Love or control? (Page 2)

Posted by gia

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by gia

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by gia

Howdie ho!!

So my virguy and I have been otherwise doing good;we'll be completing a year together next month end. However, there are few things about him which really throw me off.

For example ..

1) It has been over 3 months since he stopped saying an I love you. We'd always say it to each other before.I even addressed it to him a month ago in Jan and he said " Do our parents say an I love you to each other or to us daily? They don't because its obvious that they do. If we remain stuck and cry at such things our relationship will never mature. It's obvious that I love you. I told him it just makes me happy so at the most all he did was send me pic with I love you written on it on Valentines day. He says I should just know instead of questioning him.

2) His parents went out of town this entire week so he asked me to come over. It was my first time at his place and we spent 4 days overnight together. It was great,however, few things left me confused,again. We both were taking a shower together and he noticed some dandruff on my hair(I know it's not pleasant 😢 ) so he took charge of my hair. First he mocked the hell out of me. Taunted me. Then he threw away my shampoo bottle, took his and shampooed my hair,rinsed it and dried it. Then mocked me again.

3) Then he looked at my face and said he hates the way I style my hair. So then he takes my comb and style s my hair.

4) On day 3 we skipped shower because of his laziness(I never ever skipped shower time in my life thus far). On day 4 morning he told me I was smelling bad. It was my underarms. I didn't shower the previous day because of him and sex = workout. I won't smell roses. He mocked and taunted me again. We showered together and this time he threw away(not literally) my soap and soaped me with his. He didnt let me do anything. He did everything and he said "now it feels you showered properly for the first time in your life". Like come on boy.

5) He keeps complaining of my growing face fat. I acknowledge it doesnt look good and I am working on it but it's not something I can lose overnight. It takes a lot of time. He'll keep making fun of it and sometimes he'll show me pictures of girls on his instagram list who have a perfect V shaped chiseled jawline and says "look at that.Perfect jawline" or "when can I see you like this?". Obviously that makes me mad and I tell him to leave me for good and go after them and we have a fight and he tries to cheer my mood. We got little drunk that night so when i asked him why does he do that to me(compare me with other girls), he said "I pickup best quality from each girl and I taunt you with those because you work the best when your ego is pricked. I feel nothing for any of them but I purposely do that to prick your ego so that you actually do something about it. You're intelligent and I love you for your nature but I want you to be the best in every aspect - looks,clothes, style .I want you to be versatile."

6) After a night of few drinks, I got really sleepy. I had a heavy sleep and I look too weird and ridiculously ugly funny when i am in my deep sleep. The next day morning he shows me that he took my video when i was looking at my ugliest and mildly snoring. It made me feel highly insecure each time he made fun of it saying how great I looked. But despite looking like that he took good care of me that time.

I don't quite understand this behaviour. Are these signs of love or just wanting to control ? Virgo male inputs needed. Thank you in advance xxx

WOW i got soo many flash backs from everything you said, like war flash backs. My ex was that way too. if you say your done and going to put up with this anymore and your show him your pissed he will get all lovable. it will only about 3 weeks maybe 5 weeks. then he will go back to doing it again. you have to stand your ground on something you really hate that he does. he needs to see and know how you hate it. i know hate is strong but its the only thing that gets through them. the bitching they cant help. that is their stress relief. i do have to say one time my ex tried really hard not to bitch. he could not go a day. when put on the spot their tongue is as smooth as silk but as soon as they are not their tongue is a very sharp blade. to them its how they show love or caring, but it comes across as a nagging wife. i would try and get my ex to say something nice to me after bitching me out for a paper towel roll after i spent all day, 17 hours fixing stuff he bitched about. well he look like he was good to throw up while saying something nice. he wont give me sex that not even after all the stuff i did for him. 😢

When i had a tumor in my thyroid and grain a lot of weight he said to me that he didnt want to be married to a fat woman. I so wanted to beat him senseless that day. 'tumor, could die, ASS' 😆 they really dont know how to support others emotional or mentally. ' i will criticize you into what i think you should be' because i love you or because your are mine now.

Yep, I put this Aries tongue on his ass a few times. He always regretted it, Lol!

One time I stood in front of the T.V. during a football game, Lol. I warned him.

I remember once, I was sooo mad, I got in his face so close we were spitting on each other through our teeth, LmAo. He tried to kiss me! I like to scratch his eyes out, Lol. He picked me up and I was wiggling like a puppy, Lol.

fear wakes them up. i know fear ruled my ex virgos life. i saw it time and time again

Yeah, it does.

The divorce really helped. He went through some strange dark mood that scared me and outshined any good.

He changed. He is fabo today. Still a Virgo though.

yea they have to make their remarks. you look at them 'really' they are like ' What??' you always got to keep reminding them. 😆

Mine can be such a cookiemonster. As I said, he called me over to his place and we spent 4 days and 3 nights together. I just returned back home yesterday. I was there this Monday through Thursday. On wednesday he kept mocking and taunting me "great so now you don't have to pay a penny as you get to stay and eat for free you won't leave my apartment ,will you?". Being the sensitive pisces I am, I packed my bags and I was ready to leave right then. He was in his bed and he said "If you leave, we'll breakup.Now your wish". I still opened the door. As soon as I unlatched the door and put my one leg out, he jumped from his bed and caught me and threw me in his bed and said "Why don't you get me when I am joking?" and then he fought with me that how dare I leave despite him saying that it will lead to a breakup and how it means i don't care about our relationship much lol ,such dramapants. I tell him he behaves worse than me like my worst PMS days.

