Are you Mean?

Maybe this can be confused with being cold...detached or just plain too honest sometimes. Have your friends or anyone ever accused you of being mean? I asked my good scorpio friend today if he thought I was mean and he goes..."hell yeah your mean." I mean I am very very selective. Either you get my time or you dont. Theres no grey with me. Its like im either obsessed or your invisible. Anyways...what say you?

Sure, I'm "mean".. when I wanna be. Cold, detached, too blunt, brutally honest, refuse to sugar-coat, all of that. The older I get, the less and less I care about others' opinions of me, though - and I never cared much in the first place *shrug*

Yes. But, im a naturally nice person, i become not so nice if u do something to set me off. In rl ppl usually get shocked when they see my bitchy side coz im always laughing until u step on my toes. I've been called cold a lot of times bcoz
1. I say hurtful things with caring if u r hurt
2. I cut u off without 2nd thought or caring about how long i've known u
So, yeah, my coldness is well known, im not proud of it thou cause i've lost some really good ppl over it coz of my unwillingness to apologize/reconcile for what i view as their fault. They ALWAYS start it the way i see it.

Posted by bubblyaquarius
I'm too nice.

I'm this too.

However, like the other thread, I won't waste my time around someone, or those on a "wider" scale if I didn't care.

but, on an individual basis, if I spent any time with you as a person(s), i do care. Time is important in the Saturn sense, and Uranus, the change, to be a better person, even if it's always evolving in many directions.

Posted by coldwater
Maybe this can be confused with being cold...detached or just plain too honest sometimes. Have your friends or anyone ever accused you of being mean? I asked my good scorpio friend today if he thought I was mean and he goes..."hell yeah your mean." I mean I am very very selective. Either you get my time or you dont. Theres no grey with me. Its like im either obsessed or your invisible. Anyways...what say you?

Out of sight. Out of mind. This is true in every aquarius placement. Definitely the Aqua part.
However, uncannily people in "general" gravitate towards us in real life don't they? If we show any part of happiness, or goodness, which is inherent in all of us. The gravitational pull is immense. Like Venus. Totally have to DOWNplay it. This is probably the "part" where the "meanness" perception comes in. It's like STOP, hey hey hey, put the brakes on, buddy. Just because I looked over your way which means it was probably a fleck on your shirt which meant NOTHING, your eyes went Va-voooom. Ugh. *smile*

the above comments are referred to for 'friendship' basis.
How a significant other can have us? Personally, women in "general" choose. That's how I saw it. Maybe men too?

Most Aquas I know are really, nice, kind, sweet, fun people. They can also be brutally honest - but its for your own good. I respect that!

Posted by WaterCup
Yes. But, im a naturally nice person, i become not so nice if u do something to set me off. In rl ppl usually get shocked when they see my bitchy side coz im always laughing until u step on my toes. I've been called cold a lot of times bcoz
1. I say hurtful things with caring if u r hurt
2. I cut u off without 2nd thought or caring about how long i've known u
So, yeah, my coldness is well known, im not proud of it thou cause i've lost some really good ppl over it coz of my unwillingness to apologize/reconcile for what i view as their fault. They ALWAYS start it the way i see it.

Seems to be a common problem for Aquas.
Mine always said "it takes 2 to tango" but in the end it was all my fault. If I admitted it was my fault then it made it worse as it portrayed me as weak, if I didn't then it was finished and nothing happened unless I admitted it was my fault.
Any reasoning on my part was dealt with anger.
Aquas come off as very one sided people, much more than any other sign.

Posted by truecap
Most Aquas I know are really, nice, kind, sweet, fun people. They can also be brutally honest - but its for your own good. I respect that!

You just described me. I'm very nice, fun, compassionate and kind. However if you are asking me for advice or constantly ranting about things that you are in denial about, I will let you know. I'm brutally honest.

SV...she's playing a mental dance with you. Anyway you play the situation you will lose. If you dont respond she will still see u as weak because she can dominate you. If you do respond then you are weak as well cause she manipulated you. The best way to get thru the ordeal is to not engage in it. See it for what it is. Instead maybe be like...."I wonder whats playing on the movies tonight."
You have to do something unexpected so that it makes her wonder. Throw her off balance.
What she asks you to do is not what she really wants you to do kinda thing....... Its not so much that we are one sided, but if im not mistaken aquarius is a male sign and I think sometimes it translates into our relationships. That and we truely want for out partners to understand us...be able to get into our heads.

Most of the time I'm too apathetic to speak up. When I do I try to be as polite as possible. I don't like forcing my opinion on other because I think it's counterproductive. That's unless my (Virgo) Moon is in a argumentative mood.

I admit I'm not honest all the time. I won't bother bother telling you my honest opinion if I know you don't want to hear it. It takes patience to get a point across and sometimes I'm not up for the task. I will just sugarcoat the whole thing or simply refrain from saying anything because it's easier that way.

The problem I have noticed on DXP boards, for example, is that people (me included) get so focused on the process of expressing an opinion that they fail to influence people the way they want. Many will blatantly say that they don't give a shit what others think. If that's so then there's no point in speaking up, is there? The most recurrent case is people resorting to personal attacks to get a quick reaction. It's really the same as sugar-coating, but there's no sweetness in this one. It's the same because, just like sugar-coating, you won't have a real influence on others (unless you are troll). People will take offence of what you said and will focus on the insults, not the message you wanted to get across.

