Dating a Scorpio Man

Virgo Ladies: Curious to hear your tips on how to act around a Scorpio man in the beginning of the dating phase so he is attracted to you and interested in exploring a relationship with you. I hear about them liking mystery and was trying to get some insights about this on the Scorpio board, but am also interested in hearing your opnions.

What is your experience? What worked for you? And what was an epic failure?

What do you mean by "duplicity" and acting right?

And I am very surprised to hear that you don't know any Scorps that like mystery.

Are you a Virgo woman who's dated a Scorp?

I'm a scorpio woman who lived and was in a relationship with a Virgo man for a year and a half. I wasn't really interested in him and he was being flirted with by a bunch of other girls on our blind date setup by mutual friends at an art show. That really turned me off... I don't want what others want... but at the same time I get flirted with constantly as well. Contradiction I know, meh. We like odd.... mystery being that there is something to figure out ... he had very dark eyes and was pretty quiet most of the time. I wanted to get into his head and figure him out... that was what was got me interested in him. There was much more to him than surface... even at the end of the relationship (which we argued ourselves right out of).... I still hadn't been able to exactly pin what was wrong with his wiring up there..... but it may also have something to do with the fact I don't think he really knew either.

Presenting mystery would be giving us something intriguing about yourself that we can try and figure out.... so don't tell us everything about yourself right away leave hints at interesting things about you without giving full detail about it. Present yourself strong and respectful with moments of reserve so we can get interested. Hope some of this helps you... even though I'm not a male scorpio.. I'm a tomboy so I'm sorta close to that lol

Vanilla, thanks for the input. I am a flirty type, so that would not be an issue. I mean I can flirt with a man I am with, but I am not the one to be throwing sexy glances and coy smiiles if say I am out at a lounge, never been my thing. As for being a little reserved, that I am, but again, I tend to act that way when I don't know people. Once I am comfortable with you, then I can be quite dorky.

The guy I am interested in...the problem is, we don't spend a lot of time together, like seeing each other once a week, but it's more of his leading it this way. I don't want to be the one trying to push it to progress at a more rapid rate. So that in itself, the way that he doesn't offer to see me more than that or that we can chat up for days and then he goes silent for days, drives me crazy. When I like someone, I don't want to play games and do the hot/cold behavior. And knowing that about me, I am trying to understand how to keep a healthy balance. Since I like him and I feel that he is interested in me too, I want to know if there is anything that I could be doing that would indirectly affect his interest in me to grow.

We like our space...... and tbh I am usually no the one to initiate conversations .... I don't like feeling like I'm over doing it by contacting too much ... even if that's a call every day. Then some days I just like to sit in my thoughts and have me time. WE have so much emotions in us we need down time to expel them or work them out.

Just be yourself.... we like honesty and if he doesn't like you for you.... then he isn't the right one..... you sound charming and if he's showing interest in you back... I wouldn't worry too much...

Clueless, I did post on there too, just wanted to get a different prospective, from Virgos.

My ex was a Scorp, and yes he was super paranoid, which drove me away from him, because I felt like I was suffocating from all of his distrust and questioning since I only had my eyes on him. Yet, in his world, I could never go shopping or to the movies by myself, coz that meant I was doing something? Like what?? But that was the behavior I had to deal with once we were married and I had the security of knowing that he wanted to be with me, loved me, wanted me for his wife, etc.

Now, I am seeing a Scorp man, and it's all new, so I am finding myself in a different zone where I don't have that secure feeling of knowing that he is really interested in me. And I do like him. So I want to know what I can do to make/keep him interested in me.

So Vanilla, when you go into "hiding" does that mean you don't want to be bothered? This is new to me, coz even though I am a loner by nature and do like my "me" time, I can't see myself being distant/not talking to the person I like/love for days. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, when it's all new, I want to be in contact. Doesn't mean I need to talk on the phone every day or even text endlessly every day, but if it becomes more than a couple of days in between communication, I start to feel anxious, frustrated. Again, once I am in a relationship and I have that secure feeling knowing where that person and I stand, I don't feel this way.

So if a Scorp man cuts down communication and I don't hear from him for days, do I just leave him be? Wait for him to contact me? Again it doesn't feel good to be left in the limbo and I would like him to know that. Can I be honest with him about it without sounding too needy/cligny? See what I mean when I say I struggle to figure out the balance when it comes to this. Thanks for your input!