OMG the 'i am joking' Bull 😆 love it, please. got that to. mine ex virgo did the. 'if you dont like it there is the door and dont let it hit you in the ass' but we had kids and so for the kids i didnt go. When i told him i wanted a divorce it wasnt 'i love you lets work it out'. it was ' i am afraid to be alone lets work it out'. he brings up marriage counseling then. But when i brought up marriage counseling years before it all. He says ' i am not worth it'. My mother virgo was the same way. He would tell me i can do what ever i want as long as it wasnt when he wanted me around or when he wanted me to do something. now when i asked him to do something for me he would but bitch the whole time. then i would feel like shit for asking. I would ask him for anything else i had no choice. he would with hold affection if he didnt like something i was doing for myself like COLLEGE. lol

yup yup yup. I did get to hear his 'if you dont like it there is the door' many times. So many times I have complained and confronted his cookiemonstery behaviour and he gave me his "if you don't like it/have so many problems with me, just leave. Breakup".

And if I do say "you're right. I am breaking up.Bye" just watch how bad they sweat and piss on their pants getting all panicked lol. Earlier I used to fall victim to his cookiemonstery and beg him not to breakup and plead and justify but this one time I got fed up and I said "I am done with you" and I watched him cry like a 1 yr old crying for his mommy.

I think it takes them a lot of time to man up.

click to expand

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by gia

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by gia

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by WitchmitchAries

Posted by gia

Howdie ho!!

So my virguy and I have been otherwise doing good;we'll be completing a year together next month end. However, there are few things about him which really throw me off.

For example ..

1) It has been over 3 months since he stopped saying an I love you. We'd always say it to each other before.I even addressed it to him a month ago in Jan and he said " Do our parents say an I love you to each other or to us daily? They don't because its obvious that they do. If we remain stuck and cry at such things our relationship will never mature. It's obvious that I love you. I told him it just makes me happy so at the most all he did was send me pic with I love you written on it on Valentines day. He says I should just know instead of questioning him.

2) His parents went out of town this entire week so he asked me to come over. It was my first time at his place and we spent 4 days overnight together. It was great,however, few things left me confused,again. We both were taking a shower together and he noticed some dandruff on my hair(I know it's not pleasant 😢 ) so he took charge of my hair. First he mocked the hell out of me. Taunted me. Then he threw away my shampoo bottle, took his and shampooed my hair,rinsed it and dried it. Then mocked me again.

3) Then he looked at my face and said he hates the way I style my hair. So then he takes my comb and style s my hair.

4) On day 3 we skipped shower because of his laziness(I never ever skipped shower time in my life thus far). On day 4 morning he told me I was smelling bad. It was my underarms. I didn't shower the previous day because of him and sex = workout. I won't smell roses. He mocked and taunted me again. We showered together and this time he threw away(not literally) my soap and soaped me with his. He didnt let me do anything. He did everything and he said "now it feels you showered properly for the first time in your life". Like come on boy.

5) He keeps complaining of my growing face fat. I acknowledge it doesnt look good and I am working on it but it's not something I can lose overnight. It takes a lot of time. He'll keep making fun of it and sometimes he'll show me pictures of girls on his instagram list who have a perfect V shaped chiseled jawline and says "look at that.Perfect jawline" or "when can I see you like this?". Obviously that makes me mad and I tell him to leave me for good and go after them and we have a fight and he tries to cheer my mood. We got little drunk that night so when i asked him why does he do that to me(compare me with other girls), he said "I pickup best quality from each girl and I taunt you with those because you work the best when your ego is pricked. I feel nothing for any of them but I purposely do that to prick your ego so that you actually do something about it. You're intelligent and I love you for your nature but I want you to be the best in every aspect - looks,clothes, style .I want you to be versatile."

6) After a night of few drinks, I got really sleepy. I had a heavy sleep and I look too weird and ridiculously ugly funny when i am in my deep sleep. The next day morning he shows me that he took my video when i was looking at my ugliest and mildly snoring. It made me feel highly insecure each time he made fun of it saying how great I looked. But despite looking like that he took good care of me that time.

I don't quite understand this behaviour. Are these signs of love or just wanting to control ? Virgo male inputs needed. Thank you in advance xxx

WOW i got soo many flash backs from everything you said, like war flash backs. My ex was that way too. if you say your done and going to put up with this anymore and your show him your pissed he will get all lovable. it will only about 3 weeks maybe 5 weeks. then he will go back to doing it again. you have to stand your ground on something you really hate that he does. he needs to see and know how you hate it. i know hate is strong but its the only thing that gets through them. the bitching they cant help. that is their stress relief. i do have to say one time my ex tried really hard not to bitch. he could not go a day. when put on the spot their tongue is as smooth as silk but as soon as they are not their tongue is a very sharp blade. to them its how they show love or caring, but it comes across as a nagging wife. i would try and get my ex to say something nice to me after bitching me out for a paper towel roll after i spent all day, 17 hours fixing stuff he bitched about. well he look like he was good to throw up while saying something nice. he wont give me sex that not even after all the stuff i did for him. 😢

When i had a tumor in my thyroid and grain a lot of weight he said to me that he didnt want to be married to a fat woman. I so wanted to beat him senseless that day. 'tumor, could die, ASS' 😆 they really dont know how to support others emotional or mentally. ' i will criticize you into what i think you should be' because i love you or because your are mine now.

Yep, I put this Aries tongue on his ass a few times. He always regretted it, Lol!

One time I stood in front of the T.V. during a football game, Lol. I warned him.

I remember once, I was sooo mad, I got in his face so close we were spitting on each other through our teeth, LmAo. He tried to kiss me! I like to scratch his eyes out, Lol. He picked me up and I was wiggling like a puppy, Lol.

fear wakes them up. i know fear ruled my ex virgos life. i saw it time and time again

Yeah, it does.

