ladyscorpio91
@ladyscorpio91
10 YearsScorpio
Comments: 0 · Posts: 109 · Topics: 10
Aquarius relationship advice!
Being an Aqua, I hate arguments. I run away from them asap. And maybe even from the person who argues.
Being an Aqua, I hate arguments. I run away from them asap. And maybe even from the person who argues.
Posted by febaqua
Being an Aqua, I hate arguments. I run away from them asap. And maybe even from the person who argues.
He likes me too much to leave me, we are planning our future already and he knows deep down our arguments our pointless because they are always about the dumbest things!
We mainly argue because he starts them!! I wish I knew what I was doing so wrong! Thats what makes me think its his way of discussing/having debates/sharing views/opinions. Idk!
I am not saying you are doing something wrong, but try to avoid those arguments which anyway are pointless as you just said.
Try talking about quality stuff. But then, if he starts those arguments, then back off and see what he does. 🙂
Try talking about quality stuff. But then, if he starts those arguments, then back off and see what he does. 🙂
One way to prevent arguments or prevent them from escalating is to agree with the other person, and if you do that continually you'll get dissatisfied and won't be getting what you want.
This is my PSA to all water signs dealing with air signs: DON'T get butthurt over arguing and debating. It's not a personal attack, it is how some people like to relate to others. You have to learn to distinguish between argument out of malice and argument out of "sport" or just to debate, or if in fact this person is just talking or disagreeing with you.
"I want us to be happy and in love like we are other times." —??
The fact that y'all argue doesn't mean that you aren't happy and in love. People that love each other argue all the time. How about, next time he starts to argue with you about something you think is dumb, why don't you start laughing and make a smart ass remark or engage in a fun debate with him. That is, unless he is actually insulting you or saying something out of line when he argues with you. If that's the case, you need to work on that issue instead of figuring out how to not argue.
This is my PSA to all water signs dealing with air signs: DON'T get butthurt over arguing and debating. It's not a personal attack, it is how some people like to relate to others. You have to learn to distinguish between argument out of malice and argument out of "sport" or just to debate, or if in fact this person is just talking or disagreeing with you.
"I want us to be happy and in love like we are other times." —??
The fact that y'all argue doesn't mean that you aren't happy and in love. People that love each other argue all the time. How about, next time he starts to argue with you about something you think is dumb, why don't you start laughing and make a smart ass remark or engage in a fun debate with him. That is, unless he is actually insulting you or saying something out of line when he argues with you. If that's the case, you need to work on that issue instead of figuring out how to not argue.
Posted by ladyscorpio91Posted by febaqua
Being an Aqua, I hate arguments. I run away from them asap. And maybe even from the person who argues.
He likes me too much to leave me, we are planning our future already and he knows deep down our arguments our pointless because they are always about the dumbest things!
We mainly argue because he starts them!! I wish I knew what I was doing so wrong! Thats what makes me think its his way of discussing/having debates/sharing views/opinions. Idk!click to expand
Change how you respond to him when he starts them. You can't control what he does, but you can control how you respond.
The root of most arguments is selfishness.
It seems, you're still in the "I'm the one wearing the pants in this relationship" stage.
This relationship is young, but someone needs to give in.
It seems, you're still in the "I'm the one wearing the pants in this relationship" stage.
This relationship is young, but someone needs to give in.
Posted by febaqua
I am not saying you are doing something wrong, but try to avoid those arguments which anyway are pointless as you just said.
Try talking about quality stuff. But then, if he starts those arguments, then back off and see what he does. 🙂
Good thinking! Really appreciate this response - I am going to try to do this tonight :-) :-)
Posted by augustmoon
One way to prevent arguments or prevent them from escalating is to agree with the other person, and if you do that continually you'll get dissatisfied and won't be getting what you want.
This is my PSA to all water signs dealing with air signs: DON'T get butthurt over arguing and debating. It's not a personal attack, it is how some people like to relate to others. You have to learn to distinguish between argument out of malice and argument out of "sport" or just to debate, or if in fact this person is just talking or disagreeing with you.
"I want us to be happy and in love like we are other times." —??
The fact that y'all argue doesn't mean that you aren't happy and in love. People that love each other argue all the time. How about, next time he starts to argue with you about something you think is dumb, why don't you start laughing and make a smart ass remark or engage in a fun debate with him. That is, unless he is actually insulting you or saying something out of line when he argues with you. If that's the case, you need to work on that issue instead of figuring out how to not argue.
