81gems
@81gems
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 4 · Posts: 606 · Topics: 26
A married virgo woman, cheating & unfaithful—
Posted by bittercupcakeThey are both trapped. She sounds like she's wanted out for awhile and so has 0 fucks left to give.
swim away fishy....this ones a dud... i can understand the need to stay due to religious expectations, but at one point when is it ok..?
5 dudes is a lot. And you should know that women always lie about the number of dudes they've slept with, the real number is much bigger.
How sure are you that your kid is actually yours?
How sure are you that your kid is actually yours?
Posted by LadyNeptune
5 dudes is a lot. And you should know that women always lie about the number of dudes they've slept with, the real number is much bigger.
How sure are you that your kid is actually yours?
No doubt abt it!
Posted by LushActually, I have given her ONLY this chance now, I have forgiven her, but I had to slap her severely FOR THE FIRST TIME, when I followed up her routines and caught her red handed, I forced her to leave her office job; SHE DID, and I compelled her to tell her parents about it, the whole truth, she did, and may be her parents will have to do something about her, perhaps warn her once and for all.
If you've given her so many chances you either have to accept her for who she is, and it's up to her to change her ways because she isn't changing for you, or you part ways.
Take your pick.
Also, children are smart, so even if you think you are "hiding" your problems your child will see right through it and then your child is learning that all this is 'normal and acceptable' behavior.
About my little girl, she's only 2yrs old, and I love her too much for me to part ways for some time with my wife.
And another thing, I have never cheated on my wife, ever since we were still "engaged", and then we married, I discovered she betrayed our marriage with those men after we got married, but as you said the NUMBER could be bigger.
Posted by bittercupcake
swim away fishy....this ones a dud... i can understand the need to stay due to religious expectations, but at one point when is it ok..?
Really tempting, for the first time in my life when I look at her when I discovered this horrible secret of her, I didn't see that beautiful and hot figure I fell in love with, but this unfaithful and careless woman, I was really tempted to find another girl to somehow "make me feel" that first sexual passion fireworks I really loved to feel, but hey, I need to take it slower, my reputation as well as wellbeing of my family to not be affected.
Posted by Happy_AquaPosted by HiccupI understand why you say this but don't do it. Don't drag someone else into this, but solve your own problems first. Someone else can make you feel that passion shortly, maybe, but it won't solve your problems in the long term.Posted by bittercupcake
swim away fishy....this ones a dud... i can understand the need to stay due to religious expectations, but at one point when is it ok..?
Really tempting, for the first time in my life when I look at her when I discovered this horrible secret of her, I didn't see that beautiful and hot figure I fell in love with, but this unfaithful and careless woman, I was really tempted to find another girl to somehow "make me feel" that first sexual passion fireworks I really loved to feel, but hey, I need to take it slower, my reputation as well as wellbeing of my family to not be affected.
Your wife is obviously not happy in this marriage...she would not seek out other men's company if this marriage would fulfill all her needs, right? Did you two talk about the reason why she is cheating on you?
What struck me was this sentence you wrote about how she reacted when you found out: "now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
This to me seems like she is challenging you to end the relationship you have with her. Like she doesn't want to make the decision herself but is trying to make you do so by her inappropriate behaviour. I could be wrong of course.
Personally I think you have put up with quite a lot. Of course that is also because you have a child, you can not just walk away from that. Because of all the circumstances (your families, the church marriage, your child) it's not so easy to decide what to do. But your wife seems to have given up on your marriage.
Maybe you should just ask yourself if this situation will make you happy in the long run. If it doesn't, well, then maybe it is time to see what options you both have? If it is too late for forgiveness, maybe a seperation is worth considering?
Just want to wish you lots of strength and wisdom.
click to expand
Thanks a lot Happy_Aqua for ur advice and insight.
The thing is, I would say she still into this marriage and she would love to continue, even our sex life, on my side, I never see if we have any problems, because I have been doing it so perfectly & wonderfully for her, whenever we do it (am not boosting), I make sure at least I make her having that big O, and when I apply full throttle, I won't stop (in various style s of course) until she really insists she's tired, let's say we always get this warm not for less than 50 mins (not sure if that's too short or long time) but we go up.