The divorce really helped. He went through some strange dark mood that scared me and outshined any good.

He changed. He is fabo today. Still a Virgo though.

yea they have to make their remarks. you look at them 'really' they are like ' What??' you always got to keep reminding them. 😆

Mine can be such a cookiemonster. As I said, he called me over to his place and we spent 4 days and 3 nights together. I just returned back home yesterday. I was there this Monday through Thursday. On wednesday he kept mocking and taunting me "great so now you don't have to pay a penny as you get to stay and eat for free you won't leave my apartment ,will you?". Being the sensitive pisces I am, I packed my bags and I was ready to leave right then. He was in his bed and he said "If you leave, we'll breakup.Now your wish". I still opened the door. As soon as I unlatched the door and put my one leg out, he jumped from his bed and caught me and threw me in his bed and said "Why don't you get me when I am joking?" and then he fought with me that how dare I leave despite him saying that it will lead to a breakup and how it means i don't care about our relationship much lol ,such dramapants. I tell him he behaves worse than me like my worst PMS days.

OMG the 'i am joking' Bull 😆 love it, please. got that to. mine ex virgo did the. 'if you dont like it there is the door and dont let it hit you in the ass' but we had kids and so for the kids i didnt go. When i told him i wanted a divorce it wasnt 'i love you lets work it out'. it was ' i am afraid to be alone lets work it out'. he brings up marriage counseling then. But when i brought up marriage counseling years before it all. He says ' i am not worth it'. My mother virgo was the same way. He would tell me i can do what ever i want as long as it wasnt when he wanted me around or when he wanted me to do something. now when i asked him to do something for me he would but bitch the whole time. then i would feel like shit for asking. I would ask him for anything else i had no choice. he would with hold affection if he didnt like something i was doing for myself like COLLEGE. lol

yup yup yup. I did get to hear his 'if you dont like it there is the door' many times. So many times I have complained and confronted his cookiemonstery behaviour and he gave me his "if you don't like it/have so many problems with me, just leave. Breakup".

And if I do say "you're right. I am breaking up.Bye" just watch how bad they sweat and piss on their pants getting all panicked lol. Earlier I used to fall victim to his cookiemonstery and beg him not to breakup and plead and justify but this one time I got fed up and I said "I am done with you" and I watched him cry like a 1 yr old crying for his mommy.

I think it takes them a lot of time to man up.

yes my virgo man cried too. 😆 their thing is buying stuff for you when they feel bad or if you do feel bad about something you did just buy them something. They dont respect space or things. but will claim your things. i soo got some stories their. Virgo need sugar mama' or sugar daddys. my ex's new wife is a suger mama. They are very happy when they are being doted on. But it really can take soo much out of you because they just want more and more. so i give great massages right. my ex would be please give me a massage even though can see i am soo tired, or maybe he couldnt see it, i will give you one. So i give him my best one massage

click to expand

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

You must have a Libra or Venus dominant Virgo. Mine has Libra as the most dominant sign and Venus as the most dominant planet. And, I have Venus as my most dominant planet, so you'll see that may be why I do not mind, Lol!

Naah, no libra. My venus is aquarius and his is Scorpio(i find something really sexy about scorpio placements,i dont know why lol). His mars is Scorpio too.

Posted by VenusAquariusHe does like to treat me like a paper doll. Buys and advises me on all beauty, clothing, and shoes. I accept criticism very well. I appreciate his serious reviews and I make adjustments if I feel he is correct. He dotes over me like a butler. Protects me like a soldier. And, is like my very best girlfriend, LOL. He has always been percieved as extremely handsome and very masculine.

He loves shopping, loves to dress me. He nages me upwards to my 1st promotion... teasing and taunting from any angle he could imagine, ROFL.

OH MY GOD. Reading this made me feel like you just described my virgo guy. He hates my choice of clothes because he feels they don't make me look too good so he always takes me shopping and picks up what accentuates my curves. He'll point out my dark circles and google what home remedies I need to try(because he knows i am least bothered about all this) and what light makeup would look best on me(because I never do any makeup). He'll point out my face fat at present and gave me an ultimatum that they should be gone in 3 months from now.

He just wants me to look the best. He says that looks are an ultimate priority for his mom so he wants me to look my best so that she really likes me when she meets me. He's very protective of me too. Like when we walk on the road, he'll grab my arm when there are too many cars while crossing the road or when we travel on a public transport he makes sure no guy 'accidentally' ends up touching me lol. He'll guard me like a soldier.

Posted by VenusAquariusIf he's telling the truth, accept it. They nag. His honesty will cut like a knife but it's teo-edged. Like when he told you he didn't want those girls and why. They're like a nagging mom/dad. And, steady yourself... he will reveal even worse criticism and observations of others. You will clutch your pearls at how harsh. You will be his criticism confidante, lol. But, it comes in handy when you have situations with any friend, foe, or family. He'll tell it like it really is and mine will go to war with anybody who thinks of stepping to me. He don't give a fuck if it's a baby, or your daddy, LMAO!

YES YES YES. When he shampooed my hair on seeing my dandruff and when he soaped me when i smelled bad, it felt as if he was clearly enjoying it and it felt as if I am his daughter and not his girlfriend lol. And the way he taunts/mocks me is exactly the way my mother nags. He observes everyone and passes some comment or the other. Her boobs are too flat... Her butt sags... Her butt looks great... She has a good jawline but bad teeth... She doesn't look good at all.. She looks great ... She looks ugly...