Like for instance I've I am hurt by something going on in my personal life I typically like to deal with it alone..... I don't like being bothered till I am in a better mood... our emotional fits can be so overwhelming and we don't want it spilling out onto you if we can help it.

I don't think it's wrong to text him a simple hey how are you..... it's not clingy it's showing you are interested... clingy would be you texting him throughout the day and asking to see him all the time.

I don't think I would just kick someone to the curb for not calling you after a couple days.... life is CRAZY and you can never tell whatsup with someone till you reach out and find out... I get anxious too after a couple days but just look it as a chance to work on having better patience. At least that's what I try to do with my aqua boo.... it's tough and we aren't an easy sign to understand. But we have BIG HEARTS and if we have a good soul too... then we are sweet hearts :-)

Posted by Impulsv
Act n be ursf. We value courage
To be u

i love this quote. it's actually on one of my profiles....

anyway, to the OP.. i'm a virgo currently in a relationship with a scoprio man and we're so happy together.. i've had a string of relationships with scorpios but this is the healthiest relationship i've ever been in so far...my ex was also like yours.. very controlling and paranoid. he didn't have a life outside our relationship so he was always insecure. the thing that ticked me off was that he wouldn't outright voice his feelings, but would do little manipulative things here and there, or say snide comments after.

i think the thing that works with this scorpio is that we are very honest with each other. and in fact, the reason why he was so intrigued with me in the beginning was because i didn't care to look vulnerable to him. (those were his words.. but to me i just thought i was being honest). i had particular bad luck last year with men so by the time i met him, i had this attitude that didn't care one way or another, so i was upfront and honest, but nonchalant and carefree.

i love my space but we see each other almost everyday. we don't text each other all the time though (maybe because we see each other everyday). i was away for a week and he said he was miserable and had trouble sleeping.. so i dont think it's entirely true that scorpios need to be alone all the time... anyway i'm very happy with him and i really really love the intensity of his affections for me.

Posted by VanillaShake
Like for instance I've I am hurt by something going on in my personal life I typically like to deal with it alone..... I don't like being bothered till I am in a better mood... our emotional fits can be so overwhelming and we don't want it spilling out onto you if we can help it.

I don't think it's wrong to text him a simple hey how are you..... it's not clingy it's showing you are interested... clingy would be you texting him throughout the day and asking to see him all the time.

I don't think I would just kick someone to the curb for not calling you after a couple days.... life is CRAZY and you can never tell whatsup with someone till you reach out and find out... I get anxious too after a couple days but just look it as a chance to work on having better patience. At least that's what I try to do with my aqua boo.... it's tough and we aren't an easy sign to understand. But we have BIG HEARTS and if we have a good soul too... then we are sweet hearts :-)

it's so true (about you guys being sweethearts) the thing though with the whole misunderstood mystique that you scorpios have is partly engineered by the scorpios themselves. when i first met my scorpio, he made it seem that he was this hard, heartbreaking fellow who didn't believe in relationships. of course i saw through that and he ended up wanting the relationship and saying i love you to me first.

Posted by OneLove78


Curious to hear your tips on how to act around a Scorpio man in the beginning of the dating phase so he is attracted to you and interested in exploring a relationship with you.

This one is very simple. If you "act" he'll know you are acting and he'll be GONE.

It's unbelievable in these forums how women underestimate Scorps.

It is somewhat entertaining though.

Posted by OneLove78

And I am very surprised to hear that you don't know any Scorps that like mystery.

Mystery is great...but fake people suck.

Posted by OneLove78I want to know if there is anything that I could be doing that would indirectly affect his interest in me to grow.

Answered ^^

Posted by Impulsv

A great and much deeper answer^^^^

@bloodflow ...... we like our alone time but that could be just having a night a week to sit in a game room and work on our hobby...... but if we love someone we typically want to spend as much time with them as possible. We want to merge ourselves with them.

i think the thing that works with this scorpio is that we are very honest with each other. and in fact, the reason why he was so intrigued with me in the beginning was because i didn't care to look vulnerable to him. (those were his words.. but to me i just thought i was being honest). i had particular bad luck last year with men so by the time i met him, i had this attitude that didn't care one way or another, so i was upfront and honest, but nonchalant and carefree.