Even I, have already asked her many times what compels her to go astray all those times, she replies its just desires and curiosity, and sometimes she even doesn't understand why she's doing it (Personally, I don't buy it, when I sense something's off, its off), and then she starts crying, but nowadays am not moved a bit when she cries. Altogether, our life is good, except for these mistakes I have discovered, our communication is nice and vibrant (before the last event), I also have taken her to various counselors in the Church, but I realized she might have a psychological problem for her to do all that (I MIGHT BE WRONG but that's the theory I have right now).
I won't have another woman, because the idea itself "scares" me, cause if I get another girl I fear I won't stop until I make her "my wife too".
Honestly you sound like the only things you put value on is the sex and how she looks.
You don't sound like someone who embraced her emotionally at all so I'm not surprised she strayed.
I think she's aware that the foundation of your relationship wasn't love ever so...water off both your backs.
You don't sound like someone who embraced her emotionally at all so I'm not surprised she strayed.
I think she's aware that the foundation of your relationship wasn't love ever so...water off both your backs.
Posted by HiccupI'm really curious how domineering you actually are.
"now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
Virgos are not subtle beings and our first recourse is to tell you straight up it's not working out anymore.
For a Virgo to not go down that path...there has to be fear involved. I mean you talked about kneeling. My guess is she knows you will absolutely not let her go and might lose it on her entirely if she ended things so she is taking an approach where she pushes you to break things off with her. You don't seem to want to do that and you're more concerned with her making it up to you somehow and stopping. She won't stop.
Her attitude, 2 guesses:
"I want out and he doesn't want to let me go so I will keep doing this til he takes it no more"
or
"LOL, he isn't going anywhere. I can have my cake and eat it too"
Yours:
"I am hurt but I don't want to let her go. If only she'd stop doing A, B, C. How do I get her to stop doing A, B,C?"
As for she is sleeping at night..really soundly and in peace. Once we feel justified for a call we make, we have zero remorse.
Posted by DamnataHaha, I missed u Damnata, back in 2015 u gave me some " niiice" insights about this!
Honestly you sound like the only things you put value on is the sex and how she looks.
You don't sound like someone who embraced her emotionally at all so I'm not surprised she strayed.
I think she's aware that the foundation of your relationship wasn't love ever so...water off both your backs.
To be honest, my foundation for her is 100% love, respect and caring, she has all of my attention, and IMO I believe am doing everything for her 100% , and I have never ever cheated on her....she has many weakness and attitudes "I don't like" which I would perhaps loved to have another girl to experience more "woman's attention, focus and total commitment", I have told her many things about ways to spice up our sex life, but there are other things (IMO pls) I think she's being too heavy to change and follow my lead, not only sexually, but other things in life....she really likes to be critical and sometimes frowning..... as a human being, these could be reasons to somehow "push me to think of having a sidekick ", but never did that.
If she can be courageous to go out because of some things which perhaps she doesn't like in me, will that be called faithfulness in her? Or, if I was the one having multiple affairs because I don't like some things about her, will I be rightful to do it?
Posted by HiccupYou are not.
and IMO I believe am doing everything for her 100%
You're in a fantasy if you believe that someone who would be fulfilled to the brim by their partner on all accounts would have the callous attitude of "am ready for anything!!". Do you think they would really play those odds at being discarded? They would be mad sneaky about all affairs...not nonchalant to the tune of "Oh well, come what may"
I'll put this here as well. Virgo women are into possessive men. You don't seem to be like that into her at all which pretty much validates her choices and now there's no chance she can respect you.
Posted by DamnataMeh!Posted by HiccupI'm really curious how domineering you actually are.
"now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
Virgos are not subtle beings and our first recourse is to tell you straight up it's not working out anymore.
For a Virgo to not go down that path...there has to be fear involved. I mean you talked about kneeling. My guess is she knows you will absolutely not let her go and might lose it on her entirely if she ended things so she is taking an approach where she pushes you to break things off with her. You don't seem to want to do that and you're more concerned with her making it up to you somehow and stopping. She won't stop.
Her attitude, 2 guesses:
"I want out and he doesn't want to let me go so I will keep doing this til he takes it no more"
As for she is sleeping at night..really soundly and in peace. Once we feel justified for a call we make, we have zero remorse.click to expand
So if I have understood you correctly, she doesn't feel enough to be committed to only me, and she isn't really committed to solve or talk things up with me whenever she feels things are off or she doesn't get enough? And because of that she decides to do it the way she thinks is right for her, not for US?
Posted by HiccupYup.Posted by DamnataMeh!Posted by HiccupI'm really curious how domineering you actually are.
