Pushed Taurus man to move too fast - have I ruined it?

Hi all, I am feeling a bit down and I'd love some perspective on the situation I am currently dealing with.

I met this Taurus sun/ Taurus rising 6 weeks ago. We had 6 dates, all went really well, loads of chemistry and laughter. We slept together 3 times. Plenty of daily texting in between dates, which he mostly initiated. I thought he was really keen on me. I am also Taurus sun, but my Scorpio moon and Gemini rising make me an unusual Taurus I think.

Yesterday we had a great 6th date, we stayed out for drinks and we had a lovely time. He kept hinting at things to do together in the future (like watching a theater play). We went back to his and then I playfully approached the subject of sleeping with other people, as I felt that after sleeping together 3 times (today was the third time) I did not feel comfortable with the possibility of him sleeping with other women, while he was sleeping with me regularly. He also has issues with condoms, so I said if he gets tested we could consider going condom-free, since I am on the pill.

I made it quite clear that I was not asking about relationship exclusivity, just sex exclusivity. Also, I raised the subject partially because I was tipsy, the conversation definitely wasn't planned.

He said he was not sleeping with anyone else and that he thought we should see "where this thing between us goes". Then he initiated sex again, just to lose an erection as soon as he put the condom on. He then blamed the conversation about sex we just had, as he said it was "playing on his mind". Then he said he wanted me to sleep over and just cuddle.

I woke up at 2am in his bed (and in his arms) and got dressed and left (I need to go to work tomorrow). We said goodbye but it felt really awkward and I somehow had the impression that the conversation ruined everything between us.

To be honest, I don't like the way this exchange made me feel and I don't think this bodes well for the future. I don't think that asking whether he is sleeping with other people 6 weeks in is an outrageous thing to do? I know Tauruses move slowly, and I think he might feel like I was trying to push him into a relationship, when in fact I just wanted to be reassured that I am not one of many girls in his roster.

Should I think that he just isn't that into me? This happened the night before yesterday, and I haven't heard from him ever since.

so you'd be happy if he went out on dates with other people, just not slept with them?

this is the problem you get when you start sleeping with someone before you have determined if you are both on the same page.

i don't think you have pushed him away but that depends on how strong your interactions were to begin.

it also doesn't read that you are entirely clear either with yourself what you want or where you want this to go. do you want to be exclusive? do you just want exclusive fwb? do you want him to stop dating other women while you determine if you should become exclusive? if you aren't clear about what you want, you won't know if you get it.

my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.

i know it sounds like a boring conversation but often having clear communication now avoids miscommunications further down the line.

Posted by jeane

my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.

How did that work out in the end?

Posted by ondasp

Posted by jeane

my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.

How did that work out in the end?

click to expand

she said her partner, which means they are still together - discussion and clear expectations

and your rushing off in the middle of the night was just plain weird and would be confusing to anyone - like when he couldn't have sex you weren't happy and just left ? wth ?

yeah, you need to work on your issues before you connect with someone again and continue this strange behavior

Posted by RooSagicorn

Also you’ve been dating 6 weeks at an average of seeing each other 1x a week & have had sex 4 times. That seems like a lot of sex for the slow speed of dating. How much of a connection is there or is it mostly about sex? Especially since you’re worried about exclusivity only with sex.

It definitely did not feel like it was just about sex, there has been daily communication and a strong intellectual connection (which happens quite rarely to me!).

I was worried about exclusivity with sex because in the past I dated a guy for 3 months, just to find out he was sleeping with 2 other women in the meantime. That was pretty hurting. I never want to find myself in that situation again, hence my need to bring the conversation up and make it clear that I don't feel comfortable with multiple dating.

Posted by Arielle83

Why can’t u go with the flow and wrap it up?

Wrap it up as in ending it?

Posted by ondasp

Posted by jeane

my partner "wanted to see how things go". i didn't. i wanted a clear understanding of each other's expectations and needs. from there we could determine if we each wanted to continue.