Yeah I am super sensitive scorpio.. I just probably am taking everything to heart without even realizing. Your words are truly helpful, thank you :-)
I will definately keep all this in mind lady!!!!
Posted by truecapPosted by ladyscorpio91Posted by febaqua
Being an Aqua, I hate arguments. I run away from them asap. And maybe even from the person who argues.
He likes me too much to leave me, we are planning our future already and he knows deep down our arguments our pointless because they are always about the dumbest things!
We mainly argue because he starts them!! I wish I knew what I was doing so wrong! Thats what makes me think its his way of discussing/having debates/sharing views/opinions. Idk!
Change how you respond to him when he starts them. You can't control what he does, but you can control how you respond.click to expand
Thank you!! Man you guys are good! Don't mind me (the polar opposite in the corner) lol!!! Thank you!
Posted by ladyscorpio91Posted by augustmoon
One way to prevent arguments or prevent them from escalating is to agree with the other person, and if you do that continually you'll get dissatisfied and won't be getting what you want.
This is my PSA to all water signs dealing with air signs: DON'T get butthurt over arguing and debating. It's not a personal attack, it is how some people like to relate to others. You have to learn to distinguish between argument out of malice and argument out of "sport" or just to debate, or if in fact this person is just talking or disagreeing with you.
"I want us to be happy and in love like we are other times." —??
The fact that y'all argue doesn't mean that you aren't happy and in love. People that love each other argue all the time. How about, next time he starts to argue with you about something you think is dumb, why don't you start laughing and make a smart ass remark or engage in a fun debate with him. That is, unless he is actually insulting you or saying something out of line when he argues with you. If that's the case, you need to work on that issue instead of figuring out how to not argue.click to expand
Yeah I am super sensitive scorpio.. I just probably am taking everything to heart without even realizing. Your words are truly helpful, thank you :-)
I will definately keep all this in mind lady!!!!
No problem!! 🙂
Lady scorp don't be sensitive, aqua males like women who can hold their ground.
Agree to disagree 😉
They don't like weak females.
Agree to disagree 😉
They don't like weak females.
Posted by IAmMystified
Lady scorp don't be sensitive, aqua males like women who can hold their ground.
Agree to disagree 😉
They don't like weak females.
Yeah he hates when I get super sad/emotional -- and I know he truly cares about me because he doesn't run away or ignore me, but he tries to comfort me - once the damage is done though its hard to come out of as a Scorpio :-/
If only he would realize how I react when we argue and then maybe make the effort to not bring that side out of me but thats when I begin to think he is too stubborn to do so - or maybe his "arguing" is his way of discussions/debating.
I will be truly trying to control my emotions, wish my Aqua could say hes trying something for my sake also - but probably not the case lol. I have hope :-)
I once said "I HATE ARGUING ITS THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO EVER!!! I AM SO SAD AND ANGRY WHEN I ARGUE I DONT LIKE IT!!" and he said "Thats the difference between us - even when we argue, I am happy - I am happy when were getting a long and I am happy when were arguing"
GRRR!!! Hes amazing - I will fight him to the death I will not be the girl that let go of the aqua man!!! They really have so many good things to offer. Just wish my sex drive wasn't so DAMN HIGH!!! I would probably chill the hell out. Thats another thing, as a scorpio once I get my sex for the day, I am impossible to argue with. I am too happy for negativity lol 😄
I think august moon had a really good point when it comes to fight out of malice and sport..
I'm an aquarius with a scorpio moon so internally its like I have the two of you fighting lol..
I'm cool calm and controlled and yet I'm overly sensitive and have flip out when I'm having my moments.....A lot of my internal struggles has to do with this tug of war with my logical self and my emotional self, when I accept both and both accept each other I accept myself resulting in me dropping my ego and I'm at my most happiest and its a very liberating experience until it wears off haha...But I do live for that understanding because it feels great.
A lot of you're needs in the relationship with the aqua centre around you wanting to clear the air and talk about your rights and wrongs and conclude it and apologise "apology" I believe is what you are after.....You seem to want this so bad that you feel you can't function unless you have this closure, well there is an old saying that goes "love means not having to say you're sorry"
—Never having to say you??re sorry?? means that you know you are loved truly for who you are. You are accepted. In order to give this kind of love to someone else, we first have to love and accept ourselves with the utmost loving compassion, understanding, and carry zero self-judgment.
I learned that forgiveness can be replaced with compassionate understanding. When we truly understand, there is not an ego need for a formal apology. When we love purely, there is not an ego need, period. There is only compassion and understanding. What we —want?? and —deserve?? may come from both ego and self-value. Certainly we all deserve pure love. However, to receive it, we have to first learn how to give it first to ourselves, and then to another.
