OP3CRIMSIN
@OP3CRIMSIN
15 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 20 · Posts: 882 · Topics: 36
How it goes?
Cont. thread for seadream's question for Virgals (Page 4)
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How it goes?
He came around to chased me and it takes 4 months to begged me to get back together, but i stick to my decision. But to be honest, i can feel that Strange Feeling or that strong chemistry with him even tho we haven't seen each other or no contact anymore.. But i am afraid of getting hurt again...
Well, I had to hide my previous post because the format of the message wasn't right and since there isn't any editing function, I guess hiding will do, anyway...
Sunnycap,
You got it! It's not that we don't have emotions, because we do. It's just that we hide them in a safe place for various reasons, some of which have been explained here. But when they come from they are aligned with the rest of us, that's why they don't come often. We are selective as to how we open up and where we apply our energies as we figure out life more...at least the Virgo who are not as distracted with silly things and are open for growth...
As far as your intuition or senses and the way you read him, yes that would also be scary for me. But, if you give him reassurance, he will feel safer over time. Real connections are huge for us though because they don't happen often, so unless you do something really bad chances are we won't forget... Only other important commitments could take precedence at that point.
Nice meeting ya Sunnycap! A question for you. How can someone show a capricorn that someone's words are real? Why do Capricorns get quiet once someone they like tries to be friends with them...and they eventually cut you off, even though they might have really liked you? And finally, would someone you cut it off, don't talk with anymore, because they couldn't correspond to your feelings at one point (but were really nice to you while doing it) have a chance with you again? I know, these are hard questions to answer, but if you could answer any of them that would be cool. I've been always a bit curious about that. 🙂
MissV
Sunnycap,
You got it! It's not that we don't have emotions, because we do. It's just that we hide them in a safe place for various reasons, some of which have been explained here. But when they come from they are aligned with the rest of us, that's why they don't come often. We are selective as to how we open up and where we apply our energies as we figure out life more...at least the Virgo who are not as distracted with silly things and are open for growth...
As far as your intuition or senses and the way you read him, yes that would also be scary for me. But, if you give him reassurance, he will feel safer over time. Real connections are huge for us though because they don't happen often, so unless you do something really bad chances are we won't forget... Only other important commitments could take precedence at that point.
Nice meeting ya Sunnycap! A question for you. How can someone show a capricorn that someone's words are real? Why do Capricorns get quiet once someone they like tries to be friends with them...and they eventually cut you off, even though they might have really liked you? And finally, would someone you cut it off, don't talk with anymore, because they couldn't correspond to your feelings at one point (but were really nice to you while doing it) have a chance with you again? I know, these are hard questions to answer, but if you could answer any of them that would be cool. I've been always a bit curious about that. 🙂
MissV
Posted by preciousvirgin
He came around to chased me and it takes 4 months to begged me to get back together, but i stick to my decision. But to be honest, i can feel that Strange Feeling or that strong chemistry with him even tho we haven't seen each other or no contact anymore.. But i am afraid of getting hurt again...
This reminds me of my ex Scorpio, I can completely understand.
Question for you though PV, how do you recognize true connection vs. lust (and this could be emotional or physical)? Have you ever pondered upon that?
I want to gather yours and others thoughts about the difference, if there is any.
MissV
LUST:
We never had sex more often he respect me for this if i ddnt want to have sometime...lol, even tho we hadn't made love in 2 to 3 months he never get upset or leaving me, he still keep coming back to me even tho he has a lot of girls around chasing him, he still spent more time with me.. I want him bad but i am afraid to loose my control and giving up all my affections towards him because of this behavior and these girls around him....well, past is past!! i am moving on now and much more relax w/o him in my life...
We never had sex more often he respect me for this if i ddnt want to have sometime...lol, even tho we hadn't made love in 2 to 3 months he never get upset or leaving me, he still keep coming back to me even tho he has a lot of girls around chasing him, he still spent more time with me.. I want him bad but i am afraid to loose my control and giving up all my affections towards him because of this behavior and these girls around him....well, past is past!! i am moving on now and much more relax w/o him in my life...
PV,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about both concepts. Based upon those definitions, then I would say my ex scorpio and I had a connection...crap.
We never had sex either. We just had amazing kisses, intimacy in all other levels, and very interesting times.
However, he messed up with our chances to move things along 3 times already, so I'm not sure if he would ever have another chance to be honest. He kind of blew it on his own. Sometimes, I understood his concerns, but some others he would mess things up for no reason...and we both have to pay for it. I now know that it might have to do with his own insecurities and fears about love...and probably a bit of selfishness and immaturity. And I know I have my own things as well, but it's just too bad he didn't stay consistent when I was willing to keep on going.
Somehow we've had this on and off situation for over 3 years now though, going from friends to liking each other again to wanting to date again...to wanting to move forward again...and them he randomly does something to hurt me.
I am dating a Taurus guy now, who is nice and normal, I'm just struggling with our mental connection, but I won't give up on him. I want to give it my best to see if he just needs time and/or a little guidance about that area in my life, because he is willing, the question now is...can he meet me there...
He is a very attractive guy (actually kinda hot!), but I need to see content. I am working on it/us though, hopefully this can something doable for both.
Meanwhile, sneaky Scorpio came back strong again. Eventually I said hey back and now we are back to just being acquaintances. He wants to be friends. I am trying to take it slow before I figure out if we should.
I say in your case PV, keep on moving. If he cares for you that much, he will come find you. Especially, if there are other women around. You deserve to be with someone who gives you the attention you deserve.
It's rare to find good connections, true. But we need both, real connections and real people willing to walk side by side.
MissV
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about both concepts. Based upon those definitions, then I would say my ex scorpio and I had a connection...crap.
We never had sex either. We just had amazing kisses, intimacy in all other levels, and very interesting times.
