Debra's Reply To StringsAttached

:: No, SHE didn't write this thread, but she had plenty of things to say! ::

Strings,

Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to write a helpful letter to my wife. To say that I underestimated the violence of her response to it would be a gross understatement [hereafter known as MISTAKE #1 - and yes, there will be more!]. We had the worst fight ever. I came real close to shaking her senseless. She came real close to slapping the sh1t outta me. But -- don't feel bad!! We said things that needed to be said, and cleared the air, and we're both better off for it. So much for a boring Sunday!!

I printed off your letter, starting at Dear Debra, and ending at ...might just pleasantly surprise you. The only change I made to the text was changing Debra to her real name (I thought it might confuse her otherwise). This was MISTAKE #2 - she thought you knew her REAL NAME after I've repeatedly assured her that this is an anonymous forum!

She was sitting on the love seat in our great room, just after lunch time. I asked her if she'd mind reading a letter to her from one of my Astrology Friends (as she calls us DXP'ers).

I knew it was bad when she stood up. Then, she threw the letter down on the coffee table, and confronted me: "What is this supposed to mean?? That I shouldn't have married you! YOU tell HER that SHE can kiss MY ass!" Before I could respond, she stormed out the back door. I thought she was running off, so I followed her, but she just wanted to get me outside where she could yell at me without disturbing The Twins (down for their nap)...

FYI: My Scorp is a good Christian woman, and doesn't like to cuss. Well, out on our back porch she called me everything but the Son Of God! I don't think she took a breath for at least 10 minutes...

She also made it quite clear that she doesn't "debate" me because: I always have to be right, and I'm a sarcastic butt-hole...

Name-calling doesn't bother me, but then, she said something about how I must be talking behind her back with you, and of course I denied it, and she accused me of lying to her. Whoa! I grabbed her by the shoulders, and told her to take that G-ddammed sh1t back - that she knows I've never lied to her!

Then, I made MISTAKE #3, and said that I was not that lying sack of sh1t she married the first time!

Holy F0cking Sh1t! She didn't cry, but her eyes got real wet, and she said, "You ALWAYS throw that up in my face!!"

Then, I made MISTAKE #4, and accused her of always comparing Me to The Weasel (her first husband who cheated on her all the time), when I've always been faithful to her...

She shook loose, and started to slap me, but didn't. Instead, she started squawling and heaving like she never has before, and I immediately fell back. I can count on one hand the number of times in the two years I've known her that my Scorp has really cried. I didn't know what to do. I kinda fell into the glider, and put my head in my hands. I was shaking...

After a minute or two, I felt her fingers in my hair, and realized she was "petting" me. I looked up at her, saw she was calmer, and I apologized for being a jerk, and getting her upset with me. She apologized for over-reacting...

NO MORE DETAILS.

We made up. No divorce pending. If anything, we understand each other better, and that's the best you can expect from a knock-down / drag-out.

And like I've said before: Scorpio & Virgo can suck at verbal communication, but we "get" each other well enough to overcome that drawback...

Thank God!!

""I grabbed her by the shoulders, and told her to take that G-ddammed sh1t back - that she knows I've never lied to her! ""


lmao! you totally made this story up. sometimes i think you're p-angel. lol it's good though...

SS/Notso: "you totally made this story up."

Prove it.

I'm not the confessed profligate liar.

You are proof of the axiom: Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one. Assholes have two...

Geriatric D


I only said that b/c it's so melodramatic. Carry on...

"I only said that b/c it's so melodramatic."

Bullsh1t! No Scorp should ever try to out-feint a Virgo. I read you... loud & clear, Notso... you should know that by now...

FYI: I'm more concerned with Strings' reaction than yours...

Dyar, I hope you know that Debra's not done with you. 😛

OK... any more Good News??

I meant "done". 😉

She's a Scorpio so she's got the vengeful thing in her and she's gonna sting you for that. 😢

Do you know what to do now?

""I read you... loud & clear, Notso... ""



No, not really. Few do. ::shrugs::

MsAristocracy: "Do you know what to do now?"

Uh-huh. Already did it - three times!

ScorpSuperior: No, not really. Few do. ::shrugs::

Keep believing it. My Scorp does, too.

fumingli_scorp,

This is not a suck-up comment: Your inputs have been closer to reality than you may realize. And yet, as a Virgo, I reserve the right to ignore them - at my own peril!

She let you off the hook for three humps? Damn, she is in love lol.

MsAristocracy: "She let you off the hook for three humps? Damn, she is in love..."

... No... I'm that DAMN GOOD!

Plus, she knows where I stand, but some times she wants to see it. Just because my lips are moving doesn't mean my heart is...

debra is your wife?

Yes.

she reacted to a letter by a dxp user?

Yes.

why did she become so pissed?