How did that work out in the end?

click to expand

we talked about it and we hammered out each of our concerns. we reached a point where our needs were both being met and we are still together now.

If asking for sexually exclusivity after 6 weeks ‘ruined’ it for him then he’s not the one for you 🤷‍♀️

Posted by Arielle83

Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.

Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by ondasp

Posted by RooSagicorn

Also you’ve been dating 6 weeks at an average of seeing each other 1x a week & have had sex 4 times. That seems like a lot of sex for the slow speed of dating. How much of a connection is there or is it mostly about sex? Especially since you’re worried about exclusivity only with sex.

It definitely did not feel like it was just about sex, there has been daily communication and a strong intellectual connection (which happens quite rarely to me!).

I was worried about exclusivity with sex because in the past I dated a guy for 3 months, just to find out he was sleeping with 2 other women in the meantime. That was pretty hurting. I never want to find myself in that situation again, hence my need to bring the conversation up and make it clear that I don't feel comfortable with multiple dating.

Ok that’s understandable. But what you said here sounded like you were more worried about sex with others than dating others. Sounds like neither of you are dating others at the moment. So he isn’t seeing anyone else but wants to reserve the right to? Or wants to pursue this between you until he sees if he wants a relationship? I’m a little unclear. Just because one guys a jerk doesn’t make another jerk also.

But that’s why I wait to have sex until I’m comfortable with what the situation is.

click to expand

What he said was "I am not sleeping with anyone else" and then "let's just see where this thing between us goes". But then he blamed his bedroom issues to that conversation..

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Arielle83

Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.

Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!

In other words, you’re moving too fast.

I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.

It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.

Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?

You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it down

click to expand

Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?

I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Arielle83

Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.

Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!

In other words, you’re moving too fast.

I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.

It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.

Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?

You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it down

Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?

I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.

click to expand

i could be completely old fashioned here but to me that sounds like you want to be in an exclusive relationship? i'm not saying that's what you shouldn't want but it seems like you are dancing around admitting it to yourself?

Hey girl, I'm a Taurus female dating a Taurus man, and I would say I "rushed" My guy, I have to say for us it worked out.

Here's what I think happened in this situation...you were not being clear!

Most Taurus men I know want a relationship, they take it slow but if they are giving you time, they are interested. You need to chill out (as people know here, I don't always do that lol)

Mistake 1) you made it seem like you were just interested in sex with him...that was probably a red flag to him. You didn't make it seem like you were interested in a relationship so his response of "let's see where it goes" was him responding to you're disinterest.

Mistake 2) you left. In the middle of the night?! Da faq...you even said you were cuddled in his arms and left?

Wow I would feel so rejected and hurt after that.

Posted by Boots1313

Hey girl, I'm a Taurus female dating a Taurus man, and I would say I "rushed" My guy, I have to say for us it worked out.

Here's what I think happened in this situation...you were not being clear!

Most Taurus men I know want a relationship, they take it slow but if they are giving you time, they are interested. You need to chill out (as people know here, I don't always do that lol)

Mistake 1) you made it seem like you were just interested in sex with him...that was probably a red flag to him. You didn't make it seem like you were interested in a relationship so his response of "let's see where it goes" was him responding to you're disinterest.

Mistake 2) you left. In the middle of the night?! Da faq...you even said you were cuddled in his arms and left?

Wow I would feel so rejected and hurt after that.

Hi, thank you for your comment. I should clarify that he knew I was going to leave and not spend the night as his, because I had to work the next morning so I needed to sleep at home. The same happened the previous time we slept together and I explained to him why I could not spend the night at his and everything was absolutely fine. So leaving "in the middle of the night" was fine per se, just the way I did it was a bit awkward I think.

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Boots1313

Hey girl, I'm a Taurus female dating a Taurus man, and I would say I "rushed" My guy, I have to say for us it worked out.

Here's what I think happened in this situation...you were not being clear!