However, he messed up with our chances to move things along 3 times already, so I'm not sure if he would ever have another chance to be honest. He kind of blew it on his own. Sometimes, I understood his concerns, but some others he would mess things up for no reason...and we both have to pay for it. I now know that it might have to do with his own insecurities and fears about love...and probably a bit of selfishness and immaturity. And I know I have my own things as well, but it's just too bad he didn't stay consistent when I was willing to keep on going.
Somehow we've had this on and off situation for over 3 years now though, going from friends to liking each other again to wanting to date again...to wanting to move forward again...and them he randomly does something to hurt me.
I am dating a Taurus guy now, who is nice and normal, I'm just struggling with our mental connection, but I won't give up on him. I want to give it my best to see if he just needs time and/or a little guidance about that area in my life, because he is willing, the question now is...can he meet me there...
He is a very attractive guy (actually kinda hot!), but I need to see content. I am working on it/us though, hopefully this can something doable for both.
Meanwhile, sneaky Scorpio came back strong again. Eventually I said hey back and now we are back to just being acquaintances. He wants to be friends. I am trying to take it slow before I figure out if we should.
I say in your case PV, keep on moving. If he cares for you that much, he will come find you. Especially, if there are other women around. You deserve to be with someone who gives you the attention you deserve.
It's rare to find good connections, true. But we need both, real connections and real people willing to walk side by side.
MissV
I read alots of your post and comments MissV n am impressed of your view points and perspectives... Very courageous and inspiring...God Bless you with your Taurus Guy MissV... i will answer the rest for tomorrow, its bedtime now...hahaha
Posted by preciousvirgin
I read alots of your post and comments MissV n am impressed of your view points and perspectives... Very courageous and inspiring...God Bless you with your Taurus Guy MissV... i will answer the rest for tomorrow, its bedtime now...hahaha
Hi PV! Thank you so much for your kind words. It's nice to be able to relate to other Virgo girls here. 🙂 I am so glad that part of my thoughts can be extractable in some way...especially if its comes as something positive and/or uplifting. We all need words of wisdom at one time or another right? I'm also seeking to understand more as time passes by...
No hurry in responding. Enjoy this time and just write whenever is best.
Oh and thank you for your good wishes with the bull! I am doing what I can to promote further discussions and mental connection, we will see this summer how things unfold...
Ttyl girlie.
MissV
I am thankful that i have found this site or i should say i am thankful because somebody create/discover computer/internet site.. i have learned a lots of things here since i joined dxp and in the other sites too... feels like i am beginning to fill up my mind with a lot of things and learn more and more from you guys here... i had many questions when i was young that left unanswered... I grew up with family that have no mental connections with me... pardon me if i dont express my thoughts in a perfect way or in a right words? But i am practicing myself here with you guys...🙂....
Posted by preciousvirgin
I am thankful that i have found this site or i should say i am thankful because somebody create/discover computer/internet site.. i have learned a lots of things here since i joined dxp and in the other sites too... feels like i am beginning to fill up my mind with a lot of things and learn more and more from you guys here... i had many questions when i was young that left unanswered... I grew up with family that have no mental connections with me... pardon me if i dont express my thoughts in a perfect way or in a right words? But i am practicing myself here with you guys...🙂....
PV,
You are so sweet. 🙂 You are doing just fine!
It's so cute to see how you value information and learning as well. 😉
Over time, you will also see how we can go from gathering info into becoming more and more discerning. 🙂
I didn't have a family that would foster deeper conversations either and/or challenge ideas...so I understand, but you will meet people in your life who will show that side and it is really awesome to find those opportunities.
As far as the internet. Yes, it has pros and cons, as most things do, just stay observant as the Virgo that you because there are plenty of crazies out there, but once in a while you will some nice people who can teach you new things, show you new ropes, or help you enjoy life....sometimes even those who can encourage you.
So is this guy who are having to let go off a Cappy? How are you feeling about that?
Oh and I'm so glad that you have kept all the areas of your life in sync with others' level of commitment towards you, it saves unnecessary heartache friend. It doesn't matter what the world thinks, but what is best for you.
Later!
MissV
Yeah. VV is sweet. You seem to be one of the sweet type of Virgo girls too, though PV. Maybe all the usernames ending with a 'V' are?? 😉
- MissV
- MissV
Posted by MissV123
Yeah. VV is sweet. You seem to be one of the sweet type of Virgo girls too, though PV. Maybe all the usernames ending with a 'V' are?? 😉
- MissV
yaayy!! Cheersss to that MissV!! hik! haha
Hi SC!
Yes, we can be big on the push/pull thing, and as stated before, many times it's just us mirroring the other person.
We all understand your fear. It's not easy. I know.
I think it's ok for you to still be cautious. After all, this is your heart we are talking about here, but at the same time, don't allow your fear to cloud your judgement. "Cautiously optimistic"...I've always liked that term. 🙂
I know you are nervous about seeing him again (if you haven't already?) but DON'T put pressure on yourself to "perform".
Just be.
When an opportunity for you to spend time with him presents itself, do.
Try not to think too much about him rejecting you. Just focus on trying to build something solid with him.
Yes, we can be big on the push/pull thing, and as stated before, many times it's just us mirroring the other person.
We all understand your fear. It's not easy. I know.
I think it's ok for you to still be cautious. After all, this is your heart we are talking about here, but at the same time, don't allow your fear to cloud your judgement. "Cautiously optimistic"...I've always liked that term. 🙂
I know you are nervous about seeing him again (if you haven't already?) but DON'T put pressure on yourself to "perform".
Just be.
When an opportunity for you to spend time with him presents itself, do.
Try not to think too much about him rejecting you. Just focus on trying to build something solid with him.
Posted by preciousvirgin
Stop being pessimistic SC, This is the hardest part on the first stage of capricorn/virgo relationship...We feel the strong chemistry yet we don't know how to response or use it and having a fear of rejection... We don't like expressing our emotions verbally But we want to hear from the person about how they feel not only by actions.. maybe it is best to express your feelings by words with actions? what do u think as reassurance for him that you are true to your feelings??...pardon me if i don't apply my strong words of advice....were here to give you some ideas how to get that Virguy for you....🙂
Agreed.
