Break up with Taurus man, what now?

I was in a relationship with a Taurus man for 7 months. Ever since the beginning it was wonderful. He spoiled me, took me places, treated me with respect and communicated his feelings very maturely.

He has kids from a previous relationship and since the beginning this was an issue for him to even start the relationship. He feels he failed as a father because a couple of years ago he had to go away for 6 months and missed big events in his children’s life. In those 6 months his ex cheated on him and blamed him for not being there so they broke up and he left the house.

He punishes hisself for not being there for the kids and feels like because he failed as a father he shouldn’t be in a relationship. The relationship with his kids isn’t what it’s supposed to be and so he can never introduce a lady in their lives, are his thoughts.

I never put pressure on him and always said that he should work on the relationship with his kids first before ever thinking about introducing me. He is also scared that I will want a kid soon and he doesn’t want any more kids. I told him that I’d rather be with him than wanting a kid (I never had a strong wish for having kids of my own).

These two subjects kept recurring in the last two months and I could tell he was struggling with it but he decided to give it a chance every time.

The last discussion was two weeks ago and we decided to give it another try. My birthday is next Monday and we planned to go away together. He was really making an effort as he always did. Calling me, texting me, making plans. I never felt he wasn’t into it.

Then 1,5 weeks ago we got into a small argument about something unrelated and hell broke loose. He said he was done and it was enough and it’s just not working. This came as a total shock to me as I thought we working on things and were doing good. I felt no compassion in that convo and so I just decided to accept whatever his decision was.

A couple of days ago we met up to talk about it. While we were talking he was holding my hands, told me he missed me, asked me for hugs. BUT his decision was made, he thought about it and just couldn’t see how he could let go of all these fears about the future. Told me he isn’t ready for a relationship and feels relieved he’s not in one anymore. He also thinks I should of seen it coming. He said it has nothing to with me, it’s all him.

I am absolutely heartbroken. We clicked on every aspect, he always told me how much he loved me and didn’t see a life without me. Told me all his secrets and considered me to be his best friend. But how can you leave this easy?

After he left he texted me he’s sorry and if he could turn back the time he would’ve handled it differently.

What do you guys think, is he gone for good? Doesn’t he love me anymore?

Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

A lot of lip service but nothing else.

Posted by MonaLisa26
I am so sorry for your pain. Something here isn’t right.

He did tell you he loved you and can’t imagine his life without you? It was a heavy load he was putting in front of you to take it back.

I would be mad more than sad!

He lied to himself. You were just there. Listening to his bullshit.

He is sound like an overly dramatic man.

Yes, he misses 6 months if his kids lives!

Some parents do due to a job cituation or other things in life. It’s not like he abandoned them! What’s the big deal? Seems like an excuse before retreat.

I read you as he was more a doom and gloom BUT ACTED as an adult and gentleman when his head and heart weren’t HONEST!

He treated you as a ‘trial’ relationship to see IF he can have relationship.

You said first argument about nothing and he is done? Well…not looking like it.

Remember what was this about?

This triggered something though you don’t see it like this. He did.

You fell for a man who wasn’t available.

He did you wrong. He experimented with a human heart. I would be so mad - my madness would cure that love as 1 2 3!

You aren’t a toy! He lead you on. Did he care enough to at least wait until after your BDay IF HE LOVES YOU? He should had! He didn’t.

Apparently his moaning about his children is his shtick and an excuse. It stinks a lot!

Man is trash. He knows what’s right but only applied it to himself. You? Ahhhh…she will live…he thought IF he thought about you at all at that moment.

Get mad! Don’t cry for him. It was an act. Unless that argument showed him something he never seen in you before and he told himself - can’t live with it! Out!

Again. So sorry for your pain. At least you have closure which is really doesn’t help. But everyone want ‘closure’ and I always saying - no you don’t. Closure is never helps. Stay strong. Move on.