Whenever he passes negative remarks about other girls, I tell him to stop as it's bad and shallow and he says that's the truth and he can't help it.

I can relate 100% with you and I am so glad you replied. I am too sensitive as a pisces. I take it too personally all the time. It does get too much and I tell him when he's crossing the line. I need to work on evaluating his criticism and stop taking it so personally.

This was really helpful.Thank you so much ❤️

I just appreciated his awesome qualities more. I never met a man so fucking devoted to me. I feel like a queen. Virgo is the sign of service and service is my #1 love language, gifts #2. He gifts me all the time. You may be different in that respect.

If your number #1 is words of affirmation, forget it!

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Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxX

I stopped at "howdie ho"

Posted by tiziani

You both sound like high achievers. Maybe not so good with the interpersonal stuff and the different paths you're heading on might not end so well

Posted by tiziani but I trust you both to handle it better than most actually, given your stories.

Posted by tizianiOther than that, someone who's asked to say "I love you" and still won't do it... that is just plain lazy.

click to expand

Posted by stillstillwater

He must be a model then? Im so curious what he looks like.

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

You must have a Libra or Venus dominant Virgo. Mine has Libra as the most dominant sign and Venus as the most dominant planet. And, I have Venus as my most dominant planet, so you'll see that may be why I do not mind, Lol!

Naah, no libra. My venus is aquarius and his is Scorpio(i find something really sexy about scorpio placements,i dont know why lol). His mars is Scorpio too.

Posted by VenusAquariusHe does like to treat me like a paper doll. Buys and advises me on all beauty, clothing, and shoes. I accept criticism very well. I appreciate his serious reviews and I make adjustments if I feel he is correct. He dotes over me like a butler. Protects me like a soldier. And, is like my very best girlfriend, LOL. He has always been percieved as extremely handsome and very masculine.

He loves shopping, loves to dress me. He nages me upwards to my 1st promotion... teasing and taunting from any angle he could imagine, ROFL.

OH MY GOD. Reading this made me feel like you just described my virgo guy. He hates my choice of clothes because he feels they don't make me look too good so he always takes me shopping and picks up what accentuates my curves. He'll point out my dark circles and google what home remedies I need to try(because he knows i am least bothered about all this) and what light makeup would look best on me(because I never do any makeup). He'll point out my face fat at present and gave me an ultimatum that they should be gone in 3 months from now.

He just wants me to look the best. He says that looks are an ultimate priority for his mom so he wants me to look my best so that she really likes me when she meets me. He's very protective of me too. Like when we walk on the road, he'll grab my arm when there are too many cars while crossing the road or when we travel on a public transport he makes sure no guy 'accidentally' ends up touching me lol. He'll guard me like a soldier.

Posted by VenusAquariusIf he's telling the truth, accept it. They nag. His honesty will cut like a knife but it's teo-edged. Like when he told you he didn't want those girls and why. They're like a nagging mom/dad. And, steady yourself... he will reveal even worse criticism and observations of others. You will clutch your pearls at how harsh. You will be his criticism confidante, lol. But, it comes in handy when you have situations with any friend, foe, or family. He'll tell it like it really is and mine will go to war with anybody who thinks of stepping to me. He don't give a fuck if it's a baby, or your daddy, LMAO!

YES YES YES. When he shampooed my hair on seeing my dandruff and when he soaped me when i smelled bad, it felt as if he was clearly enjoying it and it felt as if I am his daughter and not his girlfriend lol. And the way he taunts/mocks me is exactly the way my mother nags. He observes everyone and passes some comment or the other. Her boobs are too flat... Her butt sags... Her butt looks great... She has a good jawline but bad teeth... She doesn't look good at all.. She looks great ... She looks ugly...

Whenever he passes negative remarks about other girls, I tell him to stop as it's bad and shallow and he says that's the truth and he can't help it.

I can relate 100% with you and I am so glad you replied. I am too sensitive as a pisces. I take it too personally all the time. It does get too much and I tell him when he's crossing the line. I need to work on evaluating his criticism and stop taking it so personally.

This was really helpful.Thank you so much ❤️

I just appreciated his awesome qualities more. I never met a man so fucking devoted to me. I feel like a queen. Virgo is the sign of service and service is my #1 love language, gifts #2. He gifts me all the time. You may be different in that respect.

If your number #1 is words of affirmation, forget it!

I just read this. Lol yeah words of affirmation is my number 1. Hearing good things makes me very happy and secure, of course backed with action. When I told him he doesnt say an I love you anymore, he laughed it off sayin that it's obviously understood that he does and that I shouldn't have to question him at this stage of our relationship. Internally I agree but the immature baby soul in me likes hearing it. The only time he says it now is when I tell him an I love you when we make love and he says an I love you too in response.

He isn't a romantic guy at all. During the courting phase he was but not after our honeymoon period got over.

I can live with that as long as he's loyal and committed to me always.

He isn't a gift person although it could be because we are just students now so we are not financially independent now and won't be so for atleast next 2 years, so I personally don't want him to spend on me,although we both contribute and spend a lot to spend some 'we' time after college..

2 days ago(while styling my hair) he laughed and said "when I get a job and start making money, I'll first take you to a good hair spa and get you a makeover". I didn't feel offended. I found that sweet instead lol.

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Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by stillstillwater

He must be a model then? Im so curious what he looks like.

Lol for reals.

If he’s not over 6’ with 6-8 pack imma feel a type of way.

click to expand

Posted by tiziani

Posted by gia

Posted by tiziani

You both sound like high achievers. Maybe not so good with the interpersonal stuff and the different paths you're heading on might not end so well

Ouch 😭

Posted by tiziani but I trust you both to handle it better than most actually, given your stories.

what makes you say that?