Thank you for your input, BD. This is in part what made me ask my question...I am always honest with men when it comes to what I am looking for and how I feel. However, I am wary of letting my guard down and letting him know - "hey I like you, maybe even more than I should like you at this point, but I can't help it." It's just I always find myself battling being honest with communicating my feelings versus taking a step back and not saying anything when a relationship is new. And this one is about 1,5 months....so you see, as much as I am all for being honest, I know that some people will think "whoa, this girl is too much. It's only been 6-7 weeks and she is already coming on to me with all these feelings."

Posted by LetltB

Posted by OneLove78


Curious to hear your tips on how to act around a Scorpio man in the beginning of the dating phase so he is attracted to you and interested in exploring a relationship with you.

This one is very simple. If you "act" he'll know you are acting and he'll be GONE.

click to expand

LetItB, maybe it was not the right choice of words. I didn't mean it as in pretending/faking. What I meant was how TO BE WITH a Scorpio man, like when you are with him and when you are not with him. If I "be myself" then I would want to tell him that I like him and I would like to see him more than once a week. And that I feel very confused and all kinds of doubts come into my head when he distants himself and I don't hear from him for days on end and so on. How would he take it? I don't know. He may think I don't get him. He may think I have no patience, or maybe just desparate and wanting to rush into things with him. Which is not the case, but I can see how my communicating of my feelings can be construded as that.

I know that your Scorpios don't rush into things and often do things to "test" the other person to see if they are worthy of your time and attention. What if him doing this hot/cold is his way of testing me. People have different standards and different measures which they use to access a relationship potential. I don't really know if that's his.

Last date was great and I felt like we grew closer to each other, lots of making out, etc. We haven't had sex yet. Then he goes silent after that for a week. Reapeas like nothing happened with some chit-chat texting but doesn't make plans to see me. I don't know how to read it. To me, if a man likes a woman, he makes it clear to her. With him, I have no clue which it is because we still talk but I feel like after that last passionate date he has pulled away...

Posted by VanillaShake
@bloodflow ...... we like our alone time but that could be just having a night a week to sit in a game room and work on our hobby...... but if we love someone we typically want to spend as much time with them as possible. We want to merge ourselves with them.

Vanilla, I know that...as my ex used to be that way. When he traveled or was doing stuff around house or working, he was all into himself. He would still call me though if he was away traveling. But when we were together, he was totally present and with me. But that was my marriage.

I am just starting to date this Scorp and I don't know how to read him being 100% on, wanting to talk on the phone, texting through the day for days, makign plans to see me and then fliping the switch and disappearing for a week, not making plans to see me. It doesn't feel good and makes me confused. A part of me want to say to hell with you, you are obviously not interested and I don't want to play this waiting game with you. But another part of me is wondering but what if he started to feel he was starting to like me more and so he decided to pull back and now it's sort of his testing of my patience and I will take this? Will I act all physcho crazy and just send him some nasty text saying "baa-bye" or will I be understanding and not nagging and upset when he comes around...I don't know...and that, uncertainty, kills me. That is NOT my way of communicating or building a strong bond in a relationship.

Posted by OneLove78

I am always honest with men when it comes to what I am looking for and how I feel.

However, I am wary of letting my guard down and letting him know - "hey I like you, maybe even more than I should like you at this point, but I can't help it." It's just I always find myself battling being honest with communicating my feelings versus taking a step back and not saying anything "

This is a complete contradiction from the first sentence to the next paragraph. You are either honest, confident and secure with yourself or you are not.

Posted by OneLove78

LetItB, maybe it was not the right choice of words. I didn't mean it as in pretending/faking. What I meant was how TO BE WITH a Scorpio man, like when you are with him and when you are not with him. If I "be myself" then I would want to tell him that I like him and I would like to see him more than once a week. And that I feel very confused and all kinds of doubts come into my head when he distants himself and I don't hear from him for days on end and so on. How would he take it? I don't know. He may think I don't get him. He may think I have no patience, or maybe just desparate and wanting to rush into things with him. Which is not the case, but I can see how my communicating of my feelings can be construded as that.

He's distancing himself because you are NOT COMMUNICATING with him. Ask yourself, what do you have to lose by being yourself and telling the guy how you feel about him? Don't blame his actions on your inaction. You are assuming what he "may" think and that's gonna be his reason to exit for good.

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships" ~ Henry Winkler

Posted by OneLove78

I know that your Scorpios don't rush into things and often do things to "test" the other person to see if they are worthy of your time and attention. What if him doing this hot/cold is his way of testing me. People have different standards and different measures which they use to access a relationship potential. I don't really know if that's his.

