Virgo guy really hot then really cold

Hey all,

I met this great Virgo guy (gemini moon) about two months ago and we started dating pretty soon after that. He was the one initiating and asking me out and asking me to be exclusive and his gf and to meet his family. It was awesome, I really liked him as a person and thought he liked me back. Actually felt like he was the one the moment we started talking.

He was opening up to me as well about family issues and grief, and literally the day after he opened up, he started distancing himself from me - not being as affectionate, not being as kind, not really treating me nicely in some cases. He was still always messaging me first and asking to talk though, so I thought maybe he just needed space. He also stopped talking to me about anything intimate/deep/personal and would shut it down if I tried to ask anything other than small talk. I'm unsure why, as I try to be open and empathetic anytime he speaks.

Anyway, after about two-three weeks of this (but still hanging out and talking every day), he suddenly asked to go for a walk and said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that he flipped a switch on his feelings overnight and didn't feel the same. He thought I was more into him. He asked if we could be friends, I said no. It would be too hard for me as I had been growing my feelings for him - almost into love. This breakup happened last week.

Is this normal virgo behaviour? I'm trying my best to move on, but I just don't really understand how he could go from being sooo into it, to not being into it at all in the span of a day/week. Unfortunately, as a pisces with a cancer moon, it's hard for me to detach so easily but I'm trying. He has a history of not committing to things as well (past gfs, real estate decisions, plans).

I'm not going to try to get him back or anything, but just super shocked that he changed so suddenly and why...

virgo went super hot, then turned cold overnight when it started getting deeper. breakup.

Not quite falling in love yet, but the potential was there!

And that makes total sense, I'm not trying to hold on to him. Just never experienced that with anyone before.

I'm thinking about everything and it just doesn't make sense - we didn't argue, he never said anything about me making him unhappy, he told me I didn't do anything wrong (and he's the type to tell you if even a hair is out of place).

I'm guessing he just lost feelings once the newness wore off and moved on

Posted by pettypink

said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that he flipped a switch on his feelings overnight and didn't feel the same. He thought I was more into him.

Is this normal virgo behaviour?

just super shocked that he changed so suddenly and why...

This is normal EVERY person behavior, when they open up and don't get the response that tells them the receiver is all that into them. He told you himself that he thought you were more into him than you are.

This turn around happened once he opened up, and you didn't respond as if you're into him, according to how he perceived it.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me



Pisces people don't clarify themselves, they think that nuances should be enough, as in just because you're standing there feeling a certain way that he's just supposed to know that. It's not unusual for Pisces to get tossed aside because they never responded clear enough.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me that if a guy is pouring his heart out and your not showing signs of receiving, that this person would bail.



To pour the heart out is a very vulnerable state for the Virgo ....... if he doesn't see recognition in you where you realize how difficult of a position this is for him ... then he will immediately realize he made a mistake with trusting you with his heart, and he will do an a-bout-face asap.



All seems normal to me.

Posted by AquariusBeauty
Wow first of all why are you getting so attached so quickly? Two months and you're already falling in love?

He was in the infatuation phase therefore that wore off quickly and now he's moving on. Best you do the same.

His sun/moon combo produces a very fickle person who likes to dissacotiate when experiencing turmoil.

Water signs...we attach quickly and deeply....can't change it.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by pettypink

said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that he flipped a switch on his feelings overnight and didn't feel the same. He thought I was more into him.

Is this normal virgo behaviour?

just super shocked that he changed so suddenly and why...

This is normal EVERY person behavior, when they open up and don't get the response that tells them the receiver is all that into them. He told you himself that he thought you were more into him than you are.

This turn around happened once he opened up, and you didn't respond as if you're into him, according to how he perceived it.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me



Pisces people don't clarify themselves, they think that nuances should be enough, as in just because you're standing there feeling a certain way that he's just supposed to know that. It's not unusual for Pisces to get tossed aside because they never responded clear enough.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me that if a guy is pouring his heart out and your not showing signs of receiving, that this person would bail.



To pour the heart out is a very vulnerable state for the Virgo ....... if he doesn't see recognition in you where you realize how difficult of a position this is for him ... then he will immediately realize he made a mistake with trusting you with his heart, and he will do an a-bout-face asap.



