What the—?

Ok, I have been off this thing for a few months, but I am still into the same 'typical' Vguy, retreating, elusive, never talked about 'us'. It's been maybe 8 months since I saw him, though we have spoken. One major retreat there! (the last time I saw him we connected big time - blew my mind). Then I speak to him a few days ago and he apologized for letting me down the week before (he was meant to meet me, business not pleasure). He flaked out on me 3 times...
Said that he was worried about seeing me coz he was worried he would try and have sex with me and that he was having 'issues' that he couldn't go into right now. I was gobsmacked. He's never even really acknowledged our fling or whatever it is.

I left it at that and invited him over tonight. I need closure now and this is my lead. He said he would call me back but didn't. I sent him a message saying 'you could at least let me know.'

So weird. i guess he knows I wanna discuss his issues and he ain't up for it. I am so intrigued. Why would someone think trying to have sex with someone is a bad move? I don't think he is seeing anyone.
I wouldn't have gone there anyway. not after 8 months of nowt. but before I would usually initiate sex. And that's the other thing, he seduces me so subtly that I have to make all the moves. Is this a virgo thang or what?!!! are they that scared of rejection? smart fellas.

He's just not into me is he? 😢
I feel like he is though. Even though his actions point to little interest.
I know I've got to be patient but I just dunno if I'm flogging a dead horse.
So hard not to call him and just say' wtf? should I give up on you?!!!!'

there is no use telling me to forget him. I'm hopelessly devoted and I tried to already. Ain't gonna happen.

Hey PiscesD,

I know that it is very hard but try to be patient. He's going to call you when he's ready. In the meantime, if you have his emal, you may want to write him what you have been thinking and how you feel about him. Do not get upset if he does not call you or show up. He already told you that he's issues. Good luck!

I hear that next winter there's going to be tremendous snowfall .. in the meantime, you could always looks for bargain book sales.

i know, i go through periods of doubt, freak out and then remind myself that it'll be ok. i have to trust that. what will be will be.
i don't have his email... but i was thinking of texting him and telling him I have something to say. I need to give him some idea of how I feel, then he will either come forward himself or tell me he ain't interested. Got nothing to lose now.

Many DXPers have said before that if a Virgo is not interested in you, he'll tell you right away, they lose no time in there. He has to figure out something in his life, and he's not promising you anything. It has to be your choice. So, show him what you are made of.

so you think I should tell him I have feelings for him and leave it with him to brood over and deal with it how he wishes?
I am so sure in my heart that there is something between us, but a little voice in my head says "you are deluded, don't embarrass yourself."

It's scary to trust your intuition completely, but it is always right.... I am pretty psychic as it goes.

"there is no use telling me to forget him. I'm hopelessly devoted and I tried to already. Ain't gonna happen."

"he was worried about seeing me coz he was worried he would try and have sex with me"

"he knows I wanna discuss his issues and he ain't up for it"

My husband just erected a new wall in our basement .. no furniture, or anything in front of it ..

yeah, i wouldn't tell him the whole truth! just hint at it. I don't even know if i'm ready for a relationship myself.... I just want him to acknowledge this 'thing' we have. it's pretty metaphysical.
but what about the sex thing... not wanting to see me in case he tried it on. I don't know how to read that.

P-Angel you are being cryptic tonight! Don't understand what you are saying.

piscesdreamer, you said ..

"I need to give him some idea of how I feel"
"he knows I wanna discuss his issues and he ain't up for it"

and

"he was worried about seeing me coz he was worried he would try and have sex with me"

Do you know what this means?

You wanna talk about emotional feelings
He doesn't
He's thinking about sex, not your feelings, luv

The writing is all over the wall .. can you see it?

if he was only thinking bout sex he would have come over and tried it on. why deny himself?

He wouldn't allow that to happen for some reason. if he didn't give a - he would have just come over, surely?

maybe he has an std

ha! that thought did cross my mind!

or maybe he senses you want to talk about feelings

Either way, a Virgo knows sooner, rather than later if they are interested in a person, it's been 8 months, piscesdreamer .. don't you think it's time to listen to that little voice that keeps whispering in your other ear?

sounds more likely he's contracted something .. in which case, it would be easier to catch him, than harder ..

.. if he can find someone to bind himself to who can handle the std (if), that's your golden pass.