Not only are you assuming all Scorpio's are alike, but this guy doesn't have a chance in hell knowing where you are coming from because you refuse to communicate with him and instead come to a forum full of strangers and choose to communicate with us. Does that make sense? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? Are you afraid of being alone? If so, then try being alone, independent and confident, then it won't matter when a guy loses interest in you instead of thinking it's the end of the world.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by OneLove78

I am always honest with men when it comes to what I am looking for and how I feel.

However, I am wary of letting my guard down and letting him know - "hey I like you, maybe even more than I should like you at this point, but I can't help it." It's just I always find myself battling being honest with communicating my feelings versus taking a step back and not saying anything "

This is a complete contradiction from the first sentence to the next paragraph. You are either honest, confident and secure with yourself or you are not.

click to expand

LIB, I understand that you look at my answers in a black an white mode, and yes I get it that if you are honest, you are honest...But what I meant was this: When I meet a man, I tell him what I am looking for. In this stage of my life - it's a serious relationship leading to marriage and family. Next, if I meet a man and he says he is also on that level, great. I proceed. If I spend time with him a I see that I like him, I will focus only on him, read - I don't date multiple people. So in this case I dropped the ones I went on a date with that I was considering, but that was before I met him. When he texts me, I always answer, never play the waiting till later game. By the way, he does the same - always replies within minutes. He wanted to see me, I was available, so I said yes, with pleasure. When he asked me questions, I gave him an honest answer, as well as my opinion on some things that we discussed.

What I mean by finding myself battling being honest with communicating my feelings was this situation I find myself in with him. It doesn't feel good to be frozen out like this. It doesn't feel good that his communication has lapsed, declined and that he has not made plans to see me. I am not being paranoid or needy here. I can feel the difference in how it was in the beginning and how it is now. But I am not sure if I should be straight up with him and say - "hey you know what, I don't like this and your lack of communication doesn't sit well with me. Do you like me? Do you want to continue something with me? If not, let me know. I will leave you alone." You know why I am having this issue? Because I like the guy and I don't want to make a mistake of pushing him away by being direct like that

and I don't want to make a mistake of pushing him away by being direct like that. Maybe to him it will mean I don't get him and have no patience.

Not only are you assuming all Scorpio's are alike, but this guy doesn't have a chance in hell knowing where you are coming from because you refuse to communicate with him and instead come to a forum full of strangers and choose to communicate with us. Does that make sense? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? Are you afraid of being alone? If so, then try being alone, independent and confident, then it won't matter when a guy loses interest in you instead of thinking it's the end of the world.

LIB, yes I am here because I need some input/insight on this. I don't want to talk to my family or my friends about it, so seems to be easier to ask advice from strangers. That's why forums of this sort exist.

And as for your last sentence, I have no problem being alone. I am actually a loner by nature and I am fine with just being by myself, can find things to entertain myself. I have been "alone" aka not in a relationship (but dated here and there) for 2,5 years now. Plus, I do well for myself career/finances/education wise. Confidence, yes, can be an issue, and I am aware of that and have been working on that. Although none of the people who know me would ever say/see myself as not being confident. It's just the way I carry myself around people, maybe I mask my insecurities well, I don't know. But it's not like I walk around looking for a man to love me. I want to find someone to share and create memories together, yes, but merely dating/spending time with a man for the sake of not being alone has never interested me.

Oh my... I read the other one, too.

Posted by OneLove78
To him my being direct about not liking him slowing down our interactions may scream "SHE HEARD NOTHING OF WHAT I TOLD HER."

Sooo...

Why is this all on his terms?

Why are you scared?

Maybe he senses your lack of self-assurance

where he is concerned, you sweet mutable sign, you.



You showed us Your terms... what you need.

If you cant' meet somewhere in the middle, it won't

work anyway.


Like someone else said, be courageous.

Don't pussy-foot around him-- people pick up on things

like that and it can be unattractive.


What if he's wondering why the hell you won't get in touch.

Be who you are so you can be dealt with... jeez. 😛

You know why I am having this issue? Because I like the guy and I don't want to make a mistake of pushing him away by being direct like that.