Try not to be so pessimisstic. I know it's easier said than done, but, if you think negatively, you'll more than likely behave that way and possibly ruin your chances of developing something more with him that what you have now.
Obviously he will be with other women given the type of relationship that the two of you have (which is—). Even if he has very strong feelings for you the way you do for him, and might actually want to be in a relationship with you at some point, right about now you're basically just a girl whom he's slept with a few times. Neither one of you allowed yourselves to be more to the other from the beginnig, so this is what it is. You can't expect for him to be exclusive with you.
Posted by MissV123Posted by preciousvirgin
we are afraid of getting hurt or having a broken heart.because we hate to feel vulnerable...we can handle everything but love...because once we fall, its real and deep...but we keep it or hide it inside and make a bit distance to give ourselves a chance to observe if we are safe or that person will deserve to be Love....if we initiated just give us a response at the same time...because we hate to wait,waiting means REJECTIONS to us...we only say it 1's and that is it...i don't know if all virgos are the same??
Hi! I don't mean to interrupt, but PV, I can completely relate to the thoughts you shared above. It is hard to not be able to explain to others the thoughts we have and the depth of our feelings at times...it is hard knowing how real things are for us, while having to stay strong.
I can't speak for all of us Virgos, but I can tell you that your words resonated very well with my own experiences. I don't say BIG words easily or often at all, because if I do I really really mean them. Like I said, I don't know if all Virgos are like that, but as a Virgo girl, I can totally understand what you meant.
I think it's really cool that VV has been still offering her time and advices, she's so sweet and seems to be a loyal friend.
And miss cappy, good to know of your story and others too. I wish you the best. Capricorns have been always a lil' bit hard to read at times, so I am learning a bit more about it all as well.
MissVclick to expand
Awww...thanks MissV!
Nice to have you here! Keep chiming in.
I appreciate your POV, and thanks for helping to shed some more light on SC's situation.
Posted by preciousvirgin
No matter what it is, for him "HE still the Man" and it is easy for them to do that... But as a Woman like you/us we still afraid to lose our dignity in the eye of a man who catches our heart... You have no idea what is going on between him and the other woman behind the scene...Lets just focus in the present and the future, forget the past...start all over again....
So true PV!
It's different for the man than it is for the woman (unfortunately...and in this society at least).
Women can do whatever they want, but if you are the type of woman who wants to preserve her "dignity", then there are certain societal rules in which you have to follow.
Ditto! You're on of my fav's too, PV! You're humor, you're suppportiveness, and just your all-around wonderful personality! 🙂
MissV - you're another one of my fav's too!
Really, really nice to have you back. It's always a pleasure to hear about what's going on with you, and I can tell that you are always genuinely interested in knowing what the rest of us virgals are up too. Thanks for being so loyal and alwyas offering such great advice.
LOL - and a big shout out to my girls CLC, VulcanLass, LIMM, CancerMoon, Layna Lane, and AngelicVirgo! Tee hee hee hee
MissV - you're another one of my fav's too!
Really, really nice to have you back. It's always a pleasure to hear about what's going on with you, and I can tell that you are always genuinely interested in knowing what the rest of us virgals are up too. Thanks for being so loyal and alwyas offering such great advice.
LOL - and a big shout out to my girls CLC, VulcanLass, LIMM, CancerMoon, Layna Lane, and AngelicVirgo! Tee hee hee hee
Hey there VV!Hi All! I too have experienced the Cap thing.It's really quite tangible.You just have to learn each others rhythms.Learn to read the underlying sentiments under the words.
Posted by preciousvirgin
He came around to chased me and it takes 4 months to begged me to get back together, but i stick to my decision. But to be honest, i can feel that Strange Feeling or that strong chemistry with him even tho we haven't seen each other or no contact anymore.. But i am afraid of getting hurt again...
Hi again, everyone!
Thank you so much for all your POV's. I'm touched, really, of your kind help and understanding for my situation. I love coming here (although it's a bit sporadic sometimes due to work).
PV.... I know exactly what you mean about that strong chemistry, even when you haven't seen each other for a while. And for the fear of getting hurt, it's the worst thing ever to feel your heart breaking. I've felt it a few times with Virguy, but it has still not been enough to forget about him or wanting to stay away from him.
Perhaps I'm a sucker for punishment...?
Posted by MissV123
Nice meeting ya Sunnycap! A question for you. How can someone show a capricorn that someone's words are real? Why do Capricorns get quiet once someone they like tries to be friends with them...and they eventually cut you off, even though they might have really liked you?
I think if you say something to our face and really mean it, we'll pick up on it as being genuine. I read people's faces and body languages. I'm quite intuitive like that and I think quite a few Capricorns are the same. As for going quiet when someone tries to be friends with us, it often depends on the other person. If someone is very overpowering, false or "hyper" I can get a bit quiet. But these are the only reasons I would do that. I'm quite outgoing and like people, so it's rare for me not to like someone back.
And finally, would someone you cut it off, don't talk with anymore, because they couldn't correspond to your feelings at one point (but were really nice to you while doing it) have a chance with you again? I know, these are hard questions to answer, but if you could answer any of them that would be cool. I've been always a bit curious about that. 🙂
MissVclick to expand
If I cut someone off and they didn't talk to me, but were nice, and they came back, I would talk to them again. It all depends on why I (or the other person) ended the friendship/relationship in the first place. If my feelings got hurt, then I would be cautious but still chat and see what happened. It woulds also depend on my own feelings for the other person. If I had very strong feelings still, I would be much more open to give it another go.
Posted by preciousvirgin
LUST:
We never had sex more often he respect me for this if i ddnt want to have sometime...lol, even tho we hadn't made love in 2 to 3 months he never get upset or leaving me, he still keep coming back to me even tho he has a lot of girls around chasing him, he still spent more time with me.. I want him bad but i am afraid to loose my control and giving up all my affections towards him because of this behavior and these girls around him....well, past is past!! i am moving on now and much more relax w/o him in my life...
