THE VIRGO-SCORPIO SAGA IS ALMOST OVER...

I have just given up on this man. I do like him a lot. I have let my barriers down but I have had enough of the guy.

Let me give you an example...

After not seeing each other for almost 2 weeks, (that was the day he told me he wanted to be exclusive, if you all recall I posted about it, but then retracted it 2 days later) last nite he went to a party. I had invited him two weeks ago... He met my youngest daughter (she is almost 14) at the party and some other friends. We went to my oldest (she is 29) daughter's house for her husband's b-day celebration. There were about 60 people at the party. He came to pick me up, his first time at my house, he said I had a very nice home. We drove in his car to the party but it was only 2 miles away. But he told me when he called me to let me know that he was on his way to my house, that since he had been sick (stomach virus for 2 days) he may not stay long. I said ok, whenever you want to leave just let me know and I can always return on my own car since it was so close by.

Well we arrived to the party around 8:10 p.m. We stayed at the kitchen all nite and talked with some people, but him and I never really had a conversation between the two of us. I was also helping out a bit with the guests here and there... Through out the night, he gave me a little kiss on my cheek like 3 times, and even put his hand on my back a few times. His expressions of affection were sweet and tender, but still I felt the distance...

At 11:00 pm I asked him how he was feeling and he said he was ready to go...

We left, he drop me off at my house. As I was about to get out of the car he looked me in the eyes, I almost melted and he said, I really missed you (he said it twice) then gave me just a little good nite kiss, just on the lips and then he said... "Well, lets go out on a DATE, soon" that left me perplexed. I got out of the car and I said good-bye!

I was/am perplexed since this is a guy I have been seeing for almost 3 months, where I have met his parents and the rest of his family, yes I know we have only had like 15+ (more or less) dates, we have even been intimate with each other (sex). He has said stuff like lets go to Europe on vacation together, and blah, blah, blah, making it sound like there is some solidity to our "relationship" and then with his last statement of "Well, lets go out on a DATE, soon" it sounded so damn casual that I do not know if the man is really interested or not!

Continues...

Continuation...

So I have decided, no more calls from me, no more txt mssg from me, no more IM from me, no more emails from me. If he is interested, let him make the effort. I have given up on him and I do not want to make the effort anymore!

My gut tells me he is dating other people and he may not be interested in my as much as I am in him!

So there you have in another chapter in my sage with a Virgo man that I can NOT figure out!

Any comments?

Of course .. I always have comments, lol.

Es .. I've said this so many times in here that it's getting ridiculous .. however, it's the absolute truth and people HAVE to acknowledge this.

Virgo's are NOT passionate .. they love, they like, they have interests, they care about people .. but, NOT passionately.

What you are expecting, is what we are all expecting from our lovers .. for them to swoop us up, make us feel like we're more desired than any other woman in the world. He's just NOT gonna do it, Es. You've heard me say, I HAD to take my Virgo. If I waited for him to show some sign of passionate desire, I'd be in my grave. The times you and him made love, I suspect, you've been sitting back thinking, "Did I not make him feel like the world was spinning with the intensity of wanton desire. Why does he not yearn for me, ache for me".

Wonderful people, no doubt, with so many fantastic qualities to offer .. an armorous craving with fervor isn't going to happen .. that's what you're waiting for .. they aren't made that way. It's not just being loved .. it's about feeling "Wanted" in your femininity.

You know he's into you, you know he wants to be with you .. but, he's not making a move of exhilerated anticipation of desire and this is what is tearing away at you .. I know, luv, I know .. I live it everyday.

That is the way it is .. accept it and live your life feeling secure in the love of duty and honour, soley .. or walk away. He's NOT going to change .. this is who he is.

It doesn't get any better .. this is it. I know how you feel .. it makes you feel unwanted and rejected. I'm sorry, yet .. you've been warned .. this isn't a news flash. So, one side of me is feeling your pain and the other side of me is thinking that because you know this .. the pain is self-inflicting.