All seems normal to me.

click to expand

I recognized it was very vulnerable for him to do that - I felt really privileged to hear it and closer to him because of it! I definitely let him know that I was thinking that as well. Was that not the right response?

And no, he said I was more into him than he was into me. =/ Even though he was the one pushing for everything...

Posted by pettypink

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by pettypink

said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that he flipped a switch on his feelings overnight and didn't feel the same. He thought I was more into him.

Is this normal virgo behaviour?

just super shocked that he changed so suddenly and why...

This is normal EVERY person behavior, when they open up and don't get the response that tells them the receiver is all that into them. He told you himself that he thought you were more into him than you are.

This turn around happened once he opened up, and you didn't respond as if you're into him, according to how he perceived it.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me



Pisces people don't clarify themselves, they think that nuances should be enough, as in just because you're standing there feeling a certain way that he's just supposed to know that. It's not unusual for Pisces to get tossed aside because they never responded clear enough.



why is that so confusing? seems normal to me that if a guy is pouring his heart out and your not showing signs of receiving, that this person would bail.



To pour the heart out is a very vulnerable state for the Virgo ....... if he doesn't see recognition in you where you realize how difficult of a position this is for him ... then he will immediately realize he made a mistake with trusting you with his heart, and he will do an a-bout-face asap.



All seems normal to me.

I recognized it was very vulnerable for him to do that - I felt really privileged to hear it and closer to him because of it! I definitely let him know that I was thinking that as well. Was that not the right response?

And no, he said I was more into him than he was into me. =/ Even though he was the one pushing for everything...

click to expand

That's not how I read it. He didn't say you were more into him. Once he opened up and recoiled away, he said that HE THOUGHT you were more into him. Not that you are, that he thought you were.

Your wrong response to him is the answer you're looking for. You can make excuses if you don't want to accept it if you like, but, that's what it is.

Every person is going to react this way if they open up and you aren't receiving it the way they anticipated. I can't make you understand that ... I can only present it you .. if you want to get that, you will. If you don't want to accept it, then what's the point in asking people for the answer?

I didn't write it properly the first time - he told me he thought I was more into him than he felt for me and didn't want to lead me on if feelings weren't matched.

I appreciate the answers though - lots of insight! I'm just going to focus on moving on as it seems like we weren't meant to be.

@PettyPink....

It appears as if you're more of a spectator in this relationship than someone who is involved and invested in it. He initiated everything. You initiated nothing.

As a Gemini Moon, myself, my emotions are rationalized...

With vulnerability, I'm assessing what you're capable of doing with my heart once you have it, (mentally alert, while keeping my emotions in check) once I sense deceit, or non reciprocation, then I detach faster than a speeding bullet, this is where your 'fickleness' and 'confusion' comes in with Gemini Moons.

It happens suddenly, without warning, and it rarely resurfaces. This is what throws people off.

You asserted that it would be difficult for you to detach so easily, which is quite strange, considering it didn't appear as if you were ever attached in the first place.

If that's how it seems, why would he think I was more into him then the opposite?

Also, he could have told me how he was feeling/if there were issues and I would have worked them out with him.

He just didn't want to.

@PettyPink,

You're a Pisces Sun/Cancer Moon (double water placement) and you would have worked at 'being interested'....if given the chance?

Are you telling me that the Gemini Mooner did it better than you?

Posted by pettypink
If that's how it seems, why would he think I was more into him then the opposite?

Because your words gave him the impression you were, but your actions were quite the contrary.

@Taurusbull1977

I just thought I was showing lots of it - if it was an issue, I wasn't aware of it.

I thought I was coming on strongly but I can see how it might not have seemed that way...

No, I thought that was too much for two months.

And I was the one asking to hang out a few times as well, it wasn't just him doing all the initiating.

Just an fyi...a public service announcement as it were...people don't show their true colors until 18 months+ into the relationship.

So keep that in mind when you get in your feels after only 2 months. Remind yourself that the version of the person your falling in love with might not be the real thing.

And now he's stalking my social media (I deleted him on everything but he still follows me + I have an app that shows me my viewers everyday)...

Sigh 😢

I'm trying very hard to move on from him.