I can really relate to this. Even though Virguy and I had great sex, he was never pushing for it. In fact, I was the initiator and more pushy on this front. When we got down to it, though, it was just such a great thing. I'm not talking technical brilliance here, but a real connection. Something much deeper. We could laugh and chat, but then we would just not need to say anything. It was all there in our eyes and and in the body chemistry. It was almost like we connected mentally. I've never felt anything quite like it, and it would get a bit stronger every time we slept together. Afterwards, we would just lie in complete silence for quite some time while still physically connected to each other, it you know what I mean.
But despite this, the last time he was home, he really pulled away from me when it was a chance that we could end up in bed together. That's what I haven't been able to understand. He can sleep with others but not me, even though we had such a close connection...
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Hi SC!
Yes, we can be big on the push/pull thing, and as stated before, many times it's just us mirroring the other person.
We all understand your fear. It's not easy. I know.
Hi VV!
I think we've been both mirroring each other, like you say. I know I've done it. When he's done something to make me upset, insecure or jealous I would talk to other guys. Not to deliberately hurt him or get even. It was more about showing him that I was OK and did not sit around moping over what had happened. If he pulled away from me, I would do the same thing the next time I saw him. The reason for doing this was because he had pulled away, and I did not want to come across as needy or clingy in any way, so I pulled back.
I think it's ok for you to still be cautious. After all, this is your heart we are talking about here, but at the same time, don't allow your fear to cloud your judgement. "Cautiously optimistic"...I've always liked that term. 🙂
I know you are nervous about seeing him again (if you haven't already?) but DON'T put pressure on yourself to "perform".
Just be.
When an opportunity for you to spend time with him presents itself, do.
Try not to think too much about him rejecting you. Just focus on trying to build something solid with him.
click to expand
Cautiously optimistic sounds good and is a great idea! 🙂
I think you're spot on about not performing around him. In the past I've always been very outgoing, funny and lively around him (before anything happened between us), and I know he's always liked that. When strong emotions came into the picture, I would be very nervous and a bit tongue tied around him, scared of making a mistake. I think it's much better to just be myself, relax and see what happens.
I will aim for that, and hope I can do it if and when I see him again.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by preciousvirgin
Stop being pessimistic SC, This is the hardest part on the first stage of capricorn/virgo relationship...We feel the strong chemistry yet we don't know how to response or use it and having a fear of rejection... We don't like expressing our emotions verbally But we want to hear from the person about how they feel not only by actions.. maybe it is best to express your feelings by words with actions? what do u think as reassurance for him that you are true to your feelings??...pardon me if i don't apply my strong words of advice....were here to give you some ideas how to get that Virguy for you....🙂
Agreed.
Try not to be so pessimisstic. I know it's easier said than done, but, if you think negatively, you'll more than likely behave that way and possibly ruin your chances of developing something more with him that what you have now.
I agree. Being pessimistic is just going to give me bad energy that he will pick up on. I feel strangely calm these days, even though I know he's either back already or due back this week. I suppose the proof will be in the pudding if and when I see him.
Obviously he will be with other women given the type of relationship that the two of you have (which is—). Even if he has very strong feelings for you the way you do for him, and might actually want to be in a relationship with you at some point, right about now you're basically just a girl whom he's slept with a few times. Neither one of you allowed yourselves to be more to the other from the beginnig, so this is what it is. You can't expect for him to be exclusive with youclick to expand
This is alien to me, to be honest. I've always thought that if a guy really likes you, he will not want to be with someone else. Perhaps that's not the case, and that guys (especially Virgos) can be with others even if they have feelings for someone?
Our relationship in the past has been friendship (although not a close friendship) for the past 8-9 years. I'm friends with his sister, he's friends with my sister (but not close), and our sisters are friends and we have mutual friends. He also knows my ex husband, and I know his ex girlfriend. It's all one big puddle of friendship, really (but now with us having been in bed together a few times)! 🙂
Although I feel much more calm than I have felt in the past when I know he's coming home, I also have certain feelings of d?j?? vu. There's pictures in my head of what happened the last time he was back, but I'm getting better at pushing them to the side and not spending too much time thinking about it.
Due to what happened the last time he was here, I have decided not to go to a bar/concert where he's said he might be via Facebook. There's 3 reasons for this:
1. I know that one or two of the other women might be there.
2. When he comes back from the war zone, he is a bit stressed and needs to get stuff out of his system.
3. I don't want him to think that I'm following him or that I'm always at the places where he is.
Next weekend I will either stay in or go somewhere else, hoping that I will see him at some other time while he's back, when he's "landed" and is a bit more relaxed and himself as I know him.
If I see him on a so-called date with someone, I have a good support system around me. I have you great girls here, I have a couple of very good friends I can talk to about anything, and I have a therapist who's been great the last couple of months.
So hopefully, I will feel a bit calmer and more confident in myself this time. Finger's crossed 🙂
Due to what happened the last time he was here, I have decided not to go to a bar/concert where he's said he might be via Facebook. There's 3 reasons for this:
1. I know that one or two of the other women might be there.
2. When he comes back from the war zone, he is a bit stressed and needs to get stuff out of his system.
3. I don't want him to think that I'm following him or that I'm always at the places where he is.
Next weekend I will either stay in or go somewhere else, hoping that I will see him at some other time while he's back, when he's "landed" and is a bit more relaxed and himself as I know him.
If I see him on a so-called date with someone, I have a good support system around me. I have you great girls here, I have a couple of very good friends I can talk to about anything, and I have a therapist who's been great the last couple of months.
So hopefully, I will feel a bit calmer and more confident in myself this time. Finger's crossed 🙂
Well, I thought I would be strong. He's now at home (announced it on his FB wall a couple of hours ago) and I get all nervous and shaky already! Less than I have been in the past, but the jittery feelings are still there from knowing that he's here and that I can bump into him at any point. As expected, a couple of girls have clicked that they like his status about being at home, one which I have noticed has been liking and commenting quite a few of his status updates over the last 4-5 months.
