestFatale
Since December

Only a few months. Focus on getting rid of that fear first and only if you want to truly get rid of it. Good luck 🙂

I'm an Aries-Taurus cusp too technically... I also have an Aquarius moon. I have been told that I seem to keep others "at a distance;" it's true that I rarely feel that I can open up to people as true friends. It's easier for me to keep everyone at arm's length so that I don't get too invested. I get like that in romantic relationships too. I am coming off of a divorce and feel very afraid about falling in love again. Maybe you fear getting hurt if you open up and are vulnerable. I know that's my issue...

Posted by SweetLily_89
Life is too short darlin. I had a co worker pass away recently, no one saw it coming. She had so many plans for the future..

Just say it.. Sometimes, we forget that we are on borrowed time. We put things off and keep putting it off as, if we have all the time in the world. "Tomorrows another day", but we are not promised tomorrow.

Live and love as if, it's your last. Love is such as beautiful thing and it should be expressed freely. What have you got to lose, if the love you feel is real then there is nothing to regret.

I love this! I needed to hear this too.

Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

His actions were very superficial?

Explain.

Posted by TaurusBull1977
His actions were very superficial?

Explain.

All talk, no action or he would be hot then cold. The only thing he did consistently was show up and he got so belligerent when I asked what I could expect from him. This has been my experience with Caps on the whole. They have stars in their eyes and their hands in their pockets while they expect you to stick with them no matter what. The quality in the quality time was missing and I don't think it would have changed because he saw no problem with it

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

Posted by jeane

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

click to expand

No, it wasn't my thoughts that made me realize I didn't love him. It was him.

Also replying to the "maybe he was scared...". Someone being scared is a perfectly good explanation for someone NOT wanting to be in a relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me as a reason for someone ask to be in a relationship then basically just BE there but do nothing.

Quality time and sitting in a room at the same time are 2 different things. What started as quality time turned into being in a room at the same time. It was entirely too soon for that vibe.

I think now that it takes time for my feelings to build and I wanted to respond to his, but they just weren't established and now I realize it was because there was something missing. A certain depth and it didn't seem like he was at all interest in cultivating that. I think he loved the comfort and peace of the circumstances more than he actually loved me.

Posted by SweetestFatale

Posted by jeane

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

No, it wasn't my thoughts that made me realize I didn't love him. It was him.

Also replying to the "maybe he was scared...". Someone being scared is a perfectly good explanation for someone NOT wanting to be in a relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me as a reason for someone ask to be in a relationship then basically just BE there but do nothing.

Quality time and sitting in a room at the same time are 2 different things. What started as quality time turned into being in a room at the same time. It was entirely too soon for that vibe.

I think now that it takes time for my feelings to build and I wanted to respond to his, but they just weren't established and now I realize it was because there was something missing. A certain depth and it didn't seem like he was at all interest in cultivating that. I think he loved the comfort and peace of the circumstances more than he actually loved me.

click to expand

This sounds familiar. I experienced it with the Taurus. It got to the point where he'd come over and just sit in silence, but not because he was comfortable I could tell. Id feel he wanted me to show or give something, but I couldn't and wouldn't because it would be forced, so we'd just sit there lol smh.

Your Cap probably is aware that something was missing.

Posted by SweetestFatale

Posted by jeane

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

No, it wasn't my thoughts that made me realize I didn't love him. It was him.

Also replying to the "maybe he was scared...". Someone being scared is a perfectly good explanation for someone NOT wanting to be in a relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me as a reason for someone ask to be in a relationship then basically just BE there but do nothing.

Quality time and sitting in a room at the same time are 2 different things. What started as quality time turned into being in a room at the same time. It was entirely too soon for that vibe.

I think now that it takes time for my feelings to build and I wanted to respond to his, but they just weren't established and now I realize it was because there was something missing. A certain depth and it didn't seem like he was at all interest in cultivating that. I think he loved the comfort and peace of the circumstances more than he actually loved me.

click to expand

I sorta understand what you're going through. Us Tauruses live life and work around life using common sense. When we don't see logic or common sense being used, it frustrates us, sometimes annoys us to the core.