Unfortunately i'm stuck with this one. Classic soul mate signs and everything.
I've 'seen' other people, but it just hasn't felt right. This ain't no conventional relationship and it ain't gonna be easy. But I'm hopeful. Don't ask me why.

I asked if there was anythng wrong down there, and he laughed. na, said he's got 'issues.'

"Classic soul mate signs and everything."

I thought he just blew you off again?

"Unfortunately i'm stuck with this one."

Yeah, well .. don't let that happen. If you feel stuck now .. try 24 fucking years of it and you'll end up a bitter old bag.

Walk away while you still can.

I can't. This is bigger than me. Fortunately I have learnt to compartmentalize it and get on with my life, more so than ever.

speaking from experience?

I truly hope that you are able to work through this .. you're sweet and deserve a nice man ..

.. pd, you said that you don't tell him the truth .. Virgo's aren't going to be played like that .. if he knows your not honest with him .. he's gone.

If there's a way to work it out, I'm hoping for you to find it .. if not, you have to let go .. I know how hard it is being a Pisces and having romantic dreams .. but, if this is actually the other side of the rainbow .. you have to come to the realization of it .. I know it's hard, but, it's imparative the Fishes mental well-being to comprehend was is real and what is fantasy.

Wishing you all the best 🙂

I wonder where the hell the ?trolls? are..!

Fish to fish talk?get this fish talks to the fish board please?

This is Virgo board?.. please?!

I am going to puke?!!

Fishies needing Virgo insight!

trolls?

Yeah exactly? Virgos talk? not the FISH insights?

Get it..??

any input is welcome!

Piscesdreamer .. Archer had a good idea .. send him a (tiny) message, stating that you have some things you need to talk about with him .. if he responds quickly, seeming eager to talk with you about it .. keep your chin up .. if he ignores the text, or responds with something that sounds like he's trying to avoid your feelings .. then he's not interested in pursueing this any further.

Move on .. but, that's not to say that someday he might have a change of heart and contact you .. if he does .. he has to be accountable for your feelings.

Too often, men are allowed to ignore women's feelings, yet, the woman is suppose to be at their disposal when they feel good and ready .. you're a person, too. If you show him that the material you are made of is to just sit back, waiting to be at his beck-and-call .. you will appear weak to him and he'll leave you waiting for ages, simply because he can. Trust me .. Virgo men DON'T like weak women .. make him stand tall, or leave.

Good Luck

You have this freaking ?PHISH fucking angel? which is talking about what Virgos are..

See..?? FISH to FISH talk..!

So get it to the fish tank and do what ever fuck you want to do with your conclusions and son on..!

This is Virgo board.. !

Please?

yeah, but she's married to a VIRGO!

you have only two choices fish? stay.. or move on?

for the rest? what do you care..??

pd .. Q-bone won't give insight, luv

Perhaps another will .. Shaka spoke .. he's a male V

Insight..??.... what insight..??

You are not her.. and she is not you..(hopefully) ..surgical interference is not your goddamn business.. she asked for Virgos insight not the fish insights?!

and ahh?

shaka is your bitch now—..lol? let him talk for himself..!

?

Q-bone won't give insight, luv

This is damn insulting when some stupid fish like you talking about Virgos..

How many times do I have to ask you to ?respect yourself and shut the hell up?---??

go back to your goddamn fish tank and SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT VIRGOS?

kappish..??

Piscesdreamer

As I said..

You have only two choice? stay.. or leave?!

That's all I can say as VIRGO..! fuck the rest..

Sure your virgo think the same.. stay or leave..

You know what I mean..??

What the fucking drama is about..??

piscesdreamer

I don't live your life, and no one should be allowed to give you insight about what to do or how to do next.

It is your life..!

Unique and precious..!

I wish you good luck with it..

If you want advice?.!?

STAY AWAY FROM VULTURES LIKE ?PEE ANGEL?..!

Qbone you have so much wisdom... 😉

but no one has answered my question!!! stop arguing on my damn post!

I love Virgos, but they are damn infuriating! In fact mine actually acknowledged that it keeps him interesting. Slightly disturbing. so sly. If he's toying with me...there will be hell to pay! grrrr.

