Self sabotage

Ok here is the deal.

I have this friend for years. She is loving, kind, considerate, total giver. Strong personality empathic ex fucking model 44 years old. She is a single mother with a few friends she cares about( myself included).

Now the man of her dreams pops up and attracted to her as she is now. Amazing first date total firework. Oh ya makes 6 figures, does yoga, hikes, 2 daughters, very expressive and cheerful person. In his late 40s but would sweep 75% of woman on this planet off their feet. Romance book shit. The catch lives 300 miles away. Again if things go well she moves doen there in his mansion with his celebrity neighbors who drop by all the time. No fucking joke!!!

Oh ya he is really into her and has a very spiritual patient state of mind.

She is freaking the fuck out and had a real panic attack over this. Says she is more damaged then she thinks because of her freaking out. Talked herself into dating a bit...refusing to fall hard for this guy. Yet getting to close or at least too much time with a current prospect.

I talked to you over text and explained what she is doing and she agreed and even acknowledged everything she had she is happy about. She is afraid of rocking her boat. I see it as a addition. So ladies. . put yourself in her shoes, How would you like me to slap some sense into you? Do you need slapping? or let you play this out?

Yes I'm dead serious. This is fucking real. I think I'm getting mad at her over this.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

She has kids to think about, not only herself. At 44 years old she probably knows better than to let some guy come swoop her off her feet, uproot her kids and her whole life without really knowing what she is getting into. If she feels even the slightest bit of hesitation, it’s probably for good reason and she is smart to listen to it.

If she didn’t have kids it would be a different story. I would encourage her to take risks. But she’s a package deal, therefore her life will revolve around those kids. Not Mr. Right Now Charming.

Yes package deal goes without saying. She knows what she wants and is a good judge. Super high potential here.

Yes she already stated a year courtship before she even thinks about moving. He came here and now wants her to visit. Lol Guess who the baby sitter is?

She is following the milestones as any parent should. You do not introduce your children until at least exclusive stage. If you start as friends first, no PDA until serious stage.

If I see a possible issue I nip it in the bud. Maybe I'm jumping the gun. Consider it being being prepared just in case further down the road.

Posted by Hypnotoad

It's why I have been tying loose ends and simplifying my life and relationships. This is a quality I like and want to keep without taking on too much that isn't worth the effort. Also why I asked for advice here in the powder room on this. I recognize I overstep at times.

I’d worry more about the children .... is their father still in their life in case their mother loses her head in some way over this bloke?

What is exactly a tragedy here? Is anybody laying on the street in pool of blood?

Tell her to o nothing and lose him to her stupidity and done!

OR maybe she is feeling deep inside intuitively that he is full of shit?

Why is someone else need to figure out this for an ADULT unless an adult is mentally disabled?

"Talked herself into dating a bit...refusing to fall hard for this guy. Yet getting to close or at least too much time with a current prospect."

^^^^I don't understand the above....is she getting too close to another guy? Is that you? 😉

No matter how good someone is "on paper", he could be wrong for her on many other levels. Let her question her future with him, every single day, anxiety or not! Better sooner rather than later, after she quit her job, her local friends and uprooted herself and her child. Is she even in love with this guy....?

I put myself more into his shoes (without the wealth and celebrity friends, lol). This is because my last relationship was with someone who also lived 300 miles away. He started to sabotaje the relationship about the time I asked him to come live with me. As much as he upset me, I understand.

Posted by Undine

"Talked herself into dating a bit...refusing to fall hard for this guy. Yet getting to close or at least too much time with a current prospect."

^^^^I don't understand the above....is she getting too close to another guy? Is that you? 😉

No matter how good someone is "on paper", he could be wrong for her on many other levels. Let her question her future with him, every single day, anxiety or not! Better sooner rather than later, after she quit her job, her local friends and uprooted herself and her child. Is she even in love with this guy....?

I put myself more into his shoes (without the wealth and celebrity friends, lol). This is because my last relationship was with someone who also lived 300 miles away. He started to sabotaje the relationship about the time I asked him to come live with me. As much as he upset me, I understand.

The other guy is a "ok" guy. The Mr.right gives her some serious sparks and feelings. We talked about it last night. She has calmed down.

As for me, I am her best friend. This guy is basically a alternate version of me 15 years older with the twist of having a life on wall street and investment firms and fully expressed personality. So she is getting what she always wanted with this guy. I would like to see this happen for her.