I was sorta in the same situation 2 weeks ago with a cap who's been in my life for months now. I won't go into details since I don't want guidance, but I was trying to make the situation easier and telling him that I think we're better off as just friends so we don't waste each others time and so forth. He wasn't having it. There's more to the story, but we're not exclusive. I was just getting frustrated because there was no logic to me and him still playing this game if we're not moving forward. And as we know, us Taurus like to be in situations that they feel some control over. We don't like the unpredictable. I know he's taking his time since he's trying to figure me out and live his life and I'm not making it easier for him since my walls are higher than the great wall of China. He's slowly getting comfortable with me but that's not good enough for me so I'll let time pass and see where it goes since it took him months to just tell me he likes me, even though I already knew based on how gentleman-like he is with me with respecting my wishes on not being intimate. The more reserved you are, the less I open up. As we all know caps don't like being told what to do. As a wise scorp woman on here told me, what may be 7 months for us is only 7 minutes for them. It takes a great deal of patience to be with them and handle them. Just because one couldn't, doesn't mean they're weak or anything, just means it wasn't meant to be at that time. I'm a very patient person, however, even I have my limits so it's only a matter of time before I get bored and just walk away for good.

Sorry you had to go thru this @SweetestFatale ::hugs::

Posted by SweetestFatale

Posted by jeane

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

No, it wasn't my thoughts that made me realize I didn't love him. It was him.

Also replying to the "maybe he was scared...". Someone being scared is a perfectly good explanation for someone NOT wanting to be in a relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me as a reason for someone ask to be in a relationship then basically just BE there but do nothing.

Quality time and sitting in a room at the same time are 2 different things. What started as quality time turned into being in a room at the same time. It was entirely too soon for that vibe.

I think now that it takes time for my feelings to build and I wanted to respond to his, but they just weren't established and now I realize it was because there was something missing. A certain depth and it didn't seem like he was at all interest in cultivating that. I think he loved the comfort and peace of the circumstances more than he actually loved me.

click to expand

Hey, SweetestFatale. Have you ever been in a happy relationship in your life? What's the longest you stayed in a relationship? Also which has been the best compatibility so far in your life? With which sign did you find yourself staying the longest? I'm asking this from personal interest because I relate so much with your personality. I'm also an Aries/Taurus cusper (April 22) and I have Moon in Capricorn (which has made all my life to be a robot lol). For things to be even weird, these days I'm sorta dating a Capricorn man too (December 25) and the dynamics look pretty close to what you described until this point when you announced you broke things off.

Posted by Mered1th

Posted by SweetestFatale

Posted by jeane

Posted by SweetestFatale
Well I've broke up with him. I realize that despite him professing his love, his actions were very superficial. I care for him, wanted to love him, but couldn't. He probably sensed my hesitation, but the fact that we couldn't find the balance of show and tell...I'm fine with it.

So do you think that even though you felt you loved him when you started this thread that when you thought about it you didn't and that's why you couldn't say it?

Not judging. Sincere question.

No, it wasn't my thoughts that made me realize I didn't love him. It was him.

Also replying to the "maybe he was scared...". Someone being scared is a perfectly good explanation for someone NOT wanting to be in a relationship, but it doesn't make sense to me as a reason for someone ask to be in a relationship then basically just BE there but do nothing.

Quality time and sitting in a room at the same time are 2 different things. What started as quality time turned into being in a room at the same time. It was entirely too soon for that vibe.

I think now that it takes time for my feelings to build and I wanted to respond to his, but they just weren't established and now I realize it was because there was something missing. A certain depth and it didn't seem like he was at all interest in cultivating that. I think he loved the comfort and peace of the circumstances more than he actually loved me.

Hey, SweetestFatale. Have you ever been in a happy relationship in your life? What's the longest you stayed in a relationship? Also which has been the best compatibility so far in your life? With which sign did you find yourself staying the longest? I'm asking this from personal interest because I relate so much with your personality. I'm also an Aries/Taurus cusper (April 22) and I have Moon in Capricorn (which has made all my life to be a robot lol). For things to be even weird, these days I'm sorta dating a Capricorn man too (December 25) and the dynamics look pretty close to what you described until this point when you announced you broke things off.

click to expand

Crazy!! I'm 4/21 and he's 12/24

I have always sucked at every kind of relationship. I wasn't the type to make friends,hang out or date as a kid or teenager. My happiness in relationships is best traced on a moment to moment basis. I was very happy with a Scorpio but he was a habitual cheater. I've never been in a long term relationship. 6 months to a year is all I have in me lol. I think I enjoy Pisces men the most because they're smart but not pretentious (like Capricorns tend to be) but mixing water and earth is quite a challenge. I'm attracted to all the compatible signs but there is something that doesn't vibe.