Hi dreamer...I have a humble and simple reason for his aloofness. It is not male debauchery, or a cunning plan to get you all interested and then drop you so he can snicker behind your back. Neither is it just sex or he would have gone for that. He like you, and he is shy period. So far as I know, it is not a crime to be shy. I suggest you gently pull him out of his shell so that he can gradually build up trust in you. Enough trust is a must for him to spill his soul out to someone. It's like seeing a beautiful snake in the grass, and not wanting it to go anywhere so you can look upon it and appreciate it, and yet you don't want it to bite you either. So you poke it and stand back...poke it and stand back....make it come towards you and run... I really think he likes you.

PD, be patient. Don't tear yourself apart. Our day will come 🙂

Thankyou! that's more like it. tell me what I wanna hear. That's why we come on these boards really innit? 😉

I guess maybe he is shy. He has a real 'street' confidence that would fool most people, but he was always very backwards about making a move on me. In fact I always initiated. But to come out and say " I was worried I would try to have sex with you." A shy person doesn't say that. Do they?

He is one massive contradiction and he knows that is what keeps me interested. But what is the point in keeping someone interested if you are never gonna see them?

ya, his long term ex gf cheated on him. a few years ago i think.

we've already had sex (I know, don't judge me!), so think he is ok with it. or he was...

"tell me what I wanna hear. That's why we come on these boards really innit?"

Yeah, pretty much .. because most people don't want to hear the voice inside their heads telling them what they need .. fuck it, seems to be the norm .. it's much more appealing to our ego's to hear what we want, instead.

Well whether you should go on depends on what you want. Do you like games, acting like you should be both at primary school? Do you enjoy the total randomness of it all, the when/if/how/etc...? Do you miss being at school and having teenager relationships?

If yes, then you should go on 😉

Update! well, I saw him last night. We went for a drink. He's had an illness in the family... was nice to see him. Still really fancy him, but I wasn't overwhelmed like I have been in the past. Think that is because something happened the weekend before with a friend of mine. Someone I have an enormous amount of respect for, a best mate really. anyway, we can't be together and I don't even think I want to be romantically, but it's nice to know someone really digs you for all the right reasons and just tells you straight. Made me realise love is everywhere, we shouldn't rely on that one person to fulfill that need... and that gave me a real buzz.

So anyway, I'm not so hung up on this guy. Starting to see things as they really are at last! He invited me back to his after the drinks and I said no. He persisted, but I stood firm (6 months ago I would not have been able to resist) and he walked me to the bus stop. We had a snog and then he invited himself to mine. I said 'no, I ain't doing that anymore... coz I won't see you for another 6 months.' He said, 'you will.' I said I hadn't seen him for months since the last time. He just came out with this crap about how women are all the same, they want to pin you down, he's done the LTR, he's through with it. bla bla bla. Just hate hearing that crap. it's so lame. To make a sweeping generalisation like that. Quite insulting. So I said 'that's a shame you think that, coz I'm not like other women.' He said 'no you certainly aren't' and laughed. But I felt fine about it. Very matter of fact. If that is his attitude then he's less attractive to me... and at least he's not taken (that was my biggest fear when I hadn't heard from him). Hey ho, I think my obsession has subsided. i'll always like him, but he's off that pedestal now. I got some kind of closure... I knew he was a commitment-phobe, i just needed to hear him say it.
I've got more important life issues to worry about than focus on him.
I feel really relieved...

PD,

Good to hear. Sometimes people help us with moving on in life. You were able to see the Virgo guy for what he really is now. This is good for you because you opened your eyes to someone else who may possibly be a better match for you. It's a shame the both of you weren't on the same page since you really do have feelings for him. The feelings may not be as intense as they once were but now your mind is free to explore. Keep up the good work.

Thanks Mystical, I do feel much more positive and in control of my life now - like I woke up from being under a spell. And guess what - Virgo guy texted me to ask what I was doing tonight. Luckily i was on my way out already. I didn't even reply! Things have really changed. I would have replied straight away a month ago. Don't get me wrong, I still really like him, but I realise he's not the be all and end all and I'm in a much better frame of mind to start a relationship if he came round to the idea, more take it or leave it, but it would have to be on a mature, honest, no game playing basis if he was up for something more than sex.....
I do wonder what his thoughts are now though, coz he knows I am not into just sleeping with him anymore and that's all I think he wants... he is a cheeky one however. I wouldn't put it past him to give me another try after I turned him down the other night. His ego probably can't take it.