This makes me so insecure and suspicious, even though I know I have not right to be that. I can't help it. I'm so scared of having my heart broken (again)! Don't know what to do. I know you have all told me to forget about the other girls. I just don't seem to be able to do it.
All I want is to see him, be around him, touch him. It's so incredibly hard...
This makes me so insecure and suspicious, even though I know I have not right to be that. I can't help it. I'm so scared of having my heart broken (again)! Don't know what to do. I know you have all told me to forget about the other girls. I just don't seem to be able to do it.
All I want is to see him, be around him, touch him. It's so incredibly hard...
(Sigh..) Its hard isn't it? But you don't have any choice. Are you willing to lose him and be with another woman or do something to make him yours...
I know exactly how you feel, Ive been there with a Capi Man... All you can do now is to welcome him and let him know that you are glad and happy that he is safe to be back home. Cherish him, and use your signature as being a persistent Capricorn to get what you want...But don't come so strong , just be yourself and he will admire you for that...
Posted by preciousvirgin
I know exactly how you feel, Ive been there with a Capi Man... All you can do now is to welcome him and let him know that you are glad and happy that he is safe to be back home. Cherish him, and use your signature as being a persistent Capricorn to get what you want...But don't come so strong , just be yourself and he will admire you for that...
Thanks PV. You are so right about showing him that I'm happy to see him back safe and sound and just being myself without coming on too strongly. I just get so incredibly nervous even thinking about it. Ever since we've had a physical connection, I've been like this.... weak at the knees when I see him, especially the first time I see him when he's back. A bit of me is also quite pessimistic, thinking he's got his eye on someone else and that I might see him with some other girl. That makes me very scared and insecure.
I hate feeling this weak. I'm a very strong person when it comes to everything else. But when it comes to him, I'm a shaking wreck! It make me so angry with myself and also very confused, because I simply can't understand why I still feel this way and why I can't get a grip of myself...
I hate feeling this weak. I'm a very strong person when it comes to everything else. But when it comes to him, I'm a shaking wreck! It make me so angry with myself and also very confused, because I simply can't understand why I still feel this way and why I can't get a grip of myself...
LOL...I was like this before, I practice my speech and gain more strength before i face him, but am always Fail..I always know what i want , knows who i am..always know what to do yet I don't when were together... i grab my hair because i hate myself..its drives me crazy, my tongue get freeze... But when i cant handle the pain anymore and jealousy towards other woman, i told him i feel jealous coz i wanna be the only one for him, but he is such an insane..this is the reason why i cant loose my feelings and trust with him..........
in your case, just act natural as a friend that cares so much for him , let him know and make him feel that you are sincere and honest... we'd rather give you some action advice than words...action is what you need...
LOL...I was like this before, I practice my speech and gain more strength before i face him, but am always Fail..I always know what i want , knows who i am..always know what to do yet I don't when were together... i grab my hair because i hate myself..its drives me crazy, my tongue get freeze... But when i cant handle the pain anymore and jealousy towards other woman, i told him i feel jealous coz i wanna be the only one for him, but he is such an insane..this is the reason why i cant loose my feelings and trust with him..........
in your case, just act natural as a friend that cares so much for him , let him know and make him feel that you are sincere and honest... we'd rather give you some action advice than words...action is what you need...
everything you have to say do it in action... don;t say something that is not compatible to your action...Virgos can notice everything and very observer...
oh yeah, i read your other post " do i tell him how i feel" ....i like the way how your express your feelings and the way how you deliver your story with your Virgo..its all in details and very clear..it seems like i am watching a love story movie...🙂
don't pay attention to the RAT, Virgos love to read..reading is one of our weakness.. so don't worry, you are free to say what you wanted to say wit doesn't matter how long it is...
oh yeah, i read your other post " do i tell him how i feel" ....i like the way how your express your feelings and the way how you deliver your story with your Virgo..its all in details and very clear..it seems like i am watching a love story movie...🙂
don't pay attention to the RAT, Virgos love to read..reading is one of our weakness.. so don't worry, you are free to say what you wanted to say wit doesn't matter how long it is...
would you mind if i ask you something?
Posted by preciousvirgin
would you mind if i ask you something?
Thanks for your advice and kind words, PV! I've just come back from a bar, and he was not there. I had a very good time and a good laugh with an old school friend, so it was OK. All I thought about was him, though. lol! God, how I miss him and would love to see him, be near him, chat to him and touch him!
Please just ask me anything.🙂
Oooohhh. I'm so worried right now. I have to let it out here....
I've just been out with a couple of nice girlfriends to the opening of an exhibition. Afterwards we went on to a couple of bars where he normally goes. In fact, he had said on FB that he might attend a concert at one of these places. But he was not at either of these places. I did not go looking for him and I was nervous in case I would bump into him, but as my friends wanted to go to these places, I went along.
I'm very worried that he was not out, as it's the first time in a year that he's not been out when he's just come back from work. Yesterday morning he wrote that he was back home on his FB wall. The other woman made an innocent comment about his status, and he actually deleted it. I think that's the first time he's deleted anything she's commented (and she has commented on more or less everything he's written for the past 18 months). Why would he suddenly do this now?
It looks and feels like he doesn't want someone to see that girls comments on his status, like he's trying to show that he's not connected to anyone. Almost like he's showing that he's not interested in anyone else. Is he trying to impress someone, I'm wondering right now.
This makes me so scared. Something is so different this time around, and I'm terrified that he's moved on with someone else....
I've just been out with a couple of nice girlfriends to the opening of an exhibition. Afterwards we went on to a couple of bars where he normally goes. In fact, he had said on FB that he might attend a concert at one of these places. But he was not at either of these places. I did not go looking for him and I was nervous in case I would bump into him, but as my friends wanted to go to these places, I went along.