Thank you for your empathy. To be honest it really did feel genuine until the very last week. The ending did not match with the relationship, that’s what hurts the most. It felt very disrespectful, while the most beautiful about our entire relationship was how well we communicated 😢

I think he decided to make things official with me 7 months ago because else he wouldve lost me. But he never fought those demons in his head

Posted by originalsanch
Idk he sounds married lol.

Lol I’m a 100% sure he isn’t married! We were together almost every day and the moments we were not we were always calling and texting. Also we live in a small town so i would’ve known

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him

Posted by TheAquaGirl
I was in a relationship with a Taurus man for 7 months. Ever since the beginning it was wonderful. He spoiled me, took me places, treated me with respect and communicated his feelings very maturely.



He has kids from a previous relationship and since the beginning this was an issue for him to even start the relationship. He feels he failed as a father because a couple of years ago he had to go away for 6 months and missed big events in his children’s life. In those 6 months his ex cheated on him and blamed him for not being there so they broke up and he left the house.



He punishes hisself for not being there for the kids and feels like because he failed as a father he shouldn’t be in a relationship. The relationship with his kids isn’t what it’s supposed to be and so he can never introduce a lady in their lives, are his thoughts.



I never put pressure on him and always said that he should work on the relationship with his kids first before ever thinking about introducing me. He is also scared that I will want a kid soon and he doesn’t want any more kids. I told him that I’d rather be with him than wanting a kid (I never had a strong wish for having kids of my own).



These two subjects kept recurring in the last two months and I could tell he was struggling with it but he decided to give it a chance every time.



The last discussion was two weeks ago and we decided to give it another try. My birthday is next Monday and we planned to go away together. He was really making an effort as he always did. Calling me, texting me, making plans. I never felt he wasn’t into it.



Then 1,5 weeks ago we got into a small argument about something unrelated and hell broke loose. He said he was done and it was enough and it’s just not working. This came as a total shock to me as I thought we working on things and were doing good. I felt no compassion in that convo and so I just decided to accept whatever his decision was.



A couple of days ago we met up to talk about it. While we were talking he was holding my hands, told me he missed me, asked me for hugs. BUT his decision was made, he thought about it and just couldn’t see how he could let go of all these fears about the future. Told me he isn’t ready for a relationship and feels relieved he’s not in one anymore. He also thinks I should of seen it coming. He said it has nothing to with me, it’s all him.



I am absolutely heartbroken. We clicked on every aspect, he always told me how much he loved me and didn’t see a life without me. Told me all his secrets and considered me to be his best friend. But how can you leave this easy?



After he left he texted me he’s sorry and if he could turn back the time he would’ve handled it differently.



What do you guys think, is he gone for good? Doesn’t he love me anymore?

I’m sorry I’m laughing at his excuse

Six months and now he can’t be in a relationship

Nice try to string u along

That’s all

He was doing he knew it from the start that it was temporary otherwise if he’s so damaged about six month of not being a great father he should have never started a relationship

Watch he’ll be with another person n this won’t be an issue

This is not you

This is him not being a good guy gaslighting his horrible behavior whist using his kids as an excuse

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him

click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?

I wish I could tell if he's acting out of care or playing victim.. my experience with taurus ex is still very confusing to me.. until this day I doubt all his words and actions, I am not sure if his intentions were true or he was just a very good manipulator.

Regardless of the sign, if someone wants out, let them go. If you don't you'll end up hurting yourself.

It's hard but we can't force things to happen the way we want.. just take care of yourself x

The way I see it, I don't think he was being disingenuous but that he's got stuff on his mind and for some reason, can't reconcile including you in his life with his own life not sorted out. He's doing what he feels is best for him. But, his mind can be changed. But don't force it because he'll double down on his decision... I'd let him be even though there's a bunch of things going on though, I think it can work out strangely.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?

click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car

He is sleeping and damn near back together with his kids mom.

He’s a coward.

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car

click to expand

How’s your financial situation? Taurus are attracted to money and stability.

Taurus are very good at leading double lives by the way.

