do you always think about..

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by puhleeze on Saturday, April 9, 2016 and has 18 replies.

Why Do I Constantly Think About What Others Are Thinking

Many people, especially Virgos, tend to focus on others' thoughts and expectations, which can lead to overthinking and anxiety. This habit often stems from a desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict. Learning to prioritize your own feelings and setting healthy boundaries can help reduce this mental burden and improve your interactions.

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

what others are thinking? it is hard enough to be constantly thinking and then to think what others are thinking is torture to the mind. i always find that my actions towards others are based on what they might be expecting. rarely i let go and just do things because i feel like doing them. i do things for myself, but when it comes to interacting with others, i think too much. should i talk, will they mind, what if they do not want to talk with me at this moment. hmm why can't i just pick up the phone and talk to my hearts content, why can't i just write when i want and not worry that the person might get bothered. this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by puhleeze
why can't i just pick up the phone and talk to my hearts content, why can't i just write when i want and not worry that the person might get bothered. this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

Because you have invested a lot in the image of your character and you're afraid it will be assassinated if you'd make the tiniest mistake.

click to expand

okay, i get it about wanting to maintain an image, but here i am talking about freely being able to talk when you feel like talking, not the talk that will assassinate my character talk. like hey i am thinking about this person and want to talk, but wait what if they are not in the mood to talk with me right now? that kind of feeling. this dilemma is not for everyone though.

Profile picture of Damnata
@Damnata
16 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Posted by puhleeze
this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

no, that's martyrdom.

anyway to answer...i am only concerned with what people think in terms of what might affect me and then i ask point blank. i like debating too but that's about as far as it goes.

i talk, i pick up the phone, i write, i act (as in using actions, not staging). i don't overthink myself into passivity.

Profile picture of fauxfuchsia
@fauxfuchsia
10 Years

i didn't read what you wrote properly the first time, but now i have

while virgos do think a lot, i don't think your problem is a virgo problem, but more like anxiety and self esteem issues

Profile picture of kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
14 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by puhleeze
why can't i just pick up the phone and talk to my hearts content, why can't i just write when i want and not worry that the person might get bothered. this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

Because you have invested a lot in the image of your character and you're afraid it will be assassinated if you'd make the tiniest mistake.

okay, i get it about wanting to maintain an image, but here i am talking about freely being able to talk when you feel like talking, not the talk that will assassinate my character talk. like hey i am thinking about this person and want to talk, but wait what if they are not in the mood to talk with me right now? that kind of feeling. this dilemma is not for everyone though.

click to expand

The more someone stops talking to me the more I detach.

Profile picture of Weeds
@Weeds
11 Years1,000+ Posts

To be able to serve in a useful way.
To have a high standard in self to reflect properly
To have success always and never fail.
It is not about thinking how ppl perceive but about how well I come across as myself and not what ppl expect.

My brain hurts now...

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Weeds
To be able to serve in a useful way.
To have a high standard in self to reflect properly
To have success always and never fail.
It is not about thinking how ppl perceive but about how well I come across as myself and not what ppl expect.

My brain hurts now...

exactly brain hurts..

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by starwars
do you have this with everyone? even friends?

i do say what i want and talk when i want to, lots of times i say stuff i shouldne be saying, if i was around people whom i know are sensitive or older than me i try to watch my mouth and use a filter, still i always say what i want but with little concern about the other people' feelings

i guess my problem is not about talking whatever, more about talking whenever. yes, i have a filter on most times, but can have a good time with friends easily. its just that i am so used to listening that when i want to do the talking i put too much thought into should i call, should i write etc.. maybe not wanting to be an unwanted guest? am okay with close friends and family. guess maybe just the ones i am conscious about more.. if i have no feelings attached, it is easier for me to tune out..

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Damnata

Posted by puhleeze
this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

no, that's martyrdom.

anyway to answer...i am only concerned with what people think in terms of what might affect me and then i ask point blank. i like debating too but that's about as far as it goes.

i talk, i pick up the phone, i write, i act (as in using actions, not staging). i don't overthink myself into passivity.

click to expand

maybe only with people that matter or are part of my life. with acquaintances, strangers, i don't put much though into what they are thinking. i can be socially polite with them and leave it at that, or even backout if don't feel like being social without worrying about what they would think. in the end with everyone i mostly anyways do what i want, with due respect to all.

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by puhleeze
why can't i just pick up the phone and talk to my hearts content, why can't i just write when i want and not worry that the person might get bothered. this is curse of being virgo i guess.. thinking of the other persons state of mind rather than your own.

Because you have invested a lot in the image of your character and you're afraid it will be assassinated if you'd make the tiniest mistake.

okay, i get it about wanting to maintain an image, but here i am talking about freely being able to talk when you feel like talking, not the talk that will assassinate my character talk. like hey i am thinking about this person and want to talk, but wait what if they are not in the mood to talk with me right now? that kind of feeling. this dilemma is not for everyone though.

The more someone stops talking to me the more I detach.

click to expand

hmm this is true for me too..

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

though oddly enough with some people, not talking does not equal distance, it just means there is nothing to talk about, or we are far and doing different things in life, but we can talk anytime we want. that bond is different.