Posted by tizianiOther than that, someone who's asked to say "I love you" and still won't do it... that is just plain lazy.

hahaha yeah. However, my parents and him are on same boat here. They think saying an I love you isn't required when you know it's obvious. My parents(and his) never say it to each other but they love each other just so much. They never say those words to me but I know they love me more than they love themselves or anything in this world. Same with him. He even said "our parents never say it to each other but they are 100% secure knowing that they do. Mentally I am at that level with you where we don't need to feel secure about it just by saying it. It's obvious that it's there". It made perfect sense to me but oh well, i guess i am a little immature and insecure in this department lol.

What makes me say that? From what you've written, you're both willing to accept the darker emotions that can drive you without making a drama about it.

The majority of threads I read on here involve people expecting just a limited range of "acceptable" emotions in a relationship and it predictably ends with a lot of judging and blame when it's done.

For the love thing, sure there are different ways to show love. These are two different topics though.

One is what is love and how do you show it.

The other is when a partner shares a need/want, makes a request, and the other partner refuses to do what's perfectly within their power to do.

They're just different topics.

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Posted by pinkbird03

The question is, do you want to look better and do more high maintenance things or are you happy with the way you are?

Sometimes a little makeup goes a long way. But hunnie if that’s not you, don’t change for some guy.

Posted by gia

Posted by pinkbird03

The question is, do you want to look better and do more high maintenance things or are you happy with the way you are?

Sometimes a little makeup goes a long way. But hunnie if that’s not you, don’t change for some guy.

Great question. The thing is,I have never really tried on my own. I don't have even a basic lipstick,let alone try makeup.

Also, he doesnt really want me to get all high maintenance but wants me to do atleast something. He just wants that I take care of my face and body well. He likes a clean look and not a face full of makeup. He wants me to get some threading done.

I think majority of the boys/men like it when their girlfriends take out time to look great for them.

I haven't really done that. The most I do is apply sunscreen,a little eyeliner and a lip balm lol.

No foundation,nothing. I don't even have one.

There have been a few times when a close friend of mine did some light makeup on me for an occasion. Some mascara, eyeliner, bold lipstick and a single layer of light foundation.He saw my photo and he said I looked really pretty. She's a perfection so the light makeup looked natural except the bold lipstick and that's what he likes - light.

It definitely made me feel more confident and nice but it's definitely not something I'd like to do very often and he's okay with that.

click to expand

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by gia

Posted by pinkbird03

The question is, do you want to look better and do more high maintenance things or are you happy with the way you are?

Sometimes a little makeup goes a long way. But hunnie if that’s not you, don’t change for some guy.

Great question. The thing is,I have never really tried on my own. I don't have even a basic lipstick,let alone try makeup.

Also, he doesnt really want me to get all high maintenance but wants me to do atleast something. He just wants that I take care of my face and body well. He likes a clean look and not a face full of makeup. He wants me to get some threading done.

I think majority of the boys/men like it when their girlfriends take out time to look great for them.

I haven't really done that. The most I do is apply sunscreen,a little eyeliner and a lip balm lol.

No foundation,nothing. I don't even have one.

There have been a few times when a close friend of mine did some light makeup on me for an occasion. Some mascara, eyeliner, bold lipstick and a single layer of light foundation.He saw my photo and he said I looked really pretty. She's a perfection so the light makeup looked natural except the bold lipstick and that's what he likes - light.

It definitely made me feel more confident and nice but it's definitely not something I'd like to do very often and he's okay with that.

Well you have two choices. Take care of yourself to please him or don’t do it and he continues to comment on these things. Which way are you leaning?

click to expand

Posted by virgoop

this man is evil.

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

You must have a Libra or Venus dominant Virgo. Mine has Libra as the most dominant sign and Venus as the most dominant planet. And, I have Venus as my most dominant planet, so you'll see that may be why I do not mind, Lol!

Naah, no libra. My venus is aquarius and his is Scorpio(i find something really sexy about scorpio placements,i dont know why lol). His mars is Scorpio too.

Posted by VenusAquariusHe does like to treat me like a paper doll. Buys and advises me on all beauty, clothing, and shoes. I accept criticism very well. I appreciate his serious reviews and I make adjustments if I feel he is correct. He dotes over me like a butler. Protects me like a soldier. And, is like my very best girlfriend, LOL. He has always been percieved as extremely handsome and very masculine.

He loves shopping, loves to dress me. He nages me upwards to my 1st promotion... teasing and taunting from any angle he could imagine, ROFL.

OH MY GOD. Reading this made me feel like you just described my virgo guy. He hates my choice of clothes because he feels they don't make me look too good so he always takes me shopping and picks up what accentuates my curves. He'll point out my dark circles and google what home remedies I need to try(because he knows i am least bothered about all this) and what light makeup would look best on me(because I never do any makeup). He'll point out my face fat at present and gave me an ultimatum that they should be gone in 3 months from now.

He just wants me to look the best. He says that looks are an ultimate priority for his mom so he wants me to look my best so that she really likes me when she meets me. He's very protective of me too. Like when we walk on the road, he'll grab my arm when there are too many cars while crossing the road or when we travel on a public transport he makes sure no guy 'accidentally' ends up touching me lol. He'll guard me like a soldier.

Posted by VenusAquariusIf he's telling the truth, accept it. They nag. His honesty will cut like a knife but it's teo-edged. Like when he told you he didn't want those girls and why. They're like a nagging mom/dad. And, steady yourself... he will reveal even worse criticism and observations of others. You will clutch your pearls at how harsh. You will be his criticism confidante, lol. But, it comes in handy when you have situations with any friend, foe, or family. He'll tell it like it really is and mine will go to war with anybody who thinks of stepping to me. He don't give a fuck if it's a baby, or your daddy, LMAO!