"now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
Virgos are not subtle beings and our first recourse is to tell you straight up it's not working out anymore.
For a Virgo to not go down that path...there has to be fear involved. I mean you talked about kneeling. My guess is she knows you will absolutely not let her go and might lose it on her entirely if she ended things so she is taking an approach where she pushes you to break things off with her. You don't seem to want to do that and you're more concerned with her making it up to you somehow and stopping. She won't stop.
Her attitude, 2 guesses:
"I want out and he doesn't want to let me go so I will keep doing this til he takes it no more"
As for she is sleeping at night..really soundly and in peace. Once we feel justified for a call we make, we have zero remorse.
So if I have understood you correctly, she doesn't feel enough to be committed to only me, and she isn't really committed to solve or talk things up with me whenever she feels things are off or she doesn't get enough? And because of that she decides to do it the way she thinks is right for her, not for US?click to expand
As a Virgo woman, I admit I have a hard time apologizing because of my damn pride. However, I don't think cheating is a common thing in us virgoans and I'm quite surprised she has done it multiple times. Speaking only for myself (because I have met just a few virgo women), I reckon we take marriage very seriously since we are Earth signs, -like, c'mon, we take everything seriously-.
Um, I believe this has more to do with your wife being cruel than with your wife being a virgo. I'm really picky with my partners, but if I decide to be with someone that's it. And I think marriage is a big thing to us as well, so, yeah, you should dump her.
Um, I believe this has more to do with your wife being cruel than with your wife being a virgo. I'm really picky with my partners, but if I decide to be with someone that's it. And I think marriage is a big thing to us as well, so, yeah, you should dump her.
Posted by Happy_AquaM not so sure about her love life before I met her in 2012, but I understand she had multiple lovers before me, and with my understanding I hope I do everything for her, may be, just may be, there is something wrong in her sexual perception and understanding.Posted by HiccupPosted by Happy_AquaPosted by HiccupI understand why you say this but don't do it. Don't drag someone else into this, but solve your own problems first. Someone else can make you feel that passion shortly, maybe, but it won't solve your problems in the long term.Posted by bittercupcake
swim away fishy....this ones a dud... i can understand the need to stay due to religious expectations, but at one point when is it ok..?
Really tempting, for the first time in my life when I look at her when I discovered this horrible secret of her, I didn't see that beautiful and hot figure I fell in love with, but this unfaithful and careless woman, I was really tempted to find another girl to somehow "make me feel" that first sexual passion fireworks I really loved to feel, but hey, I need to take it slower, my reputation as well as wellbeing of my family to not be affected.
Your wife is obviously not happy in this marriage...she would not seek out other men's company if this marriage would fulfill all her needs, right? Did you two talk about the reason why she is cheating on you?
What struck me was this sentence you wrote about how she reacted when you found out: "now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
This to me seems like she is challenging you to end the relationship you have with her. Like she doesn't want to make the decision herself but is trying to make you do so by her inappropriate behaviour. I could be wrong of course.
Personally I think you have put up with quite a lot. Of course that is also because you have a child, you can not just walk away from that. Because of all the circumstances (your families, the church marriage, your child) it's not so easy to decide what to do. But your wife seems to have given up on your marriage.
Maybe you should just ask yourself if this situation will make you happy in the long run. If it doesn't, well, then maybe it is time to see what options you both have? If it is too late for forgiveness, maybe a seperation is worth considering?
Just want to wish you lots of strength and wisdom.
Thanks a lot Happy_Aqua for ur advice and insight.
The thing is, I would say she still into this marriage and she would love to continue, even our sex life, on my side, I never see if we have any problems, because I have been doing it so perfectly & wonderfully for her, whenever we do it (am not boosting), I make sure at least I make her having that big O, and when I apply full throttle, I won't stop (in various style s of course) until she really insists she's tired, let's say we always get this warm not for less than 50 mins (not sure if that's too short or long time) but we go up.
Even I, have already asked her many times what compels her to go astray all those times, she replies its just desires and curiosity, and sometimes she even doesn't understand why she's doing it (Personally, I don't buy it, when I sense something's off, its off), and then she starts crying, but nowadays am not moved a bit when she cries. Altogether, our life is good, except for these mistakes I have discovered, our communication is nice and vibrant (before the last event), I also have taken her to various counselors in the Church, but I realized she might have a psychological problem for her to do all that (I MIGHT BE WRONG but that's the theory I have right now).