You have Venus in Scorpio, which means that, theoretically, the way you love would be how a Scorpio just is. (Which from the sound of it so far is looking rather familiar!) Is there any chance these feelings you're having of not wanting to push, could be why he's pulling back every now and then? Could he be having these very same feelings, too? Maybe he doesn't want to push you away either. Maybe he doesn't know the depth of your feelings for him, so he pulls back, waiting to see if you will follow (if she calls me, she likes me!). Tests are silly. Tests are illogical. But Scorpio's overly instinctive emotions aren't always, well, logical.

"Hey you know what, I don't like this and your lack of communication doesn't sit well with me. Do you like me? Do you want to continue something with me? If not, let me know. I will leave you alone."

Noooooo. [Panic. She's mad at me. I don't sit well with her. I'm being told to let her know whether or not to leave me alone. Is this a threat? Is she leaving me?] Logic shutting down... defense mode kicking in... BOOM.

Imagine being you, feeling like you might come across as pushing, so you hold back, bottle things up, and feel about ready to explode. Then this message comes to you. Easily, you could inadvertently unleash something that's been pent up because of feeling under attack, out of control, and upset. Ever hear of the famous Scorpio 'sting'? Usually it's just this. Usually it's a foot-in-mouth mistake fueled by pent up emotion. Silly thing, really. But hard to undo. The beautiful thing is when someone can forgive Scorpio for his foot-in-mouth disease, but the simpler thing is to avoid it altogether.

Try this:

"Hey, I miss you. Do you miss me? When you go from communicating all the time to pulling back, and then back and forth, it bothers me, because I don't know what to think. I like when I can predict something, because it makes me feel comfortable."

Keep it about you, so that it doesn't come across as an attack, but also don't hold anything back that you feel you must ask. Tell him your needs because as empathic and psychic as Scorpio is credited for, he can't literally read your mind. So long as he's calm he'll answer truthfully.

Posted by OneLove78

.... tips on how to act around a Scorpio man in the beginning of the dating phase so he is attracted to you and interested in exploring a relationship with you.

Translation: How do make a false impression?

Posted by OneLove78

And what was an epic failure?

click to expand

Epic failure is the first quote.

You're not alone .... from where I observe the world, the vast majority of people actively and willfully make false impressions of themselves with intentions of securing a partnership.

How ridiculously blind people are. You're not garnering a loyal, trusting and sincere relationship considering you are pretending to be what they want, instead of being how you are.

It is also easily noticeable that these same people continue in their delusion by whining about not being taken or regarded seriously ... and ... they also believe that their partner isn't loving them for who they are.

What else can a person do, except shake their heads at this kind ignorance?


It is realized by me that that ^^^ concept flew over your head, as well as the majority of every person reading this, because by virtue of this thread, in where you are asking people how to pretend to be someone else = you don't have the mental capacity to grasp something so elementary.

One love this seems to be common on here. People jump in and assume too much without asking questions. Its hard to explain complicated relationships to anyone. But after letting my guy disappear and go quiet or indifferent with me I was more miserable than happy while all of this was going on. I was the one that communicating and explained why I felt the way I did so he wouldn't be confused or misread me. But in the end he hurt me with his silence to the point I walked away. Whatever sign I forget who advised it on here earlier that to drop someone who spends days not communicating with u and I was all playing the other side of that because that's what I was trying to do with My guy. Well I was wrong. No one deserves to suffer for anyone not ready and not willing to communicate that. I was in love with my aqua but one too many times of neglect and I'm burned and done. Some guys might not be ready But they think u are great and might care but they can't put us on hold till they are ready.

Posted by Reincarnation
Be feminine.

And try not to nag too much, Virgo.

Re, I am nothing but feminine when we are (were) spending time together....But it's going on week 3 this week that he has not made any plans to see me...So how am I supposed to be feminine when we are apart? I know that it is masculine energy "to do" and it is feminine energy "to wait/reciprocate." We communicate via texting, almost every day now, he seems to want to keep in contact, but to be honest I don't know why. To me, just pointless texting back and forth is not what consitutes a relationship or at least not what will move things ahead...So I want to ask him why but then it would be pushing, as well as I want to ask if he is still interested and wants to see me - that would also be "doing"...I am becomign frustrated.

Is there any chance these feelings you're having of not wanting to push, could be why he's pulling back every now and then? Could he be having these very same feelings, too? Maybe he doesn't want to push you away either. Maybe he doesn't know the depth of your feelings for him, so he pulls back, waiting to see if you will follow (if she calls me, she likes me!).