Just walk away and never forget, if you fall for a Virgo again ..

P-Angel: Virgo's are NOT passionate .. they love, they like, they have interests, they care about people .. but, NOT passionately.

I have to agree with that. All the virgos I've known are like that. Even if they were passionate, they definitely don't show it...

P-Angel thank you for your kind words and your wise advise.

The good thing is that I am not in love with him, I just like him a lot, that is all. I have not gotten my heart involved nor have we spent so much time on this "relationship" that I am heartbroken, all I am, it is just disappointed.

I really wish/ed that more could have come out of our togetherness. We have a lot, maybe not so much in common but, that we complement each other well, so I thought there was a great potential for a solid relationship, but not if what he is wiling to offer is what you described above,

I was married to a Pisces for 15 years and our relationship was so bland, never again. I have been involved in the past with Virgos but I was never interested in any of those Virgo men to even worry about their personalities. With this Virgo man in particular I was, that I searched out to find more about the Virgo males and what they are like when it comes to a "love" relationship with a woman that I found this site.

I have been divorced for 10 years and I am still alone because I will not settle for less than I am looking for, even if it means I will not find the man for me. I rather be alone and happy than with a man and unhappy for I am already happy with me, and I am not going to let a man bring me down.

I shall continue on my quest for the right man, for me!

Message posted by: branh0913 on 1/21/2007 10:26:30 AMip: xxx.xxx.xxx.2
Virgo's are NOT passionate .. they love, they like, they have interests, they care about people .. but, NOT passionately.

Bullshit.



Well branh0913, maybe you are passionate, but my Virgo man is not passionate enough for me, for I am a Scorpio and rather intense and I seek the same...

BTW branh reading your posts and your style of writing, you may not be a true male Virgo afterall! 😛

Being a water sign .. this is unfathomable .. when we love, it's with such intensity that it rocks us all the way down to the core and it's so hard to comprehend how it's possible that another doesn't "feel" this, but, can say it with such indifference. Fire signs are the same way .. desire for thier lover surges through them to every nerve ending, like you feel like you're gonna faint.

Passion isn't a thought, how can it be said, without feeling it? I don't have an answer for you because I can't grasp it, either.

I am the type that I ponder and ponder, vent and vent, until I let it go... And that it is what I am now doing here, analyzing (yes, I know Virgos do that a lot) but also I am feeling (Virgos don't do that) and that is what makes me the passionate woman that I am...

Passion I want to feel with a man, and at my age, I am not going to settle for less. So, a miracle will have to happen with my Virgo man to come out of his shell, mostly unlikely, or what I have with him will become a thing of the past!

Yeah that's exactly what I was going to say...


BULLSHIT?!

Is there any standard for ?passion? to follow up..??

What is for you as PASSION could be SUFFOCATION to the other.

Then ESCORPIONA says: for I am a Scorpio and rather intense and I seek the same...

You are intense.. doesn't mean your Vman was cold..! please stop playing as martyr and face the truth, you might killed his passion without you knowing it..!

Actually, I find it odd that you're marriage to a Pisces was bland. Normally, our two signs have an unspoken understanding .. in fact, I think all elements have this with each other.

You said, "I am not going to let a man bring me down" .. live it, then.

Don't you think it's time to STOP whipping this? The horse is dead.

BE in charge .. don't just say it ..

Shake off the apprehension .. focus on the horizon .. your soulmate awaits you.

Of course, this makes me a complete hypocrite, since I'm still here with a dead horse, lol

Oh well, it's easier said then done.

Contradicting me feelings... Yes more venting, so please bear with me!

Part of my wants to call him up, and tell him off, or better said, point out all the mixed messages he has been giving me since we met. To be a bit like P-Angel was with her man 25 years ago, but not to tell him to move-in with me or nothing like that, but being very blunt and direct. I want to tell him the way he has approached me, he has been playing with my feelings. His words say one thing but his actions say the totally opposite!