I won't have another woman, because the idea itself "scares" me, cause if I get another girl I fear I won't stop until I make her "my wife too".
Well, if she's still committed to this marriage, and so are you, that's positive, right? And no, what you said doesn't come across as boasting.. I have been the lucky reciever of the love of a Pisces man and it was unforgettable and I know you guys know how to put a woman first in that department. So I believe you when you say you two get along great in the bedroom.
Sounds like the contact/straying with men outside your marriage fulfills some subconscious need your wife has. Maybe she hasn't had many experiences with men before you got married and she wants to know what she missed ? Maybe she just enjoys the attention other men give her? Just guessing here, of course.
I know this may be a bit personal, but is there no way to bring that into your marriage in a way that pleases you both? For example with role playing? Use your great Pisces imagination, get yourself some costumes, surprise her and “be”different men to her, play scenarios etc. It's fun too... Just a thought....
I mean, if that's preventing her from looking for thrills outside the marriage it could be worth a shot. Sorry I drew the wrong conclusion that your wife gave up on your marriage, Actually I'm glad I was wrong.
click to expand
I give her enough and reasonable surprises, am unpredictable, and may be you are right saying she would rather see some different scenarios or a different "me", but sacrificing my personality behavior for her satisfaction just to see me differently, it will be difficult, if she can't tune herself for me, as I do for her, I would rather " hunt" a Scorpion, Piscean or Cancer girl to blend myself in them....the thing that I can't do for sure, simply because, with my honor and respect, am committed to only one woman, just her.
Posted by DamnataPossessiveness! wow, so un-possessiveness push them to be unfaithful!Posted by HiccupI'll put this here as well. Virgo women are into possessive men. You don't seem to be like that into her at all which pretty much validates her choices and now there's no chance she can respect you.
and IMO I believe am doing everything for her 100%
click to expand
Am starting to believe that a bit, cause all men I have discovered sleeping with her, first, the evidences I got over them lead me to know they were so "commanding" over her, I dealt with them though, and I had her terminated from her job, for now I don't allow her to work anywhere until I say so.
Second, those men were so "advanced in years" over her, and both are older than me, with one more older than me!
So, Virgo women with possessiveness!!
Posted by virgodumbassThanks, I too believe there is something else, not because she's a Virgoan, because I have Virgo girl friends too, but I see distinct behaviors, she even has a Virgo sister, but they are quite different.
As a Virgo woman, I admit I have a hard time apologizing because of my damn pride. However, I don't think cheating is a common thing in us virgoans and I'm quite surprised she has done it multiple times. Speaking only for myself (because I have met just a few virgo women), I reckon we take marriage very seriously since we are Earth signs, -like, c'mon, we take everything seriously-.
Um, I believe this has more to do with your wife being cruel than with your wife being a virgo. I'm really picky with my partners, but if I decide to be with someone that's it. And I think marriage is a big thing to us as well, so, yeah, you should dump her.
Posted by HiccupUhm not what I said.
so un-possessiveness push them to be unfaithful!
For me personally there would be no cheating because I wouldn't fathom being in a partnership with a man that is easy breezy about that to begin with. We wouldn't be together.
"and I had her terminated from her job, for now I don't allow her to work anywhere until I say so."
Yeah, she is waiting for you to be fed up and let her go because you're a controlling lunatic and she's risking a lot if she makes that move herself.
Posted by DamnataAnother thing Damnata,Posted by HiccupHer attitude, 2 guesses:
"now you know the truth, am ready for anything"!!
"I want out and he doesn't want to let me go so I will keep doing this til he takes it no more"
or,
As for she is sleeping at night..really soundly and in peace. Once we feel justified for a call we make, we have zero remorse.click to expand
back in 2013 I visited her family as we were finalizing marriage plans....in a normal conversation, her father said, her daughter is good but she is so temperamental, and when she wants something she can frown and get angry without caring if the thing is able to be obtained at the instant or not, she just wants it. Even her mother, once told her to stop being angry and frowning.
Time passed, I didn't see that coming!
Posted by DamnataStill, that's unfaithfulness.....if someone does that in marriage!Posted by HiccupUhm not what I said.
so un-possessiveness push them to be unfaithful!
For me personally there would be no cheating because I wouldn't fathom being in a partnership with a man that is easy breezy about that to begin with. We wouldn't be together.
"and I had her terminated from her job, for now I don't allow her to work anywhere until I say so."