She's a Scorp who loves a Virgo. She should be receiving cash donations.

"...i still did not understand the whole thing..."

Scorpio = Jealous + Suspicious

Debra = Scorpio Wife

Debra + Scorpio = (Jealous + Suspicious) x 2 + ((Stories Of Internet Trists) x 10000))

ROTFL!!@don't forget to put on your smile.... you know the one that looks a bit silly... when you get 3 teeth showing at the front...

I lurk around the virgo board and Dyar you had me fooled, jus when I thought I found a man that was drama free...shrugs..oh well off to continue my search lol.

tiki33,

What I related in this thread was not DRAMA as Virg understands it. My Scorp's feelings were quite genuine, and so are mine. Neither of us was trying to play the other. If it sounds like that, forgive my crappy use of the English language.

fumingli_scorp,

You've advised me that my opinion means more to my Scorp than I might realize. That's the lesson I learned today. Merci beaucoup!!

In showing her the letter .. and knowing you were aware that her reaction would be as such = creating drama.

""Dyar you had me fooled, jus when I thought I found a man that was drama free...""


haha! Of all the Virguys I know and have dealt with, I've yet to meet one who was drama-free. They talk a bunch of mumbo jumbo about drama being a turn-off, when in reality, they live and breathe dramatizations. They were born for the theatre- the world, their stage. A life without drama for a Virgo, is a life not worth living.

" .. she said something about how I must be talking behind her back with you, and of course I denied it, and she accused me of lying to her. Whoa! I grabbed her by the shoulders, and told her to take that G-ddammed sh1t back - that she knows I've never lied to her!"




Which of course, you do talk about her behind her back with Strings and in here ..... sometimes, in very intimate and personal detail ....


Of course you lied by denying it ... what other option did you have?

"Can't you seem to convince her that I'm just one of the nicest, most charming, truly modest VirGals you've ever met in your life"



Did you really use the word 'modest' .......

I don't know much about this situation be it scorpio, virgo etc etc but for me if I was Deb, it would be embarrassing knowing that everyone on this forum know bits and pieces of my life without my permission. Has anyone thought about using discretion inregards to this issue, it just doesn't feel right, notice I said FEEL. Dyar you say that you intended no drama but DRAMA is written all over this issue. I'm not knocking you or your dxp buddies b/c it's nice having friends to bounce issues off of and in virtual land it feels safe but your crossing the line a bit.

"I don't know where the problem is of sharing your experiences about someone you deeply care for."

No problem as long as EVERYONE is fully aware of what's being said at all times and whom it's being said to...if my husband came to me and suddenly let me in on an intimate conversation he had with a virtual online friend well I would be pissed lol and my reaction would probably have been the same as Deb's but I probably would have went ahead and scratched his eye balls out LOL but on a good note DY says its helping his relationship so no harm no foul. I think it's a peculiar way of behaving but in the end if something good came of it then I see no reason to judge DY although I still believe it's drama it seems to be working for him.

Oh my ... well, I'm not too familiar with the situation ... but, I've posted very personal things about an ex boyfriend of mine, BUT he didn't know about 🙂

Cappysweetie .. it's not really about posting stuff that's personal, as much as it's about 'honesty'.

Just thought I would tell you that, so you understood the grief in here.

Cappysweetie .. it's not really about posting stuff that's personal, as much as it's about 'honesty'.

Just thought I would tell you that, so you understood the grief in here.

Ohhh, I see. Like I said I haven' read anything really just skimmed.

DyarStra?e:

MsAristocracy: "She let you off the hook for three humps? Damn, she is in love..."

... No... I'm that DAMN GOOD!

* * * * *

I knew that already dude. We don't allow ourselves to get in crap we can't get out of and look good as we exit. 😉

:: sighs ::


I tried to warn about Deb's Stinger being drawn ....

"I DO NOT CARE IF DY/SA/DEBRA (I DOUBT IS SHE EXISTS!)"

LOL! OMG...I was just thinking that last night! I know a lot of Scorp women, and I don't know a single one who wouldn't take matters into her own hands in a situation like this. They would have jumped on the computer immediately and told someone off right then and there. They certainly wouldn't have let the person they were pissed at do the talking for them. And they certainly wouldn't let their husband log back on the internet after an incident like that either.

P-Angel: "Which of course, you do talk about her behind her back with Strings and in here ..... sometimes, in very intimate and personal detail ...."

WRONG. COMPLETELY WRONG.

There's a shortcut to my DyarStra?e profile on the Windows desktop of our primary home PC (the one we all use). I have the browser set up so all she has to do is click on OK, and my user name and password load for her...

My Wife can log in as me on DXP any time she wants to, and I've shown her how to navigate my posts and the site itself to read what I've written. NO SECRETS from her whatsoever!