Believe it or not, with this Virgo man, I have kept my intensity very low key. I know that by reading my posts here it does not seem like it, but I have given him so much space. Playing by his rules, accepting his terms and I am fed up!

I now want to risk it all and get it over with. I want to call him and tell him I MUST see him today and when we meet point out to him the obvious and see his reaction. I know it is a delicate move, but I want to know where I stand with him or just go on, but I need to get out of my system all I have been holding up.

The obvious, in no particular order but here it is... Hey, I am analyzing it to myself but sharing it with you all..

1. I meet his family and tells me he wants me to spend more time with his family. He wants to meet mine and do the same. He said few women have met his parents. He wants me to meet his daughter and her baby in the near future.
2. He asks for exclusivity but then withdraw it.
3. He tells me he is not dating nor sleeping with anyone else.
4, He uses terms of endearment, such as sweetheart, luv, baby, babe, amor... And he is affectionate in public.
5. He plans long term activities together, skydiving (he already paid for) and trips together to far away places.
6. He says he misses me.
7. We were intimate, (at our 10th date) and sex happened after I told him my ex-husband had given me herpes when we were married.
8. He tells me he cares for me much more that I think.
9. He says he loves my company and has lots of fun when we are together. He loves my humor.
10. He knows (I think so) that I care very much for him.

Then last night, he tells me at then end "lets go out on a date, soon"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what is up with this dude...

So do I do it? That is, tell him the obvious?

Or do I just stop all my contact with him as I stated at the beginning of this thread.

I do not know what to do any more. See I am trying not to be intense. If I point the obvious to him, it will be my intensity talking, if it just let it be and have no more contact with him, but wait until he contacts me, then I am mellowing my intensity...

He needs to know the true (intense/passionate) me and if he likes it fine if not live and learn..

NEXXXT!... Like P-Angel says, easier said than done! 😉

This is exactly what I mean .. how can the words be said, without the action?

Is it not felt .. just the words are suppose to be enough?

You have to do what you feel is best for you .. if it were me? I'd tell him just exactly how I feel .. but, I'm blunt and direct with no fear of saying what I think or feel .. for me, I wouldn't be able to just vanish without closure. Some people can do that, they can just move on without any justification. I'd approach him, Es, lay the cards on the table and see where they fall.

If he ends it, so be it, since you're at the end of your rope anyway.

With all due respect..

You are a grown up lady and should act like one.. why don't you ask him directly what he meant that night if it is confusing you..??

Listening to crap in form of advices, make s you more confused..

It is much more easier than you think?!

"It is another to always have a virgo around, have him proclaim his love, and people constantly say that it is not enough"

Es .. look at these words in the manner in which I've been saying. This comes from a Virgo, who like all the rest, have no awareness. It's not their fault, this is the way it is .. we can't change them ..

In their minds, they think that we NEED them to proclaim thier love to us, and we therefore, are not satisfied and they can't figure out why it's not enough. They've no clue that we don't want them to proclaim it .. a person can tell me 24/7 that they love me and it will never be enough, because it's not about words ..

This is the way it is .. and every Virgo will say something similiar, even Dyr, as much as I love him, he's no different when it comes to the action of the heart .. words mean nothing, we have to "feel" it. I'm not meaning to fault them, for they are who they are .. I'm only trying to get you, Es, to see the confirmation in the responses with the male Virgo's.

"have him proclaim his love"

If there is NO passion, then a proclaimation is the only thing that can be done. They can't recognize the difference because they don't feel it. No matter what is said or done, if it's not felt, then there can be no relativity. They don't and never will grasp what this means .. that doesn't mean they can't be loved, they are incredible people .. but, the love will be proclaimed, or shown with being dutiful .. not embraced the way we need it to be.

Hey P

When do you want to learn the fact that everyone, every being, loves their partner in their own unique ways?