YES YES YES. When he shampooed my hair on seeing my dandruff and when he soaped me when i smelled bad, it felt as if he was clearly enjoying it and it felt as if I am his daughter and not his girlfriend lol. And the way he taunts/mocks me is exactly the way my mother nags. He observes everyone and passes some comment or the other. Her boobs are too flat... Her butt sags... Her butt looks great... She has a good jawline but bad teeth... She doesn't look good at all.. She looks great ... She looks ugly...

Whenever he passes negative remarks about other girls, I tell him to stop as it's bad and shallow and he says that's the truth and he can't help it.

I can relate 100% with you and I am so glad you replied. I am too sensitive as a pisces. I take it too personally all the time. It does get too much and I tell him when he's crossing the line. I need to work on evaluating his criticism and stop taking it so personally.

This was really helpful.Thank you so much ❤️

I just appreciated his awesome qualities more. I never met a man so fucking devoted to me. I feel like a queen. Virgo is the sign of service and service is my #1 love language, gifts #2. He gifts me all the time. You may be different in that respect.

If your number #1 is words of affirmation, forget it!

click to expand

Posted by Moonbutter

You made a comment on what relationships are about, and I agree keeping your partner happy to a certain extent. I only agree with this if 1) your partner is already a happy/secure person and 2) they try to make you happy as well. If you 2 have different love languages, then I’m not sure there is anything you can do about it because it will always feel forced/unnatural trying to make each other happy. I really think you should look at this as a learning experience and self improvement, but guard your heart and just think about what makes you happy and is he satisfying those needs...

Posted by Earthy

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

You must have a Libra or Venus dominant Virgo. Mine has Libra as the most dominant sign and Venus as the most dominant planet. And, I have Venus as my most dominant planet, so you'll see that may be why I do not mind, Lol!

Naah, no libra. My venus is aquarius and his is Scorpio(i find something really sexy about scorpio placements,i dont know why lol). His mars is Scorpio too.

Posted by VenusAquariusHe does like to treat me like a paper doll. Buys and advises me on all beauty, clothing, and shoes. I accept criticism very well. I appreciate his serious reviews and I make adjustments if I feel he is correct. He dotes over me like a butler. Protects me like a soldier. And, is like my very best girlfriend, LOL. He has always been percieved as extremely handsome and very masculine.

He loves shopping, loves to dress me. He nages me upwards to my 1st promotion... teasing and taunting from any angle he could imagine, ROFL.

OH MY GOD. Reading this made me feel like you just described my virgo guy. He hates my choice of clothes because he feels they don't make me look too good so he always takes me shopping and picks up what accentuates my curves. He'll point out my dark circles and google what home remedies I need to try(because he knows i am least bothered about all this) and what light makeup would look best on me(because I never do any makeup). He'll point out my face fat at present and gave me an ultimatum that they should be gone in 3 months from now.

He just wants me to look the best. He says that looks are an ultimate priority for his mom so he wants me to look my best so that she really likes me when she meets me. He's very protective of me too. Like when we walk on the road, he'll grab my arm when there are too many cars while crossing the road or when we travel on a public transport he makes sure no guy 'accidentally' ends up touching me lol. He'll guard me like a soldier.

Posted by VenusAquariusIf he's telling the truth, accept it. They nag. His honesty will cut like a knife but it's teo-edged. Like when he told you he didn't want those girls and why. They're like a nagging mom/dad. And, steady yourself... he will reveal even worse criticism and observations of others. You will clutch your pearls at how harsh. You will be his criticism confidante, lol. But, it comes in handy when you have situations with any friend, foe, or family. He'll tell it like it really is and mine will go to war with anybody who thinks of stepping to me. He don't give a fuck if it's a baby, or your daddy, LMAO!

YES YES YES. When he shampooed my hair on seeing my dandruff and when he soaped me when i smelled bad, it felt as if he was clearly enjoying it and it felt as if I am his daughter and not his girlfriend lol. And the way he taunts/mocks me is exactly the way my mother nags. He observes everyone and passes some comment or the other. Her boobs are too flat... Her butt sags... Her butt looks great... She has a good jawline but bad teeth... She doesn't look good at all.. She looks great ... She looks ugly...

Whenever he passes negative remarks about other girls, I tell him to stop as it's bad and shallow and he says that's the truth and he can't help it.

I can relate 100% with you and I am so glad you replied. I am too sensitive as a pisces. I take it too personally all the time. It does get too much and I tell him when he's crossing the line. I need to work on evaluating his criticism and stop taking it so personally.

This was really helpful.Thank you so much ❤️

I just appreciated his awesome qualities more. I never met a man so fucking devoted to me. I feel like a queen. Virgo is the sign of service and service is my #1 love language, gifts #2. He gifts me all the time. You may be different in that respect.

If your number #1 is words of affirmation, forget it!

Forget virgo all together if affirmation is your #1

click to expand

Posted by gia

Posted by Earthy

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

You must have a Libra or Venus dominant Virgo. Mine has Libra as the most dominant sign and Venus as the most dominant planet. And, I have Venus as my most dominant planet, so you'll see that may be why I do not mind, Lol!

Naah, no libra. My venus is aquarius and his is Scorpio(i find something really sexy about scorpio placements,i dont know why lol). His mars is Scorpio too.