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by DMV

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car
click to expand

How’s your financial situation? Taurus are attracted to money and stability.



Taurus are very good at leading double lives by the way.




click to expand

Aren’t they providers themselves and known for stability?

Where is Jane to stick up for her fella Bulls?

click to expand

Yes. I believe this Taurus guy wants to be there for his kid but his situation with the ex is quite messy. When Taurus feel overwhelmed, they really want to simplify and reduce things in their life. Unfortunately, he's determined that dumping an Aqua girl is the right thing to do to solve this internal dilemma. I can't say he's right about that, but I can't say he's wrong about wanting to figure it out.

I would say he's trying to avoid collateral damage.

Guys, thank you for your responses. Let me elaborate a bit more. I am from a small country. It takes about 4 hours to get from one side to the other. In our country it is unusual to leave for months at a time because it is unnecessary cause the country is so small. When he had to leave his kids behind he had to leave to the country unexpectedly and unwillingly. During this time his youngest son was born and he missed the birth of his son. His son was born early and now has health issues because of that. His oldest daughter is traumatized because her father suddenly wasn’t there and cries at school because he’s not in the house anymore. And I think he’s traumatized as well because he didn’t want to leave but had to. His middle son doesn’t want to spend time with him and it hurts him badly.

When we first met he wasnt able to see his kids (mother wouldn’t allow it). Now there is some progress but it’s not close to what a “normal” parental relationship should look like.

In his mind he cannot bring anymore disappointment to these kids life and doesn’t deserve the pleasure of having a girlfriend while being a “bad” father. Let alone introduce them to one. He is someone who gives a 100% in a relationship, so not being able (due to his own unrealistic fears) made him quit the relationship.

I don’t think he’s with his ex or anyone else for that matter. He and his ex don’t get along.

Posted by Midnite_Riser
You're an Aquarius girl, you can't be mad at breaking up with a Taurus man.......

Lol what does this mean?

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by DMV

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car
click to expand

How’s your financial situation? Taurus are attracted to money and stability.



Taurus are very good at leading double lives by the way.




click to expand

Aren’t they providers themselves and known for stability?

Where is Jane to stick up for her fella Bulls?

click to expand

He was a huge provider even though I didn’t need it! I think it was his way of showing he cared

Posted by RollergirlOrc

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by DMV

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car
click to expand

How’s your financial situation? Taurus are attracted to money and stability.



Taurus are very good at leading double lives by the way.




click to expand

Aren’t they providers themselves and known for stability?

Where is Jane to stick up for her fella Bulls?
click to expand

Yes. I believe this Taurus guy wants to be there for his kid but his situation with the ex is quite messy. When Taurus feel overwhelmed, they really want to simplify and reduce things in their life. Unfortunately, he's determined that dumping an Aqua girl is the right thing to do to solve this internal dilemma. I can't say he's right about that, but I can't say he's wrong about wanting to figure it out.

click to expand

I was looking for an answer like this to know how a Taurus handles stress and internal dilemma. Maybe i should’ve asked differently.

I’m not sure if he’s figuring it out though. Kinda seems like he’s just going to accept that he’ll never be able to get into a relationship again and he should’ve have entered this one in the first place 😢

Posted by TheAquaGirl
Guys, thank you for your responses. Let me elaborate a bit more. I am from a small country. It takes about 4 hours to get from one side to the other. In our country it is unusual to leave for months at a time because it is unnecessary cause the country is so small. When he had to leave his kids behind he had to leave to the country unexpectedly and unwillingly. During this time his youngest son was born and he missed the birth of his son. His son was born early and now has health issues because of that. His oldest daughter is traumatized because her father suddenly wasn’t there and cries at school because he’s not in the house anymore. And I think he’s traumatized as well because he didn’t want to leave but had to. His middle son doesn’t want to spend time with him and it hurts him badly.



When we first met he wasnt able to see his kids (mother wouldn’t allow it). Now there is some progress but it’s not close to what a “normal” parental relationship should look like.