Most Taurus men I know want a relationship, they take it slow but if they are giving you time, they are interested. You need to chill out (as people know here, I don't always do that lol)

Mistake 1) you made it seem like you were just interested in sex with him...that was probably a red flag to him. You didn't make it seem like you were interested in a relationship so his response of "let's see where it goes" was him responding to you're disinterest.

Mistake 2) you left. In the middle of the night?! Da faq...you even said you were cuddled in his arms and left?

Wow I would feel so rejected and hurt after that.

Hi, thank you for your comment. I should clarify that he knew I was going to leave and not spend the night as his, because I had to work the next morning so I needed to sleep at home. The same happened the previous time we slept together and I explained to him why I could not spend the night at his and everything was absolutely fine. So leaving "in the middle of the night" was fine per se, just the way I did it was a bit awkward I think.

click to expand

Okay, thank you for clarifying. It sounded like you were upset and just left.

Communication is key.

I have confronted my bull a lot about what I want/need/ and my intentions. Sometimes they were embarrassing and other times we got into some fights about it, but ultimately we compromised to found what works for both of us.

We went exclusive after 4 weeks of dating, so I dont think your clarification at 6 weeks is crazy.

You said you havent heard from him Since that night...have you reached out? If not do it...

Posted by ondasp

I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.

This is NOT what you indicate in your first post. "when in fact I just wanted to be reassured that I am not one of many girls in his roster." And there is nothing wrong with what you want, but you can't sit there and pretend and tell him what you think he wants to hear to keep him.

The entire thread, up until this response, is basically a facade. It's you pretending to be okay with him potentially dating other people, so long as "you" are the only one that is receiving sex. You can't demand that if you are only dating, and not exclusively. Especially given that you didn't set this precedent, prior to initially having sex with him. You can request it, but he doesn't have to make the choice to do so because you never required it from the start. Only when, you two have agreed to be exclusive, can you demand it.

At this point, you have done yourself no favors in continuing to have sexual relations with him. As a matter of fact, you continue to do so, and bend to what he wants, without putting up any form of argument. You have essentially made yourself a doormat. What he wants, he can take, with no consequences. And you, are the only person that will end up hurt, and on the short end of the stick. Because you fail to value yourself more, then to allow a man into your body.

Six physical dates, and out of those four times sex has been the outcome. That means, 2/3rd of your dates wind up with you in bed.

OP, what are his other planets?

dont overthink it, you both said you are not dating/sleeping with anybody else, so why the panic? you asked if he is sleeping with anybody else, he said no.... why his answer to your strait question freaks you out?

let him come to you

everything is fine if you stay calm and dont overreact

dont start the panic

if he is put off by that conversation and will not reach out, you will know what to think..... but its only 2 days, so chill

Posted by Pandora101

OP, what are his other planets?

dont overthink it, you both said you are not dating/sleeping with anybody else, so why the panic? you asked if he is sleeping with anybody else, he said no.... why his answer to your strait question freaks you out?

let him come to you

everything is fine if you stay calm and dont overreact

dont start the panic

if he is put off by that conversation and will not reach out, you will know what to think..... but its only 2 days, so chill

Hi, thank you for your kind words. You made me feel a bit better! I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today..

His other planets are:

Moon: Gemini

Mercury: Taurus

Venus: Aries

Mars: Gemini

Posted by Superman77

Posted by jeane

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by ondasp

Posted by Arielle83

Under 3 months there shouldn’t be a commitment.

Says who..? I wasn't aware of this universal rule!

In other words, you’re moving too fast.

I wasn’t aware u needed to be exclusive after 6 weeks.

It’s called dating. You try ppl on and learn about them to see who fits. You’re putting it all in one basket and then getting upset when u realise the guy was dating other ppl. If you get attached through sex, then hold back and see who really does fit before u bring ur kitty into the game and expect his unwrapped divk to just invade u.

Sounds like you need to lock down the d game too quick. When men don’t do that. Why would he just be with u when he can get it from others as well?

