Repeating the Past because the Present/Future is boring (Page 2)

Posted by HappyCapper
Considered it about a second, then trashed the idea and now I'm fully into trying to make a hobby my job. I'm fully aware it's an aaalmost unrealistic dream, but I'm going for it--at least I'll have fun in the mean-time. And I'm much rather single than with a 60% :er (not counting 100% as flawless, since there are no such relationships), but that's me. In my native language, there's a saying that goes something like this (badly translated):

*You don't have more fun than what fun you create for yourself.*

What do you love? What's your passion? Maybe your future won't be so bad, after all?

I love Christmas, food and traveling

I’ll book something tonight

Im also feeling stagnant.

However!, I would only revisit the past on something I TRULY WANTED and I UNDERSTAND the mistakes enough to not repeat them.

Ive tried punching those walls out of stubbornness. I wrecked myself, no thanks.

I wouldn't revisit the past unless I can Do things differently and/or things are different.

@DMV you mentioned friendship at the end.

Currently, Do you have that kind of support?

Cuz honestly sonetimes thats really what we want with friendship+ support, company, encouragement, affection...booty😂 etc...

Posted by Truemara
I remember reading in Bible or gnostic gospels with Jesus saying you can’t go

Back to your own vomit. —?

Ahh, yes......words of wisdom

As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

If I were to add the most desirable qualities and subtract the usual bad habits and flaws, I would say I'm a 60 percent-er who dated and married 55-65 percenters.

We're good. Actually, more than good. It's a perfect match!

Before you go on a date, have a honest look at yourself.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II
This is why women can't have nice things

Men don’t settle?!

That’s news to me

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Nope. We approach it more rationally. We don't see it as settling, but building. Men don't usually fuck around. If we settle down it's cuz we made up our mind.

Women are whimsical and will jump in and out of things and make half-baked decisions. That's also why women initiate most divorces. I mean I'm guessing it's not cuz men suck on average more than women and are impossible to live with, but bc women can't fully commit to anything without 2nd guessing themselves all the time.

Posted by DMV

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by DMV

Posted by MyStarsShine
What’s the 40% that’d be missing, D?

Marriage and kids but I’m okay with missing out in those.

It’s too late for me to have kids.
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Would you consider fostering or adopting, D?
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Idk, it sounds ideal.

I’d have to think long and hard because no kid deserves my bullshit and mood swings lol

Maybe fostering teenagers would be more ideal as they have lives and a time limit

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My Aunti had no kids and what she did for a while was foster foster kids. So these kids had foster familys but they'd hang out with her on the weekends and shit, give the foster parents a break because you know how hard foster kids can be. She's a horse person so the kids would get to spend a lot of time around horses and doing farm stuff which was great for them.

Posted by DMV

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by DMV

Posted by MyStarsShine
What’s the 40% that’d be missing, D?

Marriage and kids but I’m okay with missing out in those.

It’s too late for me to have kids.
click to expand

Would you consider fostering or adopting, D?
click to expand

Idk, it sounds ideal.

I’d have to think long and hard because no kid deserves my bullshit and mood swings lol

Maybe fostering teenagers would be more ideal as they have lives and a time limit

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How about being an advocate for a child. The CASA program for neglected/abused kids is a great volunteer program. Wouldn’t be full-time parent.

I think you should do what makes you happy, not what it seems you should do. To me a relationship should only happen when it’s right. There is a definite difference to being single & independent and being in a committed relationship. Usually relationships are full of compromise. You get other good things too like companionship. But, it needs to be right. I’m not sure about percentages, it’s more of a safe and comfort thing. Being comfortable to be you and not feeling like you need to escape it. And by the way all 50’s & 60’s guys I’ve known have wanted sex. Older doesn’t mean they don’t want it, it just might present a bit differently.

Are you in full menopause or you are having perimenopause symptoms? Those went on for me for a long time before I was in actual menopause. Doc said I could still get pregnant btw. Menopause wasn’t til early 50’s.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Libra4rmTX
I've done it. Just got thru doing it. Really hurt somebody tho and it was unintentional. But I'm naturally a distant person. I just don't do closeness with ppl. I like the freedom of feeling my own emotions only. I know that sounds selfish and it is. I'm a good father. I'm a good family man. I'm the patriarch to my mother's side and I'm only 36. Shit is stressful. And when you're sensitive you're open to other ppls emotions and it can be draining.

Most of my past gets completely destroyed tho. Revisiting is just that. Revisiting. Because they either moved on or got hurt and just would rather not. So I'm forced to move forward.

I got this one lingering situation from the last that's just begging for completion. And it's a woman I couldn't reject for the world. She got my number in every...single....way. And I know the situation won't end good. I know. But I never felt like this about a woman before. It's consuming.

So yea...I dwelve in the past alot

I appreciate your honesty.

I in turn will be honest with you.

When I was with my ex Leo, I got pregnant twice and had two abortions. The first was forced on me by my mom. She said I had to choose between the baby (her own grandchild) or being a member of her family. I kept the second pregnancy to myself. No one cared about me the 1st time. I felt very alone. This was in 2006.

Fast forward to today and I’m entered menopause with no chance of having kids. Never had a relationship after the Leo. Not even a date. I missed the boat and it was all my fault.

Looking back, I shoulda had those kids. But nooooo, people always told me to wait. Wait on the Lord, wait on a guy, wait to buy a house, wait to go on vacation, just keep on waiting.

The wait got me absolutely nowhere.

I sometimes think that I was tricked into waiting. Others not really wanting me to progress. They wanted me stuck.

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Damn.........I feel you wholeheartedly. Especially the last part. This is why I always say I'll never roll with ppl who "have a plan for me/us". I've let ppl change my mind on certain things and I regret it.

My aunt ended up childless but in a far different way. I'm the closest thing she has to a son. Me and my other aunts two kids and my evil ass sister. But I'm the only one that acts like it. Only one who ever paid her back. Only one that shows appreciation. Tbh, if I lost her anytime soon.....the world would see a hateful me.

I said that to say that I know what that kind of situation does to a woman. On so many levels. And I know what feels like to have someone else's idea of you pushed on to you