I'm very worried that he was not out, as it's the first time in a year that he's not been out when he's just come back from work. Yesterday morning he wrote that he was back home on his FB wall. The other woman made an innocent comment about his status, and he actually deleted it. I think that's the first time he's deleted anything she's commented (and she has commented on more or less everything he's written for the past 18 months). Why would he suddenly do this now?
It looks and feels like he doesn't want someone to see that girls comments on his status, like he's trying to show that he's not connected to anyone. Almost like he's showing that he's not interested in anyone else. Is he trying to impress someone, I'm wondering right now.
This makes me so scared. Something is so different this time around, and I'm terrified that he's moved on with someone else....
I mean, if he liked me at all, would he not go out to see if he would bump into me? He has done that in the past, knowing there's a chance that I will be there. Mind you, the last time he did that, I invited myself back to his place with these other people , and we subsequently ended up arguing big time. He normally gets very drunk when he's just come back, some sort of relief from what he's been through in the war zone, I suppose. He wanted to be with those loose women and didn't want me there. Maybe he just wanted to avoid the possibility of that scenario again so stayed at home having a party with these women without going out?
That would be just about ok. But I can't shake off the feeling that he's been in contact with another nice girl while he was away this time. There'e one girl who's suddenly liked a lot of his status updates and the songs he's posted on FB. She clicked that she liked that he's back home yesterday, for instance. And with him suddenly deleting a comment made by the other woman he's had an on/off thing with for more than a year makes me worried that he's trying to show someone that he's not interested in anyone else.
Right now, I feel so incredibly scared, and I feel that he does not care about me in the slightest.
Please help! X
That would be just about ok. But I can't shake off the feeling that he's been in contact with another nice girl while he was away this time. There'e one girl who's suddenly liked a lot of his status updates and the songs he's posted on FB. She clicked that she liked that he's back home yesterday, for instance. And with him suddenly deleting a comment made by the other woman he's had an on/off thing with for more than a year makes me worried that he's trying to show someone that he's not interested in anyone else.
Right now, I feel so incredibly scared, and I feel that he does not care about me in the slightest.
Please help! X
Send him a text messages on his Phone or via facebook, ask him how his doing right now if he give you a response then invite him to have a house party in your place with a friend....
Do you have a kids from you previous marriage SC?
Posted by preciousvirgin
Send him a text messages on his Phone or via facebook, ask him how his doing right now if he give you a response then invite him to have a house party in your place with a friend....
with a couples of friends "I mean, so that he can feel comfortable if you have other people around you....I have said this thing as a first step to get him close to you...
Posted by preciousvirginPosted by preciousvirgin
Send him a text messages on his Phone or via facebook, ask him how his doing right now if he give you a response then invite him to have a house party in your place with a friend....
with a couples of friends "I mean, so that he can feel comfortable if you have other people around you....I have said this thing as a first step to get him close to you...click to expand
s
I feel very uncomfortable texting him or messaging him via FB, because in the past he's not responded quickly. Before he's had a chance to respond in the past, we've ended up chatting via FB instead (which I always initiate). But I did send him a simple Happy Christmas text at Christmas, did not hear anything from him that day, but saw him by chance the following night. We ended up together and had such a good time (and I felt we were closer than ever). That's when he asked if I was going to the concert he was going to that night, where I ended up more or less ignoring him etc (which I have explained before).
So, I'm too nervous and scared to text/message him because I fear that I will not hear back from him. I also would like to see him face to face first to see how he reacts when we see each other...
Posted by preciousvirgin
Do you have a kids from you previous marriage SC?
No, I don't have any kids.
By the way thanks for your quick reply, PV! I really appreciate it as I'm so stressed, worried and thoughtful at the moment. I want to sleep but I can't sleep because my head is filled with thoughts and my heart is filled with emotions.
Would it be a good idea to send him a welcome home text on his mobile? I can't decide and have spent two days thinking about it. Part of me think it would be a nice thing to do, but another part of me think it could be seen as too keen and clingy as soon as he's back in the country. Also, I don't think he would write back, so it could make me a little stressed and awkward if/when I see him.
I just can't make up my mind...
I just can't make up my mind...
Posted by sunnycapPosted by MissV123
Nice meeting ya Sunnycap! A question for you. How can someone show a capricorn that someone's words are real? Why do Capricorns get quiet once someone they like tries to be friends with them...and they eventually cut you off, even though they might have really liked you?
I think if you say something to our face and really mean it, we'll pick up on it as being genuine. I read people's faces and body languages. I'm quite intuitive like that and I think quite a few Capricorns are the same. As for going quiet when someone tries to be friends with us, it often depends on the other person. If someone is very overpowering, false or "hyper" I can get a bit quiet. But these are the only reasons I would do that. I'm quite outgoing and like people, so it's rare for me not to like someone back.
And finally, would someone you cut it off, don't talk with anymore, because they couldn't correspond to your feelings at one point (but were really nice to you while doing it) have a chance with you again? I know, these are hard questions to answer, but if you could answer any of them that would be cool. I've been always a bit curious about that. 🙂
MissV
Sunnycap,
You are sweet, thanks for responding, this helps a lot. 🙂 I just always wondered how you guys operated in those cases... I hope your week started out great and it makes me happy to see the conversations you all have been forming here!
MissV
If I cut someone off and they didn't talk to me, but were nice, and they came back, I would talk to them again. It all depends on why I (or the other person) ended the friendship/relationship in the first place. If my feelings got hurt, then I would be cautious but still chat and see what happened. It woulds also depend on my own feelings for the other person. If I had very strong feelings still, I would be much more open to give it another go.click to expand
Sunnycap,
That previous messages was for you, but I guess quoting it made it a bit longer than the required space, sorry about that.
You are sweet, thank you for taking the time to write back.
I had three cute crushing situations with cappies that were mutual, but in one way or another I was either not ready for them completely to give more of me into it...or I just didn't get the typical responses I am used once I make certain decisions. Basically, it was cute, but sadly ended very soon all those times due to bad timing, lack of communication, and just not knowing that you guys were very guarded and analytical people as well.