Before you ask. the answer is, I've already committed to someone who is unavailable atm. I'm locked on and done looking. I'm ok with this for the time being and want to see this through.

I'm not getting into a serious relationship with someone else until this is explored or the tower falls.

She has two blokes on the go?

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

click to expand

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

click to expand

Yeah, I agree. I don’t understand either how do you find the time with children. They should be a priority.

I don’t have any, so it is easier to find the time for everything else. But I am sure many women somehow manage it all. Superwomen!

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

click to expand

Lol Schools out. Kids are 9-11 and she has a trusted babysitter...me

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

click to expand

One is 300 miles away. She only needs time for 1 man in her life and she's dating the one that's close.

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

One is 300 miles away. She only needs time for 1 man in her life and she's dating the one that's close.

click to expand

Time will tell

lol

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

Lol Schools out. Kids are 9-11 and she has a trusted babysitter...me

click to expand

Wow you’re a good friend

Does she work??

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

Yeah, I agree. I don’t understand either how do you find the time with children. They should be a priority.

I don’t have any, so it is easier to find the time for everything else. But I am sure many women somehow manage it all. Superwomen!

click to expand

Hmmm

Not sure about Superwoman?

Something has to give?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

Lol Schools out. Kids are 9-11 and she has a trusted babysitter...me

Wow you’re a good friend

Does she work??

click to expand

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by MyStarsShine

She has two blokes on the go?

It’s the new trend 😉

Am going out for “coffee” with pharmacist guy now, while Leo is at work! Lol

But she has kids!

How does she find the time?

They’re a full time job. 🥴

Lol Schools out. Kids are 9-11 and she has a trusted babysitter...me

Wow you’re a good friend

Does she work??

from home...comission billing. Kids home schooled because a medical issues of the youngest.

click to expand

Gosh, she’s busy!

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

click to expand

But you are the one saying they are getting closer. 2 dates? That's nothing.

But if he's a better fit, why does it matter? Some women are fine with a man who will be there for them instead of being in an empty house with a busy man.

She will make the choice that's right for her, whatever the circumstance is.

You seem to be more invested in the dude who has money. Not every woman cares about that. And if she's meeting these types of guys, usually, she will draw in others of the same caliber.

What exactly is she sabotaging? In your opinion?

If she doesn't see the 300 mile guy often and she has no current plans to move in with him, then she's doing good for herself by not over fantasizing the situation.

Her dating to find a partner isn't sabotaging.

Ok maybe its just me but I think he might be doing the oversell and that's always a bit cringe and red flaggy. Who brags about themselves having celebrity neighbors on a first date when they should be getting to know you... if they are really interested.

Idk if I am just jaded or overexposed, using celebrities as a flex point in kinda lame. The lamest actually. When someone leads with making their life sound perfect its definitely dear john vibes. Dude is 300 miles away. Or is he?

That Dear John series was fun tho. He's a veteran doctor who makes you smoothies every day. But really is a druggie unemployed and camping in his sisters mobile home. Good times.

Those guys are always "too good to be true" and target financially successful lonely single moms. Easy to play a character from 300 miles away. She's right to be cautious especially pursuing something long distance.

@Lostthoughts

Do you have feelings for your friend?

Also what kinda well adjusted successful human being would rush to have someone they are talking too 300 miles away and met 1x move in with them. That's a bit fast and honestly psychotic.

After dating exclusively and travelling back and forth meeting up, sure. But after only one date? Super love bombing and red flags to talk about blending families and moving in together.

When someone love bombs they are rushing to get you emotionally hooked before you discover all the shitty parts about them. So what is he hiding.

Its been however long for her since she last dated and even her spidey senses are tingling. You should encourage her to trust her intuition.

Men always expect loyalty with no title.

Previous women have been spoiling you.

Cause without a title, a woman is SINGLE and can MINGLE anyway she chooses to.

Posted by MyStarsShine

@Lostthoughts

Do you have feelings for your friend?

The truth?, definitely soul mates. We are very supportive of each other in personal development and in life. There is genuine feelings and affection. Over all good compatibility and long term marriage or friendship comes natural. Astro wise, Moon-Venus and mars-moon moon-jupiter conjuctions. By all accounts excellent compatibility for marriage.

We get murky twice a year for the last 5 years for good reason. Nothing got off the ground because a mis match of a few core values in the past.