Cut the crap, Angelina. You're using this episode to boost your own brand while diminishing mine. Have at it. But let's at least be honest about your motives.

Of course she did .... playing a game of competition through deceptive manipulation with intentions of scoring over on a woman, just so she can taunt it in her face ....


Oh, yes .. she knew ........... and so did Dyr, for in Mistake #1 he mentions that the anger was more voilent than he anticipated, which means he ANTICIPATED an angry reaction.


They both knew ... fuckers !!!!!!!!

tiki33: "Dyar you say that you intended no drama but DRAMA is written all over this issue. I'm not knocking you or your dxp buddies b/c it's nice having friends to bounce issues off of and in virtual land it feels safe but your crossing the line a bit."

Yeah, you're right. My intention in giving her The Letter was to show her that debating with me could be fun. I should have realized that she doesn't see the Internet the same way I do. I screwed up. She pointed that out to me. Clearly!!

I share more on DXP than I do with my friends because it is anonymous, and I can get a wider range of views & responses. Since I don't have Gal Pals, having DXP ladies chime in has been very helpful!!

From my point of view, our fight wasn't the least bit dramatic, it was real. She was genuinely upset, and so was I, and that's not a terrible thing -- WHEN we work it out. And we did.

StringsAttached: "...please tell me your wife doesn't see me as the Wicked Witch of the West. For Pete's sake, I've been more respectful and verbally decent with you on here than all the women on this board combined!"

Uh, she'd probably like it better if you were the Wicked Witch of the West rather than a nice smart Virgo Gal. But don't sweat it!! We had a fight, we got some sh1t straightened out, and all is well again. (Yeah, I know, she's a Scorp - and could be putting an explosive device under my toilet seat while I'm at work today!)

fumingli_scorp: "I don't think i need anybody's permission to write about them and my experiences. We all are anonymous here. We don't know Debra in real life. If my husband would have taken the time and energy and interest to write about me to know me better, this would be the greatest compliment for me. It eternalizes one in some respect. Anyone reading DY's threads will always remember his stories and his love to Deb."

Thank you for your kind words. I agree with you up to a point, but we should also remember that we participate in DXP because we understand the nature of this forum, and we're interested in the topics. My Scorp is not a member here, and too often I've taken the I'm a Computer Person & you're not brush-off attitude towards her concerns about DXP. She's actually been very patient with me, considering that there's no 100% guarantee of anything on a computer! That's one of the things that bugs her, too...

From her point of view, this is sorta like me sharing my diary with a bunch of strangers at a mall. I don't agree with her perspective, but I understand where she's coming from...

sagigoat: "You like oranges while she prefers apples. Do you have to force her to like oranges?"

No, of course not!! But, she's nudged me towards being less rigid, more spontaneous, and not stuck in my routines (typical Virgo traits). Why should I not be able to nudge her towards being more open with her opinions, and willing to debate with me?? If a Virgo can change some, why can't a Scorp? What's the problem with that? It's a fairness question for a Virgo - we like to play fair.

(Like: She said I bring The Weasel - her ex-husband - up too much when we argue, so I've agreed to stop doing that. I believe in fighting fair, too!!)

"The only reason it would make some sense to me why Dy you are doing this is because you are fighting for attention with your newborn twins from Debra."

No, this has been an issue between us long before The Twins arrived. That's what Strings was trying to say earlier, and her letter was meant to help resolve the issue...

"I also find it distasteful and disrespectful that you team up with another woman to try changing your wife's non argumentative ways..."

I didn't team up with StringsAttached. I didn't ask her to write The Letter. But boy! Debra sure as sh1t took it that way -- that's what got her so p1ssed to start with. I was an inconsiderate oaf to ask her to read it; and, she took me to task for it, and I apologized to her.

"...being inconsiderate and stuck in your own ways can push your partner away from you and closer to someone else."

I agree. I knew she's been extra sensitive these past months, and I should've kept my Internet sh1t to myself. I screwed up. I've never claimed to be perfect.

^Nyx^: "i used to think that deb knew that u came here n discussed abt her.."

She has known, and still does know. I told her about DXP back when we were dating - even though some DXP'ers thought I was nutz to spill the beans. But I don't keep secrets from her - and she knows that, too...

"...she must have thought that u discuss astrology n only astro related stuff on here..."

No, she knew the content of my posts (she has some of them printed out). And, when she asked me to cool it, I did - and I asked DXPNET to get rid of my original dyrstr8z profile, which had the most personal stuff. While I was waiting on DXPNET, I gutted some of the worst threads myself.

WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT

I've mentioned it before, but let me repeat: Debra can log in to DXP as me at any time, so if you send me a PM, it may get read by her first...

Now that's she home all day with The Twins, she has more opportunity to read this stuff. That's cool with me, but I wanted y'all to know.