In his mind he cannot bring anymore disappointment to these kids life and doesn’t deserve the pleasure of having a girlfriend while being a “bad” father. Let alone introduce them to one. He is someone who gives a 100% in a relationship, so not being able (due to his own unrealistic fears) made him quit the relationship.



I don’t think he’s with his ex or anyone else for that matter. He and his ex don’t get along.

So his wife somehow cheated on him soon after (or before) giving birth, but is angry at him because he was FORCED to leave the home for 6 months....? Sounds a bit farfetched.

If they are not going to reconcile, the most he could hope for is joint custody, meaning his kids may get to spend 2-3 days a week with him. I once dated someone who had joint custody of two boys and this arrangement didn't cause any issues. Your Taurus could still be free to spend time with you during the rest of the week. Having a stable partner (of several months) would be actually seen as a positive thing and may help his case during the custody battle.

Yes, he had issues, but nothing that would have prevented him from seeing you, if he wanted to. I guess he was not that keen, or at least not afraid of losing you. Taurus and Aqua (my parents) are one of the worst possible combinations... My parents were fixed and stubborn, but with very different values, likes and dislikes. The main reason they stayed together was because they had the same Moon (in Leo) and so they secretly enjoyed the daily drama they were causing.

Posted by Undine

Posted by TheAquaGirl
Guys, thank you for your responses. Let me elaborate a bit more. I am from a small country. It takes about 4 hours to get from one side to the other. In our country it is unusual to leave for months at a time because it is unnecessary cause the country is so small. When he had to leave his kids behind he had to leave to the country unexpectedly and unwillingly. During this time his youngest son was born and he missed the birth of his son. His son was born early and now has health issues because of that. His oldest daughter is traumatized because her father suddenly wasn’t there and cries at school because he’s not in the house anymore. And I think he’s traumatized as well because he didn’t want to leave but had to. His middle son doesn’t want to spend time with him and it hurts him badly.



When we first met he wasnt able to see his kids (mother wouldn’t allow it). Now there is some progress but it’s not close to what a “normal” parental relationship should look like.



In his mind he cannot bring anymore disappointment to these kids life and doesn’t deserve the pleasure of having a girlfriend while being a “bad” father. Let alone introduce them to one. He is someone who gives a 100% in a relationship, so not being able (due to his own unrealistic fears) made him quit the relationship.



I don’t think he’s with his ex or anyone else for that matter. He and his ex don’t get along.

So his wife somehow cheated on him soon after (or before) giving birth, but is angry at him because he was FORCED to leave the home for 6 months....? Sounds a bit farfetched.



If they are not going to reconcile, the most he could hope for is joint custody, meaning his kids may get to spend 2-3 days a week with him. I once dated someone who had joint custody of two boys and this arrangement didn't cause any issues. Your Taurus could still be free to spend time with you during the rest of the week. Having a stable partner (of several months) would be actually seen as a positive thing and may help his case during the custody battle.



Yes, he had issues, but nothing that would have prevented him from seeing you, if he wanted to. I guess he was not that keen, or at least not afraid of losing you. Taurus and Aqua (my parents) are one of the worst possible combinations... My parents were fixed and stubborn, but with very different values, likes and dislikes. The main reason they stayed together was because they had the same Moon (in Leo) and so they secretly enjoyed the daily drama they were causing.

click to expand

The joint custody would’ve been an amazing solution, unfortunately not possible because of his unpredictable job. That’s also the reason why he still sees his kids irregularly.

I sadly have to agree with the part that he wasn’t that afraid of losing me. Chose his irrational thinking instead of me

It’s just so hard when (from my perspective) everything was going great and now I don’t have my person anymore. It keeps me busy 24/7

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car

click to expand

During the 7 months did you ever discuss together where it was going? Exclusivity? Future plans etc?

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by originalsanch
Idk he sounds married lol.