Posted by VenusAquariusHe does like to treat me like a paper doll. Buys and advises me on all beauty, clothing, and shoes. I accept criticism very well. I appreciate his serious reviews and I make adjustments if I feel he is correct. He dotes over me like a butler. Protects me like a soldier. And, is like my very best girlfriend, LOL. He has always been percieved as extremely handsome and very masculine.

He loves shopping, loves to dress me. He nages me upwards to my 1st promotion... teasing and taunting from any angle he could imagine, ROFL.

OH MY GOD. Reading this made me feel like you just described my virgo guy. He hates my choice of clothes because he feels they don't make me look too good so he always takes me shopping and picks up what accentuates my curves. He'll point out my dark circles and google what home remedies I need to try(because he knows i am least bothered about all this) and what light makeup would look best on me(because I never do any makeup). He'll point out my face fat at present and gave me an ultimatum that they should be gone in 3 months from now.

He just wants me to look the best. He says that looks are an ultimate priority for his mom so he wants me to look my best so that she really likes me when she meets me. He's very protective of me too. Like when we walk on the road, he'll grab my arm when there are too many cars while crossing the road or when we travel on a public transport he makes sure no guy 'accidentally' ends up touching me lol. He'll guard me like a soldier.

Posted by VenusAquariusIf he's telling the truth, accept it. They nag. His honesty will cut like a knife but it's teo-edged. Like when he told you he didn't want those girls and why. They're like a nagging mom/dad. And, steady yourself... he will reveal even worse criticism and observations of others. You will clutch your pearls at how harsh. You will be his criticism confidante, lol. But, it comes in handy when you have situations with any friend, foe, or family. He'll tell it like it really is and mine will go to war with anybody who thinks of stepping to me. He don't give a fuck if it's a baby, or your daddy, LMAO!

YES YES YES. When he shampooed my hair on seeing my dandruff and when he soaped me when i smelled bad, it felt as if he was clearly enjoying it and it felt as if I am his daughter and not his girlfriend lol. And the way he taunts/mocks me is exactly the way my mother nags. He observes everyone and passes some comment or the other. Her boobs are too flat... Her butt sags... Her butt looks great... She has a good jawline but bad teeth... She doesn't look good at all.. She looks great ... She looks ugly...

Whenever he passes negative remarks about other girls, I tell him to stop as it's bad and shallow and he says that's the truth and he can't help it.

I can relate 100% with you and I am so glad you replied. I am too sensitive as a pisces. I take it too personally all the time. It does get too much and I tell him when he's crossing the line. I need to work on evaluating his criticism and stop taking it so personally.

This was really helpful.Thank you so much ❤️

I just appreciated his awesome qualities more. I never met a man so fucking devoted to me. I feel like a queen. Virgo is the sign of service and service is my #1 love language, gifts #2. He gifts me all the time. You may be different in that respect.

If your number #1 is words of affirmation, forget it!

Forget virgo all together if affirmation is your #1

Just to confirm, by affirmation you mean compliments and positive words?

Like "you look beautiful", "I love you so much", "she is nothing in comparison to you" etc etc etc ?

click to expand

Posted by gia

Posted by Moonbutter

You made a comment on what relationships are about, and I agree keeping your partner happy to a certain extent. I only agree with this if 1) your partner is already a happy/secure person and 2) they try to make you happy as well. If you 2 have different love languages, then I’m not sure there is anything you can do about it because it will always feel forced/unnatural trying to make each other happy. I really think you should look at this as a learning experience and self improvement, but guard your heart and just think about what makes you happy and is he satisfying those needs...

The more I get to know him, the more my instincts make me feel as if he has this huge wall built between us which prohibits him to let go of all his fears and whatever it is and love 100% freely. You know the kind of love where you don't hold back anything and make yourself confidently vulnerable to the other person? That's how I am to him and that freaks him out BIG TIME.

There's lack of empathy from his side because this huge wall that I am referring to is this wall which guards his heart and feelings. He is extremely emotional from deep inside. No matter how much he guards it, I know it. He openly expresses his anger and hatred but he's rarely expressive about anything to do with love. It's always limited and contained if at all he does and many a times followed by aggression.

We will get long distant after college and our college ends in mid May. We live in the same city(2 hrs far) so we'd meet during vacations but I'd leave abroad for my higher education and he'll pursue his in our country. I am confident of LDR(I have done it before) but he's not as much(because he never has). I feel maybe that's something which is prohibiting him to take his wall down because he's not sure.

I even talked to him about this last week and he said it's not true. He said he's not 100% attached to me because if he does then he won't be able to focus on his career and just keep thinking about me and us all the time. If that truly is the reason, then I agree and accept it but I doubt it's the complete truth.

click to expand

Posted by CygnusVagus

LMAO, that man Loves you...

Posted by Dianna

Douchebaggery at it's finest.

Is he perfect? Did he smell like roses after skipping a shower? Does he not get dandruff or a blemish? What is his body fat percentage?

Start nitpicking him and see how well he takes it.

Posted by gia

Posted by Dianna

Douchebaggery at it's finest.

Is he perfect? Did he smell like roses after skipping a shower? Does he not get dandruff or a blemish? What is his body fat percentage?

Start nitpicking him and see how well he takes it.

I do pick up on him and he has his ever-ready defensive answers. No matter what, he will defend himself till his last breath.

But I need to do more.

click to expand

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by Moonbutter

You made a comment on what relationships are about, and I agree keeping your partner happy to a certain extent. I only agree with this if 1) your partner is already a happy/secure person and 2) they try to make you happy as well. If you 2 have different love languages, then I’m not sure there is anything you can do about it because it will always feel forced/unnatural trying to make each other happy. I really think you should look at this as a learning experience and self improvement, but guard your heart and just think about what makes you happy and is he satisfying those needs...