Hi D, thanks for your input. Actually, he does know how I feel...to an extend. I communicated that to him and there is no mistaking that I like him and also that it doesn't feel good when commucating is so sporadic. I think after that he came back on and made an effort to be in contact, even called me, which seems to be not his thing. But that only lasted for like couple of days. Now it's back to same - barely there texts...And last weekend he made a point of asking what my plans were for the weekend and told me that he was hanging with his friends, didn't make any plans to see me, yet kept asking me what I ended up doing over the Super Bowl weekend. That didn't really make me feel good. Even something as simple as an hour lunch meeting would be nice as I wanted to see him.

We were discussing something about the weekend and he said I am sure you made friends at the party adn I said yes, but because I am reserved, I tend to just let it happen and let someone approach me. During that discussion I made it clear that I don't make the first move, I wait for the otehr person (man or woman, romantic, business or friendship related) and if they do, great. If not, I kinda let it ride its course. BUT if I am really interested in someone, I can wait and even approach them, kinda probe to see their level of interest. And if they don't reciprocate, or I see that we are not on the same level, I will just lose interest eventually...This was my indirect message to him. I wanted to see if he will change his way of communication with me. So far, nothing has changed. Exchanged a couple of texts here and there. He hasn't made any plans to see me. This weekend will mark 3 weeks since we last saw each other...

Posted by VanillaShake
One love this seems to be common on here. People jump in and assume too much without asking questions. Its hard to explain complicated relationships to anyone. But after letting my guy disappear and go quiet or indifferent with me I was more miserable than happy while all of this was going on. I was the one that communicating and explained why I felt the way I did so he wouldn't be confused or misread me. But in the end he hurt me with his silence to the point I walked away. Whatever sign I forget who advised it on here earlier that to drop someone who spends days not communicating with u and I was all playing the other side of that because that's what I was trying to do with My guy. Well I was wrong. No one deserves to suffer for anyone not ready and not willing to communicate that. I was in love with my aqua but one too many times of neglect and I'm burned and done. Some guys might not be ready But they think u are great and might care but they can't put us on hold till they are ready.

Hi Vanilla! So are you suggesting that I keep reaching out to him when I notice that our communication is dying down? I don't want to be the one always initiating. Sometimes it's him texting me first, then I do it. But I feel like he does it only if I don't contact him for like a day or two. Like it's already been discussed on here - I don't want to play a game of "waiting around" or "on his terms" I just want it to be a normal relationship - if he likes me and I like him, let's see each other, spend time together, get to know each other better, see if there is a potential that we see in each other and explore an opportunity of a relationship. To me it's that simple. Why does it have to be about coming on too strong, getting me to like him, then disappearing/pulling back for a week, slowly reappearing the next, but never making plans to see me, yet not cutting off this pointless texting back and forth...If he doesn't want to see me or progress things with me any further, I want him to tell me, and not indirectly through this kind of sporadic communication (I can't read his mind). Then I can move on from him. Right now, I don't date anyone because that's not in my nature - if I like someone and want that one person, I am focused on them...Frustrating to say the least...sigh...

Posted by e11e
go to the scorpio board and ask scorpio men.

Hi E, I did, under a different topic though. Started as me being interested in how to be mysterious with a Scorp, but the underlying reason was this situation I am going through with this guy. Trying to get some input on my situation from both sides.

Posted by deathnirvana
This may help you.

"He will not allow you to strip him of his veil of mystery, get to him and simply become the one who tamed him. He will feel much more into it and much more comfortable if he's the one going after you! So even if you have to create that sort of a feeling just to feed his ego — do so.

Now, this does not mean — play hard to get or be uncatchable or whatever. As I??ve already said this won't work. What I'm suggesting is that you try and entice him with some mystery! Don't put it all out there at once! Let him probe you a bit and get interested himself!"

DN, thanks for the input. This is why I had posted the topic in the Scorp's forum "Scorpio Men - Describe Mystery." Maybe I am trying to dissect this too much, but I am not exactly sure how I am to create mystery if we have not seen each other in 3 weeks. So me letting him know about myself and overloading him with details/info is not even an issue. I am certainly not needy or cligny or nagging about his lack of communication. When we keep in contact via texting, it's not like I text him every day. There are days when he approaches me first and I respond, other times it's me texting him. I think we have a good balance there. There are days when I just let him be. Like now, it's been 2 days and I haven't heard from him, but I haven't texted him either and at this point I've decided I am not going to. I've noticed that if he doesn't hear from him for a few days, he then approaches me...

