Can I get taurus man back?

He's a taurus sun, scorpio moon, cancer rising. I'm a libra sun, Pisces moon, Pisces rising if relevant.

I left my taurus ex of 7 years and my home in October for personal reasons that I do not want to get into. It was a valid reason that he says he understands but can not respect because of the way I left. I left with saying that this was not me leaving him and that I still want to be with him but that I needed to leave to deal with things. I know that's vague but it's very personal and was very serious and I don't want to get into the specifics.

He broke up with a week after I left. It's been hell for him and I dealing with it. We've both felt angry and abandoned by each other. I started going to therapy weekly and have worked through my emotions and realized I'm not angry at him and that I'm just upset and leaning into anger as a secondary emotion to cope with the pain. I shut down over the course of our breakup pushing myself to just get over it and bury my feelings.

I realized that I wanted to ask him to work it out because this relationship means everything to me and I don't think I can love anyone like him nor do I want a future with anyone but him.

It's been close to a month of me talking to him. Some things he's told me is that he still loves me, he doesn't think he can live anyone else like he's loved me, he misses me, he's not sexually attracted to anyone like he is me, he gets instantly hard at the sound of my voice or being around me. He's gone back and forth on saying he wants to think about it and that there's no chance. He says I broke his trust by leaving and that if he let's me in again he's afraid I'll just do it again. I've apologized for the way I left and told him I have learned from it and wouldn't do it again.

My question is what can I do?? I saw him Wednesday and he seemed pretty serious that he didn't want to work it out which was completely different from Monday him telling me he needed to think. I texted him that I'm going to leave him alone and focus on my healing . I said I love you and if you decide what we have is worth fixing let me know.

Is the no contact rule really beneficial ? I feel like I needed to prove myself through consistency of showing him I'm serious about him and our future but I don't want to overwhelm him or push him away.

There has never been any cheating or disloyalty in our relationship. What I left for was due to family issues.

Bump

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Without knowing the specifics, it sounds like you torpedoed the relationship and broke the bond of trust. It comes as no surprise that the Taurus is hesitant to get back with you.

But the following is very telling:

"I started going to therapy weekly and have worked through my emotions and realized I'm not angry at him and that I'm just upset and leaning into anger as a secondary emotion to cope with the pain."

So, you needed therapy to realise that using him as a punchbag was wrong? That's an indication that you lack self-awareness, which I'm sure the Taurus has become more aware of. This coupled with a lack of trust doesn't bode well for the future.

As for leaving home, how will the relationship continue (if it does) with the distance? Even if the Taurus decides to trust you again, how will that aspect play out?

My advice would be to leave him be. Give him some time alone. If he comes around, take things from there. You've created a lot of pain and resentment, which would be difficult for anyone to overcome.

That's a huge assumption to say I used him as a punching bag?? No me being angry about the situation does not mean I was lashing out, it just means I was angry.

And no I didn't need therapy to realize that completely. I went to therapy for help to work through my own personal issues and to cope with my feelings better.

I appreciate your response and do intend on backing off and leaving the decision up to him.

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Also, you need to learn to cope better with your emotions, especially during a crisis, while being empathetic to the needs and emotions of others involved.

You practically bailed on him and, according to your story, his feelings have been secondary to yours. From where I'm standing, that doesn't make a healthy partnership.

I understand how it seems that way. I can't go into why I left. It was an important decision although I do understand that it felt like betrayal to him.

Posted by Saturn_Returns

Posted by Libragal57

Posted by Saturn_Returns
Without knowing the specifics, it sounds like you torpedoed the relationship and broke the bond of trust. It comes as no surprise that the Taurus is hesitant to get back with you.
But the following is very telling:
"I started going to therapy weekly and have worked through my emotions and realized I'm not angry at him and that I'm just upset and leaning into anger as a secondary emotion to cope with the pain."
So, you needed therapy to realise that using him as a punchbag was wrong? That's an indication that you lack self-awareness, which I'm sure the Taurus has become more aware of. This coupled with a lack of trust doesn't bode well for the future.
As for leaving home, how will the relationship continue (if it does) with the distance? Even if the Taurus decides to trust you again, how will that aspect play out?
My advice would be to leave him be. Give him some time alone. If he comes around, take things from there. You've created a lot of pain and resentment, which would be difficult for anyone to overcome.

That's a huge assumption to say I used him as a punching bag?? No me being angry about the situation does not mean I was lashing out, it just means I was angry.

And no I didn't need therapy to realize that completely. I went to therapy for help to work through my own personal issues and to cope with my feelings better.

I appreciate your response and do intend on backing off and leaving the decision up to him.

click to expand

I'm just going by the quote. With most of the specifics omitted, I can't read any further into what actually happened.

click to expand

I understand. I'm just trying to figure out what I can do best in this situation.

The duration of the relationship (7 years) tells me that even though you said you were leaving, maybe to him it felt much more permanent than what you intended. Did you ever say, "I'll be back"? was it a ghosting? Did you leave him hanging. I would explain to him how urgent it was to be with your family. But then again, not entirely sure why exactly you left him altogether as in "see ya"

Wtf did you leave for

Are you asking how to change the mind of the most stubborn zodiac sign? 😄

Posted by Undine
Are you asking how to change the mind of the most stubborn zodiac sign?

LOLOLOL

Well, it’s kinda hard to tell that you want him as a partner if you’re choosing to go at life’s problems without him.

If Taurus men feels like you’re the still the obsession then he will be back.

If he ever held a torch for someone else and still does, you don’t want him back.

That’s sad you left him and let your family come between you.

There’s nothing you can do - he’s a Taurus, stubborn as hell

If he's still attached to you, there's a chance. But please give it time. More time than you think. If it's ever over, he will go full no contact, not even answering any calls or messages whatsoever.

I’m surprised he was even responding to you....

Fixed earth love sex so he might come back around for a booty call. Total dysfunction from that point.

I don't think so.

Just wanted to update all that we're getting back together. I was really starting to give up hope after a long month courtship. Thank you all for the advice! I know my man well and knew that if we were going to be together again that I was going to have to put in some work to show I meant everything I said

Posted by Libragal57
Just wanted to update all that we're getting back together. I was really starting to give up hope after a long month courtship. Thank you all for the advice! I know my man well and knew that if we were going to be together again that I was going to have to put in some work to show I meant everything I said

Hope you're doing great with him now!