Yeah, she is waiting for you to be fed up and let her go because you're a controlling lunatic and she's risking a lot if she makes that move herself.click to expand
But, why is she so jealous of me? I mean, we've she has been so curious about my "she" friends, and also, just recently we have acquired a new house girl for our home, I interviewed her and discovered she was an Aries girl, for me she was good and she would do better jobs to look for our house and our kid, also she is somehow good looking girl.....but guess what, my wife doesn't want her here, she would rather do all things her self or call one of her little sisters to come here. Does she afraid "I might be 'emotionally unstable' and do something 'tragic' with this girl (she's really talkative and I see she gets so happy whenever I get back home), or why exactly does she want this girl to pack and go?
Posted by HiccupPosted by DamnataStill, that's unfaithfulness.....if someone does that in marriage!Posted by HiccupUhm not what I said.
so un-possessiveness push them to be unfaithful!
For me personally there would be no cheating because I wouldn't fathom being in a partnership with a man that is easy breezy about that to begin with. We wouldn't be together.
"and I had her terminated from her job, for now I don't allow her to work anywhere until I say so."
Yeah, she is waiting for you to be fed up and let her go because you're a controlling lunatic and she's risking a lot if she makes that move herself.click to expand
But, why is she so jealous of me? I mean, we've she has been so curious about my "she" friends, and also, just recently we have acquired a new house girl for our home, after firing another house keeper (Sagittarian one), I interviewed her and discovered she was an Aries girl, for me she was good and she would do better jobs to look for our house and our kid, also she is somehow good looking girl.....but guess what, my wife doesn't want her here, she would rather do all things her self or call one of her little sisters to come here. Does she afraid "I might be 'emotionally unstable' and do something 'tragic' with this girl (she's really talkative and I see she gets so happy whenever I get back home), or why exactly does she want this girl to pack and go?
Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidThanx.
You've been married for way too short to be going through this much bs.
She obviously doesn't love you enough to stay faithful, and objectively I think it's in everyone's best interest to separate here.
Do you really wanna have her on a ball and chain just to ensure she's faithful? Shouldn't that come natural in loving relationships?
ime Virgals love the color pink.
Maybe you should get her a nice sundress with pink flower print?
Maybe you should get her a nice sundress with pink flower print?
You must like drama. Your life is your stage that you are producing and directing, close the curtains and end the play or re-write the script.
You cant always have what you want in life. My wife had an emotional affair and i left for months with out any plans to return. But after getting full truth i made my decision to return home. But you also seem abusive and insecure which cheating can make you, but so can low self esteem.
If your wife is still cheating except it and cheat too til one day you both leave each other. Or leave now and don't look back regardless of what u left behind. This sitistion can not be healthy for your kids.
You cant always have what you want in life. My wife had an emotional affair and i left for months with out any plans to return. But after getting full truth i made my decision to return home. But you also seem abusive and insecure which cheating can make you, but so can low self esteem.
If your wife is still cheating except it and cheat too til one day you both leave each other. Or leave now and don't look back regardless of what u left behind. This sitistion can not be healthy for your kids.
Know of a Virgo who did this exact same thing to a friend of mines... Toxic indeed ... And they have been good at hiding this for years... Leave ...
I always tell people
"The fights between husband and wife be it physical or verbal becomes apart of your child's childhood when they grow up"
When they grow up they will remember when mom hated dad and things became unstable how they always feared Dad getting Angry and not trusting mom.
The two adults that created them are the same 2 that take away from their dreams that take away from their happiness you take away apart of their childhood forever because you simply refuse to be adults and walk away and try to remain responsible adults.
"The fights between husband and wife be it physical or verbal becomes apart of your child's childhood when they grow up"
When they grow up they will remember when mom hated dad and things became unstable how they always feared Dad getting Angry and not trusting mom.
The two adults that created them are the same 2 that take away from their dreams that take away from their happiness you take away apart of their childhood forever because you simply refuse to be adults and walk away and try to remain responsible adults.
Posted by HiccupWhile you are married—? Why would you involve someone else in that mess? Who wants to be committed to married man?? Your marriage is doomed, you better be prepared for divorce.Posted by Damnata"woman's attention, focus and total commitment"
Honestly you sound like the only things you put value on is the sex and how she looks.
You don't sound like someone who embraced her emotionally at all so I'm not surprised she strayed.
I think she's aware that the foundation of your relationship wasn't love ever so...water off both your backs.click to expand
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