The more I get to know him, the more my instincts make me feel as if he has this huge wall built between us which prohibits him to let go of all his fears and whatever it is and love 100% freely. You know the kind of love where you don't hold back anything and make yourself confidently vulnerable to the other person? That's how I am to him and that freaks him out BIG TIME.

There's lack of empathy from his side because this huge wall that I am referring to is this wall which guards his heart and feelings. He is extremely emotional from deep inside. No matter how much he guards it, I know it. He openly expresses his anger and hatred but he's rarely expressive about anything to do with love. It's always limited and contained if at all he does and many a times followed by aggression.

We will get long distant after college and our college ends in mid May. We live in the same city(2 hrs far) so we'd meet during vacations but I'd leave abroad for my higher education and he'll pursue his in our country. I am confident of LDR(I have done it before) but he's not as much(because he never has). I feel maybe that's something which is prohibiting him to take his wall down because he's not sure.

I even talked to him about this last week and he said it's not true. He said he's not 100% attached to me because if he does then he won't be able to focus on his career and just keep thinking about me and us all the time. If that truly is the reason, then I agree and accept it but I doubt it's the complete truth.

Just an FYI... still just like my Virgo... every word. But, his wall down. I'm like um, you can put it back up now, LOL. He hid just how fucking emotional he is until after married. He knew what he was doing too... real smart.

click to expand

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by gia

Posted by Dianna

Douchebaggery at it's finest.

Is he perfect? Did he smell like roses after skipping a shower? Does he not get dandruff or a blemish? What is his body fat percentage?

Start nitpicking him and see how well he takes it.

I do pick up on him and he has his ever-ready defensive answers. No matter what, he will defend himself till his last breath.

But I need to do more.

Does he love himself?

click to expand

Posted by gia

Posted by CygnusVagus

LMAO, that man Loves you...

sarcastic much,eh? xD

click to expand

Posted by CygnusVagus

Posted by gia

Posted by CygnusVagus

LMAO, that man Loves you...

sarcastic much,eh? xD

Not sarcasm...

Sigh...Even if he wasn't being an ass at times, it would still be hard for you...

click to expand

Posted by gia

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by gia

Posted by Moonbutter

You made a comment on what relationships are about, and I agree keeping your partner happy to a certain extent. I only agree with this if 1) your partner is already a happy/secure person and 2) they try to make you happy as well. If you 2 have different love languages, then I’m not sure there is anything you can do about it because it will always feel forced/unnatural trying to make each other happy. I really think you should look at this as a learning experience and self improvement, but guard your heart and just think about what makes you happy and is he satisfying those needs...

The more I get to know him, the more my instincts make me feel as if he has this huge wall built between us which prohibits him to let go of all his fears and whatever it is and love 100% freely. You know the kind of love where you don't hold back anything and make yourself confidently vulnerable to the other person? That's how I am to him and that freaks him out BIG TIME.

There's lack of empathy from his side because this huge wall that I am referring to is this wall which guards his heart and feelings. He is extremely emotional from deep inside. No matter how much he guards it, I know it. He openly expresses his anger and hatred but he's rarely expressive about anything to do with love. It's always limited and contained if at all he does and many a times followed by aggression.

We will get long distant after college and our college ends in mid May. We live in the same city(2 hrs far) so we'd meet during vacations but I'd leave abroad for my higher education and he'll pursue his in our country. I am confident of LDR(I have done it before) but he's not as much(because he never has). I feel maybe that's something which is prohibiting him to take his wall down because he's not sure.

I even talked to him about this last week and he said it's not true. He said he's not 100% attached to me because if he does then he won't be able to focus on his career and just keep thinking about me and us all the time. If that truly is the reason, then I agree and accept it but I doubt it's the complete truth.

Just an FYI... still just like my Virgo... every word. But, his wall down. I'm like um, you can put it back up now, LOL. He hid just how fucking emotional he is until after married. He knew what he was doing too... real smart.

He doesn't hide it anymore to you because he is married to you. I know my guy will be 100% attached and committed to the woman he marries. I know he will be a great husband and a father but he's not the best boyfriend to me as of now.

It feels as if he takes me for granted. Like way too much. He is so comfortable being rude to me that he doesn't empathize or contemplate his actions and words. Too insensitive. For example, my birthday is coming up this weekend and I take his opinion before buying good clothes because he has a good taste.

He sent me few pictures of dresses he really liked but I really dont wear such so I told him I can't wear those. He got angry and said that I wasted his time. I was like WTF X_X

I told him not to misunderstand me and I told him I'll send him some which I have selected and he must ive his opinion on those. He said 9/10 dresses which I chose were horrible except 1 which was okay. I just said "I'm not sure from which angle do they look horrible.They are all form fitting and have a solid colour". He got angrier and said they won't suit me. So I asked "on what basis is he saying they won't?". Then he burst out that how I don't value his words and opinion and simply waste his time and energy. I told him he's being really rude and he said I am the who's rude by cross questioning him instead of respecting his opinion.

He never behaves this bad and he doesn't even contemplate later. He knows I am hurt but he feels nothing. We haven't talked in 2 days and today is day 3. We have college tomorrow so we'll see each other then.

What is your suggestion?

click to expand

Posted by gia

Posted by CygnusVagus

Posted by gia

Posted by CygnusVagus

LMAO, that man Loves you...

sarcastic much,eh? xD

Not sarcasm...

Sigh...Even if he wasn't being an ass at times, it would still be hard for you...

So you actually mean he loves me?

And why would you say it would still be hard for me even when he isnt being a marker?

click to expand