I'm an aquarius with a scorpio moon so internally its like I have the two of you fighting lol..
I'm cool calm and controlled and yet I'm overly sensitive and have flip out when I'm having my moments.....A lot of my internal struggles has to do with this tug of war with my logical self and my emotional self, when I accept both and both accept each other I accept myself resulting in me dropping my ego and I'm at my most happiest and its a very liberating experience until it wears off haha...But I do live for that understanding because it feels great.
A lot of you're needs in the relationship with the aqua centre around you wanting to clear the air and talk about your rights and wrongs and conclude it and apologise "apology" I believe is what you are after.....You seem to want this so bad that you feel you can't function unless you have this closure, well there is an old saying that goes "love means not having to say you're sorry"
—Never having to say you??re sorry?? means that you know you are loved truly for who you are. You are accepted. In order to give this kind of love to someone else, we first have to love and accept ourselves with the utmost loving compassion, understanding, and carry zero self-judgment.
I learned that forgiveness can be replaced with compassionate understanding. When we truly understand, there is not an ego need for a formal apology. When we love purely, there is not an ego need, period. There is only compassion and understanding. What we —want?? and —deserve?? may come from both ego and self-value. Certainly we all deserve pure love. However, to receive it, we have to first learn how to give it first to ourselves, and then to another.
I've said the same thing to the aqua male, I said something along the lines of never wanting to argue about this same kinda "shit" again.
The thing is, it isn't really about you. It's about the BOTH of you. You have to be willing to see his side and understand his side but also make sure you are fulfilled as well.
Thing is he's never going to coddle you, and if he does it'll be rare and only because he CHOOSES to...and they usually have a logical approach to things. You have to take your emotions out of it because even emotions I will admit make things seem and be worse than they really are.
If you are upset about something, tell him directly right away that way you don't keep things bottled up until you burst and rant at him (I've done that more often than not and it really never made me feel better or solved anything).
But if you can tell him right away what's upsetting you and be calm/rational about it, he's more apt to understand your point and please you.
But if you wait until you start ranting at him then he's going to just assume your a crazy woman or have that thought..."here she goes again".
The aqua man has had exes who were like it and he has this hard set in stone perception of how women are bossy, want their way, and are emotional and rant like crazy people but I always swore I wasn't like that and even I proved his point (LOL its rare that i rant like a crazy woman...but I did it and it just reinforced his perception).
So over time I have taking the aqua approach and looked at things logically and surprisingly we have gotten along 200x better. Now and then I revert back and want to get all emotional but its a job reminding myself to approach things differently.
The thing is, it isn't really about you. It's about the BOTH of you. You have to be willing to see his side and understand his side but also make sure you are fulfilled as well.
Thing is he's never going to coddle you, and if he does it'll be rare and only because he CHOOSES to...and they usually have a logical approach to things. You have to take your emotions out of it because even emotions I will admit make things seem and be worse than they really are.
If you are upset about something, tell him directly right away that way you don't keep things bottled up until you burst and rant at him (I've done that more often than not and it really never made me feel better or solved anything).
But if you can tell him right away what's upsetting you and be calm/rational about it, he's more apt to understand your point and please you.
But if you wait until you start ranting at him then he's going to just assume your a crazy woman or have that thought..."here she goes again".
The aqua man has had exes who were like it and he has this hard set in stone perception of how women are bossy, want their way, and are emotional and rant like crazy people but I always swore I wasn't like that and even I proved his point (LOL its rare that i rant like a crazy woman...but I did it and it just reinforced his perception).
So over time I have taking the aqua approach and looked at things logically and surprisingly we have gotten along 200x better. Now and then I revert back and want to get all emotional but its a job reminding myself to approach things differently.
The one thing that I am struggling with is the jealous regarding the "volume" factor.
He has a tendency to be more talkative with others than with me, I'm not sure if its because they are just more communicative/social or its because he has to explain things more before other people will understand him whereas he has to say very little and I always get what he means or for both reasons.
Either case, I get jealous with that. Not sure why, I guess its becuase I think there's a method to the madness when it could just be the way it is sotospeak.
I dunno, its hard controlling it but if you can control it as early as possible...you won't go crazy LOL.
He has a tendency to be more talkative with others than with me, I'm not sure if its because they are just more communicative/social or its because he has to explain things more before other people will understand him whereas he has to say very little and I always get what he means or for both reasons.