You gotta wonder what u bring to the table. Every woman has a kitty. Hold back a bit if sex makes u need to lock it down

Lol this has nothing to do with "my kitty". And I'd like to think that a man wants to spend time with me for more reasons than just my "kitty", and equally I don't date a man just because of his penis..?

I just don't want to date someone who is simultaneously dating other people. I like to focus on one person at a time to give it a proper chance, and then if it does not work we move on. I expect the same treatment. I appreciate this is not everyone's view, but that is what I am comfortable with.

i could be completely old fashioned here but to me that sounds like you want to be in an exclusive relationship? i'm not saying that's what you shouldn't want but it seems like you are dancing around admitting it to yourself?

That’s what I got from it as well

click to expand

Yup, that's what I read too.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

I've been there before, the energy shift from a Taurus is strong sometimes even when they don't say a word, you can sense it. You shouldn't have to feel wrong for not feeling comfortable in him having multiple partners when you prefer exclusivity.

The way you went about it could've been better but at the end of the day, if he is only with you and only wants to be with you then he wouldn't have been bothered by the comment. It would be a given. To me, signs of discomfort or awkwardness at the topic of exclusivity is either he is not there yet or there is someone else.

Perhaps he is not there yet, so it would be a good time for communication and clarity. Even if he has issues with a condom, protect yourself FIRST. You should both be on the same page in terms of exclusivity before you start offering to go raw, forget the guy, you can expose yourself to STDs if you don't protect yourself. If he has "issues" with condoms with you, he has "issues" with condoms with someone else. Protect yourself first.

If you can't even have a conversation about exclusivity, he shouldn't tap it and not wrap it, imo.

Posted by wildflower

I've been there before, the energy shift from a Taurus is strong sometimes even when they don't say a word, you can sense it. You shouldn't have to feel wrong for not feeling comfortable in him having multiple partners when you prefer exclusivity.

The way you went about it could've been better but at the end of the day, if he is only with you and only wants to be with you then he wouldn't have been bothered by the comment. It would be a given. To me, signs of discomfort or awkwardness at the topic of exclusivity is either he is not there yet or there is someone else.

Perhaps he is not there yet, so it would be a good time for communication and clarity. Even if he has issues with a condom, protect yourself FIRST. You should both be on the same page in terms of exclusivity before you start offering to go raw, forget the guy, you can expose yourself to STDs if you don't protect yourself. If he has "issues" with condoms with you, he has "issues" with condoms with someone else. Protect yourself first.

If you can't even have a conversation about exclusivity, he shouldn't tap it and not wrap it, imo.

Absolutely, my comment about getting tested and going condom-free was about a potential distant future, not right now or anytime soon!

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

click to expand

STFU 😆

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

click to expand

whaaaa?

Posted by wildflower

I've been there before, the energy shift from a Taurus is strong sometimes even when they don't say a word, you can sense it. You shouldn't have to feel wrong for not feeling comfortable in him having multiple partners when you prefer exclusivity.

The way you went about it could've been better but at the end of the day, if he is only with you and only wants to be with you then he wouldn't have been bothered by the comment. It would be a given. To me, signs of discomfort or awkwardness at the topic of exclusivity is either he is not there yet or there is someone else.

Perhaps he is not there yet, so it would be a good time for communication and clarity. Even if he has issues with a condom, protect yourself FIRST. You should both be on the same page in terms of exclusivity before you start offering to go raw, forget the guy, you can expose yourself to STDs if you don't protect yourself. If he has "issues" with condoms with you, he has "issues" with condoms with someone else. Protect yourself first.

If you can't even have a conversation about exclusivity, he shouldn't tap it and not wrap it, imo.

great advice....especially around protection...

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

whaaaa?

click to expand

"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "

I was being ironic. LOL

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

whaaaa?

"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "

I was being ironic. LOL

click to expand

maybe a little less strong/direct than that....

actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

whaaaa?

"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "

I was being ironic. LOL

maybe a little less strong/direct than that....

actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....

click to expand

The bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.

Weirdos. lol

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

whaaaa?