Patience is a requirement for "empathy". The same "empathy" that so many impatient people on these boards claim to have.

to be honest im a dead set cunt...but thats part of my charm....ppl think im adorable when i smile but when im not smiling I look like a criminal....ive had to balance being cute and approachable with mean and stay the fuck away from me throughout all my life.....I'm blunt but im also shy...alot of my freinds say i can be really mean when I'm confronting someone i get off on the adreanaline

Posted by coldwater
SV...she's playing a mental dance with you. Anyway you play the situation you will lose. If you dont respond she will still see u as weak because she can dominate you. If you do respond then you are weak as well cause she manipulated you. The best way to get thru the ordeal is to not engage in it. See it for what it is. Instead maybe be like...."I wonder whats playing on the movies tonight."
You have to do something unexpected so that it makes her wonder. Throw her off balance.
What she asks you to do is not what she really wants you to do kinda thing....... Its not so much that we are one sided, but if im not mistaken aquarius is a male sign and I think sometimes it translates into our relationships. That and we truely want for out partners to understand us...be able to get into our heads.

Firstly, thank you for trying to help.
I'm a Virgo so I guess that doesn't go with us, we like things to be quite straightforward. When we tell someone that we want to spend our lives with you, we mean it in a very straightforward and plain way. Don't really have the tolerance for all these mind games, at least ones that are a gamble on the whole relationship. I think your advice is good and might've worked (it's history now) but honestly, I didn't even think of doing that and I spent days thinking about how to handle the whole situation.
Anyway, this Aqua really screwed me over mentally on all levels and while I have another Aqua that's interested in me, I'm keeping distance on purpose - knowing what heartbreak could follow.

Posted by bubblyaquarius
I'm too nice.

Only an Aquarius could say that. If you can say that with a straight face, everything is not okay.
The brutal honesty part, I wish Aquarius would also apply it to themselves, not just others.

Yes Virgo and Aquarians can be a tough match, at least for me. I was with one 13 years. I know that I can be alot to handle so I tend to put in my disclaimers early. My trouble is, men see it as a challenge and usally the chase is on. If your not into the whole push and pull, tug and wrestle kinda thing then it can be taxing for you. Ill be fine. I need that mental foreplay.... out of this world kinda..., do u want Sprite or Pepsi kinda romance. Heck...I might say pour me a sweet tea just to keep you guessing. Love to see the eyebrows go up because your intrigued.....

I have a few great male friends where honesty is very important in our frienship.The truth can be very cold and difficult to accept. However, we can talk about anything and we just keep it plain real. If I need an honest opinion, I know I will get the gosh honest truth according to them. Now, on the outside looking in, one might say we are cold and mean to one another. We actually flourish as friends because of this.

Posted by bubblyaquarius

Posted by sv

Posted by coldwater
SV...she's playing a mental dance with you. Anyway you play the situation you will lose. If you dont respond she will still see u as weak because she can dominate you. If you do respond then you are weak as well cause she manipulated you. The best way to get thru the ordeal is to not engage in it. See it for what it is. Instead maybe be like...."I wonder whats playing on the movies tonight."
You have to do something unexpected so that it makes her wonder. Throw her off balance.
What she asks you to do is not what she really wants you to do kinda thing....... Its not so much that we are one sided, but if im not mistaken aquarius is a male sign and I think sometimes it translates into our relationships. That and we truely want for out partners to understand us...be able to get into our heads.

Firstly, thank you for trying to help.
I'm a Virgo so I guess that doesn't go with us, we like things to be quite straightforward. When we tell someone that we want to spend our lives with you, we mean it in a very straightforward and plain way. Don't really have the tolerance for all these mind games, at least ones that are a gamble on the whole relationship. I think your advice is good and might've worked (it's history now) but honestly, I didn't even think of doing that and I spent days thinking about how to handle the whole situation.
Anyway, this Aqua really screwed me over mentally on all levels and while I have another Aqua that's interested in me, I'm keeping distance on purpose - knowing what heartbreak could follow.

No mind games here. Water is my dominant element. I have a lot of Pisces and Scorpio in me...so I'm not like what your saying your Aqua was. Aquas are very straight-forward and generally don't beat around the bush...so I'm sorry you had an Aqua that honestly sounds more like a Gemini. =/ If i say I want to spend my life with someone I mean it to. And trust me, in my relationships, I'm the one who gets played. So I guess I'm the weaker in most, and am the one who gets hurt, like you. No offence.

click to expand

Sorry, I actually meant that I was willing to spend my life with her but she never said the same to me. I assumed wrongly she wanted tha

DXP cutting messages short again, this is ridiculous.

Lunatics= misundertood genuis...
It all depends on what dictionary you use.

Posted by coldwater
Lunatics= misundertood genuis...
It all depends on what dictionary you use.

lol i like looney (Like Luna Lovegood looney): Lunatic - of the moon

although...best genius quote from Albert Camus (November 7, 1913 French Algeria)

—I don't want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man.??


?? Albert Camus

love it!

(replace that with modern day 'woman' too if you like)

Posted by coldwater
Lunatics= misundertood genuis...
It all depends on what dictionary you use.

...but most are actually just plain lunatics 😄

Posted by bubblyaquarius

Posted by sv

Posted by coldwater
Lunatics= misundertood genuis...
It all depends on what dictionary you use.

...but most are actually just plain lunatics 😄

I'm not a lunatic...
Just sometimes this happens...

click to expand

You're probably not (but you are terribly good looking).
In my limited experience Aquarius don't obsess and rethink the relationship situations, they forget and move on fairly easily. Us Virgos, we become hermits who re-play and obsess over past situations. I often come up with the perfect thing to say in a situation...a month later when it doesn't have any relevance anymore.