Lol I’m a 100% sure he isn’t married! We were together almost every day and the moments we were not we were always calling and texting. Also we live in a small town so i would’ve known

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Not necessarily, I too live in a small town and my friend found out a little girl in her daughter's 4th grade class is really her sister. She too thought she was spending all of her time with her husband.

I agree a lot of parents have to be away from their kids to work. If he thought he didn't spend much time with them before it's not too late. What's wrong with making it up to them now.? It sounds like he's feeding you a bunch of bull. I wouldn't be suprised if he's not getting back with the kids mother and lying to you.

This guy has too much emotional baggage, like he’s a whole grown ass man and acting hot and cold like he doesn’t know what he wants. His weird and misplaced guilt over his kids (I’m assuming he went away from work or an emergency or something) is something that he’s going to have to work through on his own, issues that belong to him only. Be glad that it was only 7 months.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car
click to expand

During the 7 months did you ever discuss together where it was going? Exclusivity? Future plans etc?

click to expand

We were pretty much exclusive since the beginning, before we officially started the relationship.

Until two months ago we were just enjoying each other and I could’ve easily kept going like that. But then he started initiating discussing future plans and struggled with the issues mentioned before. He would literally lose sleep over all these future problems he created in his head. He’s so stubborn and sees everything as black & white. It was always very hard to ensure him that the worst case scenarios (me leaving him to have a baby, me being introduced to the kids then leaving him and the kids, the kids thinking he’s a bad father cause he has a gf he spends a lot of time with instead of them) he envisioned were unlikely to happen. I don’t know if these are Taurus traits

For whatever reason or excuse, he's not ready to be in a relationship with you. He knows what you want in a relationship and he doesn't want to provide that.

He has a ton of excuses, but they all lead to "now is not the time" for him to be in a relationship.

There is no clear cut reasoning that we could suggest to make sense, and he obviously isn't scared to lose you.

The best you can do is give him his space and go no contact and see what happens.

He has tons of baggage and like nano said, good thing it's only ben a few months and no kids are involved.

His laundry list of reasons is enough to let him walk out the door and keep going. It's off-putting.

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheAquaGirl

Posted by LadyNeptune
Did you ever meet his friends or other family members?

You ever spent the night at his place?

I have met his friends, we’d go out with them a lot. I have met some of his family members, his nephew and his brother in law. He would sometime FaceTime me while he was with his youngest daughter, which was a huge step for him
click to expand

So that’s a no to spending the night at his place?
click to expand

Sorry I missed that, yes I’ve spent the night at his place but he was at my place more often because I don’t have a car
click to expand

During the 7 months did you ever discuss together where it was going? Exclusivity? Future plans etc?






click to expand

We were pretty much exclusive since the beginning, before we officially started the relationship.



Until two months ago we were just enjoying each other and I could’ve easily kept going like that. But then he started initiating discussing future plans and struggled with the issues mentioned before. He would literally lose sleep over all these future problems he created in his head. He’s so stubborn and sees everything as black & white. It was always very hard to ensure him that the worst case scenarios (me leaving him to have a baby, me being introduced to the kids then leaving him and the kids, the kids thinking he’s a bad father cause he has a gf he spends a lot of time with instead of them) he envisioned were unlikely to happen. I don’t know if these are Taurus traits

click to expand

I personally don't think these are universal traits at all.

You have his version of events. If you ever had gotten the ex's and children's side of things then I'm sure the overall picture would look a bit different. Just another reason for him to keep you separate from his actual life, his kids.

There is something here he is has omitted. Why the overwhelming guilt over 6 months missed from being around his kids? Why is he holding onto what is really a blip in time. There has to be something more that happened. Young kids don't hate their parents for being gone for work. That's not a thing. And all 3 feel this way? Suss.

Him being afraid that you will leave him so he leaves you first. Either he is the #1 self sabotager of all time or, far more likely, this is an easy "its not you, its me" out for him. A way for him to bail while not burning bridges completely. I hope you can see it was not fear of you leaving him. Someone who wants you around does not discard you so easily.