But back to my frustration with the whole thing - at this point it feels like we've become texting buddies and I am not interested in that. Do I just let him know this next time he texts me "hey what are you up to?"

Any other tips, insights on how I should handle this situation?

That's all I have lol

I myself love confusing women with all kinds of signals and making them go crazy because it lets me feel the power that I have over them. And that itself is pure joy.

No worries! I appreciate you chimming in anyways. If I were in my 20's, I'd probably dig the whole roller coaster ride with confusion, mixed signals and all kinds of head games. But I am not, so this does not entice me. Hence, if this is what is going on here and he is doing the same thing you just described, then I already know the end to the story...

Posted by deathnirvana
That's sad.

Look on the bright side, there's sure to be hundreds of old single scorpio men living near you

click to expand

Lol, no worries! I'll live. And yes, more like there are many men in their 30's out there who are stable and who don't hold the notion that in order to have an exciting relationship with someone they have to play fucking mind games.

Before you wander off, have you tried this yet?

"Hey, I miss you. Do you miss me? When you go from communicating all the time to pulling back, and then back and forth, it bothers me, because I don't know what to think. I like when I can predict something, because it makes me feel comfortable."

You were so worried about pushing him away, and now you're ready to leave, yourself. What can this hurt?

Hi D! No I haven't tried saying it, it's just I don't feel comfortable doing that because then I will be the one putting my feelings out there first. It makes me feel vulnerable, especially considering that he has not asked to see me in almost 3 weeks. To add to that, I did let him know previously that I really liked him and was interested in him, as well as opened myself up to him about what type of relationship and connection I am seeking with a man. I let him in on some of my deepest emotions that I haven't shared with anyone before. I think it's actually a normal reaction for any human being to be frustrated about lack of communication or be apprehensive about putting more of one's feelings out there if a person is acting hot and cold. I don't even know if he wants to continue anything with me at this point (he went silent again; it's been 3 days since we exchanged any texts), sooo....

It comes down to ....... is it worth it to you? I decided to just keep my relationship in limbo till I finally have him talking to me again and not doing his disappearing and one word answers stuff. Cause in the end... I gave him my heart.... and as I try to walk away that connection is too strong.. I get scared pretty easily and need that reinforcement that the person still wants me around. I don't doubt that he loves me but for some reason I guess cause us scorpios are constantly thinking and thinking with emotions mostly especially in situations where relationships are concerned it can definitely be up and down.

If you like this guy.. tell him so... he maybe scared to say anything cause he was burned badly in the past when he started developing feelings... sometimes you just gotta throw urself out there and see what happens... you don't want to end up with regret

Hi Vanilla! To be honest, I don't know if he is worth my waiting around. I don't know him all that well, but I want to get to know him. All I know at this point is that we clicked on the very first date and with each date my interest in him was getting stronger. The funny thing is it's nothing in particular, it's just I like being with him. It would not matter to me what we are doing, dinners at expensive restaurants or just taking a walk on the beach??_And like I previously mentioned, he knows I liked him, that was verbalized — we both said it to each other I think like on the second date.

I guess what I am having difficulty with is his seemingly growing distance after the last time we saw each other. I am starting to feel like we somehow lost that momentum of getting closer to each other, which on the last date definitely started to feel like we were getting closer. And I don't do well with distance. He knows it. I told him that I never understood how people can do a long distance relationship, coz for me the physical closeness and intimacy has to be there and I have to see the person to sustain that bond or develop even a deeper one. All of this — him being hot and cold, being distant, not communicating for days makes me think that he either totally missed what I said was important to me, or that he is just not that interested in me, therefore, he is acting this way??_

I think that when you are starting to see someone, it is important to show that you are interested in the other in order for them to feel comfortable to open up to you. It's a two-way street. Lately, I??ve been feeling like I??ve made a turn to a one-way street and just keep following that road hoping that it will become a two-way again. I am totally with you as far as not wanting to have any regrets and I??ve always given my all when it comes to the relationships I cared about, but once again, I need something to feed off of, something that lets me know that the other person wants me too. At this point, I am starting to feel like he has abandoned something that had a potential to develop and it really sucks to feel that way??_