I hope your week started out great and it makes me happy to see how you all carry on this conversation...its just cool to see that people care for each other, even if its in simple ways like this. 🙂
MissV
That previous messages was for you, but I guess quoting it made it a bit longer than the required space, sorry about that.
You are sweet, thank you for taking the time to write back.
I had three cute crushing situations with cappies that were mutual, but in one way or another I was either not ready for them completely to give more of me into it...or I just didn't get the typical responses I am used once I make certain decisions. Basically, it was cute, but sadly ended very soon all those times due to bad timing, lack of communication, and just not knowing that you guys were very guarded and analytical people as well.
I hope your week started out great and it makes me happy to see how you all carry on this conversation...its just cool to see that people care for each other, even if its in simple ways like this. 🙂
MissV
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
MissV - you're another one of my fav's too!
Really, really nice to have you back. It's always a pleasure to hear about what's going on with you, and I can tell that you are always genuinely interested in knowing what the rest of us virgals are up too. Thanks for being so loyal and alwyas offering such great advice.
LOL - and a big shout out to my girls CLC, VulcanLass, LIMM, CancerMoon, Layna Lane, and AngelicVirgo! Tee hee hee hee
Hello VV!
Look at you being so popular here, giving shout outs and everything!
How was your real state class?? Was it useful? Did you learn new things?
I decided to come here to vent a little friend. I am fortunate to have one really cool friend here, but I don't want to share everything in one place you know? She is a cool aqua girl. You might recall on my appreciation for some aquas haha Well, she is one of the cool ones really, loyal and caring. My best friends here are two aqua girls and one virgo girl right now gotta love those virgo ladies!! share the burden, you know??
Anyway, I am really struggling with staying in the relationship with the Taurus VV. He is still so sweet and I can trust him, yes, which is so important, but I am missing that mental connection so much.
I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it too, I think, because his family REALLY loves me and always try to make plans with us and I can actually have great conversations with his parents...just not him. He also has some relatives visiting soon that he wants me to meet...ahhhhh...as you can image, it makes it all so much harder and overwhelming inside...
(to be continued)
Continuation...
You might ask, why have you not ended it yet. Simple my friend, he is going through a really hard time right now related to his future and lack of direction (another issue I have that I didn't see coming up) and I know his family is overwhelmed with that already. I don't want to hurt him at this time by ending things (as his hopes in the job he worked towards have just ended) and add sadness to his family. On top of that my family was so happy too, I would dislike to disappoint them without trying harder...
It is mostly him having a really hard time though. We have began attending once again the events I had planned to encourage more discussions and mental connection...so he does come along or goes with me...but nothing has changed. It rather has been accentuated because it is not just the lack of conversations we can have, but also the fact that he is just always waiting for me to do something and hangs around without making an effort to talk with other people.
In few words, friends, the guy is soooo sweet, but our relationship is not fostering the things I need...and it takes two. I just think he would do better with a more basic type of girl, who isn't always up to something, and has this need to connect in all ways. I get sad when I think about it though, because I don't want to hurt someone again. I am trying to drift little by little to just get some room to think, but I think notices it and wants to involve me even more into things...what I think he doesn't understand is that I don't need more gifts or words, I just need to fall in love with his mind. I don't know how else to explain it better.
So many of my girl friends think he is so attractive though. He will meet someone one day. It's just that hard transition of having to let go...especially when the book looks so good ya know? It is just...I need content. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish, sometimes, that I was a bit simpler, like some of my friends...
Well, I just wanted to vent somewhere a little, as I know another day comes and I know I will have to hold on to this, work on this, and live this for a bit longer, until things are at a better place for him.
Ttyl VV, thanks for letting me share this!
MissV
You might ask, why have you not ended it yet. Simple my friend, he is going through a really hard time right now related to his future and lack of direction (another issue I have that I didn't see coming up) and I know his family is overwhelmed with that already. I don't want to hurt him at this time by ending things (as his hopes in the job he worked towards have just ended) and add sadness to his family. On top of that my family was so happy too, I would dislike to disappoint them without trying harder...
It is mostly him having a really hard time though. We have began attending once again the events I had planned to encourage more discussions and mental connection...so he does come along or goes with me...but nothing has changed. It rather has been accentuated because it is not just the lack of conversations we can have, but also the fact that he is just always waiting for me to do something and hangs around without making an effort to talk with other people.
In few words, friends, the guy is soooo sweet, but our relationship is not fostering the things I need...and it takes two. I just think he would do better with a more basic type of girl, who isn't always up to something, and has this need to connect in all ways. I get sad when I think about it though, because I don't want to hurt someone again. I am trying to drift little by little to just get some room to think, but I think notices it and wants to involve me even more into things...what I think he doesn't understand is that I don't need more gifts or words, I just need to fall in love with his mind. I don't know how else to explain it better.
So many of my girl friends think he is so attractive though. He will meet someone one day. It's just that hard transition of having to let go...especially when the book looks so good ya know? It is just...I need content. I wish it wasn't that way. I wish, sometimes, that I was a bit simpler, like some of my friends...
Well, I just wanted to vent somewhere a little, as I know another day comes and I know I will have to hold on to this, work on this, and live this for a bit longer, until things are at a better place for him.
Ttyl VV, thanks for letting me share this!
MissV
Posted by MissV123
Sunnycap,
That previous messages was for you, but I guess quoting it made it a bit longer than the required space, sorry about that.
You are sweet, thank you for taking the time to write back.
I had three cute crushing situations with cappies that were mutual, but in one way or another I was either not ready for them completely to give more of me into it...or I just didn't get the typical responses I am used once I make certain decisions. Basically, it was cute, but sadly ended very soon all those times due to bad timing, lack of communication, and just not knowing that you guys were very guarded and analytical people as well.