Do you want to standardize the love and affections too..?? make a classroom for it as HOW TO LOVE YOUR BELOVED—

Give it up..! love is freedom, freedom is love and there are no standards, and please.. keep these pseudo philosophical statements for the another time?!

Thank you

Why not date two or more men at the same time?

I don't know why more women don't do this...it might be just the thing for that Scorpic intensity...

Yeah, I know that we are normally very loyal, but something's got to give sometimes...

I wouldn't always listen to what this guy says...sometimes it's a vibe thing...maybe he meant all that stuff but then he got intimidated by your vibe...

Alot of guys say sweet stuff cos they don't want to hurt you...they're chivalrous....awwww!...but it can be misleading...

And maybe he really does care...like your grandmother cares...lol...Virguys can be like this...they want to serve...

Egurl

BTW, I think P-Angel's advice is right on the money...better than mine...I think she's got the Virgo personality nailed...I'm just putting up my 2 cents worth.

There's a guy at work, a Virguy, who does this pushme-pullyou thing with me too. He flirts...I respond...he acts distant...I ignore him...then he's back for more, looking hurt that I haven't said hi...

He's a charming guy...deep as the kitchen sink, though~

Escorpiona - as a fellow intense, passionate, emotional, intelligent and fabulous Scorpio woman -- i say YES - call him and meet him and get everything OUT! At this point you have nothing to lose and it will drive you crazy and you'll think why didn't i ask him if you do nothing... so go for it, call him now and get it over with and then you can get on with your life - with or w/o him...

"He is doing all he thinks it takes to care for someone. Sentimental appreciation does not come naturally to him"

Exactly, archer .. in his mind, he's doing what he thinks is adequate, and that's the only thing he can do .. a person has to make a decision, is this acceptable to me? If not, then move on because he cannot change who he is. Furthermore, it shouldn't be expected of him.

We are who we are .. it's up to others to comprehend our differences and apply to our lives our priorities to our needs and desires, as well as thier needs and desires.

Really, Es .. I'd move on .. but, you are you .. and you have to do what is best for you.

btw .. two times in that post, I said, I'm not faulting the Virgo for this, rather, I was trying to explain to Es, how the V's processes this. If someone WANTS to personalize something .. go for it, that's a choice.

Accept him for who he is..thats what you fell in love with in the first place right..don't try changing him..

Acceptance is the first step to happiness/harmony

Absolutely archer .. she knows how I talk .. what I mean when I use examples and references.

My treatment regime differs from everybody else, thank God .. because I am me, not you, or anybody else and that's how I want it to be.

🙂

Acceptance, that is what it is and that is what I have decided. Thus, I will NOT contact him, as I had initially posted here. I will let him make whatever moves he wants to make and see what happens next.

So he said we needed to go out on a date soon, then it is up to him to contact me, and let me know when and if I am available I will go out with him and if the right time and topics come up, then I will voice my concerns in a manner that will not be offensive to him nor demanding.

On the mean time I will continue to enjoy life how I know best, to the fullest.

Thank you all for your great advice in helping me analyze my choices. At the end, like someone said, it was my decision and such has been made!

Life goes on... 😉

ooooh. would you like some ice for that burn

Escorpiana:

Being a "keep passion under wraps" Virgo.. i would say that this guy is simply being himself. Sounds like he's given you many reasons to believe he's into you, but, he's pulling back, checking himself for a safety harness. Has he contacted you since the last date?

So said "Has he contacted you since the last date?"

Yes...

We went to lunch on Monday, after we went looking for lamps for his bedroom. Then he came to my house for coffee and a talk about the mixed messages he has given me, it was a very good conversation. He was not aware that he was giving me those messages.

We have had contact since then. Last night he called me and we were on the phone 30 minutes. This morning I sent him a text message wishing him good morning and he replied, "Thank you, u 2 love. Have fine day baby..."

That is where we stand, but no plan to see each other, but I hope we do this weekend!