"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "

I was being ironic. LOL

maybe a little less strong/direct than that....

actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....

The bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.

Weirdos. lol

click to expand

we just know you're sweet and harmless beneath all that tough exterior and aggression....

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

STFU 😆

whaaaa?

"but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs.... "

I was being ironic. LOL

maybe a little less strong/direct than that....

actually, no, I kinda like that lmao....

The bull dude that was in love with me, I seriously think he is a sadomasochist. I would verbally abuse the SHIT out of him constantly. He would constantly be like "yea, talk dirty to me bb". No matter how troll I got, he thought it was cute.

Weirdos. lol

we just know you're sweet and harmless beneath all that tough exterior and aggression....

click to expand

"harmless"

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Waterbearerwearer



So much fear based appeasing. “If I tell him my boundaries he won’t like me” mentality

I see this a lot....especially on the taurus board....the women in relationships with bulls seem somewhat fearful, intimidated, too worried to lose them....then they don't speak up directly, often times when the dude really does seem to need to correct his behavior....I think its a recipe for becoming a doormat and this is really bad for bulls...they may even like that or indulge it on some level, as I think most have a domineering side, but will ultimately respect you more if you're strong/direct about your needs....

My experience with Bulls is that they respect you so much more when you’re direct.

They prefer linear communication and my ex April Bull was the staunchest/loyal af bad boy Iver ever encountered with heaps of earth in his chart and he applauded any women who spoke up and out with poise and sophistication.

Not many keeping it classy these days it’s bizaare.

click to expand

yes to all this....and yeah its pretty gross out there...

i havent had time to go through the other responses

but it sounds familair with convos i have with my bull

dont worry. its actually a very positive sign i saw there. and bulls are very sensitive with "moments getting killed"not because of you...but the situation. (but thats my experience)

like.....me and bull will have a greatt moment...then something occurs...a little malfunction...i tend to sometimes stay to linger too long dealing with it....he found a way to snap me out of it. cause he is better in going about it like "ahh fck that...letsmove on and forget about what just happen...dont let it kill the moment" hahaha

took awhile and yeah we bumped heads during the process but we both give and take

the fact that he said "lets see where is this is going"and for him to talk about doing things in the future

hellyeahhhh girl. dont worry to much. dont bring it up again.............i know this sounds weird but just let that moment for what it was

and noooo i think he liked you asking but he might have been also a little "hurt" but not cause you asked but problably because he is serious about you . but if he realllllly likes you what i think. then he will think about it. and if he is anything like my bull......and he sounds like alot like it, then he will actually LIKE that you asked that and are carefull

the fact that you brought up the possibility of not using a condom once he is tested...ha! thats awesome actually

and you know what, when he brings it up again...suggest you both go and do it together!

trust!!!

veryyyy important

true they do go slowwww

but its a great thing!

my bull can get veryyyyyyyy cold at moments when he gets closer to me

then i just let him deal with it himself .......i dont stop with how i approach him ...i actually keep showering him with affection. i just dont push him...you know what i mean. i dont like pushing things anyway so its not me in general

but i find it sooooo awesome ....he takes time and doesnt jump into things

cause it means that once he does........its a well thought action and decision and that he is being real

love it

embrace the bull way sweety and if it growss.....ohhhhh the love and devotionnnnnnn

mindblowinggggg

dont push him away

just avoid that convo for now...and let him come with that

but dont stop communication

good luck

Posted by ondasp

Hi all, I am feeling a bit down and I'd love some perspective on the situation I am currently dealing with.

I met this Taurus sun/ Taurus rising 6 weeks ago. We had 6 dates, all went really well, loads of chemistry and laughter. We slept together 3 times. Plenty of daily texting in between dates, which he mostly initiated. I thought he was really keen on me. I am also Taurus sun, but my Scorpio moon and Gemini rising make me an unusual Taurus I think.