I hope your week started out great and it makes me happy to see how you all carry on this conversation...its just cool to see that people care for each other, even if its in simple ways like this. 🙂
MissV
Thanks for your reply, MissV, and I'm happy that I've helped throw some light on how Capricorns think and operate🙂
...or I just didn't get the typical responses I am used once I make certain decisions. Basically, it was cute, but sadly ended very soon all those times due to bad timing, lack of communication, and just not knowing that you guys were very guarded and analytical people as well.click to expand
This has really made me think. Lack of communication and not knowing that Capricorns also are very guarded and analytical people. I suppose this can really be misinterpreted as being uninterested and aloof, when very often (at least in my case) the complete opposite is the truth! I'm an outgoing person that chat easily to others, but with the Virguy, I know I can come across as distant and cool. It's because I'm so terrified of making a mistake or appearing too keen, clingy or needy, which I'm worried might put him off and scare him.
Reading what you wrote, I'm beginning to wonder if he might think that I'm not interested in him on a deeper level? He has known me for more than 8 years and have always seen me as very chatty, sociable and outgoing in our group of friends. So, when I don't contact him very often when he's away, or send him a message welcoming him back from the war zone, he might take that as a sign that I don't care that much.
...CONTINUED....
He's a very quiet and insular person, so I think he needs a lot of reassurance that someone likes him. Up until now, I have unintentionally mirrored his behaviour. I've done this because I've taken his quietness as a sign that he's not that interested. He probably doesn't know that I'm also very guarded and analytical with a big fear of rejection, because he's seen me being the complete opposite with other people and our mutual friends.
Thank you for this insight, Miss V! Because of this, I might just send him a text welcoming him back, letting him know that I'm really happy that he's back home safely from the war zone. I was going to wait to say it until I hopefully saw him, but perhaps it's better to just jump in now and send him a simple but nice message saying this. He's been back a few days already, so maybe it's OK to do it now?
Would this not show him that I care without being too pushy?
He's a very quiet and insular person, so I think he needs a lot of reassurance that someone likes him. Up until now, I have unintentionally mirrored his behaviour. I've done this because I've taken his quietness as a sign that he's not that interested. He probably doesn't know that I'm also very guarded and analytical with a big fear of rejection, because he's seen me being the complete opposite with other people and our mutual friends.
Thank you for this insight, Miss V! Because of this, I might just send him a text welcoming him back, letting him know that I'm really happy that he's back home safely from the war zone. I was going to wait to say it until I hopefully saw him, but perhaps it's better to just jump in now and send him a simple but nice message saying this. He's been back a few days already, so maybe it's OK to do it now?
Would this not show him that I care without being too pushy?
Posted by sunnycap
...CONTINUED....
He's a very quiet and insular person, so I think he needs a lot of reassurance that someone likes him. Up until now, I have unintentionally mirrored his behaviour. I've done this because I've taken his quietness as a sign that he's not that interested. He probably doesn't know that I'm also very guarded and analytical with a big fear of rejection, because he's seen me being the complete opposite with other people and our mutual friends.
Thank you for this insight, Miss V! Because of this, I might just send him a text welcoming him back, letting him know that I'm really happy that he's back home safely from the war zone. I was going to wait to say it until I hopefully saw him, but perhaps it's better to just jump in now and send him a simple but nice message saying this. He's been back a few days already, so maybe it's OK to do it now?
Would this not show him that I care without being too pushy?
Hi sunnycap! If he has been back for few days already and you hadn't say hi, yes why not do it now, that doesn't sound pushy to me.
My idea of clingy or pushy is this: someone who is NOT in a relationship with me who texts me or calls often, without giving me any time to respond AND gets mad or emotional if I don't respond right away. That's it.
Just send him a sweet, but short text message OR a sweet and witty message, but remember above all to be you. He has to like you for you, otherwise sooner or later that will come up...and same for him, like him for whoever he is...although of course in relationships there is always a chance to transform in some areas, if there is willingness. Also, two reasons why it would be okay if you text: (continue to the next post)
1. If he has no idea that you like him, he will think that is sweet of you. We always observe and consider those details, which will make him think of you and consider you.
2. If he does have any idea that you might like him AND if he also does have a secret thing for you, he will appreciate the thought and it will give him reassurance to hopefully step up to the plate a little OR at least consider this again before he makes his next move.
Just make sure you give him some room to respond, especially as he is just getting acquainted back with everything. And remember, sometimes, we take some time to respond, but it doesn't mean we aren't thinking about you, we are just scared to get a bit too close and need some time to evaluate things BUT the good things is that IF we do write back again that means we have thought about it and want to stay in touch too. We are not the impulsive type when it comes to communication, so although we can be a pain in the butt because of it, it is also a good thing as far as knowing that we mean that.
I have to read more about this guy to let you know my thoughts of him. Just a side note, know that not everything that looks like a Virgo is gold 😉 just know that, but if he is the real/good type then yes there is lots of potential. 🙂
You seem to be a sweetheart, sunnycap, I really hope this Virgo guy and you have a future chance to discover what this might be all about.
MissV
2. If he does have any idea that you might like him AND if he also does have a secret thing for you, he will appreciate the thought and it will give him reassurance to hopefully step up to the plate a little OR at least consider this again before he makes his next move.
Just make sure you give him some room to respond, especially as he is just getting acquainted back with everything. And remember, sometimes, we take some time to respond, but it doesn't mean we aren't thinking about you, we are just scared to get a bit too close and need some time to evaluate things BUT the good things is that IF we do write back again that means we have thought about it and want to stay in touch too. We are not the impulsive type when it comes to communication, so although we can be a pain in the butt because of it, it is also a good thing as far as knowing that we mean that.
I have to read more about this guy to let you know my thoughts of him. Just a side note, know that not everything that looks like a Virgo is gold 😉 just know that, but if he is the real/good type then yes there is lots of potential. 🙂
You seem to be a sweetheart, sunnycap, I really hope this Virgo guy and you have a future chance to discover what this might be all about.
MissV
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