So, so what do you think? Is he into me or not? 😛

Escorp - i'd say he's into you.... it's just that with them it's so hard to know how long it will last... i mean, you think everythings going along fine and then boom, something you said (you have no idea what triggered it tho) sets him off and then you don't hear from him...

but, i wouldn't worry about it, i would just enjoy the relationship, the txting, etc.... it's good right now, don't rockthe boat...

Linda, I am not planning to rock the boat...

In our conversation on Monday he said that he wanted a "casual" relationship, but by his actions, calls and his text messages and the term of endearment words he uses such as "love" and "baby" (as in his last text message )to me that means more than just casual, but then I may be wrong!

I think he used the word "casual" just because he is afraid of a serious relationship with me.

Still I am not sure if he got what I meant with the mixed messages he was giving, including using those words. If he does not mean them, why use them? He said he means them and he has continued to use them... Also after our conversation on Monday he is showing more care...

However, if we do not make plans to see each other this weekend, or soon, then I will go back to feel that he is not into me.

The Push-Pull effect I want to avoid, just wondering if it will be possible!

I KNOW! I know exactly what you are saying -- been there, done that.... it's just that you can't really DO ANYTHING about it, do you know what i mean? i DO think he's into you.... but i think the anxiety/turmoil or confusion if you will, is WITHIN THEM... they say one thing, do another or do one thing, say another...

Leaving You/Us with total confusion -- you think "i thot you said this, but you did that" so are they playing games or truly w/o knowledge of their actions/words/behavior? i think they play games, but don't think of it in their own minds as 'game playing'

anyway, i know YOU are not doing anything -- but trying to be "in a relationship wherein you like/love the person" but are totally confused by them half the time!

i just mean, enjoy it while you can, it will reveal or not reveal itself to you over time...

Escorpiana:

If he is at all a VIRGO...I would absolutely say he's "into you". I checked with my male virgo friend (who is married to a scorpio woman) and I, too, being a virgo say : he's INTO U!

He called, you saw each other, you talked, he sent back a txt message. What's wrong with that? Remember we Virgos aren't "intense"..not like Scorpios. If you're going to have a problem with going slow, or with him coming off as "casual" then bail out now. I think we virgos secretly like the Scorpio intensity -- maybe because it's completely opposite from how we view relationships. I'm certainly no expert but I do know VIRGOS

Escorp:

I agree with So, he is definitely into you. Although I'm not a Virgo, I'm an Earth sign, and I know we all tend to take things sloooww. "Commitment" is a BIG deal to us, so we're reluctant to get involved too quickly. I would take him at his word when he says it's "casual."

I've been dating a Virgo for over a year now, and he means what he says. Bottom line. As a woman, it's hard not to analyze 😉 but I've learned from my Virguy that it's really quite simple: he tells you what he's about, and that's that. They get way too confused if you try to read too much into it, because they told you exactly what they meant and they don't understand why you want more than they said they can give. Words are everything...(no matter what you think you know by his actions, the point is that what he WANTS you to know is what he tells you. So take him at his word.)

And, the push-pull thing is inevitable. That's who they are...they need time to process. Just think of it as a time when you can pursue your own interests and catch up with your own friends. If he's into you, he'll come back every time.

You have to make some concessions, just like in any relationship. Only you can decide whether you can deal with it our not. Good luck! 🙂

Well maybe the saga may be over, but between my Virgo man and I, there is still a possibility! lol

We had a wonderful date last nite... It starting to look better, but I bet some of you'all here are going to tell me not to get my hopes high. 😛

I am just glad I have gotten to know his Virgoness! 😉

Thank you'all for all you have shared...

"It starting to look better"

Great!..whatever you do, keep it that way, which usually means don't ask for too many opinions on your situation..

😛

and enjoy!

boing

Well done P-Angel, you have nothing better to do. Thank you for bringing them up. Go look there are still a couple more!