However again. Locked onto someone else. A different kind of connection. She has been though enough, I will not interfer with happiness with Mr. Right while I work this other out.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ok maybe its just me but I think he might be doing the oversell and that's always a bit cringe and red flaggy. Who brags about themselves having celebrity neighbors on a first date when they should be getting to know you... if they are really interested.

Idk if I am just jaded or overexposed, using celebrities as a flex point in kinda lame. The lamest actually. When someone leads with making their life sound perfect its definitely dear john vibes. Dude is 300 miles away. Or is he?

That Dear John series was fun tho. He's a veteran doctor who makes you smoothies every day. But really is a druggie unemployed and camping in his sisters mobile home. Good times.

Those guys are always "too good to be true" and target financially successful lonely single moms. Easy to play a character from 300 miles away. She's right to be cautious especially pursuing something long distance.

You are jaded. Caution is warranted only for the fact it's something that has to be hashed out eventually. However she is willing should things get serious enough and he has the means and ability to facilitate.

It's going to depend on their mutual level of attachment being backed up with investment.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by MyStarsShine

@Lostthoughts

Do you have feelings for your friend?

The truth?, definitely soul mates. We are very supportive of each other in personal development and in life. There is genuine feelings and affection. Over all good compatibility and long term marriage or friendship comes natural. Astro wise, Moon-Venus and mars-moon moon-jupiter conjuctions. By all accounts excellent compatibility for marriage.

We get murky twice a year for the last 5 years for good reason. Nothing got off the ground because a mis match of a few core values in the past.

However again. Locked onto someone else. A different kind of connection. She has been though enough, I will not interfer with happiness with Mr. Right while I work this other out.

click to expand

Do the few core values outweigh the positives?

Do you think you’ll end up together?

Posted by Kuromi

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ok maybe its just me but I think he might be doing the oversell and that's always a bit cringe and red flaggy. Who brags about themselves having celebrity neighbors on a first date when they should be getting to know you... if they are really interested.

Idk if I am just jaded or overexposed, using celebrities as a flex point in kinda lame. The lamest actually. When someone leads with making their life sound perfect its definitely dear john vibes. Dude is 300 miles away. Or is he?

That Dear John series was fun tho. He's a veteran doctor who makes you smoothies every day. But really is a druggie unemployed and camping in his sisters mobile home. Good times.

Those guys are always "too good to be true" and target financially successful lonely single moms. Easy to play a character from 300 miles away. She's right to be cautious especially pursuing something long distance.

Always in scrubs in public 😂😂😂😂😂

I loved that season with Eric bana

click to expand

Same! He plays scary sexy very believable. Too believable.

just let her ride this out. as someone whose been self-sabotaging lately, i just really need to conduct my security check and i'd be back to delusional bliss.

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

But let’s throw drama into life!

Otherwise she would just be a regular broad long distance dating!

If he is so into her as described - HE would console his Queen and make her at ease…unless she is just a regular psycho saboteur and in this case who TF cares!

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

click to expand

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

click to expand

I’ve known several women put so much energy into being with a man, the kids get shoved to the side

Disgraceful 😤

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

I’ve known several women put so much energy into being with a man, the kids get shoved to the side

Disgraceful 😤

click to expand

I know those as well but this one is putting energy into a foam! There is NOTHING! 2 dates!

Building sand castle? Why? Because he is a meal ticket who seems could be had?

It’s all bloody mess. 2 dates! For mother with children. How is she functioning now?

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

I’ve known several women put so much energy into being with a man, the kids get shoved to the side

Disgraceful 😤

Kids often get pushed to the side ... When daddy wants to be the first on the roller coaster at Legoland.

click to expand

Lol! You are on a rollercoaster roll n ride lately 😎😁

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ok maybe its just me but I think he might be doing the oversell and that's always a bit cringe and red flaggy. Who brags about themselves having celebrity neighbors on a first date when they should be getting to know you... if they are really interested.

Idk if I am just jaded or overexposed, using celebrities as a flex point in kinda lame. The lamest actually. When someone leads with making their life sound perfect its definitely dear john vibes. Dude is 300 miles away. Or is he?

That Dear John series was fun tho. He's a veteran doctor who makes you smoothies every day. But really is a druggie unemployed and camping in his sisters mobile home. Good times.

Those guys are always "too good to be true" and target financially successful lonely single moms. Easy to play a character from 300 miles away. She's right to be cautious especially pursuing something long distance.