(And no, that's not an invitation to you smart-asses to send me some naughty mail hoping she'll get it, and then come after me with a machete!)

VLC: "...I'm sure it was a nuclear meltdown..."

Almost! She's never been that upset with me before. I felt like a complete jerk -- and an idiot, because I didn't see it coming...

Maybe it's a Virgo thing. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe it's a Virgo Guy thing. We can be blind as bats some times -- no wonder we avoid emotional sh1t! I thought SA's letter was brilliant and funny, but my Scorp did not. Two very different readings of the same document!!

Underestimated .. excuse me .. it was the word underestimated .. however, this still implies that a reaction was anticipated.

"To say that I underestimated the violence of her response to it would be a gross understatement [hereafter known as MISTAKE #1"

"She's never been that upset with me before. I felt like a complete jerk -- and an idiot, because I didn't see it coming..."


oh yes .. you saw it coming, alright .. for you underestimated the voilence of her response .. which means, you anticipated a voilent reaction, just not one as intense as what you got.

What a false image you attempt to project ... it's clearly visible in all the contridictions you make .. the above two quotes show that you played her, Dyr .. no matter how much you deny it.

You knew ....

"and he's firing up one missile after another on an Internet forum of all places to make up for what he ain't gettin' on the dance floor. "


Could you imagine getting a message like that MsPisces?

Any Scorpio woman would fiercely throttle ANY woman who attempted to make such a claim ... and we know the female Scorpio behaviour, oh so well, don't we?

Does make one wonder, doesn't it? Why wouldn't she be her natural self and utterly DESTROY the woman who would threaten her turf?


Curious .......

"Does make one wonder, doesn't it? Why wouldn't she be her natural self and utterly DESTROY the woman who would threaten her turf?"

Because she doesn't exist.

Well, I wish I could share your defense with his innocence, though, I respect your position in believing he meant no harm.

I've witnessed too many manipulations he's done in here to believe in his innocence ... most things he does is pre-meditated. In fact, he often puts up a disclaimer saying he wrote it at work ... which means, it's not reactionary, rather, calculated.

violence - 4: undue alteration (as of wording or sense in editing a text) [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/violence]

In my original string of thought: "Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to write a helpful letter to my wife. To say that I underestimated the violence of her response to it would be a gross understatement..."

I should've been plainer for the less literate on DXP, but I ran across the phrase in one of those old-fashioned printed and bound things called a novel, and it stuck with me, and seemed appropriate in this case, since her reading of the letter lead to actual violence in its third meaning - 3b: vehement feeling or expression.

For the DXP Christians, recall this bit of scripture:

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. [Luke 2:9]

The shepherds were so afraid they got SORES?? Mercy!

I was raised on the KJV, and classic literature, and some times my language is a little... old-fashioned??

(I think that use of the word violence is in the novel, Madame Bovary - but I'll check for sure when I can. I seem to recall a scene with a similar misread correspondence in that great work.)

P-Angel: "I've witnessed too many manipulations he's done in here to believe in his innocence ..."

Lord! You got bigger balls than mine!

You lecturing me about manipulation is like Caligula calling Mother Teresa cruel!!

I agree with alot of what has been said here, particularly the conclusions of Sagigoat.


Bottomline:

- D is full of shyt

- Strings, also full of shyt

- The dramatics, while hilarious, are far too fanciful. From beginning to present. The Walt Disney courtship, hasty wedding, and damn near hair-trigger conversion into The Ingalls family. It all just...seems...so...calculated.

MsPisces: "As far as Deb not even being real, IDK."

Nobody knows. That's the whole point of an anonymous forum. It's a free-for-all of ideas -- like mental crack cocaine & crystal meth combined for us Mercury types!!!!

It's great therapy for me, which is why I believe my real life wife indulges me about it -- it keeps me outta her hair (MOST of the time!). She didn't ask me to stop participating today, even though she was madder than hell on wheels at me yesterday!

Why? Because she doesn't exist... maybe. Or, she thinks this is all just a bunch of silly sh1t, and as long as I don't pester her with it, she's cool.

ScorpSuperior: "...Walt Disney courtship..."

Which classic?? Beauty and the Beast? Cinderella? Herbie Fully Loaded??

My dyrstr8z threads are gone, but I seem to recall a lot of whining and vacillating way back then...

ahaha@MsP


aww, don't be scared. this place isn't THAT bad. the veterans will tell you. it's wierd, i know, but i can pick up on vibes even via internet, so i know who's cool and who's not. the only ppl i've made acquaintances with on here are ppl who i am certain really do exist, in the same manner that they have presented themselves. but i agree, the internet can be scary, and it is always wise to stay guarded.


^ that probably doesn't make any sense, but it makes sense in my head.