Either case, I get jealous with that. Not sure why, I guess its becuase I think there's a method to the madness when it could just be the way it is sotospeak.
I dunno, its hard controlling it but if you can control it as early as possible...you won't go crazy LOL.
@The_eleventh_sign_11
Sorry my reply kept getting cut off, heres the full reply.
"Very helpful, thank you so much for this advice! You already relate to a lot of how my Aqua is right off the bat, he has said things of this nature to me before. Really inspiring and lovely - attracts us Scorpios! I will surely keep this in mind, us Scorpios are just so extremely sensitive and admire those like us that can own up and talk about how we may have wronged someone. To us it is the ultimate way of simply being and when people want to argue aimlessly with no purpose, just boggles the crap out of me! I am noticing that we either need to compromise (which requires talking things out) or one of the two of us is going to have to literally change who they are, hopefully whichever is for the better would stand up to the challenge.
Aqua man: Would have to start apologizing to his Scorpio lady if he disrespects/is too harsh to her.
Scorp lady: Would have to start pretending that disrespect/harshness does not phase her.
If only he saw these posts - maybe he would see how much I am struggling and care to try a little for me :-/"
Sorry my reply kept getting cut off, heres the full reply.
"Very helpful, thank you so much for this advice! You already relate to a lot of how my Aqua is right off the bat, he has said things of this nature to me before. Really inspiring and lovely - attracts us Scorpios! I will surely keep this in mind, us Scorpios are just so extremely sensitive and admire those like us that can own up and talk about how we may have wronged someone. To us it is the ultimate way of simply being and when people want to argue aimlessly with no purpose, just boggles the crap out of me! I am noticing that we either need to compromise (which requires talking things out) or one of the two of us is going to have to literally change who they are, hopefully whichever is for the better would stand up to the challenge.
Aqua man: Would have to start apologizing to his Scorpio lady if he disrespects/is too harsh to her.
Scorp lady: Would have to start pretending that disrespect/harshness does not phase her.
If only he saw these posts - maybe he would see how much I am struggling and care to try a little for me :-/"
Posted by IAmMystified
The one thing that I am struggling with is the jealous regarding the "volume" factor.
He has a tendency to be more talkative with others than with me, I'm not sure if its because they are just more communicative/social or its because he has to explain things more before other people will understand him whereas he has to say very little and I always get what he means or for both reasons.
Either case, I get jealous with that. Not sure why, I guess its becuase I think there's a method to the madness when it could just be the way it is sotospeak.
I dunno, its hard controlling it but if you can control it as early as possible...you won't go crazy LOL.
AMAZING ADVICE! Really appreciate this feedback a lot. Truly helpful!!! I am such a bag full of emotions to the point I dont even realize it!!! RAWR! Hahahah
I am going to definitely be trying the "Aqua approach"!!
Oh man and as a scorpio, jealousy...... If I didn't knock that out I was going to self distruct so its hasnt been an issue in my relationships as of late. I just tell myself to admire him and find the good in it :-) Its just who he is. Probably cuz he doesn't have an emotional connection (YES AQUA AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOUR A SUPER HERO, YOU STILL HAVE A HEART) so it makes it easier to talk to those who hes not connected with on that level. hmmmmmm...
Posted by ladyscorpio91
AMAZING ADVICE! Really appreciate this feedback a lot. Truly helpful!!! I am such a bag full of emotions to the point I dont even realize it!!! RAWR! Hahahah
I am going to definitely be trying the "Aqua approach"!!
Oh man and as a scorpio, jealousy...... If I didn't knock that out I was going to self distruct so its hasnt been an issue in my relationships as of late. I just tell myself to admire him and find the good in it :-) Its just who he is. Probably cuz he doesn't have an emotional connection (YES AQUA AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOUR A SUPER HERO, YOU STILL HAVE A HEART) so it makes it easier to talk to those who hes not connected with on that level. hmmmmmm...
Oh i've self destructed a billion times around him. It got to a point where he couldn't deal with it anymore and he had to put me in my place. It made me sob actually LOL. So not attractive. But for me, the jealousy is more about me being angry and not being able to say what I wanna say to him. I worry about certain things and that's what stops me from full on transparancy.
I guess your right, for whatever reasons even my friends say that it is easier for them to talk to people they have no emotional connection to. I don't get it, because when you hear them talk to people they have no emotional connection to...they say things that you would normally equate with emotional connections. Such as: remembering things about the person, cracking jokes and making the person laugh, asking questions about them.
I dunno.
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