Nope not a flex. It's more like it is what it is and he thinks nothing of it. She found out indirectly through a mutual friend who is facilitated the set up.

You are jaded. Caution is warranted only for the fact it's something that has to be hashed out eventually. However she is willing should things get serious enough and he has the means and ability to facilitate.

It's going to depend on their mutual level of attachment being backed up with investment.

click to expand

Lol you should've led with the fact they have mutual friends in common. The way you worded things in your op seemed like he was a stranger who bragged about material items.

Nothing is serious when its long distance like that. Talk is just talk. Hopefully he can put his money where his mouth is and make time to travel to her and see her in person.

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

But let’s throw drama into life!

Otherwise she would just be a regular broad long distance dating!

If he is so into her as described - HE would console his Queen and make her at ease…unless she is just a regular psycho saboteur and in this case who TF cares!

click to expand

I thought she was having issues AFTER she moved in, I was gonna say the same thing, that guy should be consoling her. But right now it's just pipe dreams and fantasy lol

I don't believe anything until I see it!

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

click to expand

What are you talking about woman! 2 dates??!! They are already Married! 😛

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemiMay

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by saggurl88

How do you know that she's spending too much time with the new prospect? And why does that even matter if things are going well with her dream guy 300 miles away?

Nothing really matters until words lead to actions with the dream guy. That dude is long distance, and until she is moving in, she should keep dating.

Waiting on a man doesn't get people far. A man can say anything.

they have gone on 2 dates. Both know what they want and in a partner at this point in their life. Thet understand themselves. They click on every level.

Now comes the mental joust of ego and egos.

Perhaps I should say "seeing"

Also dating as a parent is completely different. You schedule dates and times out. Kids come first. You don't mess around when it comes to potential long term partners. Once a week a couple times a month and phone calls and texting.

HOLLY SHIT!!!

TWO (2!!!!!!!) dates and she is already destroyed?

How TF is she mothering those children—

Did he asked her to MOVE IN? After 2 dates? What is he - an Aries— Even then - 2 dates and so much talk about this…NOTHING?

You both are NUTS!

I’ve known several women put so much energy into being with a man, the kids get shoved to the side

Disgraceful 😤

I know those as well but this one is putting energy into a foam! There is NOTHING! 2 dates!

Building sand castle? Why? Because he is a meal ticket who seems could be had?

It’s all bloody mess. 2 dates! For mother with children. How is she functioning now?

click to expand

Reading your comments in this thread drops my confidence in humanity.

Reread my everything I wrote in this thread. You are clearly missing some key parts.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ok maybe its just me but I think he might be doing the oversell and that's always a bit cringe and red flaggy. Who brags about themselves having celebrity neighbors on a first date when they should be getting to know you... if they are really interested.

Idk if I am just jaded or overexposed, using celebrities as a flex point in kinda lame. The lamest actually. When someone leads with making their life sound perfect its definitely dear john vibes. Dude is 300 miles away. Or is he?

That Dear John series was fun tho. He's a veteran doctor who makes you smoothies every day. But really is a druggie unemployed and camping in his sisters mobile home. Good times.

Those guys are always "too good to be true" and target financially successful lonely single moms. Easy to play a character from 300 miles away. She's right to be cautious especially pursuing something long distance.

Nope not a flex. It's more like it is what it is and he thinks nothing of it. She found out indirectly through a mutual friend who is facilitated the set up.

You are jaded. Caution is warranted only for the fact it's something that has to be hashed out eventually. However she is willing should things get serious enough and he has the means and ability to facilitate.

It's going to depend on their mutual level of attachment being backed up with investment.

Lol you should've led with the fact they have mutual friends in common. The way you worded things in your op seemed like he was a stranger who bragged about material items.

Nothing is serious when its long distance like that. Talk is just talk. Hopefully he can put his money where his mouth is and make time to travel to her and see her in person.

click to expand

Yes. If he is serious he needs to. No not bragging. Dudes a sag, it not bragging and is closed mouth about his income. Most info is through mutual friend. She is putting her kids first. However my issue is how closed minded she is to this.

This isn't about his material success. she is for the most part, happy and greatful for what she does have.

Since she was 30 she has wanted a complete family and married. Her ex was rushed married in 6 months and checked all the external boxes.then all his issues came out. lol That went badly.

Look guys you are judging really hard. It's not as negative as you all think. Hence why I feel this is her self sabotaging.