Yesterday we had a great 6th date, we stayed out for drinks and we had a lovely time. He kept hinting at things to do together in the future (like watching a theater play). We went back to his and then I playfully approached the subject of sleeping with other people, as I felt that after sleeping together 3 times (today was the third time) I did not feel comfortable with the possibility of him sleeping with other women, while he was sleeping with me regularly. He also has issues with condoms, so I said if he gets tested we could consider going condom-free, since I am on the pill.

I made it quite clear that I was not asking about relationship exclusivity, just sex exclusivity. Also, I raised the subject partially because I was tipsy, the conversation definitely wasn't planned.

He said he was not sleeping with anyone else and that he thought we should see "where this thing between us goes". Then he initiated sex again, just to lose an erection as soon as he put the condom on. He then blamed the conversation about sex we just had, as he said it was "playing on his mind". Then he said he wanted me to sleep over and just cuddle.

I woke up at 2am in his bed (and in his arms) and got dressed and left (I need to go to work tomorrow). We said goodbye but it felt really awkward and I somehow had the impression that the conversation ruined everything between us.

To be honest, I don't like the way this exchange made me feel and I don't think this bodes well for the future. I don't think that asking whether he is sleeping with other people 6 weeks in is an outrageous thing to do? I know Tauruses move slowly, and I think he might feel like I was trying to push him into a relationship, when in fact I just wanted to be reassured that I am not one of many girls in his roster.

Should I think that he just isn't that into me? This happened the night before yesterday, and I haven't heard from him ever since.

Firstly, I think you need to be clear with exactly what it is that YOU want. Either from life in general right now and also from this fella.

Six dates in but having sex from date four is quite soon. It's soon because this has happened before you've asked him what it is he is looking for and before you've checked whether you're a match, or not.

You said in your post that you're looking for sexual exclusivity but not a relationship. That's fine, if that's what it is that makes you happy right now or if that's all you are able to commit too. That sounds like you want a fuck buddy/FWB type situation. However, later on in your posts it sounds like you don't actually want this and you want a relationship.

I don't think you're being honest or clear with yourself regarding what it is you want. This will cause you the problems you're having right now.

Did you ask this fella at the start what he is looking for from his dating?

Is it a FWB? Casual hook ups? Something more long term? He doesn't know what he wants? Which is it?

Whatever he wants from this needs to match whatever you want. If it doesn't match then it's going to be a hard task in trying to make it match. It's not going to work. For example, if he's looking for casual hook ups but you're looking for an exclusive FWB situation then he's unlikely to give up the possibility of sticking his dick in many different pussys, with the probability of sticking it in without protection, in favour of only sticking it in your pussy. You're unlikely to get what you want. It's not a match. It won't make you happy. Same if you want a relationship but he only wants sex. It's a recipe for disaster. You can hold onto it hoping he'll change his mind but it is unlikely. Very occasionally these situations have a favourable outcome but they are exceptions, not the rule.

The 'let's see where it goes' doesn't seem to be making you happy so you have only two options here. You either stick with it and invest yourself and time into this to see where it goes and all the while when it is not going where you want it to go you will be more frustrated, more disillusioned, more committed, more deeply involved with someone who was not on the same page as you from day one and because you were too quick to jump into bed with him yet too shy to state what you wanted and to ask him what he wanted.

Option two would be to avoid all the heart ache and find someone who wants what you want and who you can invest yourself and time into to build something worthwhile, something that does make you happy.

Im not saying it won't work out the way you want with this guy. I'm just pointing out some major factors that are at play here.

The other thing to watch out for are guys who complain about the use of condoms in a bid to have sex without them. There are guys out there who have little to no self respect for themselves and others. They will try it on and, unfortunately, they will succeed. Of course, sex without a condom is a considerable intimate act that should only happen in the right circumstances. I'm sure it does feel much better all round without a condom but any guy worth his salt would never make such a complaint and especially when in the moment, because he respects himself, respects the lady he is with, and is happy to be having sex in the first place. I'd find it a turn off. I'm not saying this is what he is doing. I'm just saying to be aware of it.